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To stay or not to stay...
"If you have it [ Love ], you don't need to have anything else, and if you don't have it, It doesn't matter much what else you have...",,,or so the saying goes. You see, I am in this relationship with a different nationality and religion as I am. We are both currently in a country where we are both expatriates. We've been together for more than one (1) year now. We both love each other, we have the normal quarrels that couples have. But deep in our hearts we love each other. We're like bestfriends where we can share each other anything, be there for each other no matter what. We have shared laughter and tears. But the thing is we both know that as soon as our visa expires and we are to go back to our respective countries, that would be the end of it. We both know it, its inevitable. It was hard for me to accept it before, until now actually, but slowly I have come to accept our situation. Thinking about our "doomed fate" made me feel a real gets-inside-you-and-rips-you-apart pain. Some of you might say, "then why the heck are you still in the relationship?!?". The truth? I don't know. I guess its something you can call L-O-V-E? Pretty stupid and lame huh? Or it could be I'm scared to be alone in a foreign country where you cannot trust everyone that you meet. Or perhaps because of the special bond I share with this wonderful guy. Deep inside I know I should let go before I fall too deep-in-love and later I won't be able to recover from the excruciating ache and grief...
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Hi,
Well you didn't exactly ask a question, but I can see your situation.
Your visas expire, and you go home. The end, right? WHAT THE HELL? WHY? GOING HOME ISN'T THE END! Just because you go home it doesn't mean you stop loving someone, so why should it mean you stop fighting to be with them?
Why can't you apply for a visa to go to his country, or him to come to yours? Life doesn't end when you go back home. Why are you both in the foreigner country to begin with? Is there a chance you can both get visas to go back to the country again in half a year, or a year?
If you love someone, and you don't want to be separated from them, you can marry them. Countries usually offer permanent visas to expatriate partners.
-K
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I'm feeling particularly nice to cupid today, so instead of the typical move on speech, I will say this...
Stay.
You two have shared a bond being strangers in a strange land, you have a connection that others dont in that country.
If you think you are in LOVE, then never underestimate it. Love starts and ends wars, it makes top 40 songs, and it could just last over half a world away.
You're lucky. You live in an age where computers can make it possible to communicate everyday, who knows where you two will be in 5 years if it is meant to happen?
And never underestimate the power of the human spirit. It may suck to be parted from your partner, but ache and grief can be tools to make sure you are reunited even sooner.
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Yeah, you could get out of it before you both have to leave, but what will that be saving you from? So you won't have the sad goodbye at the end, but you will still feel the pain of losing him, and then after it is too late, you will spend a lot of time wondering what could have been. Breaking up now isn't going to save you from all of the pain, it is only going to let you feel like you were able to control things. If you stay together until it is time to part, you won't have control of the situation, where as if you break up now, you will. I say, if you love eachother, continue the realtionship for as long as you can-even after you both go back to your countries you can talk on the phone, email, whatever. If you break up now the future is certain, if you stay together who knows what will happen?
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