about

I'm Jessie. I've been on here on and off for about 7 years. I'm 22 :) I am currently in my final year of college studying English and new media
I'm from Ireland I dye my hair way too much. I've been blonde,brown,brown with blonde,black,red,and blonde again!I love helping people I found advicenators when I was just 15 and didn't understand the world! I feel I have matured with this site. The people on here are amazing and I love coming on here in my spare time to be there for people in need. I won't tell you what you want to hear because that's not advice it's just fooling yourself. I try to help in whatever way I can I try not to judge and try to relate to a situation if I can. :) If you don't like honesty then you won't like my advice.
If you're kind enough to rate me please leave a comment letting me know if I helped! I love hearing that I have!
Please try to use proper grammar and be coherent.


I have been featured 4 times. :)

advice

I have this very important exam at university in two days,I've studied everything I had to study,I feel like I'm ready,but I'd like to take the exam right now bc I thing rhis is the right moment!I cannot wait any longer!How can I simmer down a little,I'm getting really stressed and over emotional,can anyone guide me?thanks;)

Hey there,
I completely know the feeling! I think the anticipation is actually worse than the exam itself! But don't worry you have done all you can do. You have studied and you know your stuff.
Any extra cramming at this stage will just cause you to burn out. And that's not good. Just relax and try your best to put it out of your mind and not to over think it.
Do fun things to take your mind off it! A night or two before My exam my sister and her boyfriend took me swimming at his house. We got pizza and watched movies it was a great way to wind down.
Try something like that or listening to music etc. Or go out with friends and do something.
Have a nice long relaxing bath with candles and stuff to wind down! :) You've done the work now it's time to rest up and be ready!
Best of luck in your exam I'm sure you will do great.
Much

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I went over to my friends house the other day with four other people. Two of them are dating and the other two are dating also. We watched a movie and all my 2 friends did was make out! Is it stupid for me to think that it was really rude? I mean they could have at least gone into a different room right? I think there is a limit on PDA and they crossed it.... Is that wrong to think this? Oh btw I'm 14 and a girl.

Hey there,
No of course not. It's not wrong to think that at all.
It's always awkward/uncomfortable when two people start making out right in front of you!Especially when you were all meant to be hanging out and watching a movie. It's always tough having to be the third wheel. It was unfair of them to put you in that situation. You are right if they had any respect they would have moved to another room. I recently went travelling with a group of friends,one night we came back to our hostel and two of my friends started having sex in the bunk next to mine. It was disgusting and down right disrespectful,not to mention there was a girl we didn't know sleeping in the bunk below them.
Some people just don't have any consideration. If it happens again politely ask them to stop or move.
If not just don't hang out with them if that's all they are going to do. There is a time and a place.
It may seem old fashioned or whatever,I'm all for holding hands and kissing in public but there is a fine line. Practically kissing the face of one another and mauling each other just isn't nice to see.
Hope I answered your question.
Good luck and much

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Okay, so the other day my two best friends got into a fight and they haven't talked since. My other friend and I have something to do, and the other one is inviting me to do something, and I know that if I choose a side, I'll end up losing one of the two, and honestly, I just want them to get over it, and we could be okay again. Any help on this?

Hey there,
This is always a difficult situation. It's never nice being stuck in the middle.
You need to explain to both of them (if they agree to sit down together) If not individually. And tell them that you will not take sides.
Explain how that would be completely unfair of them to expect you to do that. Tell them you love them both equally and value their friendship. Explain how you are not just going to stop seeing one over the other. Express your concern over their falling out and hopefully they can sort it out so you can all get back to hanging out together.
I'm sure they will get over it eventually. Until then make it clear you want them BOTH as friends and see them separately or if they can't handle that not at all. Until they sort it out.
Also make it clear that you will not tolerate either of them bitching about the other in your presence as you wan't to remain impartial and stay out of it.
If they keep being pissy about it just distance yourself from them until they learn to grow up. You don't need other peoples drama in your life.
Good luck and much

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Does taking pills and getting really drunk, while over a bridge sounds like a good idea to kill myself? I have two options drown or die from the drug over does. I know that I have a mental health issue (depression. I have asked for help and have been take antidepressents. They somewat help. I also learned that I have another mental health issue that came with the depression.....Socail axiety. Everyday I feel like their is no point to my life. I have a good job, good family, but I have no meaning/nothing.

