Member Since: October 23, 2006
Answers: 15
Last Update: October 27, 2006
Visitors: 1845
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I'm not a novice when it comes to the topic of suicide, but I am now facing a situation and I have no idea what to do. Over the past year, my friend(Hannah), and I have been writing letters to each other, even though we see each other every day. Well, I've found out things about her, and she about me, through these letters. She's really depressed and wants to kill herself. I've told her that if she wants to find someone who can help, I'll help her find someone. But, a few days ago, she told me that she didn't care whether or not she lived or died, so she wouldn't be helping me find someone to help her. So now, I feel as if her life is in my hands. My problem is, I don't know who to talk to. Hannah swears that she won't be mad at me if I tell someone, I just don't know who to tell. HELP ME, PLEASE! (link)
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Hi,
Hannah is very lucky to have a friend like you!
Firstly, keep writing to eachother, the fact that she's telling you she's down mean sthat she needs the help. So keep communication going! In turn, write to her about the positive things in her life; maybe she has pretty eyes, a great smile, a great sense of humour. Whatever it is, tell her so that she starts building her self-esteem.
Secondly, try and ask her what it is that is making her feel suicidal, maybe it's school or family life, or hopefully something that can be fixed.
Also, I know you want to be loyal to your friend, but you need to tell an adult! Are her parents kind and trustworthy? If you think they're caring and perhaps not the problem, tell them about it! Does she have an older broor sis? Go to them. Or do you have a teacher at school you like and trust or a counsellor at school. Or go with her to the doctor.
Whatever help you can get her is important! You're doing a great job a it is but someone else needs to get involved, preferably a professional.
Good luck and best wishes.
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Ok heres my the deal:
-had a b.f for 4 months
-we had a fight one night, and the next day i got a text asking is this is?is it over?
-i called him later and asked him if he wanted it to be over. he said he was in the middle
-i got mad and said fine then lets end it and he said fine...it was a weird convo with many silences and uncertainties
-problem is... i still love him
- he told my best friend that night that he regrets breaking up and he wants me back
- i wantd him back too so i sent little texts like a smily face and stuff to him
-we spoke on tuesday over texts and he said we could be still be friends and we spoke about the realtionship and what went wrong
-tuesday we spoke again and i told him that i was sad it was over and he said so was he, but the reason he was in the middle was cause he thought the realtionshio was getting boring and almost long distance cause im in university.
-i told him lets wait a month and stay friends with potential to decide what to do (cause he did hurt me)and he agreed
-im trying to get him involved with group outings like this thing this saturday but it costs 30$ to get in and he says hes not going cause he needs the money to get a car...and hes working like every night now, a lot more then he did when he was with me
-i really want to see him and i believe that what we had was real
-all my family and friends think im stupid for even considering it cause we broke up already
-but i believe in 2ns chances and i think we can work through it
-we spoke again last night on msn and we were joking around, and he told me...."i know you still want me" and i joked around saying ya i want u so bad...and hes like "i know you do" what does that means?...so thats my story....
I dont want to seem desperate or anything but i want him back and i dont know how to do it? do you think he wants me back? thanks soo much! u guys have really helped me (link)
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I really feel for you.
The fact that he knows you want him back shows he's getting a bit of a big head and may in fact be enjoying that! So next time he says that retort that you know he wants you! See what he says!
It's good if you can build up your friendship because in a relationship, being friends is important! However, be careful that he's not giving you false hope or playing around with you because you clearly have deep feelings for him and he should understand and respect that.
Distance can be an issue but if you really have something special and you'r eboth willing to put the work in, then it can work out. I think you need to talk to him and mkae sure he understands and respects your feelings. You need to know where you stand and whether this is going in the directionyou want it. Make sure you're both on the same page otherwise you may end up hurt again.
Also, try and remain calm and civilised. I know this seems silly but when things get heated , it's easy to say something you don't mean...hence you two breaking up in the first place.
I hope things work out for you for the best! Good luck!
