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Razhie. Advicenators Member Since: June 13, 2005. Answers: 5077. Visitors: 211514.
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The Question
Last night i went to cousin's wedding. we were all having fun and stuff.(obeying all the rules)
but later into the night, I got risky but still being a good kid, I asked my dad if he thinks it is alright if I got some drinks. He said yes,i was now 15 and I could handle myself.
So... I drank a few glasses of wine with my parents and friends. my parents didn't object.
then I left with my friend's and got some beer.
My mom caught me drinking the beer and she got really vexxed. She said how I betrayed her trust and all sorts of crap like that.
I didn't tell her that dad said yes otherwise that would cause family disruption.
No I am in trouble for drinking 1 beer. 1!
and I want to know how I could apologize to my mom.
thanks for the tips.
The Answer
Apologise to your mother. But you owe it to everyone in your family to be honest with her. Talk to your father and explain what happened, you both need to explain yourselves to your mother. Your father thought it was appropraite, your mother didn't. This is a discussion everyone needs to have. You aren't doing anyone favors by keeping this information to yourself.
And I've got to add, a few glasses of wine and a beer is a lot of drinks for someone who hasn't really drunk before. Take care of yourself, moderation is the key to not looking like a moron.
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The Question
I was on my second peroid, and it happeed like at the 26th of june. What happens if you still have your period then its agust? does that mean that that was your period for august?? im really confused by this.
Also, the second night it was over, islept and in the morning i found alot of blood on my pj's. and then it suddently stopped an hour later is that normal? ive also sen that my dischare has been yellowish brown.. is that a sign for anything?
The Answer
Don't worry about it to much. Your body isn't actually running perfectly on calander and doesn't care what day it is. It is normal, especially for a girl who has just begun her period to have more then one in a thirty day span or even go a month without one. Your body is not on a steady cycle yet.
Bleeding during the night is normal. You have hours there for the blood to seep out, its not suprising that there was a bit.
A woman discharge often has a yellow sort of tinge to it. The last bit of blood of your period is often the oldest and deadest. It's normal for it to be a very dark red-brown colour, like dried blood.
If you are still concerned. See a doctor. There is no problem with it. Your doctor is your friend! They will make you feel better.
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The Question
i need to take all my money from one bank and transfer it into another bank (different company),can that be done without me having to go into the bank personally?
answer asap please, thank you x
The Answer
I don't live in the UK or work in a bank. It is just my opinion that it wouldn't be very smart for the banks to allow tranfer between banks without some sort of face to face contact. However, calling either bank would probably give you some insight, they might be able to do it over the phone.
And one more crazy idea. Do you have checks? Can you write a check for entire ammount of the account and cash it into the new account with the new bank?
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The Question
i wrote this poem for my boyfriend and i need some help and advice on how to make it better...
Ever since I meet you
You have been all I think about
You have been all I talk about
Your all I want in my life
You stole my heart like no other
Nobody will ever have my heart like you do
Sometimes you think I don’t like you as much as u do
You will never know how strong my feelings are for you
I don’t know if I will ever be able to explain to you how I feel about you
Day by day my love for you grows
I know I cant see you all the time
But just because I cant see your gorgeous brown eyes doesn’t mean I am not with you.
You will always have my heart with you to cheer you up
I would do anything for you
I just want to be in your arms now and forever
And I just want you to know that
No matter what happens between us weather I am your girl or not
That I will always love you
can someone help me out.. thanks
The Answer
I think it's quite a beautiful expression of love for your boyfriend. It's value or perfection as a poem is unimportant. It's for no one but him, and I'm sure he'll love it.
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The Question
okay me and my boyfriend want to have sex.we are very comfortable.But my question is can someone tell me exactly what we do..like this is gonna sound stupid but how do you have sex? lol i rate high for good advice.
The Answer
Whenever I hear a question like that I want to say that if you dont know you probably shouldn't be having sex. Not because the question sounds stupid just because it sounds so innocent.
If you are so young and so niave not to have been exposed to the endless degree of movies, songs television and conversations that are pratically instruction manuals to sex, then you are probably to young to have sex.
Also, the first time is rarely nice. No ammount of research will prepare you. Almost everyone stumbles through at first and makes mistakes. You need to have the maturity and trust to communicate very well with your partner in order to make in enjoyable. That is the best 'how to' advice I have.