No. That does not sound like a good idea at all. You know why? Because killing yourself is NOT a good idea. Nor is it a solution to your problems.

Suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem. Take it from someone who knows. I have suffered with mental health issues. I have had suicidal thoughts,but I have battled through it and overcame my demons. And I am so much stronger as a result.

You say you have no point to your life,but you just mentioned two very important points. A good job and a good family. Most people aren't fortunate to have those things in life. Most people struggle alone to make ends meat without any type of support system.

You have a loving family who care about you a great deal! Think about how devastated you would leave them should you choose to end your life. By committing suicide you are going to be affecting the lives of everyone around you.

Please don't give up. Life can be cruel,hard and challenging sometimes I know. It's brutal but don't let your demons get the upper hand. Think of the good things life has to offer.
Moving higher up the ladder at your career,travelling the world,meeting knew people,romance,spontaneity,excitement,laughter,wonder.It's endless. Stop associating with the negative.

Don't bottle up your feelings. If you are feeling depressed lonely and suicidal TALK IT OUT! trust me it really does help. A problem shared is a problem halved as they say.

A friend of mine recently committed suicide. He hung himself,but mid way through (which often happens) he had second thoughts. He tried to stop it by putting his hand through the rope (this was how he was found) but unfortunately he failed.

I have lost so many people to suicide including family. It's devastating. Please seek further help. Have you gone to a psychiatrist? Counsellor? it can transform your life.


Have a look at this website:
http://www.metanoia.org/suicide/

I wish you the best of luck in life and I beg you not to end it. Life is precious. We only get one shot,make the most of it.

I am always here if you need someone to talk to. My inbox is always open. Much

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i'm 13 and i was with this guy around 3 months, the first month at a party we went off together and he fingered me and i gave him a hand job, then after than night mostly everytime we met up we done something. is this bad? he did ask me to have sex with him but i said no. everyone found out about what we done and now people call me a slag-_- am i really that bad??

Hey there,
No I would not call you a slag. You have your own free will at the end of the day,but honestly I wouldn't make a habit out of it. You don't want to get a reputation as the girl who gets off with random guys at parties. Don't feel pressured into doing anything you are not comfortable with. Especially at your age there is sooo much time for all that. Just enjoy being young and carefree.
If I am being completely honest with you it sounds like this guy is just interested in engaging in sexual activity with you.
Every time you have met up you said you have done something. And he asked you to have sex after just 3 months. Do you guys hang out and just be a couple?go to the mall movies etc? or is it purely making out?Be careful and don't let your guard down. But well done for not giving in and saying no.
Don't let guys take advantage of you,find a guy who will treat you with the respect and adoration you deserve.
Good luck and much

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I've written a well thought out essay on why I want to be cheer captain. But I'm stuck on the conclusion! I've put in my essay my good communication skills, responsibility and maturity, how I'm a good role model, fairness and impartiality, how I'm approachable, and how I can delegate with being bossy. Please help! I want to be captain so bad.

Hey there,
Okay Just keep it simple. A conclusion is just a general look back and quick summary of the essay. It shouldn't be too long or drawn out.
Just start by saying "In conclusion to this essay,I feel I have effectively and clearly outlined the reasons as to why I should be appointed cheer captain. (reiterate some points in concise form) I sincerely hope my application is considered as this would mean a great deal to me."
Something like that!
Good luck and I hope you get it :)
Much

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Okay, well when I was about 10 my brother started playing with me. I mean in my vajaja. Well, as I got older it started to give me more and more pleasure. Well, he told me to get on the floor with him one night and he 69 it. Meaning I had to give him a blow job and he started liking and tounging my vajaja. I think its wrong but don't want my parents to find out and I have to get birthcontrol pills and the doctor looks down there! Please HELP!!!

