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Mutual friends of an exboyfriend
A few months ago my exboyfriend and I split up after he cheated on me. I've forgiven him for his transgressions (for my sake, not his--hatred is toxic), but for some reason it still really bothers me that we have some mutual friends. I guess the vindictive side of me wanted everyone to turn against him after he hurt me. Why is this? How can I get these feelings to go away? I feel more anger towards my friends for still speaking to him than I do towards him for cheating on me at this point.
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Maybe give some free advice about: Friendship?
Only time.
What you are feeling is completely understandably. When someone does something cruel to us, we often want that cruelty to define their entire lives. Unfortunately, it actually doesn't.
A person is defined by a hell of a lot more than then the nasty way they treated you.
The only thing you can really do is take a deep breath and remind yourself, although it's okay to feel this way for a while, it's not reasonable or fair. There will be people in this world, even your friends, who take some pleasure in this guys company, even though he was a total ass to you.
If you feel like you haven't opened up to your closest friends about what happened, or how deeply you've been hurt, they might be being insensitive to your boundaries with this guy purely out of ignorance. You might not be your friends any favors if you aren't telling them you are uncomfortable hearing about your ex - if you actually are.
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Hey there, I understand how you are feeling,and I can see how that could hurt. But you must understand they probably didn't want to take sides. I know that sucks given what he did but people have their own opinion on things. Are your friends a mix of guys and girls? I can understand why guys would still tall to him brotherhood and all that. Your gorlfriends should be more understanding. However the dact is you cant expect them not to be friends with him. He never actually did anything to them personally. So it would be getting involved in other peoples business if they do wgich they probably wanna stay well enough out of. They probably called him out on it but forgiven him. Like you said hatred is toxic. I suggest you let go of yours towards your friends too as when you think about they havnt actually done any wrong here. Good luck and much <3 Jess 18/f
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