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The Question
Okay, this may turn out to be long, but here it goes. My family and I go to church every Sunday, and there's this guy who's like 14 and he's really cute. I really like him and we make eye contact and everything. So I want to go up to him and ask him to go (with my parents :-( } and I dom't know what to say. So my mom suggested maybe I should try writing him a little brief note and write my name and # down. I have no idea what to write on the note, let alone what to say to him while giving him the note. I really need help on this. And I need it soon. So please help, and guys would be good for answering this question. Thanks
XcheerbabeX ♥
The Answer
There are a hunderd ways to handle this sort of thing, hopefully you'll get an answer that sounds right and okay to you. Heres how I would do it:
Write a note. A short one. "Hey I see you in church alot and hoped you might want to get togeather sometime." and add your number and name.
As for handing the note over a simple "Hi My name is ..." Would be fine. He wont want things to wierd eiher, so he'll probably strike up conversation.
Maybe even have a plan all ready to go, with your parents help. So he if he calls, or if you get into a good conversation you can just say. "Hey we are having a barbque on monday want to come? My numbers on the note we can work it out."
Good luck!
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The Question
Okay, for starters, I'm 30, male.
I've been with my girlfriend for over 6 years, she's such a sweet person and I love her, but you know the excitement of the beginning has faded.
Now there's this girl, she's our common friend and she's amazingly beautiful, she's something special. What's amazing is that she never had a stable relationship although she certainly would like to.
Now I feel something changing inside me, my way of thinking about this other girl; can it be love? I don't really know, because we're pretty different and I don't think we could have a durable relationship, but somehow I feel an overwhelming attraction for her, and I DO know sex with her would be incredible.
Being such a sensitive person as I am, I am going through a horrible time, the only thing positive being my loss of appetite; my gf has noticed it and I and I have more or less dismissed it as a temporary situaton because of work, friends and all (it's been a hard year in those aspects), but she's probably thinking there may be a relationship problem behind this.
Now what to do? Shall I tell her? this could destroy our friendship, and I would really regret that (I guess it depends on how sympathetic and understanding a person you are), but I know I could give her some of the love and attention she deserves... I am also thinking about telling my girlfriend, she deserves sincerity, but who knows where this could bring us... At the moment I am thinking about telling the other girl, just to get it off my chest; she will probably reject me, but keeping it inside is hurting me. Telling my gf is in my mind too, but I'm not sure about it.
I can't help but feel this mixture of love and attraction/lust for her, and it's killing me. I don't believe denying it would rid me completely of her. I guess you can love two people at the same time, though I never thought I'd be in this situation myself. Damn, damn heart...
The Answer
It seems to me you are living in a fantasy. Which is just grand. But isn't real. So lets play the knowing game.
You Know... you love your girlfriend, you have invested six years into this love and are going through a tough patch in your life right now. This entire thing stands to hurt your girlfriend alot, regardless of whether you are decent enough to tell her before you speak to this other woman or not.
You don't know... that this other girl feels the same way about you. That, if the sex ever happens it will in fact be any good.
You suspect... this women will regect you and you would not be able to have a long term relationship with her. And it follows, she would add you to her list of unstable relationships. So you wouldn't be giving her the love and attention she needs.
The love you feel at this stage isn't real in my opinion, it's part of the fantasy you've created around this other woman. Six years with your girlfriend is real. A completely real person with flaws and dirty underwear and bad habits.
Maybe you do need to speak to the other woman just to face the reality of your sitiuation. Maybe, for reasons we don't have here, the love with your girlfriend has died. But as far as I see it, the courses of action you considering right now are only going to end with you looking like a jerk.
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The Question
ok so i have been going out with my boyfriend for almost 8 months... and last week i went over his house and then we went to the pool..my mom told my dad that he needed to pick me up at 5:30..my dad actually came kinda early at around 4:45!!! so i was out of the pool and me and jared(my bf) were laying on the lawn chair together.. my leg was in between his legs and when i saw my dad i totally freaked out!! 2 days later at nite my bf called and my dad picked up the fone and told me to get off the fone!!! now i can't even talk to my bf!! and my mom is saying things like how my dad doesnt want me to see jared nemore!! and my dad had a chat with me in the car on the way home and he sed i looked like a SLUT!!! i love jared soooo much and i dont think i can take wut my parents a pressuring me to do!! and i cant just not talk to jared!!!
please please please help me!!!!
thanks!!
The Answer
Have some sympathy with you parents hun. This is as hard from them as it is for you. Your father isn't trying to make you miserable, he is trying to protect you. I don't even live at home anymore and my father still acts menacingly around my boyfriend.
