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Q: I'm not really skinny, I promise, its just everyday I have the same thing over and over and I will not change my routine. I think I tend to eat less because I'm a busy person, eating feels like a chore so I eat things that are really quick to eat. This is my diet:
Breakfast- 1yogurt + drink
Lunch- 1apple + water
Dinner- homecooked meal with the family

Is this a healthy diet?

Um, not really. If anything, you should be eating small meals 5-6 times a day to keep your energy up and your body going.

Anorexia is a mental disorder that often stems from issues of control, and is often paired with body dysmorphia - that is, you look in the mirror and actually see yourself as much larger than you are. So if you don't think you're fat, and your goal is not to be a skeleton, then anorexia is not the correct name for your issue.

However.
I know how you feel, and I often fall into the same habit of just barely eating enough to keep myself going, but you have to keep in mind that, much like a car, your body is a machine, and food is its fuel, in various forms. That being said, I can't imagine (unless your homecooked dinner is very high in calories) you're getting anywhere near the normal 2000 calories you should be, provided you're not trying to lose weight. Even a person trying to lose weight should typically not dip below 1200 calories, as I recall.

http://www.freedieting.com/tools/calorie_calculator.htm

Q: I'm 24/F and my boyfriend of almost 3 years recently broke up with me. It was a very tumultuous relationship, but we had some amazing times & I truly loved him. I'm trying to move on, even though it's only been a couple months. My heart is still broken, and I'm finding it difficult to not think about him constantly. I've just never had this kind of heartbreak before, so I'm stuck in denial a bit, mixed with a lot of anger towards my ex. I feel like he just gave up on us, and I was willing to work things out. To add more to my misery, all my friends are settling down - moving in together with bfs, getting engaged, etc. I thought I was next for that, but obviously not anymore. It's hard talking to them about it because they can't relate. I feel immense pressure and in a way, have that "I'll never be with anyone again!" mentality. Also, readjusting to single life is horrible! What are some ways to move on & get out there again? I'm sick of my pity party. Are there any suggestions others have used to get over someone that worked?

I'm 24/f, too. I definitely hear ya, with that "everyone's getting married/moving in together, etc." thing. Plus, my entire facebook feed is full of babies... I also remember having that "I'll never be with anyone again" mentality, but for me it was following a very abusive relationship and coupled with a terror of falling into the same trap again, as well as fear of heartbreak.

Anyway. The thing about any breakup is that it's a loss - even if you stay friends, or it's a mutual breakup, you still have to grieve the loss of that closeness, that intimacy that you had with him. You were together for three years; it's only been a couple months. Grieving any loss has stages:
1. Denial
2. Sadness/Depression/Defeatedness
3. Anger
4. Bargaining ("maybe if I'd been a better girlfriend, things would be different, etc...")
5. Acceptance

These stages are not linear, though the first and last usually come at those points, and you'll probably cycle through 2, 3, and 4 a few times before you're okay and can TRULY accept the way things are.

You're not gonna want to hear this, but what worked the best for me was time, and allowing myself to feel.
If you like to write, grab a blank journal and freewrite (or hell, open up a word processor on your computer and type) away about everything going through your mind. Draw them, if that helps. Whatever helps you express yourself. There's no need to bottle up these feelings.
It's okay to be sad. It's okay to wish it was all a dream. It's fine to hate him. It's even okay to feel none of this stuff - you may be numb for awhile. Don't push yourself to get out there and go on dates or whatever if you're not ready. If you're ready, by all means go for it.
For now, surround yourself with friends and family. Even if they can't completely relate, they can sympathize and help make you feel better. Have girls' nights, go window shopping, play with fuzzy animals at the humane society - anything that will put a smile on your face, even for a little while, will help, because it'll remind you that you still CAN smile, even without him. Eventually, that smile will come more naturally.

I was furious with myself when months after leaving the bastard, I realized I still missed and loved him. Of course, it wasn't him I loved, though, it was the idea of him, of settling down, living in a house, having a family that I wanted, and I certainly didn't need to settle for someone's hand around my throat to have that. Eventually, I came to accept that we would never be together again, that he wasn't the one, and slowly started to rediscover and turn back into myself. But I needed that pity party and the time to grieve the loss.

Take this time to rediscover yourself. Do things you enjoy, have some you time. Enjoy your freedom from the wrong guy. The right one will come along soon enough. Have some patience with yourself.
Good luck. :)

Siren

Q: I have been with my bf for 3 years. When I met him he was very depressed & not mentally all there so i guided him through the hard times he had & he turned out amazing. Now its been 3 years and a couple of months ago he started to slap & rip my hair when he gets mad! I said I am not going to accept this & left then helped him seek help about his problem. When I began to see improvements in his behaviour I stupidly forgave him & come running back. Now he close fist hits me & I have had enough. Each time I try to walk out the door he gets more mental coz he knos I am the one who helps him. But I dont understand why I have to get a fist to the face when I havent done anything wrong. Should I stay & help him through this like I have been or forget him & move on?? I love him & I kno he has potential to improve its just the waiting & anything can happen from here on end. HELP PLEASE :(

I agree with NinjaNeer and Adviceman, and here are my two cents:
Out. Get out now. Not being "mentally all there," as you put it, is not an excuse for subjecting your significant other to violence. You've even called him abusive, so the euphemisms are off. He's a batterer and you're his victim - sorry, but you don't get the title of "Survivor" until you get away from him for real and for good.

From the way you described it, every time you come back, the abuse gets worse. He's already hitting you with a closed first - what's he gonna do next? Grab a knife because the fist-to-face thing isn't effective anymore? Do you really want to wind up in the hospital because your abusive boyfriend is beating you harder and harder?
I'm gonna be a nerd here for a second - I'm actually studying intimate partner violence/domestic violence from a behaviorist psychological perspective. Did you know that somewhere around 2 million women are reportedly abused by their significant others per year? Two MILLION. Even more of them don't report the abuse, and wind up hospitalized - or killed, even accidentally. Batterers like your boyfriend can lose control at the drop of a hat and accidentally do some serious damage to their victim.
Going with a theory I have, he fits the ICD typology described here:
http://drisisrene.hubpages.com/hub/Opposite-Ends-of-the-Spectrum

Anyway. You DON'T have to get a fist to the face for doing nothing wrong. No, DO NOT stay and help him through this. You've done enough. The rest is up to him, and having you there to punch when he gets frustrated, or for whatever reason, will not help him. He could do CBT and get treatment for it, but you need to get away from him first.
He's dangerous; this is no joke, and as far as I'm concerned, not worth your time until and unless he FINISHES a treatment program. Sure, they all have potential to improve, but they have to make the decision to change for real, for themselves, not because of a significant other.

