(Ask A Question.) (Feedback.) (Discussion Board.) (Make Razhie A Favourite.) (Advicenators.)
Razhie. Advicenators Member Since: June 13, 2005. Answers: 5077. Visitors: 211514.
Favourite Collumnists.
(WittyUsernameHere.) (karenR.) (NinjaNeer.) (rainbowcherrie.) (DangerNerd.)
The Question
Is 13 old enough to have a boyfriend...not like pair off and go out on an actual date or anything...but to really like a boy and have a first kiss or sumthin...it's not like I want to, but when I see kids in my grade kissing and holding hands and stuff and I'm just curious to whether it's right or if it's silly or if it's age-appropriate...?
The Answer
When I was thriteen I thought the idea of having a boyfriend at that age was silly. I'm twenty now and I still think it's silly. Mostly because I can't imagine finding a thirteen-year-old boy even a little bit attractive as a person.
I think is it a fine time to experiment, the problem is alot of young people put more emphasis and emotion into these relationships then is healthy. The expectations are just too high and they oragize thier lives around 'relationships' that only exist in the school halls, online and at a few parties a year. As long as you don't try to invest the rest of your life in some guy at thriteen, do what you want.
(View All Other Answers.)
The Question
Im 23 years old and very attactive have been with my husband whos 33 for 6 years. It takes me along time to reach orgasim and can only do so my oral sex or by him touching my clitoris.
I put alot into our sex life to keep things spiced up and enjoy it but when sex is over he acts like performing any sort of "favor" for me is a chore. Ive tryed to tell him his behavior makes me feel like he dosent want to do it and only is doing so to make me happy. When Im thinking this its impossible to reach orgasim.
He dosent understand its not that hes doing the wrong thing its just how hes doing it.
Ive tried and tried to explain this to him,them women need more emotional stimulation and not just physical. I would like him to say nice things or act like he enjoys it but he acts like its just a chore to do it. I though all guys liked to touch woman. Whats the deal with this? Its so frustrating because I get aroused during sex but then when there is no release because I dont want to have him touch me as a chore I just end up feeling used.
The Answer
Your husband is probably chalking your behavoir up to female emotional bullshit. Which is a common enough mistake. If you feel you've been as clear as you can maybe its time to get him some quotes from text books, or a professionals opinion. One or two sessions with a sex therapist may really open his eyes, as well as teach you to deal with your feelings of being used.
But here is another way to think about it. After a guy has oragasmed his whole body is telling him its time to go to sleep, so at that point getting you off does look like a chore. The most obvious answer in my mind is for you to get off first and see if that keeps him more into it, that is of course as long as you can still enjoy sex afterwards.
(View All Other Answers.)
The Question
Now everyone is dating really young and having boyfriends when their 13. i'm 13 and have had a couple of boyfriends but guys are just plain jerks sometimes at that age. most girls are crazy about dating young but older girls that have waited say that it is worth it to wait to date until your older. does anyone have any opinions on the topic?
The Answer
Didn't date untill I was 19. There were some draw backs. Not to say I never kissed or anything, I made out a hell of a lot, but never wanted a 'relationship' with anyone. Some guys where a little shy of that, but in the end I think it was a good choice for me to wait untill I was out of highschool and out of my parents home. My choices felt like my own, not the choices of my parents or my friends. And I met so many more interesting guys in university then I could ever meet in highschool.
I didn't wait on purpose though, I was just really really choosey. I am glad I waited though, because even my breakups have been cleaner, I never learned bad relationship habits when I was young.
(View All Other Answers.)
The Question
me and this guy have been really close friends for about 4 years and i just recently got out of a 3 year relationship. me and my friend confessed feelings for one another(you may have read about this in another question i asked before)...and we decided to take it slow. yet, a few days ago when i was dropping him off at his house after hanging out(as friends)...he kissed me..and the whole way home i couldnt stop smiling and he said he couldn't either. and it just felt sooooo right and the feelings got stronger after that. BUT, i saw him again today and before we said bye, we kissed again. and, it was just so different. i mean, i like him still but we kiss soo different. like, he moves his tongue a whole nother way than me and its just so not right because we both kiss VERY differently and i couldn't help but feel upset about it. everything was so perfect until now. tonight we talked on the phone and i was kind of quiet and didn't really have anything to say to him and it's just so weird because now, i just kind of want to get back with my ex-boyfriend(even though we have gone through a lot of bad times)...i mean i dont know whats wrong with me ..i like this other kid and all but now i just miss my boyfriend...maybe its because im just used to him and dont know how to change...i really dont know what to do...im not even sure if i have the same feelings toward this kid anymore. please give me any advice that you can!!!