Hi there,
Okay what you are doing with your brother is incest and it is wrong on so many levels. Not only that but it is also illegal.
Your brother is taking advantage of you. This may not be what you want to hear but it's the truth.
He is molesting you and started grooming you at a young age. Deep down you know it's wrong. It may be giving you pleasure but that is simply your body reacting to sexual activity there are other more natural and normal ways to experience this.
You cannot continue to engage in sexual activity with your brother. It is psychologically and emotionally damaging!
Please,I urge you to tell someone. This is serious abuse. Your brother needs help. His sexual desires are clearly not normal if he does this to you.
Tell your parents immediately so they can take the proper course of action needed. You may also need to speak to a counsellor to help you deal with all of this.
The fact that your brother did this to you when you were only ten is also appalling. Who's to say when he is older he won't try to do this to some other little girl and ruin her life?
He is a predator. I know that's hard to hear as he is your brother but this type of behaviour is not normal! Imagine if you got pregnant? what then?You would be putting that child at risk of serious genetic deformities. Not to say that will ever happen but it's a real possibility. Please please stop this. Tell your parents or a teacher counsellor or a member of authority.
I'm here if you need support,feel free to inbox me at any time,but you must stop this now.
Good luck and much

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15/F


I want a boyfriend, but I don't know if anyone likes me. How do you tell if a guy likes you or if he's just being nice?

Hey there,
Okay well take note of his body language. Does he brush up against you? Find reasons to touch you or be near you? Does he go out of his way to talk to you? Does he flirt a lot? Pay you compliments? Notice how he acts around other girls. Does he act the same around all girls or is he different with you?I.e pays you more attention? Usually the player types will flirt with every girl but a guy who is truly interested in you will only have eye for you.
It's always hard trying to gauge if a guy likes you,or is just being friendly. Some guys are natural flirts. Flirt with him and see if he flirts back!
These are the subtle ways I use to try and tell!
Good luck and much

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I'm a 16 year old male and I have never had a girlfriend. This bothers me a lot because all of my friends have but I'm left out. I'm pretty shy, but I can talk to people once I get to know them. I have low self esteem and I feel like I'm not attractive to girls. I am 6 foot 3, 140 pounds and play basketball for my school. There was this girl this year that I really liked, and she was all I could think about all year, and still think about even though it is summer. She came to me when she had problems and said I was a great guy, but I dont think she saw me as more than just a person to talk to to feel better. She would always text me for help on homework, but wouldnt really keep the conversation going after I had helped her. One time though she did ask me who I liked over text. We had a few classes together and she would always sit by me, but outside of class she barely even looks at me. She is the only girl at my school that I would ever see myself dating, but I think she is leaving after this year. I feel like a loser for liking her for so long but I cannot stop thinking about her, and for not making my interest more visible to her. I dont really know why I'm asking this question I just want another perspective other than my own.

Thanks!

Hey there, Thank you for inboxing :)
Okay firstly let me start by saying there is absolutely nothing wrong with never having a boyfriend. I was 16 when I first started dating my current boyfriend,who was also my first.
It's about being patient and waiting for the right person. You should get into a relationship for the right reasons and not because you feel pressured or want to seem cool. Having tonnes of meaningless relationships throughout your teen years is over rated. I know it can be hard though,especially when you see your friends with their girlfriends. But embrace your independence and enjoy being single while you can. Before all the stress and a responsibility of a relationship.
You sound pretty attractive. Sports can be very attractive to girls. Try and have more self confidence in yourself!
About this girl I really think you should face your fear and nerves and ask her out! What's the worst that can happen?that she politely says no. At least you know you tried. Instead of living without ever having known the result. She seems like a nice girl and she said you were a great guy? Try flirting with her a bit and gauge her reaction. Pay her some compliments. She has no clue you are interested in her you need to make this known. Don't let fear of rejection hold you back,if you do you will never get anywhere in life. It's something we all must face at some stage or another. Trust me I've been rejected numerous times,but it makes you stronger,braver even.
Put yourself out there. Keep it casual ask her would she like to go on a date? the movies,mall, or to get coffee or something or dinner.
Good luck and be confident!
If you have any more questions please feel free to inbox me again at any time.
Much

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Me & this guy have known each other for a year now.idk wat to buy him..hes my ex but hes also my bff and a guy i always hook up with -.-
Idk what to buy him since his turning 19

Hey there, Hmm cant go wrong with cologne or a hoodie?Men are impossibly hard to buy for. Try dropping hints to see what he might want or need. perhaps a box set of any tv show he likes ??Does he wear jewelery?I would suggest an identity braclet with his name and date of birth on it?This might not be entirely suitable seeing as you are not going out and is usually associated with couples. Those are a few suggestions it depends on what you wanna spend really. Good luck Jess18/f

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So this weekend I went swimming at a indoor pool with a friend and when I got home the next night my eye started to hurt at the bottom whenever I blinked. This morning I woke up and it was red and swollen underneath... Any ideas what it is? How did this happen? How do I fix it? HELP!

