|
Will my mom and my brother get on with there lives after i kill myself?
First of all id just like to say this is more of a statement than a question and for that i apologise i just thought that somebody should hear what im thinking before i die. Im male, 21 years old from the uk and ive finally given up on life.
Ive been trawling the net for days trying to find reasons why i shouldnt kill my self and i just can't think of any, ive felt dead for years, i know its selfish but i dont see any other way.
IT all goes back 11 years when i found out my biological father was a peodophile, what a way to fuck a kids head up, i dont blame my mom for telling me, she got advice from many different people and authorities and was told that it was best to tell me. since then i was never the same i took to stealing and lying, smoking pot and generaly being a prick. i have stolen from my mother so many times ive lost count, ripping her pubs of for £1000's at a time and everytime she has let me back, well i did it again just recently trying to stay out of my own head i picked up an old habit for cocaine and in 2 short weeks of running a pub for her have ripped it off for £900, she and her bloke are in debt up to there eyeballs already and now with this they both might lose there home and job(another pub) i know that im well and truely broken, i should have a seen a shrink years ago but always refused and ive recently come to realise that the drugs the stealing it was always running from the real issues ive left bottled up. It will probably destroy my mom when i kill myself tonight but i figure if i do it im only going to hurt her this 1 last time,
the real question here is do you think she and my little brother will ever forgive me?
[ ]
Want to answer more questions in the Health & Fitness category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Mental health?
I don't think being forgiven after your dead is the main point here. Its not a selfish thing to commit suicide, its a sad thing that you feel so alone.
In answer to the stealing for drug addiction, I think you know that drugs has never been a good idea for anyone and ultimately if you take drugs for a long time then you will die. I've watched people take drugs and known those who have died and its awful. You recognise that drugs is a way of escape, so try to stop taking drugs.
You need to talk to someone, you are not broken. Before I have thought I was broken and would not be able to be fixed, but there's always hope. There is always a way, even when it doesn't seem like it. (I know it sounds like a bloody cliché but its true)
]
Talk to me. I've tried killing myself plenty of times and I'm not like the others who just say aww please dont and get some help youll be alright. Because I know it's not alright. Obviously I don't want you to do anything but you need to talk about why and how and trust me after talking about it it makes it feel kinda dumb. I usually just try suicide without thinking and end up feeling a dick cos barely anything works trust me they always find a way to save you.
It feels like you would rather give your loved ones one big hurt rather than hurting them over a long period of time doesnt it? Trust me, I tell myself that so many times over deciding to leave my three year old son with a dead mummy.
Honestly, talk to me, I will help you
]
Ok for the comment posted by masterclinic I see where they were going because they were trying to give you tuff love but those kinds of things are actually takin more negatively for someone in your position facing what you're facing so I wouldn't pay attention to that comment it will only make you feel worse. They're trying to say you're avoiding life and need to man up but not everyone can just face life on. I understand what you're going through but dont be a bad influence like you're father. Be the person you want your family to look up to and tell you're family what you told us and maybe apologize to them for some regrets you have. I wish you the best!
]
Okay, here's my deal: I'm agnostic, so I won't tell you you have no right to return God's gift. I'm unemployed for no good reason; I'm not going to tell you to stop being a bum and get a job - it's just not that simple.
Let me give you a little background on me:
I'm 24 and from America. I was laid off from a job I loved indescribably three days before Christmas. I'm about to graduate with a psychology BA with no way to fund further schooling without some really good luck. The last guy I dated physically abused me, and I now have chronic neck pain. I also have crohn's disease, which I will never be free of, exercise induced asthma, and a loving, needy cat to care for.
Just to make a point, there's a lot of bad shit in my life that I can't get away from, ever - I made the decision, though, to use my experiences as knowledge and help as many people as I could. I'm not going to tell you I've felt the way you do, because I'm a stubborn, hardheaded bitch. Nothing could ever make me give up and prevent me from all the good I can still do for other people.
The net, in general, isn't going to find you a reason not to go kill yourself. The only person who can make that decision is you - but here's the thing: Why would you? I read what you wrote, and you're a step ahead of most drug addicts who can't and won't admit they have a problem. You've admitted that you do, and that you feel like you're running away from your real problems. You don't have to do drugs, or kill yourself to escape - you need a therapist, and maybe a psychiatrist. Someone to help you face your problems head on like the strong guy I know you want to be, and someone to help you understand that you are nowhere near having no way out.
If you care about your mom and brother, sit them down and tell them what you told us. You seem to be an intelligent person, regardless of the choice you think you've made, so I can only assume that you do actually know that getting rid of yourself is not a way to save them pain and suffering. It would only cause them more. Put yourself in their shoes for a minute.
Your younger brother won't be able to look up to you anymore - all he'll know is that you killed yourself and left him alone. I don't know if you have the same father, but if you do, he'll have no one to understand him. He needs you to commiserate with him when he's old enough to learn what his father is. I could only WISH that I had an older sister to help me through life. Don't take that away from your brother.
Your mother - you already said it would destroy her. You obviously care a lot about her. Do you really want to put her through such misery and pain? Through wondering if she could've been a better mom, if she did the wrong thing, if she could've saved her first born son? You're special to her, even with the "transgressions" you've described above she hasn't disowned you, or whatever.
My response may be a little late, but please, please reconsider. You are not past the point of no return in life. There are still people who love you and need you, and at least one stranger who's willing to spend an hour of her time writing to you in hopes that you won't go through with it. You can turn this around; you just got a little lost on your path, and there's no shame in that.
Please take the initiative and take a step toward fixing this situation.
Best of luck. Please be strong.
Siren
]
You know the one of the best things a woman can hear is "you're pregnant".Yourse mother loves you no matter what you've done and I know,and you should know that she always will no matter what.When she decided to tell you about your father,it wasn't easy for her,but she did it because she loves you,and because she doesn't want to lose you in the future and she doesn't want to see you get hurt.If you're not on track,and you're doing bad things,simply stop.Get up and do something about the life you're ruining with your own hands,have a fresh brandnew start.Go out have fun,have some quality time with your mom just do anything that will help you start over.As an answer to your question,I say no.The most valuble thing to a mother is her children,why do think you're mom has been forgiving you even though you've done so many mistakes?its because she doesn't want to lose you.If you kill yourslef,she will literally lose you and she will blame herself for not being a good parent.All your mom wants is to see you happy and successfull,what's so hard about that?And as for your brother,then he's just ganna have to deal with it,its not like he as a choice.Just remember,when everything seems to be going wrong in life,family will always be there to help you every step of the way.So,don't kill yourslef.Life is a gift from god,and you have no right to do something horrible like that.
A.I
]
If I say no will it make any difference whatsoever? Nope It won't
My advice is to get off your ass and change your life around, you think your the first person to have a fucked up father? Your not, so stop using it as a excuse for hurting your family, and doing nothing with your life.
I don't feel bad for you because to hold down job only is nothing. I have so much more responsibilities and yet I don't drink or do drugs, so why the hell can't you do it? Why can't you get off your lazy ass and get a Job like everyone else and be someone your family can be proud of?
]
More Questions: |