The Answer
I honestly think you need to give yourself more time to move on. Three years is a long time to invest in a relationship and you can't and shouldn't make a rush decision about going back or going out with someone else.
This roller coaster ride is confusing you, so get off. Take some time and enjoy being single. Promise yourself like 2 weeks, or one month of no kissing/hand holding whatever, and stick by it. By the end you'll have a much better idea of what you really want to do.
(View All Other Answers.)
The Question
ok...well this is really bothering me..cuz my brother told me i was spoiled and and i told him i do work around the house for my mom...this is the convo...
ME: i help my mom around the house i wash the dishes i clear n set the table i clean my room and make my bed daily and i always put away the groceries
HIM: how much do you get for all that?
ME: i dont get money i earn the stuff i want by doing that.
HIM: you are definetly spoiled.
please tell me if you think i'm spoiled...this is just gonna bother me alot((he's a half sibling))
different moms
The Answer
Is this any of his buisness?
Do you feel you take advantage of your mothers good nature? Do you demand things that she doesn't want to give you or guilt her about things she can't afford or doesn't feel you should have? Do you cry, pout or otherwise punish your parents when you don't get your way?
If you do. Then you are spoiled. Sounds to me like your brother was just being an annoying shit disturber. Aren't siblings just wonderful!
(View All Other Answers.)
The Question
My mom and I fight alot,and when we do it's bad. She never wants me to have any style, she wants me to buy the cheap stuff. She doesn't understand that kids do tease you if your wearing a shirt with Barbie on it. I used to be known for my style at school but since my dads paycut she wont even let me get a haircut because "It Costs Money." I know it costs money, everything does, but there are something a girl needs like shaving cream and actual razors not like those crap disposable ones. It's not like we have no money whats so ever. We're just struggling, I buy all my own clothes and things. Its gettin to the point where she wont buy my the shampoo I need or the toothpaste I need. She always insists on the cheap stuff and I'm sick of it cause we always end up fighting about it. She thinks I need a job, but what job *besides babysitting* can a 13 year old do ?!?! PLEASE HELP ME. I know its long, but I'd greatly appreciate it.
The Answer
Sympathize with your mother here. I'm sure she doesn't get her kicks by denying you or telling you that you can't have things. She not sitting there with her friend laughing over 20 dollar martinis "And then she asked if she could have some more toothpaste and I said No! Hehehe"
You don't *need* the best shampoo or the most expensive toothpaste. You *need* a roof over your head and food on the table, if your mother feels those things are threatened you can bet she is stressing and cutting back on way more then you are.
If there are things you really want maybe talk to her about priorties. Are you willing to eat Mac and Cheese more often in order to get your shampoo. Or maybe you can live with cheeper deoderant to get your razors.
(View All Other Answers.)
The Question
Ok, so i went camping with my boyfriend this weekend and we had an amazing time. When we got back, i had made plans with my friends to hang out with them on monday night. Well he got home from a really bad day of work and called me and i only had like 3 minutes to talk to him so i asked him how his day was and shared mine, then i told him i had to go. He acted kind of mad and i was just like whatever, we've hung out every day this summer and all weekend. So i went and hung out with my friends and when i got home he was really mad at me and told me that i blew him off. He said that he really needed me when he got home from work and that i shoudl ahve made time to talk to him because he was having a miserable day. The thing was i didn't realize he needed me so bad. We are all made up now and stuff cause we talked about it and got over it. Am i at fault here?
16/f with 19/m b/f of 9 1/2 months
The Answer
I agree this problem arises partly because of the age difference. Around your bf age, work becomes life, and your co-workers become like your friends. (Or at least, you see them nearly as often) So it is good for you to understand that a rough day at work for him is like a fight with a friend for you.