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so theres this guy i hung out with wednesday and we talked a few times before and he told my other friend that he wanted to get to know me and stuff so thats why we hung out.. and then we kissed when we were hanging out and two days has passed and he hasnt even talked to me.. i would be online the same time hes online and he wouldnt even IM me.. and its hard cause im starting to like him kinda.. so what does this mean...? (link)
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This guy may be thinking exactly what you're thinking now: "Why hasn't SHE IM'd me???". Although us girls can be shy and expect guys to make the moves, guys can be shy too. Maybe he's shy and worries you've regretted the kiss.
The best thing is to IM him yourself or talk to him when you next see him and ask him if he's and talk about the kiss so you know where you stand. It may turn out good or it may not be so good, but you won't know until you find out right!?
Seize the day! You may be delay the possibility of a great relationship!
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I've been dating this guy for about five months now. I think we're perfect together & everytime I'm with him, he makes me the happiest girlfriend alive. He's like a part of my life & I really don't know what would happen if he weren't to be in my life anymore.
With that, we have this BIG disagreement.
He smokes weed, and I think it's REALLY gross. Ever since he met me, he has cut down, because he hangs out with me a lot, and he won't do it around me. He smoked weed for like three years before he met me, so it's not like he just recently started. I know weed isn't addicting, the only reason he likes it is because it's just nice to have every once in awhile.
I don't like weed because I just don't like how weird he acts when he's on it, it just scares me. He also says mean things about me, [I found his tape recorder & he ended up recording an entire conversation with his roommate talking about how unhappy he is with me!]
He said he's not willing to change & weed has been around a lot longer then me.
I'm lost, what should I do??
Thank you! (link)
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The fact that he's not willing to quit the weed suggests he is in fact addicted to it! There is such a thing as a psychological addiction to weed. The worrying thing is that the full affects of weed is still unknown and is still being researched. For example, I recently read an article that states that research has shown that cannabis can cause Schizophrenia in young people!
There are harmful effects to smoking weed. Also, people who tend to smoke weed do tend to go on to take harder drugs as the buzz of weed starts to fade and they get immune to it. So I completely agree with you hating weed! I do too! I've seen people get addicted to it and move onto harder stuff.
All behaviour altering drugs are a big NO NO!
Try showing your boyfriend the dangers of smoking weed and talk to him seriously about it and tell him how he acts differently when he smokes. If he's hell bent onnot changing, then ditch him! He should be willing to compromise for you. Yes, granted he doesn't smoke in front of you, but if he's mean to you and scares when he's under the influence of weed then that's a big problem.
Also, how did he justify making a tape where he disses you!? Why do you want to stay with someone like that? You're in danger of falling in a rut and having your self-esteem trampled if you continue to be with someone who talks behind your back like that. And for him to say weed's been around longer than you shows how messed up his priorities are! It sows he's weak and addicted as he'd be willing to choose weed over you.
Set him a challenge to see if he can go without smoking weed for 1 month. I'll shocked if he lasts a week.
I wish you all the best and hope you make the right choice for you!
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I am a gurl who is 13. There is a problem..i sorta have a moustache and some of the people in my class make fun of me and say to the whole class that i do. It isnt really big or anything, just a little hair. is this normal? (link)
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Hun this is very normal and part of growing up and hormone changes. If I was you, I'd tell these people to grow up and get a life and to stop staring soooo closely at you. They must be obsessed with you if they're sad enough to stae so intently!
They probably have moustaches too and will probably have tostart waxing very soon!
Although I think you're stil young, you could wax your moustache or use facial hair removal cream. However, if it's really not a lot then get it bleached. It's really effective and makes the hairs light and unnoticeable. You can get it done by beauticians or by the bleach yourself from a pharmacy or beauty place.
If the teasing's getting out of hand PLEASE tell someone as they have no right to treat you this way!