Hey there,It could be just irritation from the chlorine in the water. Give it a day or two to improve. I suggest going to the pharamcy and asking your pharmacist for eye drops/cream if it doesn't clear up you should see an optometerist or regular doctor as you may need prescription medicine for a possible infection. Good luck Jess 18/f

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Long Story Short; my mom was 17, my dad was 15 when i was born. they fought, she cheated, he left. She hasn't let him be in my life. AT ALL. since i was 3. I'm going to be 17 in less than 2 months.

so. Yesterday I went with my boyfriend, to meet him. & it was a good experience. My boyfriend says he can tell he loves me, that hes a good guy and that he wants to be there for me. I told my mom today that i met him and she WENT OFF. and told me if i want to see him i have to get out. Is there something I can do about this?

Hey there, Hmm this is a tough situation. Your mom has no right to keep you from seeing your father. Thats something you should be able to decide for yourself. she shouldnt get in the way of your relationship with your father simply becauae she has issues with him. Sit down with her and explain calmly and maturely that you have a right to see your father and you would like a chance at forming a relationahip with him. Ask her what her problems are with him and why she won t t t allow you to see him. If she doesn't see reason I suggest maybe getting another adult involves to speak to her about it try to stress the importance of a relationahip with ImIyour father,and that you should be allowed the chance to form an opinion of him yourself. Like an aunt uncle grandad or grandmother. I'm sorry your mom is being difficult.If she doesnt let up maybe wait until you are in a position to move out so you are free to see him of your own accord without her ridiculous threat to throw you out. Or perhaps ask can you live with your dad if thats an option. Good Luck and much

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My husband and I have been trying to conceive for 8 months with no luck. I took a preg test June 15th (urine) and it was very faintly pos. (Evap maybe?) But today June 17th I'm having very light pink bleeding (when I wipe and I small amount on liner) and very light cramping. During my period I have an extremely heavy flow the entire diration (7 to 20 days) and very painful cramps. I do have irregular periods, have since day 1 of first cycle and I have 2 children and 3 failed pregnancies. (This is not a miscarriage or tubal...I would definately know) I'm confused and I can't see my dr until august 1. Someone plz help! I know what implantation bleeding is and don't need an explanation. I have never had it so I don't know how to tell between menstration and I.B.

Note: I'm 23 in fairly good health I am a smoker 1 pack a day (yes I will quit if preg) and only a very limited social drinker (maybe a total of 8 hard drinks a month) I haven't been on b.c. for 1 yr

Hey there, I'm not a doctor and obviously cannoy give you a diagnosis and this may be a possibility but it also may not. Have you heard of Polycistic ovarian syndrome? Judging from your heavy periods your inability to concieve and your irregular periods. These are amongst the symptoms. Women with POS find it harder to concieve naturally sometimes they cannot at all. I am noy trying to alarm you it may not even be this its just a suggestion you can look into and get tested for with your doctor. Do you gain weight easily?Do you have problems with excess hair are these are other classic signs. If you cannot see your regular doctor until august what about your OB/GYN? or is it he or she you are waiting to see? I wish I could gove you a definite answer but sadly I cant. Hopefully I have shed some light on the situation. Good luck and much

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I know everyone is different and shows different signs but is there some signs that you can pick up that distinguishes between just wanting to be friend and being friendly or actually being interested in you?

I am 21/f by the way.

Hey there, Well as you said its different for each guy but for me I take particular notice to their body language. Does he brush up against you?find excses to touch you? Does he smile a lot? Does he flirt a lot? Compliment you at all?Take notice of how he acts around other girls and compare it to how he is with you. Does he pay you special attention or treat you differntly to his other female friends. This are some basic signs I try use to gage if a guy likes me. Of course the only full sure way of knowing is being brazen and asking! good luck and I hope this helps. Much

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Do you know how to get rid of a sore throat really fast? I have to sing in a couple days and my throat is really, REALLY sore!