On that note. You're not really at 'fault'. He didn't communicate his needs properly. It's up to you to decide if you can fufill his needs. Would you really have wanted to dicth your friends and hold his hand through a bad day? I personally don't think you should have to. I think he should be mature enough to recongize your priorities as a 16 yearold.
Don't blame yourself, and be very careful of a guy who blames you. It smells a bit like being controlling to me.
(View All Other Answers.)
The Question
I AM A COMUMNIST, AND I CANT FIND AN ANSWER..
PLEASEEEE READ ! IM SORRY FOR THE LENGTH, BUT THIS IS SERIOUS !!
Okay, my sister has these bumps on her breasts, around her nipple and that hurt.. well only when you apply pressure.. and she wears 2 bras and sometimes a tanktop.. or sometimes more layers... and she thinks its because of all the pressure because whenever she wore just a shirt went down a little.. and i really dont know, she's had it for like 2-4 monthhs.. and she has mono too.. and has had it 4-5 months.. and i just really feel the need to help.. ohh and she hasnt started her period and her breast just started to grow.. breast cancer couldnt be given thru heredity because no one in our family has had it.. and im just really scared for her and this is serious !!
The Answer
Sometimes breast are just sore while they are developing. There are also small bumps that develope around the nipple during puberty that are completely normal.
It sounds normal enough to me (I remember how shocked I was when I frist saw those bumps. And wearing two bars to school just cause the bouncing around on the bus hurt so much.) So relax a little bit.
But go to a doctor to be sure its just normal growth.
(View All Other Answers.)
The Question
okay a couple days ago I went to my room and stuck a sticker to my wallet and I pilled it off then it left one of those marks that stickers leave when you pill it off do any of tall have any clue on how to get this stuff off please help I really need some help and saying wash it with hot water is not a option because I have already tried it please help
love brittany
p.s.s I will rate high and that means more 5'z
The Answer
Goo Gone. In the little orange bottle, at walmart, and sometimes hardware or craft stores. It is spectacular. I work in a crystal store and we use it to clean that yucky glue off everything and it never takes any paint off.
(View All Other Answers.)
The Question
my mom is always saying im ugly. last sunday for church, i let my hair dry into natural curl/waves and she said it was ugly and i should brush it (badddd idea) and wear some makeup because my face looked "bad". i didnt wear earrings & she always says i look bad when i dont wear them. when i do wear makeup for other occasions she says i look like a prostitute. i dont know what to do anymore! i cant always be best dressed and miss cheerful like she was when she was my age. shes always telling me how thin she was and how everyone liked her figure just to rub it in my face that i have no womanly shape. my dad says i look ok because he sees what it does to my self esteem. everytime i get the slightest blemish, shes the first to point it out. i hate it! someone please help me! any advice will help! ill rate 5s...
The Answer
Your mom isn't being a very good mother. (If she weren't your mother I'd be tempted to call her a bitch) This behavoir is completely out of line and you should not take it.
She is doing this to make herself feel better, and it is disgusting that she is competing with her daughter. You are not her, the same things aren't important to you, and thats a good thing too, since what is important to her seems to be terribly shallow.
You sound like you've tried to talk to her and tell her how much this hurts. Unless she has improved after a good talking to, step it up a notch, when she starts belittling you, walk away, ignore her, even laugh at her. She needs to know that those sort of opinions don't deserve any respect, and at the very least, she should keep them to herself.
Call me a sinner, but I don't believe in honoring your parents if they are hell bent on hurting you.
(View All Other Answers.)
The Question
hey how do you become a moderater ont his site? thanks for the help :D
The Answer
Although you can go to moderator FAQ to find out how to become a mod here, you ought to know that Danger Nerd is taking steps to change the system big time, and no longer let people become mods just because they meet those standards.
(View All Other Answers.)
The Question
I am seventeen, and I've had my period for about 4 years. It has always been regular [never late. always early or on time.] Right now it's 2 weeks late, and I know irregular periods are completely normal for someone who's had it for a couple years. But shouldn't it be pretty regular by now? I am NOT sexually active, so there is no way I am pregnant. (My mom is freaking out and telling me to confess already, ha.) Anyways, should I be a little worried that it's THIS late?