In short, leave him. You should NEVER stay with someone who hurts you. Ever. Be strong; make the right decision; be safe.

Siren

Q: First of all id just like to say this is more of a statement than a question and for that i apologise i just thought that somebody should hear what im thinking before i die. Im male, 21 years old from the uk and ive finally given up on life.
Ive been trawling the net for days trying to find reasons why i shouldnt kill my self and i just can't think of any, ive felt dead for years, i know its selfish but i dont see any other way.

IT all goes back 11 years when i found out my biological father was a peodophile, what a way to fuck a kids head up, i dont blame my mom for telling me, she got advice from many different people and authorities and was told that it was best to tell me. since then i was never the same i took to stealing and lying, smoking pot and generaly being a prick. i have stolen from my mother so many times ive lost count, ripping her pubs of for £1000's at a time and everytime she has let me back, well i did it again just recently trying to stay out of my own head i picked up an old habit for cocaine and in 2 short weeks of running a pub for her have ripped it off for £900, she and her bloke are in debt up to there eyeballs already and now with this they both might lose there home and job(another pub) i know that im well and truely broken, i should have a seen a shrink years ago but always refused and ive recently come to realise that the drugs the stealing it was always running from the real issues ive left bottled up. It will probably destroy my mom when i kill myself tonight but i figure if i do it im only going to hurt her this 1 last time,
the real question here is do you think she and my little brother will ever forgive me?

Okay, here's my deal: I'm agnostic, so I won't tell you you have no right to return God's gift. I'm unemployed for no good reason; I'm not going to tell you to stop being a bum and get a job - it's just not that simple.

Let me give you a little background on me:
I'm 24 and from America. I was laid off from a job I loved indescribably three days before Christmas. I'm about to graduate with a psychology BA with no way to fund further schooling without some really good luck. The last guy I dated physically abused me, and I now have chronic neck pain. I also have crohn's disease, which I will never be free of, exercise induced asthma, and a loving, needy cat to care for.
Just to make a point, there's a lot of bad shit in my life that I can't get away from, ever - I made the decision, though, to use my experiences as knowledge and help as many people as I could. I'm not going to tell you I've felt the way you do, because I'm a stubborn, hardheaded bitch. Nothing could ever make me give up and prevent me from all the good I can still do for other people.

The net, in general, isn't going to find you a reason not to go kill yourself. The only person who can make that decision is you - but here's the thing: Why would you? I read what you wrote, and you're a step ahead of most drug addicts who can't and won't admit they have a problem. You've admitted that you do, and that you feel like you're running away from your real problems. You don't have to do drugs, or kill yourself to escape - you need a therapist, and maybe a psychiatrist. Someone to help you face your problems head on like the strong guy I know you want to be, and someone to help you understand that you are nowhere near having no way out.

If you care about your mom and brother, sit them down and tell them what you told us. You seem to be an intelligent person, regardless of the choice you think you've made, so I can only assume that you do actually know that getting rid of yourself is not a way to save them pain and suffering. It would only cause them more. Put yourself in their shoes for a minute.

Your younger brother won't be able to look up to you anymore - all he'll know is that you killed yourself and left him alone. I don't know if you have the same father, but if you do, he'll have no one to understand him. He needs you to commiserate with him when he's old enough to learn what his father is. I could only WISH that I had an older sister to help me through life. Don't take that away from your brother.
Your mother - you already said it would destroy her. You obviously care a lot about her. Do you really want to put her through such misery and pain? Through wondering if she could've been a better mom, if she did the wrong thing, if she could've saved her first born son? You're special to her, even with the "transgressions" you've described above she hasn't disowned you, or whatever.
My response may be a little late, but please, please reconsider. You are not past the point of no return in life. There are still people who love you and need you, and at least one stranger who's willing to spend an hour of her time writing to you in hopes that you won't go through with it. You can turn this around; you just got a little lost on your path, and there's no shame in that.
Please take the initiative and take a step toward fixing this situation.
Best of luck. Please be strong.

Siren

Q: I am a female, in my 20's, married, and work in a male-dominated profession. My job requires quite a bit of travel, and sometimes the jobs have long hours and are physically intense. This often leads to the crew having a few drinks at the end of the day. My husband has an extreme jealousy streak, and recently told me of all the men I work with, he is most jealous of my immediate supervisor. He (hubby) knows I love him, and he trusts me, but he doesn't trust the guys I work with. The last job, just myself and my supervisor were on the crew. After a few beers, we were calling it a night and heading to our respective rooms. My supervisor then asked me if he could kiss me! Shocked - I said NO and went straight to my room. I called my husband to tell him goodnight (like I always do), but I did not tell him what happened. The next morning my supervisor apologized, and we finished up the job, over the next few days, without any afterwork beers. I don't want to do jobs alone with my supervisor again. I don't want to go above his head and tell someone higher up what happened for fear they might make me file a sexual harassment claim.

How do I go about making sure we don't get scheduled alone together on a job again? Should I tell my husband what happened, and risk him wanting me to quit my job (or worse, alter my carrer plans in this very hard worked for and difficult to break into profession to something less male-dominated)?

Please Adivse!

I'm with Razhie.

I realize your question is regarding your supervisor, not your husband, but both of these men are problematic.

I'll address your supervisor first: What he did in asking to kiss you was completely out of line, especially, I'm sure, knowing you were married. It's good that you said no, and good that he apologized. I don't think you necessarily have to go above his head and file a sexual harassment claim if you don't feel that it will be a problem again, or that it needs to be reported. I also encourage you to speak directly with your supervisor and let him know that what he did made you uncomfortable - ask him directly to add another person to your team, or if you're comfortable saying so, that you'd rather not work alone with him again. If he does not take your request seriously, or ignores it, then you have absolutely every right to go above his head and talk to someone who will listen to you.

Now to address your husband's behavior. No. Don't tell your husband, if there will be any consequences to your job. He doesn't need to know every detail of what happens at work, especially if his response will be to try to get you to quit, or change your career plans in any way.

