I'm a suicidal teenage alcoholic who is single, lonely, and
Question Posted Monday October 23 2006, 4:47 am
I'm a teenage . Recently I have discovered that life isn't worth living unless you have love in your life. By love, I mean a significant other. I'm an artistic type of person who actually NEEDS a significant other to complete them. I'm dying without love, and since last week I have turned to alcohol to solve my problems. I have WAY TOO MUCH stress from school and work (i'm a stage actress so work for me is rehearsal) and dance classes. When I feel depressed and suicidal and I can't take this world anymore- I drink red wine. It's a bottle that I have taken from my parents. I only drink 2-3 SIPS (not DRINKS) every day... But today I had double that amount because I felt crappy from my hangover.
I feel like an alcoholic because I can't function if I haven't had my alcohol. I need to know if I've become an alcoholic or not.
And how can I survive without love? My libido is so high I could die. And ion isn't enough for me anymore. Oh, and don't tell me that "the time will come" or anything like that, or that "I'm too young". Because I'm not. I'm mature enough physically and emotionally to handle a serious relationship with another human being.
I am friendless and sick of being shunned by everyone I know.
I don't believe in God. I'm an atheist but i was raised a catholic.
Additional info, added Tuesday October 24 2006, 11:36 pm: By reading this you probably assume that I'm just some 12-year-old girl who wishes she had a "boyfriend". Well actually I'm not. I've completely passed puberty and I've stopped growing, developing, maturing, etc. Another thing that has kept me depressed my whole life is: being overweight. Ever since I turned twelve I had a lot of hormonal problems which resulted in unsafe weight gain. (120-155 in about 2 months and then a while later i went from 155-180 in the same amount of time but now im back to 167.)
I cry every single day of my life at least once. Oh, and I'm sick of trying to make "smalltalk" with bitches who are embarassed to be around me. People are afraid of me because I have an extremely strange sense of humor- when I think of something that was funny I do this weird snickering type of thing where my face turns red and I try to cover my mouth and turn my head away.
Another thing: I don't give a DAMN about trying to be "preppy" or "cool" or "popular" or anything. You know WHY? Because I'M a mature person who is sick of seeing my peers (I'm 14 but i'm sure you never would have guessed) walking around talking about clothes. I'm sick of fighting back tears and being upset about everything and having my soul be so lonely that I could die of depression.
The most alarming thing that sounds out to me is the drinking. I think you're on the verge of becoming an alcoholic because you're letting alcohol control you and you're using to block out you're problems.
I think what you need to do first and foremost is go see your GP. You may have a medical sort of depression, i.e. hormone imbalance, which could be solved. Secondly, cut out the drink! Go to a support group. Thirdly, start networking and joining clubs or the gym to start making friends. You ended with saying you're friendless, which I feel is more important than having a boyfriend/girlfriend...as the saying goes, they come and go but friend sare for life.
I think, once you start making friends, you will not feel so empty and depressed and you'll realise that life is worth living. I know it's easier said than done, but everyone has the ability to make friends. It's just about finding the right friends! DO some hobbies, you're more likely to find friends outside of school who have similar interests to you than within school.
Once you get some friends, you'll start feeling more positivie about life. This positivity will start showing to others and will consequently make you more attractive to the opposite sex! Guys like girls with confidence and a positive outlook. If you're down, you'll reflect that in your expressions.
Also, try this exercise, list one or two things everyday that you like about yourself. I know that may seem hard but you WILL find something you like. It may be a physical attribute, i.e. your eyes, something in your perosnality, or even something good you did. If you make this a regular daily thing, before you know it, you're giving yourself confidence and realising the world isn't so bad after all!
Additionally, this may seem silly but you'll be surprised...make sure you are eating healthily and have a balanced diet! Studies show that eating the wrong foods canmake you prone to depression and put your hormones out of whack.
Fresh fruit, veg, nuts, seeds and even chocolate are great for making you happy...they have endorphines!
Also, have a lot of oily fish, or have omega 3 capsules...again it boosts your morale and your brain activity.