The Answer
Variations are normal. A whole bunch of things can effect your period, most often stress or changes in your diet. But as a girl who is often rather late I'd like to give you a warning, as soon as your period starts, start taking advil or midol or whatever you take for cramps or pain and take the biggest dose you can because in my experience, the later you are, the more it hurts.
(View All Other Answers.)
The Question
Ok, this might sound really stupid, but this bugs me so much. My mom normally lets me get my hair cut before each school year starts but this year she won't. She told me she doesn't feel like I really need one cuz she gave me a trim a couple months ago and she also said she wasn't gonna let me get it done for a whole year! I thought that was pretty harsh. My hair bugs me cuz it gets in my face when I play basketball and I told her I'm not gonna tryout unless I get it cut. How do I convinve her to let me cut it, or ways for me to like my hair.
The Answer
Let's face it, hair cuts are suprisingly expensive. I'm afriad its up to your mom if she wants to pay for it or not. So if you really want your hair cut either pay for it yourself, or cut it yourself. Maybe you have a friend at school whoes good at cutting hair?
(View All Other Answers.)
The Question
I am a 16 year old girl, who loves to act and I love to preform in shows. I have done many shows but my problem is I am not a singer. To be honest, my voice is pretty awful, so I can only really get parts in non-musicals or just be in the chorus for musicals. This is fine with me, but I love singing so much I just wish to improve my voice a little. Now I am not asking for a transformation that will suddedenly land me the lead in a musical...I know that isn't realistic, but I would like to improve my voice. I do NOT want to have a voice teacher...I don't think my parents would spend money on that nor do I want to be that serious. Are there any other ways of improving my voice? Any tricks anyone knows? Also are there any websites that can help you for FREE? Also what would be a good broadway song to sing at an audition?...my voice is on the lower side (I cannot hit high notes). Thanks You!
The Answer
Quite honestly, it is very difficult to improve your voice without a voice coach or instructor, or just from a book. My advice would be to get one of your theatre friends to coach you and learn thier breathing exercises and such. It really is something that needs to be done in person.
To maintain your voice, drink lots of water, especailly hot tea or warm water with lemon in it and avoid dairy foods like milk, yogurt and such. I was amazed at the difference in my voice when I cut out chocolate milk for a week.
As for a song for a girl with a voice with a shorter range, check out Camelot, Then you may take me to the fair (You'll want a guy to help you with this one, but most of it is for the woman), or There's a fine fine line from Avenue Q, also any of Aldonza's songs from Man of La Mancha would be good for you.
(View All Other Answers.)
The Question
well I just got back from camping and about the second day into camping I started having to pee alot about mid afternoon. Like I'm talking literlly every 5 minutes I would go pee and right after I'd have to go again. So me and myf riends thought I had a bladder infection or something but it didn't really hurt. Then after we were done walking around we went and laid down for a bit and it went away then the next day we woke up and it started again and tehn it would go away but this day it started to urt a little at the end of peeing. not teh whole thing. We were drinking that weekend so we didn't know if it was from over drinking becuase we hadn't really had that much but when I drink alot of water it slows down a bit. But yah I'll go through a stage in teh day where I can't stop peeing and then it will slow down but it still hurts a little. So I don't really know what it is so if any one knows or had this hapen to them and knows how to cure it that'd be great.
The Answer
It does sounds like a bladder infection. They are common enough, just uncomfortable. But it is also the kinda thing you don't want to leave untreated because it can get worse, more painful, and even spread to your kidneys and become very serious.
So go to a clinic and get some medication asap. If it is bladder or urinary tract infection they will be able to give you something for the pain right away while they wait for the tests to come back and figure out just what to do.
(View All Other Answers.)
The Question
ok im one of the moderators I but my question is i always type in caps except for some things and i know on the rules it says for always typing in caps well im so used it does this mean i will get banned? i really dont want to i like this advice website a lot and i want to help! thanks in advance ;]
The Answer
Just don't type in caps. Maybe they will ban you and maybe not, things are in a bit of flux right now. Either way, its annoying and an insult to your intelligence. So just, don't.
(View All Other Answers.)
The Question
I am a very funky person... and unique. I stray and stray away from the average look of people in my school.
I've been looking for purple eye liner and purple mascara for a while, and I can't seem to find any. I did find some at Sephora, but it was too expensive... does anyone have any suggestions for me?