Take a look at this: http://www.uic.edu/depts/owa/power_control-wheel.html

If any of this behavior sounds familiar, start watching for more, or other kinds. Do NOT show him this image, even as a way to convince him that what he's doing or the way he's acting is wrong. If you do, he may choose more damaging, more subtle, more insidious methods of gaining control over you.
To put things in perspective, I were in your shoes with my current boyfriend, first, I wouldn't hesitate to tell him what happened - there would be no "consequences." Second, if I were to tell him what happened, his first concern would be that I would be stressed out by the events. He would also probably amazed at how unprofessional my supervisor was. As soon as he made sure I was okay, he'd probably find humor in the situation, and even say something like "I can't blame him, you're fun to kiss." He would say nothing about my job, or wanting me to quit, let alone change my very hard worked for and difficult to break into profession.
^ This is the response of someone secure and kind and loving.

If I were in your shoes with the last guy I dated, who was emotionally abusive, controlling and jealous, and then later physically abusive, I would be terrified to tell him for exactly the same reasons you are. If I told HIM what happened, he'd immediately fight with me about it, obsess over it, distrust me, distrust everyone I worked with, and eventually tell me that the only way he'd be happy would be for me to quit that job (and probably go into a different field. I'm going into psychology; you can imagine he didn't like that). I did actually wind up losing a job because of him. I almost deleted my advice column (I've been here since 2004) because of him, and it's only because of DangerNerd, an awesome site admin, that I didn't.
^This is the response of someone insecure, controlling, and abusive.

I know every situation is different, but do you see similarities? Your significant other has absolutely no right to control your career plans. The only person who does is you.

By the way, emotional abuse and controlling, manipulative behavior is just as dangerous as physical abuse. NONE of it is okay. I have firsthand experience with all of it. If you have any questions, feel free to contact me. There's a reason we're called survivors.
If I don't hear from you again, I hope you open your eyes, I hope you're strong, and I hope you stick to your career plans.
Good luck.

Siren

Q: He wasn't my crush until this random dream I had of him. I was in front of my school picking bark off a tree stump and he joined me and said, "I can help you, you just have to keep going." That was like the highlight of the dream. Then he asked me out on a date and we went on the best date ever to this really awesome store. After that I started paying more attention to him and realized, I kinda like him! Then a week or so later, another dream of him giving me advice for a game we were playing in pe happened. The next day my friend randomly told this guy I liked him and she had no clue that I actually do. It's like everything in the universe is pushing me to him but I think he is annoyed by my friend right now. What does all of this mean? What should I do? Thanks!

Everything happens for a reason, right?
Heh. I had a very similar experience - I wasn't interested in a guy until I had a dream in which we kissed, and then all of a sudden it was like I HAD to know what it was like. Eventually I did, but that relationship ended on... uh, bad terms, to say the least.
Anyway. What d'you have to lose? Sounds like these dreams are your subconscious pushing the issue of you liking this guy into your conscious mind. Let him be annoyed by your friend - if you really like him, tell him yourself. Or, if you're not comfortable being that direct, ask him if he wants to hang out sometime. Invite him to do something specific, like grab some coffee with you, or something where you two can talk. "We should meet up at Starbucks this weekend. I have a huge craving for a Frappuccino!"
I'm not sure how old you are, but guys at almost any age are relieved when they don't have to make the first move. :)
Good luck!

Siren

Q: I'm a cross country runner, and have been running for about a year now. I've been increasing my mileage since the end of the season, and I've been so happy with my results! I am a senior, and have been training for a division 3 college team for next fall. The problem is, though, my running has gotten so much worse this past week. Formerly I could run about 10 miles and my muscles wouldn't even feel sore! But the other day when I went to the track for speed work, I could barely finish a mile. I have no idea what happened! I'm pretty devastated, though. I'm not recovering from injuries or anything. I do have two theories: I haven't eaten meat in like a month, so maybe I'm lacking protein? I also haven't gotten more than 4hours of sleep in a long time but I don't think that's the cause because it's always been that way. A few other things I should mention are that I'm accustomed to training hard and 5 times a week. The reason I don't think it's lack of protein that's the problem is because my cardio strength doesn't seem to be doing so well anymore either, but I have no health expert, protein may have something to do with that too! I ran just 3 miles the other day and it took everything out of me. I feel weak and tired all the time. I'm 18/f by the way. Any suggestions and help is appreciated.. thanks in advance!

I'm a runner and an insomniac, too. Here are my two cents, but please know that none of us are doctors here, I don't think. We're just speculating:

I do know this, though - you ABSOLUTELY need protein in your diet. Protein is what helps you build lean muscle. If you're not getting enough protein, your muscles will basically wind up using themselves for trying to build... and that just doesn't work. That's not to say that it has to be MEAT that you get your protein from; it could be anything, including protein powder supplements, but you NEED protein if you're getting that much exercise. You also need carbs, so don't skimp on those either.

Here's the other piece of it - sleep is when your body regenerates and heals. Personally, I've gotten by with crap sleep most of my life because I haven't had a choice, but sometimes it takes a toll on my body; I imagine it does yours, too.

Keep in mind that your heart is also a muscle. When you do cardio, that's what you're really exercising. Granted, your heart is an involuntary muscle in the sense that it's not something you can build, flex, or extend like your biceps, quads, or delts, but it IS something that can be strengthened and nourished.

If you're doing cross country, you're working your system pretty hard. PLEASE make sure you're getting the right kind of nutrition and supplying your body with the fuel it needs to function at the level you want it to. Try upping your protein intake - if meat isn't your thing, pick up a container of whey or soy protein at a supermarket (you don't have to get them from expensive sports nutrition stores, I promise), and drink at least one every day you train.

Just a note - We all have bad weeks sometimes. I've had the experience of barely being able to finish a mile all week, taking a couple days off, and being totally fine after that. The seasons are changing (at least where I am), and that's when people get sick.
It could be a virus. I'd advise you to try to make sure you're eating BALANCED meals that include mainly protein, veggies, fruits, complex carbs, and even some refined sugar if you want, and see if you feel/run better. If not, make a doctors' appointment. Can't hurt to get checked out. Mononucleosis, I believe, is one that presents most of the time with hypersomnia (sleeping too much), but in some odd cases it can cause insomnia instead (I think).
Treat your body like you'd treat your car - give it the right fuel, keep it tuned up, and take it in when there's a problem. :)
Best of luck to you.

Siren

Q: I'm 28 years old, female and from France.So, excuse the possible mistakes. My boyfriend of six months previously best friend is blowing hot and cold on me. One moment he is sweet, the next mean and making fun of me.Then telling me it was all joke.He also give me the silent treatment each time i don't do what he expects like if i'm busy with work and can't answer him right back. He seems depressed and has retreated from his social life. I want to help him but he refuses to talk.
I've been battling depression myself and feels so low each time he do this. Shoul i leave him?