Finally, just ry everything you can and get all the help you can get because, whether you believe in God or not, your life like all human lift is precious and a gift. You have to realise that you were put on this earth for a reason. Your hear to live your life and we're all only here for a short time, not forever, so make the most of it! You deserve to be here just as much as anyone else! So please, don't be suicidal, get the help you need and start looking forward to a new and better you! [ hotshot_honey's advice column | Ask hotshot_honey A Question ]
BitsandPieces answered Monday October 23 2006, 5:01 pm: Part of immaturity is wanting what you want right now. We all have to endure the stress and pain of waiting for good things or the work and effort of making them happen. The reason you are so desperate for a significant other is that you are incredibly lonely and overstressed. You have already learned that alcohol is a temporary fix, that leads to more emptiness and crappy hangovers. You need to find a safe place and someone to listen to you. Alcohol is not that place and does not care about you. No one thrives without love, but no one feels loved all the time, even WITH the love of their life. If you were mature enough to handle a serious relationship, then you would not be desperate for one. It is a pity that when we are so in need, we are the least likely to get what we want. The hole you feel cannot be filled with another human being, but you still have the false hope it can, because you are inexperienced. If you learn to give yourself the love, respect and attention that you deserve, then you will truly be prepared and open to a serious relationship and a healthy one at that. Two broken clingy souls will often try to consume one another in an attempt at some wholeness, but quickly discover that two halves do not a whole make. Love is not math, it is magic. Love does not make sense and we cannot grasp it...that is why it is so rarely realized and too often misunderstood or overgeneralized by romantic media. Love will not be attracted to you until you love yourself first. A light can pierce the darkness, but can never fill it. Light has to radiate from within you. Don't confuse the hormonal needs of the libido with true love. If you just want to get off, you don't need a lover...so learn to umm...love yourself in that area, too. You are not too young, to have great needs and feelings, just know that you will not be destroyed by your angst and frustration. You have the power to take control of all areas of your life. Start tuning in to your own voice instead of drowning it out with drink. Start expressing yourself in all areas of your life and be heard!!! [ BitsandPieces's advice column | Ask BitsandPieces A Question ]
listening79mouth answered Monday October 23 2006, 6:30 am: don't you know that love is everywhere? i mean there's your family.. and to be able to find love you must be friendly. be sociable. for me this is a solution to your prob. adjust socially. or meet friends in the net. then appoint a date with him.
one thing too, drinking alcohol is not a help to your problem so stop it. make yourself busy like go to gym then window shop or sleep... [ listening79mouth's advice column | Ask listening79mouth A Question ]
rainbowcherrie answered Monday October 23 2006, 6:27 am: I think you need to get up and join the real world. I doubt you will like what I have to say but it's true.
You are a TEENAGER and you're saying you can't live without love? People would probably call me an 'artistic type' and yes, I'd probably quite like a boyfriend but I don't NEED a significant other in order to function, no one does, including you. You have to get out of this mindset you have that life isn't worth living without a lover, because to be honest I'm sure a lot of people would be quite offended by that as a large percentage are single and get along just fine. Once you start to realise that you can enjoy life without romantic relationships then you'll probably end up finding one.
I don't think you're an alcoholic. 2-3 sips a day is hardly a drink problem, but I suggest you stop now before it eventually develops into one. Focus on your acting and your dancing for now, you say you're artistic so maybe you could try doing some artwork when you feel the need to drink.
I know you think you are, but based on your attitude, I don't think you are physically and emotionally mature enough for a relationship. By saying that you can't live without one, you are proving that.
I suggest you forget about everything for a while and just focus solely on your schoolwork, your dancing and your acting. You say that you are shunned by everyone you know, so I'm not sure on what your situation is with your friends but maybe you should try and make new ones. Chat to people in your dance classes or rehearsals, I understand that it's probably not appropriate to do so during a lesson/rehearsal but why not get talking to people at the end? Ask if they'd like to do something afterwards etc.
Instead of giving me a low rating and replying to this advice by saying 'You don't know me, my life is over', why not try following it and making an effort to improve things for yourself? [ rainbowcherrie's advice column | Ask rainbowcherrie A Question ]
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