The Answer
Purple is my favorite colour! (Just look at my advice column) Having said that, it is really difficult to find purple eye liner that doesn't look icky. Everybody seems to make that light silvery mauve colour. But very few people make a nice deep purple. I'm afriad the one I use is just the cheep dollar store varity atm.
My favorite purple mascara however, is Kiss Me Mascara. Never seen it in a drug store but it's not to hard to pick up at a salon and about $13.
(View All Other Answers.)
The Question
wherever i go, i call my boyfriend before i go and tell him or he makes me feel bad
whatever i do, i call my boyfriend and tell him before i do it or he makes me feel bad
when we fight, i am given all the blame
if i want to hang out with friends, i can, but he makes me feel bad
if he is stressed out, i am feeling bad because hes telling me what i try is not enough and i should always put him before me
hes needy, and he knows it!
if im happy spending time away from him and im w/ friends, he feels bad and makes me feel bad
but he says nothings ever his fault, he cant help it if he feels bad
i am the one who has to do EVERYTHING!, because he used to do things for me in the beginning of our relaitonship but now if i dont do it, he makes me feel bad.
im always made to feel bad.
The Answer
Does he make you feel good about anything?
It certianly doesn't sounds like it. It sounds like he is a controling jackass.
Dump him, there is no reason to continue like this, don't let him guilt trip you into staying with him. He wont change. Dump him, cry it out, and move on.
You are in control of your own feelings, don't let someone 'make' you feel bad. When people are being stupid and selfish, which is percisely what he is doing, laugh at them and walk away.
(View All Other Answers.)
The Question
Me and my boyfriend (Greg)have been going out for almost 6 months.
Before I had no friends, and at the beginning of this year I started to hang out and become friends with his friends.
Then we started dating.
We are together almost all day every day,
because when I hang out with my friends, he is there too because they are his friends also.
I'm not saying I'm tired of this, I love being able to see my boyfriend all of the time. and I love him more than anything.
I can't help it if we have the same friends.
Is seeing my boyfriend every day unhealthy for the relationship?
The Answer
It's really up to you to decide if this is healthy or not. Are you getting sick of being around him this much? Is being with him so much causing pointless fights? Do you feel you need some more space? Would you like to hang out with other people, get some girl time maybe?
If you answered no, then it probably is healthy for you. Just be aware of your changes in attitude and don't be embaressed to ask for some alone time if you need it.
(View All Other Answers.)
The Question
ok this might be long but i really need advice
ok this summer i went to an over night camp for about 5 weeks and i hooked up with a guy that is 3 years older then me. we kissed and held hands and sometimes he would touch my breasts and my ass and put his hand down my pants But one night it went a little to far and we had sex then the next day he broke up with me then he left to go back to his home and i was still @ camp Then all the guys at camp were asking me outa nd stuff and it made me feel special but then this one guy asked me out lets call him bob. I really like bob alot so i went out with him and stuff then one thing led to another and stuff and we had sex and it was so good but that was my last week at camp so i went home me and all my friends always hung out @ this ark down the street from me and stuff And then ppl started asking me if i wanted to come over to their house for the night and this kid that hangs out with us letrs call him dan started to grab my but and my breasts then they all come over to my hosue and everyone left exept dan and he came one to me and started to un zip my pants and shit and i ened up giving a blowjob...then 2 nights ago i slept over my friends house because my parents were gone for a night and they didn't trust me so i was in the guestroom and i guess it was about 2am and her older brother came into my room only in his boxers and i was just in my see thru thong with no shirt on and he started dto kiss me and touch me and said take off my thong and i did *because her brother is hott) and then we had sex it was the best! and then the next morning he came into the shower with me and we had sex agian and then he told everyone and now im called a Slut but im not really Am I? and boys touch my ass and breast and try to put there hands down my pants but i don't know...if i am a slut pllz give me ways that i can not become a slut. Thanx
The Answer
Don't want to to be called a slut? Then don't have sex with random guys for fun.
If you want to keep living your life this way, then you will have to come to terms with being called a slut by many people. If these are your decisions, then hold your head high. But if you are ashamed of yourself and don't want to be a slut, then stop sleeping around.
(View All Other Answers.)