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Over my head relationship
(I'm 16 female and the boy's 17)
So during the summer, I met this boy who was everything I ever wanted. We both did the same activities, we watched the same tv shows, we both thought the same things were funny. Plus he was probably the sweetest guy I've ever met, he's so nice. He was perfect for me and I was so amazed that I found him. So he asked me out when school started and from then till probably late November, things couldn't have gotten better. We were in love, we lost our virginity to each other and it was just so amazing being with him, he meant everything to me.
So here's the bad part, he lives probably like 30 minutes away from me and he is the busiest boy ever. His schedule is so jam-packed, it's like he's a business man, not a high school student. And during early December, it started getting really rough. He would get up do homework go to school go to rehearsal (we're both theater people), go to another rehearsal, get back at like 10, do homework and then he was just so tired that he would fall asleep after that. He never answered his phone. He only called me once per day and it was in between car rides. And our conversations would last 5 minutes. I had to drop whatever I was doing when he called me because I knew that's the only phone call I would get. And he was texting me less and less.
So I started confronting him about it. I didn't want to because I know it's not his fault that his schedule is so busy, that's just his life but I mean I had to tell him what was on my mind. I told him that I felt like we were drifting apart, and I didn't want to because I loved him. I told him that i know he was busy but if he could please spare like one weekend where maybe I could drive up and see him. And then he would get defensive that I was blaming him for something that wasn't his fault, but I really didn't mean for it to be that way, I just really badly wanted to see him or talk to him for maybe more than 10 minutes. It felt like I had to take a number to tell him about my day or something. It felt like I was just apart of his busy schedule and not a priority in his life.
It was getting worse and worse because our conversations were becoming less happy and goofy like they always were. One time we were on the phone and I said "I love you." and then he said "Aw thank you!" Thank you?! After that, I knew we were heading downhill.
So, a couple of days ago he broke up with me because he said that he didn't have time for me and I deserved someone who would have time to be with me. I knew the break up was coming, but I didn't want it to. I loved him, and I still do. I told him, how can you break up with me if you love me? And do you know what he said? He said I love you like a best friend. WHAT?! When did that happen? What did I do that made your love for me disappear?! That hurt my feelings so bad, I can still hear it in my head. Anyways, he said that he really liked talking to me and that he wants to keep in touch with me like call me every once in awhile to see how I am. And I said no, I can't do that. How can I become buddy buddy with someone who I feel more than buddy buddy with? I hate it that we're not talking now but I feel that's it's the best choice for me to get over him.
So now that you guys know the WHOLE story, what comments/advice do you have for me? Please I need help because I'm so confused. Do you think I made the right choice?
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Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
I'm so sorry that this love had to end so suddenly for you. But honestly, I think that you deserve more than a guy who is too busy for you. The worst part about breaking up is that it makes life seem empty somehow. It feels like you lost a part of you because in a way you did, because so much of you was invested in the long term relationship. I know that it probably won't feel so great now, but soon you will start to feel really good again. It's really good that you've decided to get over him and move on because there is no use in holding on to something that you have no control over. Anyways, I wish you luck and you seem like a very mature person for your age, so you'll be back on your feet in no time. <3
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it sound like it was an match in heavan, that went to hell when ( a new girl came along), that how i see it , he didn't want to spend time with you ,he call every blue moon, and the break up line let's be friends not lovers i have an 17 year old daughter and she just went through the same thing but a little differeny her boyfriend broke up with her at prom last year, so believe me when i tell you ( LET IT GO, HIS LOST), take you and hot bubble bath and drink you some grape juice in an flute glass and imagine an circle of candles and take an deep breathe and 9IT IS SOOO OVER) and you will feel better and ready to hit the mall and find someone else.
you will be alright
keep it real
Ask Shay
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I think you guys would be better broken up because it sounds like he was always so busy and didn't have time for his own girlfriend. You being single is better than constantly being mad/sad over someone you can't see or talk to much because of his busy schedule. It actually sounds like this guy was rude to you, not treating you like you should be treated. Boyfriends are supposed to call and talk to you and HANG OUT with you. They should make time for this, if they want to maintain having a girlfriend. Otherwise, what's the point in going out, ya know? When you said, "I love you." and he didn't say anything except "aww, thank you!" That is a very rude boyfriend and YOU don't deserve him. I know you still love him and i know it's hard because you dated so long and you got used to him and etc... But the only thing i think you can do is try to get over him (time and other distactions help) and maybe when you're done with him, find some other guy that WILL have time for you and treat you like a princess. Hope this helps! Good luck!
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Wow, I feel for you. I totally agree with your decision. The less you have to remember him by talking to him, the quicker you'll get over him :) This guy seems to have put his busy schedule before the ones he loves and he was right when he said that you didn't deserve that kind of treatment. I think this break up was for the best. After a while, when you've gotten over him, it's ok to gradually begin talking to him again, but this will take some self discipline to keep from falling for him again. If you don't think you can be "just friends" with him, then don't try it. You'll just fall hard again and he won't be there to catch you...again. I hope I helped!
-Jessica 14/f
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hey!
wow i know exactly how you feel for real.okay loosing your virginity is something special you'll always look at him different he has something that no one in the world can ever have.and your hearts braking with out him.but you probably did make the best decision.maybe just be his friend.and be there for him when he needs you.dont call him.text him.or nothing let him come to you.show him that he doesnt phase you.live your life to the fullest and in time hell probably come back to you.and you may have moved on or you may want him.but dont be sad over someone who doesnt want you.lifes too short.
-hope i helped.
sarah.
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