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I'm a 15 year old girl who has a little problem with acne and oil. I wear foundation but it doesn't seem to help too much. I don't want something that looks cakey, but something that will cover the redness and acne and still look natural.
Can someone help me in any way? (whether it's a good face cleanser/toner, a good foundation, or tips on makeup... anything will help.) (link)
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The first thing you need to do is remove the foundation!! You don't want to block your pores, which is realising the oil, you need to let your pores breathe. Foundation clogs them up and can cause acne.
Secondly, if you feel your acne is getting bad, go see your GP who can refer you to a dermotologist or prescribe you some medicationto treat your spots.
In the meantime, here's some MUST FOLLOW tips:
- Drink plenty of water! We should be drinking about 8 glasses a day as we're made up of 70% water! Water flushes out the bodies toxins and is a must have for clear skin,
- Avoiding using thick, caked on foundation. I actually very rarely use the stuff as I know it can block pores, but you can get some good brands, such as Almay and max Factor. If you must still use foundation DON'T use it everyday. Let your skin breathe.
- Make sure you remove ALL make up at the end of the day. There's sooo many facial wipes around now, however, the best in my opinion and the one's I use is baby wipes! It could be Johnson's baby wipes or even huggies baby wipes! It doesn't matter. They're better because they're designed for babies' skin, so they're going to be more kind and sensitive to skin. I'm currently using Huggies Aloe Vera baby wipes, which are brilliant at clearing up the make up, and you get loads in one pack.
- Try using a Tea Tree oil facial scrub, preferably with scrubbing beads in them. Tea tree is a natural antiseptic and the beads are great for unblocking pores and clearing black heads, which log up the oil and dirt in your face.
-Unblock your pores with a warm towel or flannel before using and facial scrubs, heat opens the pores.
- Buy a good cleanser and toner. They're a must have! I use Clarins cleansing milk and toner. Clarins is just amazing! Although it's a little pricey, the bottle's big and lasts long and the ingredients are perfume free and made from natural plants and products, and smell gorgeous. It leaves your skin feeling smooth, soft and supple and you actually see the dirt come off your face and feel oil free! Apply the cleansing milk on your face with your fingers, leave for a bit then wipe off with cotton wool and voila! The use the Clarins toner to go with, which is briliant for hydrating your skin and further removing dirt and grime.
Go to a big store like John Lewis or House of Fraser, so that you can get expert advice onwhich Clarins product you need for your skin. Trust me, it's a god send!
I hope this helps, let me know if you have any more queries!
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i honestly think i have OCD because i've read over thousands of articles, thousands of times, plus another time i thought i misunderstood something. i tried talking to my mom, her boyfriend, my counselers at school, my psychologist, and my PCP. they all said that it was just in my head and that i complain too much. Even my friends make fun of me(in a good way)becauset they think i have to it too...but no one else believes me. there's certain things i can do, and certain things i can't without worring about SOMETHING happening. i keep getting these weird ass thoughts that i can't get rid of, and i keep seeing images. it scars the crap out of me. i like cleaniness. i like perfection. i hate germs. i fear, them actually...and yeah. you get my point. any ideas on how to show everyone that i think i need help? (link)
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What's unfortunate is that people around a loved one can be in denial as your friends and family don't want to believe there's something wrong with you.
Firstly, there's nothing wrong wit having ocd. I think that we all have a bit of it. I think I might have it a bit with certain things I do. Then again, I sometimes think it's just because I'm a perfectionist and can be pernickety.
What you need to do is see your doctor and explain your worries and the things you do that make you think you have ocd.
Typical symptoms may be:
- doing things a certain number of times i.e. having 3 sips of water before putting a glass down,
- checking, checking and re-checking something like the iron or the cooker,
- Cleaning and re-cleaning something that is clean excessively,
-washing your hands excessively, even to the point your hurting your hands as a result.
OCD can be short-term or long-term , but is liveable if you get the right help. You need to deal with your anxieties. What stresses you out? What causes you to do something that's like OCD.