Talk to your parents about thier fears and be honest. They are afriad you are uninformed, immature and irresponsible, Telling them how much you love this guy and need to talk to them isn't gonna help you here, it only makes you sound silly to them and makes them worry more!
Insteed tell them how much thier distrust is hurting you and how you don't want to be called things like a slut. This isn't about you and your boyfriend, this is about your relationship with your parents, be ready to compromise with them. Thier trust and support is one of the more precious things you will have in your life.
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The Question
Hey advicenators!! I need help on motivation:
well over the summer we need to read two books and do a book report on one of them. My school starts the 29 of aug. and i still havnt started either of my books. Im usually really good with this stuff and get it done before the first month of summer. But this year i just cant find motivation cuz the books suck and are boring. I dont want to have a bad fist impression on my teachers and not have it all done by the first week of school!! What do you suggest?? what can i do to motivate myself?
The Answer
Set aside time every day to work. At this point maybe an hour a day where all you do is read or work on the report. Early in the morning or first thing after lunch or dinner might help. Stick a note up someplace visable to remind you and maybe reward yourself for each chapter read.
Also, don't be ashamed to ask your family for help. Tell your mom you have to work each day on this and would be grateful if she would remind you and ask you if you have. Hey, maybe even tell her you aren't allowed to watch tv or have dessert or something, untill you have put the hour of work in. Your parents will really respect your effort too, and can help make sure you get the time and quiet study space you need.
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The Question
My husband is often up until 2-3 in the morning using the internet. I am curious as to what he is looking at. It's usually video game message boards, but I have a feeling he is hiding something. I may be completely wrong, it's just a feeling. I tried reviewing the history, but it is set up to atomatically delete on our computer. Is there anywhere else I review the history. Or am I stepping over the line even trying to find out?
The Answer
In my opinion this kind of stealth maneuver is crossing the line. However it concerns me much more that your question doesn't even list talking to your husband as an option.
You don't need to accuse him, just tell him you are concerned is enough. Stick to your issue, whatever it may be. Are you afraid of infidelity? Are you feeling neglected? Or are just generally fearful in the relationship?
Your feelings are real, even if what you fear is not. Your husband should be able to respect that and offer you some reassurances. If your fears persist, or he is unable to recognize your feelings, get some counseling right away.
Please remember that you don't have control over your husbands behavior or choices, only your own. So behave in a way that you can continue to love and respect yourself, even if the people close to you fail to do that.
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The Question
16/f Ever since I started highschool, things changed with friends. My friends were disloyal, saying things about me, and just hurt my feelings in every way they could think of.
I was very close with this one girl, Chelsea. She was my best friend, we did EVERYTHING together. We were like sisters. Well, something happened that I don't want to get into and she and I are no longer friends. Along with losing her as my friend, everyone that was friends with her and me at the time turned on me.
I do have FRIENDS, but I want to have close friends. I was always the kind of person that people could count on, a shoulder to cry on. Most people took advantage of that and I sort of turned into someone they could walk all over. I started becoming more asertive and I guess I started pushing people away. I'm litterly to the point where I have NO friends in my school.
I only have one best friend, Amanda but she doesn't go to the same school as me. And, I have my boyfriend. But he doesn't go to the same school as me either. And I think to myself, what if I end up losing both of them? I'll really have no one I can count on.
I just want to leave my school, go to a new school and start from scratch. Where no one knows me.
My question is, how do I get out there, and try to make friends? I want a friend that I can have sleepovers with, come to with my problems.. Someone I can really TRUST. And how do I change so that I'm not as asertive towards people?
The Answer
I went through a similar transition in highschool, mostly between 10 and 11th grade, as all the friends from before made big changes. And I've watched my yonger siblings go through the same thing. In the end, the friendships left were stronger, and the new ones we developed have lasted far longer.
Just like your old friends you have chossen to change, to become more assertive and stronger, which is fantastic! But its no suprise that with the maturing and evolving you that old friendships have gone sour.
It's a careful balance not being to bitchy at the same time as not being a doormat, and this is the time where you learn the difference (Go you! Lots of people never learn the difference.)
Don't rush into the decision to transfer schools. It might be better to look around you, figure out which friendships are worth saving and which people are worth persuing as friends. Be the kind of friend you would want to have, to everyone! You'll be shocked just how quickly that will attract like minded people to you. Make sure you get what you need from your frienships, but also make sure to give what your friend needs too.