Hey there, Okay try taking a spoon of hot honey every morning ad night. My friend who is also a singer does this when her throat acts up. Other natural remides would be hot water with lemon. Invest in some lozenges pain killers and throat spray this will help numb your throat. Try eating hard rough foods. As painful as it is I find it really strenghtens up your throat as opposed to ice cream which momentarily numbs it. Things like crackers and toast. If symptoms persist you should see a doctor as you might need and antibiotic. Good luck and much

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How can i get the girl i want, when i freeze up every time i see her

Hey there, Okay Just try to relax when you see her!emind yourself she is a person just lile you. Its natural to feel neevousround someone we like! But the key is to just swallow your fear and talk to her!You have an abundance of things at your disposal to talk about,school music tv etc. If its too hard for you initially why not add her on facebook or some other social networking sote and start chatting there?sometomes its easier for.people to text or talk on facebook forst and then face to face. Get her number and start getting to know her. When you find the courage after a while aslk her on a date. Go for it dont let ners stand in your way and hold you back. Good lucl and much

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I have a bf and he is really nice and kind and when we started dating everything was great, but now i have gone off him a little bit and i think hes noticed it by saying he doesn't want to lose me. But theres this guy i can't stop thinking about and i can't get away from him cause i work with him in a small place, hes really nice and were the same age. Everytime i see or talk to him i feel sick and sometimes feel like i can't breathe,i try stay away, i want to tell him how i feel but i can't. I hate feeling this way, i wouldn't cheat on my bf ever, i just want to know some how if he feels the same. Me and him talk outside work and he thanked a friend of his for getting him my number. I don't know what to do

Hey there, Okay I think deep down in your heart you know what you want. It isn't working out with your boyfriend is it?However sweet,kind and caring he is it isn't fair to lead him on if you have lost feelings for him. Which is why I suggest you consider ending things with him now before you develop any deeper feelings for this new guy.Its natural to feel attracted to other people when we are in relationships but you need to asses is it more than just a crush?Is it worth leaving your boyfriend?do you still love your boyfriend?If you dobt then dont stay with.him out of.pity your happiness comes first! Good luck and much

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A few months ago my exboyfriend and I split up after he cheated on me. I've forgiven him for his transgressions (for my sake, not his--hatred is toxic), but for some reason it still really bothers me that we have some mutual friends. I guess the vindictive side of me wanted everyone to turn against him after he hurt me. Why is this? How can I get these feelings to go away? I feel more anger towards my friends for still speaking to him than I do towards him for cheating on me at this point.

Hey there, I understand how you are feeling,and I can see how that could hurt. But you must understand they probably didn't want to take sides. I know that sucks given what he did but people have their own opinion on things. Are your friends a mix of guys and girls? I can understand why guys would still tall to him brotherhood and all that. Your gorlfriends should be more understanding. However the dact is you cant expect them not to be friends with him. He never actually did anything to them personally. So it would be getting involved in other peoples business if they do wgich they probably wanna stay well enough out of. They probably called him out on it but forgiven him. Like you said hatred is toxic. I suggest you let go of yours towards your friends too as when you think about they havnt actually done any wrong here. Good luck and much

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Ok, so my mom says that my boyfriend and I are a two people relationship. Which is true. But my boyfriend's sister 15s are coming up and she's going to a LMFAO concert and I would like to go. So that would be the three of us plus one more person, a friend of hers. My mom has made it clear in the past that she advices against me going with my boyfriend and his sister. Should I pass up going?

Hey there, Yes absolutely of course you should go! It sounds luke it will be a lot of fun and an excellent chance to get to know his sister more. I really see know problem. He obviously cares for you a lot and wants you involved with his fanily. If you decline he might get the impression you are not interested in getting to know his family. Being a two person relationship doesnt mean you should cut yourselves off to all people and social situations and events. It just means that some matters should be kept private between you two:) Good luck and much

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I've heard of at least five girls that claim they will not go swimming unless they are wearing a tampon. I'm just wondering why, because I swim while wearing a pad all the time. Is there something I'm unaware of?

Hey there, Most girls wear tampons Beacause pads have a tendency to leak. Especially whilst under water as the absoebamcy becomes saturated. If you are used to wearing winged pads these can also.show outsode your swim suit. Its to avoid embarrassment incase anything leaks. It also uncpmfortable for most girls. But if it works for you thats okay! :) much

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