See a counsellor and again, definitely your doctor. Talk to your parents again and tell them to take you seriously and that you need their support.
However, don't over-analyse and try not to worry too much as these articles you've been reading could have scared you to the point where you think you have ocd when you don't.
Good luck!
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I recently asked http://www.advicenators.com/qview.php?q=454729 and one of the columnists told me I sounded fake. So I'll try to rephrase my question in a better way with more details.
My husband and I have been having a lot of problems lately. It seems he only cares about getting sex, even though he claims he cares about me and not just my body. He and I haven't been able to talk to each other lately. He tends to keep quiet, unless we’re arguing. Then he gets really cocky and acts like he doesn’t need me. It hurts my feeling a lot, especially since he and I both slept around in our younger days. Also, he’s become involved in drug use. I know he’s been trying to quit and he’s been placed in rehabilitation, but I’m not sure I can handle the stress he causes. I love him, but I fear he’s going to hurt me. He’s never been abusive before, but I know he can be aggressive and he does tend to like rough sex. I don’t want to leave him because I don’t think I’ll ever find another guy as right for me as him, but what if I’m only kidding myself? He only seems to love me (or even like me, for that matter) when we’re getting intimate! When my brother-in-law introduced us we mostly bonded on common ground because of our similar pasts. Perhaps basing a relationship on that was a bad idea, but it made me feel more connected to him like he understood me. Now that feeling is gone. My sisters say I'm "not getting my emotional needs met", whatever that means. (link)
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Hi,
Clearly you are being ver mistreated by your husband and that is not acceptable.
However, considering that he has a drug problem, this could be the root cause of his bad behaviour towards you. For example, drug addicts can be violent and aggressive as drugs can make you have an aggressive "trip". Also, drugs are als known to dehumanise people, stripping away any feelings they have e.g. sympathy, empathy, love. It can mkae them emotionally cold. Hopefully, your husband is doing well in rehab and is seeing counselling for this. I also hope as part of his rehab, you get an opportunity to voice your fears and feelings in a safe environment, perhaps with the counsellor present, so that you can tell your husband that he scares you and that there's no communication or loving feelings from him.
I can't tell you whether you've married your husband for the wrong feelings, that's something only you can decide, but I do feel that once you talk to your husband openly and get an answer one way or another, you will have more clarity and hopefully it will help you make the right decision.
From experience of having a friend in your situation, I truly sympathise. Sometimes loving someone isn't enough, especially when there are bigger problems,such as drugs. That's why you eed to know where you stand with your husband and perhaps refuse to have sex with him until your emotional relationship with him gets back on track.
Also, look for support groups in your local area as you are clearly suffering.
I wish you all the best of luck and hope I have been of some help and comfort to you.
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Well I get very jealous when it comes to my boyfriend and talking to other girls even if they are just friends. It would kill me to see him hug another girl, Although I'm a big flirt i hug guys all the time even infront of him but he claims to not care. I think I treat him unfairly and I've been pulling guilt trips lately...and thats how my mom is and i swore that i wouldn't act like her. I just wish I could change but i can't. I get angry easy and when I'm angry jealous or sad with my boyfriend...I ignore him and start acting mean. What should I do? I love him dearly. (link)
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Hi,
I commend you for being honest about the way you treat your boyfriend.
Here's something to think about: Do you get very jealous because you're flirty yourself and perhaps you've been a naughty flirt in the past and have crossed boundaries and, therefore, get panicky in case your boyfriend will do the same?
A lot of flirts don't like their partners to flirt as they know what flirts get up to.
Talk to your boyfriend and tell him how you feel. Also, consider making a pact that you'll both still talk to mates of the opposite sex but you won't hug them if you both feel that's going too far. That could be a friendly compromise.