Salut. :)
I'm 24, female and American, but I'd like to try to answer your question in French, if you don't mind. I'm a little rusty, but I used to be fluent. I'll include an English translation in case I write anything incorrectly.

Absolument, je pense que tu devrais quitter. S'il est "chaud et froid" comme ça, et il te donnerai le silence quand tu fais quelque chose qu'il n'aime pas, par manque des meilleurs mots, il essaie de vous former. Tu n'es pas un animal, et tu mérites mieux. Souffrent de dépression n'excuses pas ces actions. Ceux qui souffrent de dépression ont tendance à s'isoler, mais tu ne peux pas le forcer s'il n'est pas prêt de l'accepter - mais tu le saves déjà, si tu souffrer de dépression tu-même.
Il a clairement des problèmes dont il a besoin de fixer. Il agit comme un adolescent, jouer à ces jeux. Débarrasses-toi de lui et trouver quelqu'un qui vous apprécie.

Absolutely, I think you should leave. If he's "hot and cold" like this, and he gives you silence when you do things he doesn't like, for lack of better words, he's trying to train you. You are not an animal, and you deserve better. Suffering from depression doesn't excuses these actions. Those who suffer from depression tend to isolate themselves, but you can't force him to get help if he isn't ready to accept it - but you already know this, if you suffer from depression yourself.
He clearly has some problems he needs to work out. He is acting like a teenager, playing these games. Get rid of him and find someone who will appreciate you.

Siren

Q: Ok so now I'm 11 turning 12 in june and my boyfriend is 12 he wants to do sex with me and I think I'm 2 young but he says he'll brake up with me if I say no and I don't know what to do! Please help me!

Oh, no, no, no, no, no. Absolutely not.
You are both WAY too young. Sex should be something special, with someone you love, who loves you back.

If he's threatening you or intimidating you, or pressuring you to do something you're not ready for in ANY way, he doesn't love you, and he's not worth it. Give your virginity to a good man, not a 12-year old boy who just wants to get off and doesn't care about you.

If he says he'll break up with you if you say no, don't just say no, get rid of him. He's bad news.

Siren

Q: My boyfriend loves sex! I do to, don't get me wrong, but it's hard to enjoy it when it's so painful, and sadly my boyfriend loves the painful stuff. We did anal one time and I was practically screaming in pain and crying the moment it started. Not once, even when I was crying and trying to hold in the screams of pain did he stop or ask if I was alright. After that he promised he wouldn't put me through that again, but we've done it twice since then and it was the same everytime.
Then there's the "Blowjob"... I throw up every time. After he's finished I run to the bathroom to throw up what he's done to me, and he just watches me throw up from the bedroom like he's watching tv and my pain is nothing to him. I love him so so much but I don't want to have to be in pain to please him.

You DON'T have to be in pain to please him.
What you DO have to do is stand up for and take care of yourself. If he has no qualms about hurting you, then you need to keep your own well-being in mind and make sure he doesn't. That might mean you need to leave him.
There's a lot wrong with what's going on right now, but I'll start one line at a time, excluding the very first sentence.

"...it's hard to enjoy it when it's so painful, and sadly my boyfriend loves the painful stuff."

Pain in sex is NEVER okay unless it's your first few times, or you're into masochism (it turns some people on. I'm not one of them, and it doesn't sound like you are, either). That being said, some girls like anal, but the guy is gentle, and does NOT make them scream in pain. That's NOT okay.

"Not once, even when I was crying and trying to hold in the screams of pain did he stop or ask if I was alright."

He's made it pretty clear here that he doesn't give a shit if you enjoy yourself, much less if he's hurting you or upsetting you in any way. A guy who cared about you would notice you shaking/screaming/crying, immediately stop, and do everything he possibly could to make it okay and make you feel better and stop crying.

"After that he promised he wouldn't put me through that again, but we've done it twice since then and it was the same every time."

Okay, so, he hurt you, doesn't care (about you), and not only did he lie to you and break his promise, but he did the exact same thing and hurt you. Again. He didn't even try to make it better or apologize.

Are you starting to see a pattern here?

As far as blowjobs, I can't tell if you're making yourself throw up because you're uncomfortable swallowing, or you just have that involuntary reflex, but you don't HAVE to swallow. You can ask him to let you know when he's about to blow and move, or you can spit out the semen. If you're just not comfortable with blowjobs at all, then refuse. You have that right. If he doesn't like it, he can go to hell and find someone else to hurt and upset.

You are not his property. He does not own you, nor does he have the right to do as he pleases with you. You are not a sex toy. You are a person with feelings and emotions. People who love you don't act like he does.
Believe me, a guy like this is not worth it.

But, if he's willing to change his behavior and treat you like a person instead of a sex toy, fine. Just remember talk is cheap. He'll have to actually change his behavior, not just say he will. If he breaks that agreement, leave.
I know it's easier said than done, but think about this: Do you want to spend the rest of your life with a guy who treats you as badly as he has been?
Good luck. Be strong. Keep yourself safe and out of harm's way.

Siren

Q: So I have stopped doing drugs for two years now mainly because I noticed I was tearing my family apart and once I stopped I noticed I formed some anxiety or something maily social I think, I think it may been have been of the drugs because before that I was just fine confident had a good time now whenever there is company or I have to interact vocally with someone I become very panicy especially when I have to look them in the eyes. It's affected my last job and when I go to school it's horrible because i become very weird and akward. So what does this mean idk if I got this after I quit doing drugs but I never had it before. Can someone help me to over come this or know anything of this? If so thank you so much

**Disclaimer: Not a psychiatrist, not a doctor, not even a licensed psychologist - yet.

Yes, it's absolutely possible that whatever drugs you were on changed your brain on a chemical level.
It would be helpful, in order to give you more accurate information and advice, to know what drugs you were doing. Downers? Uppers? Alcohol? Anxiolytics? Opiates? Pot? Other hallucinogens?
In general, though, your best bet, if it's getting in the way of your school and your work, is to talk to a doctor. Even just a general physician can prescribe something to help you out; something that isn't habit forming, just for you to get a handle on this, that you can stop taking safely once you feel better.
If you're not comfortable with the idea of replacing drugs with other drugs, there are herbal supplements that you can add to your diet to help manage your anxiety.
It's also possible - just to throw it out there - that you were simply predisposed to anxiety, and the drugs caused it to come out. Drug use also, by the way, rarely occurs as a stand-alone issue. Often, it's a symptom. People use drugs to self-medicate for depression, or ADD/ADHD, for example, because they feel better - more normal - when they use.
Counseling might also help you explore the anxiety you feel. Maybe if you can discover the reason for the anxiety you'll be able to manage it.
Anyway, I'd love to go into more detail and give you a better idea of what's going on with you, but I need more information from you.

