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I think she doesn't respect me
Male 26
Lately, it feels like my girlfriend is constantly saying hurtful and/or disrespectful things to/about me. And I can't tell if she's oblivious or not about how it affects me.
How do I make it clear that I still love her, but that what she says affects me a lot.
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Tell her you love her but make it clear that when she says hurtful things it makes you feel like you're not important to her and that you're feelings aren't being taken into consideration. Just be honest about how you feel. If she still doesn't understand it maybe you two should take a break from each other. You can't have a relationship without understanding and compromise.
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Say exactly what you just said, but ask if shes aware of the things shes saying. Than you can discuss it, and explain that you still love her. Maybe shes having a hard time with something and is taking it out on you without realising. You'll never no till you sit her down and talk it out.
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I dont really know your situation, but it sounds like she knows what she is doing, by your age alone, I know you are both adults and it probably her usual method of operation most alpha personalities have.
Here's some things to keep in mind...
Does she ever cut you down when you are happy about something?
Does she ever talk about your clothes, friends, or anything else on a semi regular basis?
Can you seem to do no right?
You could be dealing with someone who has personal esteem issues and doesn't want their partner to have it better off than them.
So you have a choice... personalities DONT change. Don't bother to change hers...
If you decide to stay (Ive done this with a few relationships before), learn to defuse the situation. Agree with her... (Yes honey, this shirt is ugly, but at least you know no one else will snag me up tonight, I'm all yours! Why dont you pick one out from this stack?)It's hard to fight with someone who agrees with you. Whatever you do, never let her know which comments hurt, because she will certainly bring out the big guns in a big argument.
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I would talk to her and see what is going on. Maybe you have offended her in some kind of way and she feels like she needs to get back at you for it. I would just straight up ask her why she is acting this way and that it is affecting you. Hope this helps! Good luck!
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I'm not really sure what kind of change in heart has resulted in her treating you like this. I can say though that if she never said these things before, and it just sort of cropped up, then there is a definite change in heart.
You need to talk to her and find out what it is that is going through her head.
Obviously, something is wrong if she's doing this continuously.
You need to ask her if you've done something to offend her or if her feelings have changed towards you because it does seem that if someone says mean things to you there is no way that they don't know what they're doing. Mean things are mean things no matter what or who says them.
Good luck talking to her. I hope everything works out for you!!
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I believe in being vocal about every issue that comes into my way or any pressing subject for that matter. Open up to her. Let her know about how you feel. You said lately she's been, well, we could say, being a "jerk" coz she's being insensitive of how/what you feel. It means she was not like that before. Maybe there's something that is troubling her. Or perhaps she has so many things happening in her life right now that got out of control. Or could be she's finding a way to break up with you and she wants it to come from you by being extremely upset with her that's why she's saying all those spiteful stuff. Who knows? The point is to discuss it with her. Always keep the gate of communication open. But always remember to do it diplomatically. Only in that way you would be able to truly understand what you both feel inside.
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Say the things back to her. When she says something hurtful, wait about five minutes and say it to her in different words. When she gets upset, or hurt, tell her that is exactly how you feel when she says it to you. Alot of girls think guys aren't sensitive to that kind of stuff, so they feel as if they can say anything they want. Let her know that you are not a robot, and when she says mean things it hurts you. Also, most of the time a person will put down their boyfriend or girlfriend because they have a low self esteem, and they are trying to bring you down because they don't want you to feel good about yourself or else you might realize you are too good and leave. If your girlfriend does have a low esteem and she is saying things to bring you down, let her know that you get her game, and you're not down with it. Turn it around and tell her that she obviously doesn't think you are good enough for her, and if she wants to break up, she should just say so instead of hurting you all of the time. Don't be her punching bag.
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