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I am 15 and my boyfriend is 16 and soon to be 17. We do sexual things but sex has been one of the subjects we have been talking about. He said he would wait until I'm ready and I just don't know when that will be. At times I feel like I am ready but then I just can't because I'm scared. I think I'm too young but all my friends have started doing it. I'm just in an awkward position. My mom makes comments like she'll kill me if i ever did and that scares me. My mom lost her virginity supposedly at the age of 17... I don't know if my hormones can wait untill then. I just don't know what to do. (link)
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Well done for waiting! You should be proud as you are one of the precious few who respect themselves enough to wait!
I can't get over how many KIDS are having underage sex! It's ridiculous. Also, just because you hit 16, doesn't mean you have to lose your virginity then. Some may argue that's still too young. If you're boyfriend is genuinely decent, then he should be fine with waiting. But if you feel pressure from him then ditch him!
I'm still a virgin and proud of it as I refuse to lose it to someone that isn't THE ONE for me. I'm lucky to have friends who either lost their virginity in their late teens or are still virgins as they have mature minds and respect themselves and have never given me peer pressure.
In fact, I've had friends who say they envy me as they regret having sex so young. It's a big deal, and you need to be physically, mentally and emotionally ready for it. And you need to make sure you're 100% comfortable with the person you're going to have sex with because once it's done, that's it.
So pleeeease wait. My friend told me "Trust me, you'll know when you're ready...you just know 100%".
So the fact that you have doubts means you're not ready.
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so i like this guy who likes me back. he`s never admitted it but i have a strong feeling he does and my friend was with me last time i saw him and she is convinced he likes me too. i can`t get him out of my mind, but i know i shouldn`t like him. he`s in his 20`s and i`m 15. he is friends with my older brothers, who highly disapprove of me dating. also, i see him very unoften. the last time i saw him, other than this past saturday was the begining of june. but i can`t get him off of my mind and every time i see him, he makes it harder for me to forget it. should i forget him or should i wait and see what he will do? but he`s older than me, so should i just forget him? (link)
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From what you've said, the age gap seems more than 5 yrs. The age gap wouldn't be such an issue BUT FOR the fact that you're only 15 and still a minor.
It's so sad when lovely young girls like you are in such a rush to grow up! I know you may see this guy as attractive and exciting, but you need to try and think objectively, you're still not at a legal age to be having sex and it's highly likely that this guy will be expecting this. Also, if he's attracted to young school girls, it should make you question the kind of person he is. Is he the type of guy who would want an enduring proper relationship, or a quickie behind the school bike shed!
I'm 21 years old and the idea of me going out with a guy your age would make me feel like I'm sick! If you were 20 and he was even 28, then fair enoguh! There's still a gap,but you'd be more mature and ready for that kind of guy. I can't stress to you how important it is to be with someone who's on the same wave length as you.
Another thing to consider is that you're both of a different generation. How will you feel going out with him on a night out with his mates? Mates that will probably all be his age, whilst you're only 15. Again, won't it be painfully awkward for you to invite him to a school party or mate's birthday party when all the guests are teens!?
I say this not to be cruel, but because it's the reality. My mate date an older guy whenshe was in her teens and she told me how incredibly awkward her boyfriend felt when sheinvited him to our mate's birthday part and how they had to leave early because of it. It caused and embarrassing barrier and ruined her night.
Just please think about it logically and then decide.
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I am having to make a decision about whether or not I stay in my relationship with my boyfriend of just over a year. To clear my head I wrote down the good points and the bad points. Could anyone take a look at this list and tell me what they think - does the good outweigh the bad or vice versa? Are any of the 'goods' enough to keep me with him, or are any of the 'bads' indications that I have to end it? What do you think?
Thanks
GOOD
It is comfortable.
I understand him absolutely.
He understands me absolutely.
I need him in my life.
He loves me and finds me sexy.
He never looks at other girls.
I can tell him anything.
He is my best friend.
I don’t think I will ever find the connection I have with him with anyone else.
He is willing to work for our relationship.
BAD
The sex is not satisfying.
He irritates me.
I have little respect for him.
I often dislike him.
He doesn’t know how to touch me.