Specifically, it would be helpful to know:
* Which drugs were you taking?
* How did you stop taking them? Cold-turkey? Or tapered down?
* Was your family supportive in your quitting? What about your friends?
* Have you ever seen a counselor?
* Have you ever been evaluated for any other psychological or mental health issues?
* How old are you?

If you'd rather discuss this privately, feel free to send a message to my inbox on here - though I warn you that it will show up on my column as a question I've answered - or message me on AIM - my screen name is SirenCytherea. Just let me know you found me on this site.

However, if I don't hear back from you, take my suggestions with a grain of salt, but I wish you the best of luck, and healing. :)

Siren

Q: Why don't people realize this? Hear me out, to get the full scope of what I'm talking about. I can tell if you responded without actually reading what I wrote. I'm genuinely interested in your response, whether it's positive or negative. I thought for some time about this.

Because it's essentially saying that even if someone was the perfect guy for you; you shared common interests, he treated you very well, you found him very attractive, etc. he wouldn't even be an option, because of his race. There's nothing racist if someone happens to only date within their race because out of the people they've met, the ones they connect the best with are within their race. But to say that you only want to date within your race is racist, even if you have friends outside of your race, because it implies that even if you happened to connect with someone very well, you wouldn't think they're good enough for marriage, for a very shallow reason. And just because you haven't met someone outside of your race that you could really connect with doesn't mean that it could never happen.

It's racist to want to stay within your race to "make sure your kids look almost exactly like you" as it is to want to date outside of your race, to "make sure your kids look different from you". they're both just as racist, and superficial. People like this shouldn't even have kids, to pass on such stupid beliefs. If you love your daughter's blonde hair and blue eyes more than you love her personality, or the fact that she's your daughter and shares half your DNA, you have issues.

The whole "preserving bloodlines" thing is complete bull, too. There's no such thing as a "pure" race, as it's been scientifically proven that race doesn't even exist at all; it's just a social concept. It's a faulty social concept, because when you trace people's DNA, it spreads across various continents. And if people truly believed in the "one drop rule" then everyone in the world would be considered black, as humans are originally from Africa. we have different skin colors because of the different amounts of melanin in our skin; a very insignificant part of our DNA as a whole. racism was just created to give white males more power; that's it. for example, it was easy to justify enslaving blacks when you saw them as less than human, as someone of another "race". By the way, by saying this, I'm not saying that I have a grudge on all whites, or whatever. Nor am I saying that all whites were like that back then. I'm just saying historical truths.

It really boggles my mind why race is still an issue in society, especially American society. I understand why someone might be wary to date someone out of their culture, but race and culture are not always synonymous. Also, it's hypocritical for someone to use that to try and justify not dating outside of their race, and yet they may date a white person from Sweden, even though they are from Brazil, or they may date a black person from the Caribbean, even though they are from Australia. You may have grew up together in school with someone of a different race, but you're more likely have more in common with someone from another continent, because you're the same skin color! Am I the only one who sees how silly this is?

It's sad that interracial couples are often treated with disdain, in our society. They're no different from same-race couples, to be honest (granted they became a couple for non-superficial reasons). It just doesn't make any logical sense to me. people shouldn't feel ashamed or w/e, because they're doing nothing wrong

personally, I'm a black girl, but I've been attracted to various guys, of various ethnic backgrounds. I have no preference of the type of guy I marry, as long as he's good looking, we have similar interests and lifestyles, and we connect very well. isn't that how it's supposed to be?Because it's essentially saying that even if someone was the perfect guy for you; you shared common interests, he treated you very well, you found him very attractive, etc. he wouldn't even be an option, because of his race. There's nothing racist if someone happens to only date within their race because out of the people they've met, the ones they connect the best with are within their race. But to say that you only want to date within your race is racist, even if you have friends outside of your race, because it implies that even if you happened to connect with someone very well, you wouldn't think they're good enough for marriage, for a very shallow reason. And just because you haven't met someone outside of your race that you could really connect with doesn't mean that it could never happen.

It's racist to want to stay within your race to "make sure your kids look almost exactly like you" as it is to want to date outside of your race, to "make sure your kids look different from you". they're both just as racist, and superficial. People like this shouldn't even have kids, to pass on such stupid beliefs. If you love your daughter's blonde hair and blue eyes more than you love her personality, or the fact that she's your daughter and shares half your DNA, you have issues.

The whole "preserving bloodlines" thing is complete bull, too. There's no such thing as a "pure" race, as it's been scientifically proven that race doesn't even exist at all; it's just a social concept. It's a faulty social concept, because when you trace people's DNA, it spreads across various continents. And if people truly believed in the "one drop rule" then everyone in the world would be considered black, as humans are originally from Africa. we have different skin colors because of the different amounts of melanin in our skin; a very insignificant part of our DNA as a whole. racism was just created to give white males more power; that's it. for example, it was easy to justify enslaving blacks when you saw them as less than human, as someone of another "race". By the way, by saying this, I'm not saying that I have a grudge on all whites, or whatever. Nor am I saying that all whites were like that back then. I'm just saying historical truths.

It really boggles my mind why race is still an issue in society, especially American society. I understand why someone might be wary to date someone out of their culture, but race and culture are not always synonymous. Also, it's hypocritical for someone to use that to try and justify not dating outside of their race, and yet they may date a white person from Sweden, even though they are from Brazil, or they may date a black person from the Caribbean, even though they are from Australia. You may have grew up together in school with someone of a different race, but you're more likely have more in common with someone from another continent, because you're the same skin color! Am I the only one who sees how silly this is?

It's sad that interracial couples are often treated with disdain, in our society. They're no different from same-race couples, to be honest (granted they became a couple for non-superficial reasons). It just doesn't make any logical sense to me. people shouldn't feel ashamed or w/e, because they're doing nothing wrong

personally, I'm a black girl, but I've been attracted to various guys, of various ethnic backgrounds. I have no preference of the type of guy I marry, as long as he's good looking, we have similar interests and lifestyles, and we connect very well. isn't that how it's supposed to be?

