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Fights
My mom and I fight alot,and when we do it's bad. She never wants me to have any style, she wants me to buy the cheap stuff. She doesn't understand that kids do tease you if your wearing a shirt with Barbie on it. I used to be known for my style at school but since my dads paycut she wont even let me get a haircut because "It Costs Money." I know it costs money, everything does, but there are something a girl needs like shaving cream and actual razors not like those crap disposable ones. It's not like we have no money whats so ever. We're just struggling, I buy all my own clothes and things. Its gettin to the point where she wont buy my the shampoo I need or the toothpaste I need. She always insists on the cheap stuff and I'm sick of it cause we always end up fighting about it. She thinks I need a job, but what job *besides babysitting* can a 13 year old do ?!?! PLEASE HELP ME. I know its long, but I'd greatly appreciate it.
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Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Families?
You need to know where your mother is coming from, before you go storming off because you don't have the best. Be thankful that you at least still have that kind of stuff, because while here in America it might be considered a need, because we're a spoiled country, in other countrys, its just a want. You NEED a place to live and you NEED food. But if you would like to have money to buy the things like clothes so you don't get teased at school so much, then make sacrifices in other areas. Tell your mom that you'll be okay with buying the cheaper shampoo and toothpaste, razors, deoderant, brand of macaroni and cheese, whatever kind of those things, in which the more expensive brand is ACTUALLY, not that much better. Then ask her since you've been really good about that, ask her if you can get a couple new outfits. I also suggest Goodwill and other local thrift stores. They actually have some very "in" I guess you would say, clothes. Some of them are even brand new with the tags still on! If your friends are in love with what you're wearing, or how your hair smells, or anything like that, if you're comfortable enough, tell them where you got the stuff or whatever, and if you're not comfortable, just say thanks. Just remember that your parents are having to make sacrifices too, not just you. And while it feels like you're being the one thats mistreated, your parents have it a lot harder, because they're trying to provide for you and try to make you happy, while trying to find a way to balance the money. It also extra stress on them with you whining about everything, because then they might feel pressured to buy you the things you want, and then you end up with a much bigger problem than you're in. Just remeber that.
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First, understand that your family is having slight money problems. What were once convienances have now become luxuries for you and you probably need to realize that. My dad lost his job so nice stuff I used to get is gone now and we have to make due with the cheap stuff.Sure it is nice to have all that nice stuff and to have that style, but things changed and you have to change too. Be glad that you havn't lost everything and that you still have things to use like razors and shampoo and toothpaste, because believe it or not, not everyone has those things.
You can solve a lot of problems up front by stop arguing with your mom over this. Just because you cant have the stuff you want doesn't mean you need to gripe about it. Your mom is probably trying hard to save money so maybe you can have that nice stuff again, but yet you throw it back in her face because you don't have it right then. If you stop arguing with your mom and try and understand her point of view. Try putting yourself in her shoes, would you spend the money you had on nice things or would you try and conserve it so you can get more for your money? You decide.
As for your style and clothing, there are plenty of good clothes and apparel at the GoodWill store, the same stuff you would find in the mall only really cheep, create your own style and work with it, you will be surprised on how much people will like it.
Your job situation is something you can't control because you are only 13, most places require you be atleast 16 to work there because at 16 you will have transportation to work and are more readily available. And what's wrong with babysitting, it is good money earned easily. Take what job you can get because some money coming in is better than none.
Overall take my advice, you may not see it clearly but trust me it will help. Learn to value the things you got because alot of times you won't get what you want, you just have to make due with what you have.
Hope this helps and good luck with your mom, also your dad too, hope he gets a better paycheck.
-Ryan
P.S. Your needs are FAR overshadowed by your wants. Most of the time something you "need" is actually a "want".
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omfg i know what you mean!!!!! instead of buying the 3.99 bottle of shampoo she'll want u to buy the .99 bottle its bullshit i know!! but what i do is work at my restaurant but you should try selling some stuff like childhood things or babysitting deff. works. try any kind of job and ask your mom what kind of job you can get.
GOOD luck!! lol we both need that
<33 Kristen
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i would say i can relate cause my mom is always saying that she dont have any money and i have to buy my own things sometimes and most of the time i do cuz i have 3 brothers that live with me and always use everything. so i buy my own stuff. and my mom will never take me shopping for new clothes so what i could say that if people are making fun of you is they have low self esteem. and just keep your head up things will pull threw
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You need to understand that people might say things, but they're only doing it to cover up their insecurities. Just because your parents are struggling with money doesn't effect you as a person, and it shouldn't upset you.
There really aren't many jobs that you can do at your age. I'm 15 and I still am having trouble finding a job. Most places require you to have a driver's license, be 18, or some places even 21. It all depends on where you're applying to.
All I can say are to get as many recommendations as you possibly can, because that will get you hired. Make sure that you check with the people you put on your application, because getting a call out of nowhere won't make them say great things about you. Good luck!
♥ Melissa
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ok honestly you know your parents are struggling so why would you even be asking for stuff? You have to understand they want whats best for you, but quality isnt everything.Shampoo is shampoo no one knows what you use, sometimes the cheapest is the best. theres a diffrence between WANTS and NEEDS. you dont NEED EXPENSIVE STUFF. you NEED enough to get you by.
try to understand what is going on. and if you buy your own clothes then not having any style is your deal. not your mothers. Try helping out and not acting like everything has to go your way.
not being rude but think about how YOUR acting..
best wishes to your mother, and your family<3
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Your a brat.
I feel bad for your mom. She loves you, and not being able to buy you the quality things you want probably hurts her. & you are not making it any easier for her.
Sorry for being so harsh, but my advice is, get a reality check.
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Sympathize with your mother here. I'm sure she doesn't get her kicks by denying you or telling you that you can't have things. She not sitting there with her friend laughing over 20 dollar martinis "And then she asked if she could have some more toothpaste and I said No! Hehehe"
You don't *need* the best shampoo or the most expensive toothpaste. You *need* a roof over your head and food on the table, if your mother feels those things are threatened you can bet she is stressing and cutting back on way more then you are.
If there are things you really want maybe talk to her about priorties. Are you willing to eat Mac and Cheese more often in order to get your shampoo. Or maybe you can live with cheeper deoderant to get your razors.
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Maybe you need to try and see moms dilemma here and the arguments would end. When it comes to food or fancy shampoo etc. Food is gonna win. I agree with mom, if you want those things you need to find a way to pay for them yourself. I realize that as a young teenager those kind of things are important to you, but as a mom she has better uses for the extra pennies saved by getting the cheaper brands. Electricity, water, gas for the car....so many things kids tend not to think about. Don't be so hard on her because I am sure she wishes she could get you what you want. :)
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