I am jealous of him.
I think he is arrogant.
I don’t find him sexy.
His self-importance frustrates me.
I want him to be more subtle and mature.
He thinks he is wonderful.
(link)
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Wow! This is a tough! The good and bad almost seem like complete contradiction!
The optimist in me feels that having looked at your list, the bad are things that can be changed. So that's a positive thing right?
For example, it seems the root of his bad points are with regards to the bedroom department. You've been together for quite a while and things can get boring. What you need to do is be assertive and spice things up! If he's willing to work for your relationship, as you've said he does, then he should be willing to try and improve your sex life. Tell him what things you like and what you don't like. However, in turn for fairness, get him to do the same. Make it a game, explore eachothers' fantasies.
The key thing here is communication. Don't be afraid to talk to him about how you feel, BUT be tactful.
Also, tell him what irritates you about him. Also, ask yourself why you don't respect him and how you and he can change that.
With regards to you not finding him attractive, that's another tough one. On the one hand, looks really don't matter, personality counts and when you're old and grey, being able to enjoy your other half's company will be essential. However, if you feel no sexual attraction to your partner, it will be a big barrier and perhaps cause you to have no interest or respect in him. And obviously it will not make sex enjoyable!
So, if you feel your feelings are not strong enough and that you need to be with someone you're really attracted to, then perhaps you should call it a day. However, if it's a minor thing i.e. the way he dresses, his hairstyle etc, stuff that he can improve then, again, vocalise this!
I hope I've been of some help and wish you all the best!xxx
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I'm a teenage . Recently I have discovered that life isn't worth living unless you have love in your life. By love, I mean a significant other. I'm an artistic type of person who actually NEEDS a significant other to complete them. I'm dying without love, and since last week I have turned to alcohol to solve my problems. I have WAY TOO MUCH stress from school and work (i'm a stage actress so work for me is rehearsal) and dance classes. When I feel depressed and suicidal and I can't take this world anymore- I drink red wine. It's a bottle that I have taken from my parents. I only drink 2-3 SIPS (not DRINKS) every day... But today I had double that amount because I felt crappy from my hangover.
I feel like an alcoholic because I can't function if I haven't had my alcohol. I need to know if I've become an alcoholic or not.
And how can I survive without love? My libido is so high I could die. And ion isn't enough for me anymore. Oh, and don't tell me that "the time will come" or anything like that, or that "I'm too young". Because I'm not. I'm mature enough physically and emotionally to handle a serious relationship with another human being.
I am friendless and sick of being shunned by everyone I know.
I don't believe in God. I'm an atheist but i was raised a catholic. (link)
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You do sound on the edge of despair.
The most alarming thing that sounds out to me is the drinking. I think you're on the verge of becoming an alcoholic because you're letting alcohol control you and you're using to block out you're problems.
I think what you need to do first and foremost is go see your GP. You may have a medical sort of depression, i.e. hormone imbalance, which could be solved. Secondly, cut out the drink! Go to a support group. Thirdly, start networking and joining clubs or the gym to start making friends. You ended with saying you're friendless, which I feel is more important than having a boyfriend/girlfriend...as the saying goes, they come and go but friend sare for life.
I think, once you start making friends, you will not feel so empty and depressed and you'll realise that life is worth living. I know it's easier said than done, but everyone has the ability to make friends. It's just about finding the right friends! DO some hobbies, you're more likely to find friends outside of school who have similar interests to you than within school.
Once you get some friends, you'll start feeling more positivie about life. This positivity will start showing to others and will consequently make you more attractive to the opposite sex! Guys like girls with confidence and a positive outlook. If you're down, you'll reflect that in your expressions.
Also, try this exercise, list one or two things everyday that you like about yourself. I know that may seem hard but you WILL find something you like. It may be a physical attribute, i.e. your eyes, something in your perosnality, or even something good you did. If you make this a regular daily thing, before you know it, you're giving yourself confidence and realising the world isn't so bad after all!