Okay, a little bit of background on me - I'm 24, white, female, and Jewish (by blood, though I don't practice). I have never dated a Jewish guy. It's nothing against my birth-religion or an attempt to rebel; I simply haven't met a Jewish guy to whom I've been attracted. The majority of my boyfriends have actually been Catholic, and mixed-race of some sort. I've never dated an African-American guy, but it has nothing to do with the color of their skin. Again, I just haven't been attracted to anyone of that ethnicity.

I believe that my (and your) way of thinking about race and the guys we date has a lot to do with the way our parents raised us. My parents put absolutely zero emphasis on race and religion. They treated everyone exactly the same, so I did, too, and still do. Don't get me wrong, I've heard "You should marry a nice Jewish boy" from my mom (jokingly), but she accepts anyone to whom I introduce her, as does my father. Unfortunately, not everyone educates their children this way, and that's where we run into problems as a society.
No one should, however, have the ability to pick and choose who should or shouldn't have children. The offspring of racist people may not necessarily share their parents' beliefs. It's not a genetic issue. Nature and nurture BOTH play a role in the socializing of children (that is, educating them and helping them learn to be a functional part of society). Because interracial couples exist and not everyone is racially driven/minded, chances are those children will encounter different peers who will teach them different things.
Don't be so quick to judge.

Absolutely, it's stupid to be so superficial that race or religion is the only thing that matters. People in general tend to focus too much on what's on the surface instead of what's inside, whether that focus is on support or on disdain, and whether that focus is on race, religion, or someone's weight.

I agree with you wholeheartedly about the way it's "supposed to be," but as the columnists before me have mentioned, these issues are deeply ingrained in the human mind.
Even so, as humans, look how far we've come. Just the fact that there are interracial couples all over the place suggests that we've grown, and will continue to do so. There's still hope for the human race. :)

Siren

Q: Hello there :) well this is my problem. I have a boyfriend we been together for 4 years. on and off. Recently there has been this girl on his Facebook that likes his pictures and also he starts liking her statuses. Last night i was going through her page and saw a comment her friend post on one of her status. It said "oh look who liked this status Jake" I automatically knew she was talking about him because they call my boyfriend jake. There was another status were they were talking about him. he goes to party's with them and his brother. I'm confused because i been seeing this random things on Facebook so if they do this in Facebook imagine in parties. i think im just going to end up breaking up with him even if it hurts. I know it will get better with time :'(

Well, I hate to say it, but I think you answered your own question.

If you can't trust him, there's no foundation for a good relationship - especially not if you guys have been on and off for four years. You can't even trust him to remain your boyfriend, it sounds like.

I had a relationship like this, and as much as we tried to make it work in the end, we had hurt one another too much to be able to forgive and move past all the damage we'd done the past years.

I'm not sure how old you are, but regardless of age, I think it's a pretty safe assumption that you will find someone who you can trust, who'll really appreciate you. Get rid of this one. He's not worth the stress and pain, and you WILL heal, I promise. I did. :)

If you have any other questions, please feel free to send me another message, and I'll do my best.

Siren

Q: I need to figure this out by tomorrow night, so please help me out. I'm a 17 year old female. I'm 4'10 and quite skinny. I am pretty small (I say this because I might just be an easy target.. I don't know). At school today, during lunch, this black guy that I've never seen before came up to my friends and I and asked me if I had a boyfriend. I said no. He said his friend over at his table wanted my number and all that. Long story short, 3 guys at this guy's table got my number. I went over to them like 4 times because the guy asked me to and one of the times, they asked if my friends gave head. I said they'd have to ask them, in a sarcastic way. Then they asked if I did and I said "I'm gonna go now" and they said they were just kidding.

After school, one guy texted me. He was the one that had his friend go over and talk to me, apparently. Our texting turned pretty sexual quickly. Please, no one judge me. I was repeatedly saying that no, I wouldn't send him any pictures. I stood strong on my belief that it's not good to send dirty pictures. But this guy wants to meet up with my tomorrow at a movie theater.
He wants to do sexual things in the theater and "if it's good, go over his place to have sex." I'm not at all comfortable with doing ANYTHING like that at the movies. But I tend to let my sex drive lead me into things. I'm attracted to him and actually want to have sex with him. But I just met him... Do normal girls ever feel like this? Like, stuck on what decision to make? I just don't know.

It doesn't feel right but at the same time, I want it. My social life hasn't been so good lately because I recently lost my best friend. I just kind of want to do something, you know? I don't even know... Would going through with it make me a terrible person? I don't even know if I can get out of it now..
Thanks in advance.

I'm gonna focus on a couple phrases that stuck out to me:

"I recently lost my best friend."

It doesn't matter if it was because of a death (though if it was, my sincerest, deepest condolences), or a falling out - a loss is a loss. You must be grieving. Recognize that there are stages to the healing process, and that sometimes the emotions that you feel in this process can lead to self-destructive behavior.

That said, having a one night stand isn't necessarily self-destructive. It only is if you allow it to be. If you FEEL like it's the wrong thing for you - not because someone else thinks so, but because YOU do - then don't do it. If you're okay with just having some physical connection with someone, maybe because you feel disconnected from people right now, having lost your friend, then it's OKAY.
The action in and of itself does not make you a bad person by any means. But for your own sanity, I encourage you to think about why you're drawn to do this.

"I don't even know if I can get out of it now."

You can get out of anything you get into. If you don't want to go through with this, or you have hesitations about how you might feel afterward, just tell him, "You know what, I thought I wanted to do this, but I really don't." You don't have to give him a reason. You don't have to justify yourself. Even if you're at the theater, or at his house, you can change your mind. A "no" ALWAYS overrules a "yes." If you DO want to do it, don't lie to yourself about the reason for having made the choice you did. You can lie to everyone else, if you want, but it won't do you any good to lie to yourself.

To answer your question, yes, normal girls do feel like this. Wanting something physically and having your brain screaming at you not to go through with it (or even the other way around) is perfectly normal, and common, actually.

The only remaining thing I have to say is this: If you decide to go through with this, MAKE him wear a condom. STDs and pregnancy are no joke. Don't forget that as a girl, you have the upper hand. If he resists wearing a condom, he doesn't get to have sex with you. Never allow anyone to push you to do something you're uncomfortable with, no matter what. Make educated decisions, not hormone-induced ones (though believe me, I remember what it was like to be your age, and that was really hard to do sometimes).