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The Question
has anyone ever been to a raintree restaurant (the one i heard of was in chagrin falls) how fancy is it? should me and my boyfriend dress up? what is it like?
The Answer
This is one of those times when google is your friend.
A link to a review of the raintree resturant in chagrin falls.
http://www.pluggedincleveland.com/restaurants/1580+raintree.html
A simple glance will tell you this a spiffy place. Although not worthy of the dress you wore to prom, definately a tasteful skirt and blouse and a tidy look would be apropriate.
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The Question
OK my ex boyfriend calls me everyday to talk about his day. He slips in a sentence about me and him then he talks about his girlfriends. Yes that is plural. He has more than 1. He asks me to rate him on how hot he is on a scale from 1-10. I rate him a 7 and a half. He has a nice body but he's not niice to me when we date. This guy, does he still like me or not? I rate! Sorry so long. We had a relationship for 2 months before I found out he cheated on me.
The Answer
This guy is a jerk. If I were you I'd be hoping agianst hope that he doesn't like me. He thinks he is a player and he uses you to stroke his inflated ego by telling him he is hot and listening to his exploits with his other chicks.
Stop letting him use you, unless you only want to be another one of his girls hanging on to him. If you want anything serious at all, let him go, he doesn't know how to be responsible or serious.
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The Question
Me and my boyfriend have been going out for almost three months. He lives a town away from me, but we still barely ever see each other, and for some reason he barely calls anymore. What do i do to make myself feel better about the relationship?
The Answer
You haven't said what you are doing about this. Are you trying to see him, call him, email him or anything at all? Doesn't sounds like much of a relationship to me, unless both of your are willing to put in the effort to make it work.
You aren't getting what you want from this. If you want to make yourself feel better about this relationship I'd suggest not being in it anymore.
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The Question
im noticing im growing hair around my vag. is that normal? what does it mean?
The Answer
It is normal, and it means you are growning up. Some women get pretty furry down there too. Lots of older women shave it off, and some like to leave it.
Anyways, hair in new places is just part of the new you. Relax.
*It doesn't mean you'll get your period really soon, it's probably still a while off. The two things aren't closely related*
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The Question
well 13 months ago my doctor said i was gonna get my period in 6 months to a year.. but then a year passed and i still hadn't gotten it.. and then i went to my physical 13 months later and the doctor said another 6 months to a year.. but ive gotten like everything such as my growth spurt pubic hair.. vaginal discharge.. etc. but im active.. cauz im a runner... but i haven't ran since the end of may cauz i have an injury.. so i know like you shouldn't want your period or w/e.. but i just wanna get it over with because all of my friends have it except me and i feel so left out.. and my best friend just hers and she says she won't feel comfortable talking about it with me until i got mine.. so i feel so bad.. when do you think i'll get mine??.. do you think i'll have to wait another year??
The Answer
Seriously, don't be in a rush to get a painfully, bloody, kinda smelly cramps once each month. It's something I would gladly live without. I know you are egar for this next step into womanhood, but if the doctor doesn't see anything wrong with you, then your body is developing as it should and your period will come when it comes.
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The Question
I KNOW THIS IS LONG.. BUT I REALLY NEED HELP AND ILL RATE 5'S FOR EVERYONE NO MATTER WHAT.. I PROMISE!!
Well i have these two friends... nd lets say their names are Bob and Rob.. well ive been good friends with bob longer than i have with Rob.. Both Rob and Bob are a lil chunky.. but they're not Fat.. So me Rob and Bob became a group this year.. and ive always felt like i fit in until one day rob was me and bob are fat.. nd we hate pool partys.. and we have something against skinny people cauz we're jealous of them.. so i was like you guys aren't fat.. nd since im like a twig,.. i got offended and i was like well now im gonna feel uncomfortable in the pool with you guys since we're gonna be in bathing suits.. and rob didn't answer.. so since bob is my best friend i decided to talk to her about it.. so i told her how i felt.. and im like its not like you guys excercise or try to loose weight.. so then we straightened it out... but rob and bob want to go shopping together and rob doesn't wanna invite me cauz im skinny.. i mean i understand how they feel but now i feel like rob feels more comfortable around bob and i feel like rob and bob are friends and im not part of the group anymore.. i mean i wouldn't consider rob my best friend... cauz she's not my type of person.. nd now bob is like turning into rob.. like they use the same font colors and fonts on AIM and bob started listening to rock just like rob.. and now whenever we're together and we talk about clothes.. bobs like Lisa your such a twig you can fit into abercrombie.. and the way she says it, it hurts my feelings.. so like rob has bob brain washed practically and i hate the way she's acting now like all punk and into rock or watever and like how she's saying .. i hate you, your so skinny.. its not my fault im skinny.. im a runner.. and ive been skinny all my life cauz its in my genes and ive been doing sports since i was like 2.. so i dunno wat to do.. please help
The Answer
Your friends probably feel they aren't doing anything wrong, cause in thier minds, the skinny people get everything! They are more popular, more attractive, and happier. It's not true. But it is an image we get feed alot.
