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Man Who dosent like to touch a woman
Im 23 years old and very attactive have been with my husband whos 33 for 6 years. It takes me along time to reach orgasim and can only do so my oral sex or by him touching my clitoris.
I put alot into our sex life to keep things spiced up and enjoy it but when sex is over he acts like performing any sort of "favor" for me is a chore. Ive tryed to tell him his behavior makes me feel like he dosent want to do it and only is doing so to make me happy. When Im thinking this its impossible to reach orgasim.
He dosent understand its not that hes doing the wrong thing its just how hes doing it.
Ive tried and tried to explain this to him,them women need more emotional stimulation and not just physical. I would like him to say nice things or act like he enjoys it but he acts like its just a chore to do it. I though all guys liked to touch woman. Whats the deal with this? Its so frustrating because I get aroused during sex but then when there is no release because I dont want to have him touch me as a chore I just end up feeling used.
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I'm also 23 and my husband is older so I know where you're coming from in this. This is a really touchy subject with most men. If you do say something, they usually feel inadequate. If you don't say anything, then you're miserable.
Try taking control of the situation yourself and setting aside a night for teasing. Rub him against you but don't let him orgasm. Try the cowgirl position but let him know if he moves, then you'll stop. Take his hands and place them where they'll do the most good. Once you're close to orgasm or have had one, let him take control back. I love it when we reach orgasms together. It's so much more intense, especially if we've both been holding it back.
Try some new positions. It's possible that your husband is just not hitting the right spot due to the position you're using.
If you're both comfortable with it, consider introducing some toys into sex. Most women need clitoral stimulation to have an orgasm. Buy a remote control bullet or egg, place it on your clit, then hand him the controls. That way you get the extra stimulation you need but he still feels like he's the one that brought you to orgasm.
Instead of just telling him you need more emotional stimulation, specify in what ways. Guys do better when you tell them directly. Sometimes subtle hints will get your point across. Tell him "I love you" during sex. If he gets used to you saying it, he'll probably start doing it also. When you finish, snuggle up against him and say "I love laying in your arms after we make love." He'll get the point.
One last thing you might consider. If he's getting off really fast, perhaps it's a medical problem. There are medications that can help deal with this.
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I have something, but you dont haev to believe me, my friend told me once that the only reason we get disappoint is because we put too high expectations on people, we already have an idea of what will happen and when it doesnt we get all sad and disappointed about it, so next time when you are having sex with your husband, tell yourself, just once as a reminder, that you already know whats going to happen and dont get all excited about it, then if he does something to make it look different you will be glad because it will suprise you or even make you happy, second, try marriage couseling, i would hate for you guys to get divorced just because he doesnt like to wait for u to climax as well, also once i read in a Cosmopolitan magazine that in most relationships this happens, and it can be the guy and the girl, so next time, when you are having sex, tell him that you want to be on top, and while your riding him, you can go slowlier or faster, and you will have your orgams, but dont let him have his until you had yours and he wont even know that your slowing his down, just by slowing down your movement, you should get some cosmopolitan magazines, they're a girls best friend when it comes to tips in bed, they also have a web site, www.cosmopolitan.com Hope i could help!
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Your husband is probably chalking your behavoir up to female emotional bullshit. Which is a common enough mistake. If you feel you've been as clear as you can maybe its time to get him some quotes from text books, or a professionals opinion. One or two sessions with a sex therapist may really open his eyes, as well as teach you to deal with your feelings of being used.
But here is another way to think about it. After a guy has oragasmed his whole body is telling him its time to go to sleep, so at that point getting you off does look like a chore. The most obvious answer in my mind is for you to get off first and see if that keeps him more into it, that is of course as long as you can still enjoy sex afterwards.
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You married him when you were 17?
That raises a red flag in my mind.
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i dont want to sound mean but you're 23 are you blonde? because you spelt "orgasm" wrong. it has no i. sorry...
but i think you guys should have a serious talk about this... "unhappy sex = unhappy marriage"
i really dont know what to say.
sorry
x
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