Above all, remember, it's FINE to enjoy yourself. Be responsible about it, and you'll have nothing to worry about.

Siren

Q: .. attractive?

I feel like I don't want to be involved with him because I don't find him to be physically attractive, but at the same time I really like his personality, and I think through that I've become pretty sexually attracted. ugh what a mess

teenage hormones suck. but i can't help from fantasizing about him, even though i think i'd be embarrassed to be seen with him in that way, apart from as a friend. i guess it kind of makes me shallow, but I'd just want to be romantically involved with a guy I could feel is hot, and who I wouldn't be embarrassed to be seen in public with, since I'm physically attractive myself (i'm not trying to be cocky, just being honest). i mean the guy isn't THAT ugly, or even obese, i think he could actually look a lot better if he just took care of himself better, wore better clothes, and perhaps got a gym membership or something.

see, im picky like this and this is how im perpetually single. but i dont want to be desperate and go for a guy i'm not fully into, you know

Just to put it out there, I'm a pretty attractive girl myself (there's a picture of me on my column, if you're curious). I used to be picky like you - if I didn't drool over a guy, he was useless.

I'm not sure how old you are, apart from in your teens, but I gotta tell you - sometimes if you're attracted to a guy sexually and mentally, he can become really freaking hot in your eyes. So other people don't agree? They don't have to. They're not dating him. Their opinion doesn't matter. Plus, you know, "that nerdy guy" could turn into a really sexy, successful businessman later in life. Looks don't last forever. You want to be attracted to your partner, but for reasons other than his looks. Going for a guy that you don't drool over doesn't make you desperate, it makes you not a shallow bitch who's only into Abercrombie models. (Not saying that's what you are. I just know some girls like that, and they are... well, alone.)

So he could use a gym membership - get one with him. Be his workout buddy, encourage him, and keep yourself fit and healthy while you're at it. (My boyfriend and I are doing this right now. He's not as cut as he used to be, and neither am I, so we decided to focus on both of us getting healthier. It's something fun to do together.)

You don't like the way he dresses? I'm sure some things look better on him than others. You can tell him "You look really good in that" and encourage him to dress in more appealing ways. Keep in mind, however, that you can't change who he is. What he looks like, however, is not who he is. It's a very small part of him, and it sounds like you recognize the deeper part, which is good.

Regardless of how he looks on the outside, if you're attracted to this guy and fantasizing about him, you should really give him a chance. Trust me.

Siren

Q: A friend was rapped and she says she wants to kill the baby in the womb without abortion but with tablet. But she's 8 months pregnant

I'm pretty sure that no one will give your friend the abortion pill if she's 8 months pregnant. In fact, I think doctors rarely will abort a fetus after the first trimester. Late-term abortions can be dangerous to the carrying mother, and any doctor who's willing to help your friend at this point is not a good doctor.
That pill not something you can get over the counter - not to mention, the baby is fully formed and almost ready to come out by now. Yes, she was raped; yes, childbirth is scary, but she doesn't really have much of a choice, at this point. She needs to start looking for ways to put it up for adoption.

For the record, I am WAY pro-choice. Believe me, I have strict circumstances under which I'll allow myself to have a child; not before then, no matter what. So my opinion here isn't strictly "the baby deserves to live!"

I'm sorry about what happened to your friend. The best thing you can do for her is be there to support her, and keep her well-being in mind. Please talk her out of this idea. I doubt she'll be able to get the tablet anyway, but on the offchance that she does, it's dangerous and stupid - don't let her do it.

Siren

Q: It is too expensive but I am a mess without it. Emotionally, I have been a wreck for the last month... which is the longest I have been off of it in 11 years. I have no health insurance & no way of getting any for a long time from now. I enrolled in a program that takes so long to get approved for a decent price we can afford. Should I stick it out & make sure my regular shipments to my doctor arrive so I can stay on them consistently or you think it is best to take any samples my Doctor has , even if I run out again before my regular supply is shipped to him?
Thanks :)

Absolutely, yes, take any samples your doctor has, even if you feel embarrassed about it. Staying on the medication that helps you is MUCH more important than pride. Trust me - I was in a two-year battle with an insurance company over one of my meds, and just kept getting samples from my doctor. I have different insurance now, thankfully, but I couldn't be off the med - so I got samples.

In the medical world, medication samples are given or shipped to doctors free of charge, often particularly for the medications that do not have a generic available, or are extremely expensive (such as Cymbalta, Abilify, and Suboxone). If your doctor has samples, take them. It doesn't cost your doctor anything, nor should it cost you anything; there's no reason not to.

Depression medications should NEVER be suddenly stopped, especially after so long on them - you can get withdrawal symptoms, and even rebound depression or anxiety, insomnia; the list goes on. You say you've been a wreck for the last month; it's time to do something. There's no reason for you to have to feel the way you do.

Is there a reason you've been off it, if your doctor has samples? Or does your doctor not have samples? Maybe not enough samples?

Your doctor's office can arrange with their local drug rep to have a certain amount of samples given to them, specifically FOR you - I worked in a psychiatrist's office for two and a half years, and did this for several patients. All the office staff has to do is give the representative a call - or the company, depending. I managed to keep several patients on their medications that way, until they could get insurance, switch to a more affordable medication, or get on a program.

Even without insurance, there's ALWAYS a way around the system. Please feel free to inbox me, or add to your question here, if I've misunderstood, or if you have more questions.

Also - if your doctor's office doesn't know their drug rep, they need to call the company and ask them who to talk to about getting a steady supply of samples for a patient. Remember, drug companies WANT people to take their medication. They'll help you stay on it.

But yes, definitely, take the initiative, talk to your doctors' office, and get some samples.

Siren

Q: so you say peppermint tea is good because im auditioning for the voice and my throat is a little dry cause of sickness anything eles is good what about hunny and lemon in a cup?

My favorite trick for a sore throat (home-remedy-wise, anyway) is hot (not scalding) peppermint tea with a cough drop melted into it.

You can also do peppermint tea and honey - but you'll have to experiment with the lemon before your audition. People use lemon for its acidity to help cut the phlegm in their throat, but it actually made my voice worse, and hurt rather than helped.

Also, drink LOTS of room temperature water. Cold water can make you phlegmy and mess with your voice. If lemon helps you, you can even pop a couple of lemon slices into your water.

Hope these tricks help. Good luck!

Siren

Q: Okay first off I am 20. I have two children. I am a stay at home mother. No smoking drinking or anything.