Additionally, this may seem silly but you'll be surprised...make sure you are eating healthily and have a balanced diet! Studies show that eating the wrong foods canmake you prone to depression and put your hormones out of whack.
Fresh fruit, veg, nuts, seeds and even chocolate are great for making you happy...they have endorphines!
Also, have a lot of oily fish, or have omega 3 capsules...again it boosts your morale and your brain activity.
Finally, just ry everything you can and get all the help you can get because, whether you believe in God or not, your life like all human lift is precious and a gift. You have to realise that you were put on this earth for a reason. Your hear to live your life and we're all only here for a short time, not forever, so make the most of it! You deserve to be here just as much as anyone else! So please, don't be suicidal, get the help you need and start looking forward to a new and better you!
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How do i know if I'm a lesbian? i have a really close friend who's a lesbian, and I know she likes me because she kissed me one. Then I kinda freaked out because I was so sure I couldn't be a lesbian. But now my boyfriend and I broke up and I'm really attracted to her. Like, I am a slut, I'll admit it, but lately i am not into the guys. They are so boring. Maybe I'm just looking for something new and different? All i know for sure is that lately I suddenly get the urges to do sexual things to my friend. grab her boobs, touch her pussy, whatever. So, I guess I'm a lesbian. I just don't seem to like guys anymore much, if at all. (link)
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You'rw clearly at a crossroads about your sexuality. However, over-analysing the situation can make things worse. Firstly, it may be that you were hurt by the break up with your bf that now you feel you hate all boys, or that all guys will hurt you too. Also, you may be at an experimental stage where you feel you have this unique and exciting opportunity to explore your sexuality with your friend who is a lesbian. You may feel this has opened a chance to try something new. There's no harm in experimenting, so long as you don't lead your friend on who fancies you.
You may take things further with her and find out your not a lesbian. On the other hand, you may discover that you are. The only way to find out is to be open with your mate about the situation and see if she'd be willing to experiment with you.
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Well I am 15 and in highschool. I've been with my boyfriend a little over 7 months. In the way beginning when we first met... we had minni crushes on eachother...and when we were about to get closer a girl got in between and he liked her... that didn't work out so it was about us again. Then another girl came in between and he actually went out with her. When that didn't work out it was about us again. I don't know why i kept going back to him but it ended up with us going out. I felt like a rebound for the longest time but i just really liked him. Now he tells me how he can never be attracted to anyone and he truly loves me. He thinks we will actually get married and what not. I on the other hand don't think so we are only in highschool. I'm just confused about this whole thing...Was I sprt of a rebound? Also I read his texts once in awhile when i know i shouldnt but hes always texting girls... and he goes far away on church retreats and camp and what not and i fear that girls are all over him. He talks good to these girls like he misses them and what not. Whats going on here in our relationship? (link)
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Hi,
Whether you're really in love with this guy can only be answered by you. It seems you may be in love with him, but I'm not sure if it's teen love or a love that lasts. Only time can tell.
However, I think the real question to ask is whether he's REALLY in love with you? From what you've explained, I think you're a sensible girl who knows deep down that this guy is probably a ladies' man. His text messages are highly suspicious. It's inappropriate to be textig lots of girls and saying he misses them when he's supposed to be with you!
I think you should ditch him. He's left you for other girls before, he'll do it again. You deserve better than him and you know to show him that. If you keep putting up with his behaviour, then you'll be a doormat for the rest of your life.
Also, you must remember, you're only 15! You're both so young and still have a lot ahead of you, so perhaps you shouldn't have big expectations of him. Then again, he's not helping when he tells you he will marry you! I think the best thing to do is to sit down and talk to him.
Perhaps, mention that you've seen the texts and tell him to be honest with you. Overall though, I think you can do better and I think that one day, when you truly meet "THE ONE", you will look back at this guy and laugh, and you'll wonder why you wasted even a second on him!
So be bold and brave and tell him to go!
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