It's time to tell them, that the same way you wouldn't tease them, or say nasty things about them about having blue eyes or black hair, they shouldn't tease you about being skinny. It isn't right for them to take out thier anger on you for something out of your control if they are your friends.
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The Question
Ok I have this guy friend and all my friends say he likes me and I like him to but I want to know if he does because we all think he likes my other friend to.How can I find out???
The Answer
Ask him.
This question always makes me laugh. No one is mind reader, there is no secret question that will reveal all to you. There is no code. He wont blink three times, scratch his nose and look at his watch to let you know he's into you.
Girls have just as much power to make the first move as guys do. Never complain that the guy doesn't have the courage to just tell you he is interested if you don't have the courage either.
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The Question
Im 14/f and i just got back from a vacation with my family and my friend. well my friend is gay and is four years older than me and i am completely like head over heels in love with him! i got to sleep like right next to him and we took long walks in the park together and stayed up all night just having fun. he is not the most attractive person but he has the beest personality in the whole world!! the only thing is that i cant hold it in ne more i need him! i masterbate to him and everything! i mean what should i do?
The Answer
The best guys in the world always seem to be gay...
Anyways, you really don't sounds like you are in love to me. You sound like you are in some serious lust. Which is too bad, becaues this guy might care alot for you, but a gay guy will never lust after you.
Lots of girls have crushes on gay guys cause they are 'safe'. Nothing can come of it. Maybe you already know that, nows the time to accept and look for a guy who can return your passion.
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The Question
Why are boys so... i dont even know what word to use.. i mean they tell you they love you just to get in your pants! and they are sooo confusing, they bring so much pain but i still want them! ... grrr, am i making any sense? all i truley want is this...
i want a boy---
who can wrestle with me
and let me win.
who i can talk to about anything.
who laughs at my jokes.
a boy who puts my cold hands
in his warm hoodie pockets.
who lets me use his sweatshirt
for a pillow.
who buys me 25 cent rings,
and sticky hands.
who says i love you & means it.
who will kiss me in the rain,
in the sunshine, and in the snow.
who calls unexpectedly.
who will have many inside jokes
with me and remember each one.
a boy who notices girl's haircuts.
who realizes that girls say things
but dont always mean them.
who i can go swimming with
on hot days.
who can tell me his problems
and let me help.
who will listen to me talk--
about the new nail polish i got.
who will bring me seashells
from the beach.
who will let me beat him up
when i get angry.
who writes love letters to me,
but doesn't send them.
who draws pictures and slips them
gently into my locker slot.
who saves his genuine, big smiles for me.
a boy with deep eyes,
that can see through faces into depths.
who wears baseball hats and
lets me wear his too.
who gives me his t-shirt to change into
and not expect to get it back.
who knows my favorite color, song,
car, vegetable, perfume and
the color of my toothbrush.
a boy who will shake my dad's handand look my mother in the eye.
who will call me by my full name--
first, middle and last.
a boy who will kiss me and
tell me i'm beautiful.
a boy who will let me cry to him.
who will squeeze my hips just right.
who suprises me and compliments
my manicure and plays with my hair.
who knows when i have a math test
or when i fail one.
a boy who smells like
he just stepped out of the shower.
who tells me i have a nice laugh,
and a smile that lights up the room.
a boy who's simply mine to hold."
that is exactly what i want!
why cant i get that?
The Answer
Well, first off, thats a long list. Like, what if your guy doesn't wear hoodies or baseball caps. Gonna cut him off just for that.
I applaud you knowing what you want though and not settling. Until I got to university I thought the same way about guys, most of the ones I knew were just immature and blah. But they do get better, and it can happen for you! Just keep holding out hope and ever more importantly, become the kind of girl such a fabouslas guy would want to be with!
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