My pain in my hands are if I am folding laundry my hands hurt so bad like an ache that I cant finish the laundry I have to do it later. I can look at it and feel the pain. If I get cold my wrists, ankles knees hurt so bad. Tonight has been the worse even to the point of my bawling. I can usually can a hot bath and the pain goes away. Most of it has gone away but it still hurts and tonight I had my husband wrap my legs in a blanket and he said my legs wasn't even cold. My legs sometimes jerk a little on their own.

I don't have health insurance nor can I afford a doctor appt. Yes I have tried to get health insurance threw the state they say we make to much. but after our bills we barley have enough for gas. I know you are not doctors but maybe you are someone or know some one with the same symptoms.

**Disclaimer: Of course, I'm not a doctor, but I have experience with pain conditions and a lot of base knowledge. So here are my two cents:

I agree with Zane - it sounds like arthritis. Age has nothing to do with it, unfortunately. I don't know if you're a heavier person, but that could definitely put a strain on your joints.

Extreme temperatures as far as climate can cause changes in your body. You don't have to physically be cold to feel that it's ten degrees outside. You may even find that humidity, or a storm in the air, could cause pain. If you find that moist heat does the trick, that's great. Heating pads might help, or just running warm water over your wrists/hands.

As far as your legs jerking, that may not be a symptom. It's called a myoclonic jerk, and is basically an involuntary muscle contraction or relaxation. It could be a result of the pain, especially if you've been having the pain for awhile.

More importantly, though, the pain (or arthritis) itself could be caused by something else. You NEED to get checked out.
If you have a family doctor, ask what their office visit price is. Ask your children's pediatrician if s/he'll do you a favor and see you with your kids next time they go in - or go in for a well-check with one of your kids and start talking about your symptoms. Don't be afraid to network and try to find the least expensive way to do this, even if it's begging for a favor. You never know who'll be able to give you the help you need - but you DO need help. This is getting in the way of daily activities, and it needs to be managed. Just because you're 20 doesn't mean you can't have something serious. Better to be safe than sorry.

In the meantime, does Motrin help? Tylenol? Do you have any other symptoms? Trouble sleeping? Lack of energy, other than feeling tired from being in pain?

Be brave. Ask your family for help, and do what you need to do to ease the pain. I hope you feel better. :(

Siren

[Edit:] In response to your feedback, I understand what it's like to be living paycheck to paycheck. BUT, like one of the more recent columnists said, you can make payment arrangements with doctors' offices. As long as you stick to the agreement, they won't press you for more money. Explain your situation. You need to go and take care of yourself. I know as a mom your first instinct is to take care of your kids above all else, but if you don't get help, you won't be much good to them. So do something a little selfish. Make a call, ask about small monthly payments, tell them what's going on, and see what they can do for you.
Good luck.

Q: Been thinking about getting a tattoo for ages because I really want to have something thats a part of me and will be with me forever... When thinking about it I now know that I want to be able to cover it, I don't want it on my arms or hands, I want to be able to see it and I don't want it on my neck or face. I'm not sure where to have it (as you can tell) and I don't know what tattoo to have... I was thinking sillouttes of birds on my foot? Suggestions please! :D

First, and above all else, if you're gonna get a tattoo, get something that has meaning to you. If that's bird silhouettes, go for it.
Placement is important, too - if a tattoo on your foot or ankle (maybe the side of your calf, down by your ankle? You can cover it with pants, and there's more tissue there than on your foot - it'd hurt less) is what you want, then absolutely go for it. You could even test out what you think you want by drawing some bird silhouettes on your foot, or your ankle. See how it looks to you. Don't like it? Wash it off, put it somewhere else.

Here's my story:
I only have one tattoo, but it's about as big as my hand stretched out, and between my shoulder blades. The placement is symbolic of strength and power; the butterfly symbolizes freedom, and the additions you won't see in my profile picture symbolize balance of mind, body, heart, and spirit. It's a long story, but I've had it done, laser-ized once, and completely redone. It hurt the first time I had it done because the guy was very heavy-handed, and my design is of thick, black tribal-type lines. I went in originally planning to get it on the back of my neck, but the guy said the lines could lose definition there - so we made it bigger, and changed the placement. Anyway. I decided, after some unfortunate circumstances, that I wanted someone different to add to the piece. I designed every inch of this piece, and my artist(s) were both wonderfully flexible people. My second artist was much more light-handed, and we wound up going over my entire tattoo. It felt like cat scratches, and took four hours, but it was worth it!

Back to you:
NEVER give the okay to go until the design and the placement is PERFECT. As you already know, it'll be with you forever, and laser treatments are neither cheap nor pleasant. I have an extremely high pain tolerance, and that laser hurt like hell. Don't be afraid to be picky, even if you're not sure what you're being picky about. "Something just doesn't look right" is enough reason to try something different.
If you don't have the artistic inclination to draw it yourself, tattoo artists can be very creative and come up with some beautiful, awesome pieces.
Talk to some friends who have tattoos, or even people you run into on the street - word of mouth is the best way to find a good artist. Once you know their name/website, look 'em up. See if you like their work. See if you think the work they do is the kind of tattoo you want. I suggest you even go into their tattoo parlor and talk to them for awhile. Look around. Ask them about sterilization of tools (make sure their needles are sterile, if not individually pre-wrapped and sealed).
Done right, you'll be sporting a beautiful piece of art for the rest of your life. :)

Siren

bio

I'm a laid-back 26 year old with a Psychology BA, starting my MA program, and working my way into the field as quickly as I can. It took me an extra Bachelor's degree (in vocal performance and creative writing) to figure it out, but I was put on this Earth to help, to heal, and to love.

I have made the decision to dedicate my life and career to helping others. I am here to do just that.

I've been a member since 2004, and since I signed up, I've gone through quite a lot and learned quite a lot from it. I'm here to give guidance where I had none; no one should have to go through the difficulties I went through alone.

Feel free to visit my website/blog, if you want to read my experience with domestic violence and my thoughts on it.

***While I do tend to answer mental health and other health-related or medicine-related questions, I am by NO MEANS a licensed physician or practitioner of any sort. Any and all advice I give for these questions is from my own experience or studies.***

If you need to get a hold of me quickly, my screen name on AIM is SirenCytherea. Just let me know you found me here.

I'm a strong believer in the idea that there are no stupid questions except the ones left unasked, so, please, keep an open mind, heart, and mouth.

Siren