about

I'm Jack/Jamie.

I'm 28 years old. I graduated from Michigan State University with my Bachelor of Science in Chemistry. GO GREEN! Now I'm a high school chemistry teacher in New York City living with my husband in a small studio apartment we pay way too much money for.

I've been on this site for 14 years as of March 23, 2020.
You may have seen me as CuxMiBeckNow7, but I've since shortened my name.


my forum
My FAQ






Here is my Recommended Columnist of the Decade for the 2020s:
Laura!




--Jack

advice

Hey,
I was just wondering;
what does it mean if myboyfriend calls other girls (like sisters and friends, ect) my name accidentally?
He loves me a lot, and i find it cute but why does he do that accidentally?

:) Thanks

Maybe he's always thinking about you?

Common mistake, I always call my two best friends the other person's name. It just happens.

--Jack
(17/m)

[view]

Okay, well I wasn't really sure where to put this but uh here goes. So I'm 13/F and he was 14/M. He is an awesome friend but he's always been a perv. Anyway, he took it too far this time and I flipped out. We were walking in a group and some other guys that we were with were making fun of him about how he "can't get a girl" and he says "I can get any girl I want!" so he grabs me, pins me against a wall, and sticks his hand down my pants. I freaked and kicked him in the balls... He looked like he was in severe pain. I almost felt bad but not really cuz what did he expect? But now he's super pissed at me. I don't think he has a right! Does anyone else think I was out of line?

I'm kind of upset at what the columnist below said, because never really "deserve a good kick in the balls", because girls don't understand how much it hurts. Like, imagine having an elephant step on you repeatedly, and it still hurts more than that.

Anyway, he certainly shouldn't have done what he did, but maybe next time a slap would suffice.

I would apologize for kicking him there, though he did deserve some sort of punishment for doing what he did. Be the bigger person.

--Jack
(17/m)

[view]

This is so long and i feel really bad.. everyone will get a 5 for taking the time to read and try to help me out!

Its so frusterating. I think it started when I was younger.. like in elementary school sometimes people would block the bottom of the tube slides during recess on the playground and I'd be in the middle as more people would slide down. Stuck. I still remember how it felt.. like it became hard to breathe and everything cause I was closed in. I mean its not like there wasn't air coming in. but it wasn't in a comfortable position, I couldn't get out, and there wasn't much space around me.

But I don't know. I can ride air planes fine, I can normally ride in cars, and buses fine as well. But my mom has the Honda Odyssey. its a minivan, and it has a middle seat that can be taken out or put back in. my cousins are here so we put it in cause we need the extra seat. I'm 15 years old by the way, and I just can't sit in the back. Cause its all closed in and there are no doors around it for me to be able to get out. Once I tried sitting in the back, when the car was still new. My mom got the car like 2 years ago. my other cousins were there and it wasn't THAT bad but I didnt like it. but then another time we were leaving for a long trip from NJ to Maryland. I just couldn't sit in the back even when there was a way older guy who would typically sit in the middle (someone else was sitting in the passenger seat in the front). like i was crying and everything.. we were about to leave and i was having difficulty breathing too. and everyone was just so mean about it. like my mom, my sister, and my uncle. they were like "why cant you just sit there?" like wtf they just dont understand! my mom only let me sit in the middle when she remembered when one of her friends had a scan.. i think the MRI or something where you had to sit in that confined space. like the friend thought it wouldnt be bad but realized how bad it was and decided to get knocked out for it instead.

but it just sucks how they need something like that to be able to understand.. like I dont know. Its the same thing as before. with everyone sitting in front of me.. its like Im trapped. like i can imagine it right now ugh it would just be horrible. i dont know how to say it. like i think they think im just making it up so i dont sit in the back cause im bad at explaining it. like the cousins who are at my house now its like everytime we are going into the car i have to explain why i cant sit back there. i mean i can sit in the back when the middle seat isn't there. that isnt a problem. but i just hate having to explain it all everytime and think back to why i cant do it.

my other cousin who stayed home just told me that im gonna have to like get over it. but like its hard to explain it to her too. she thinks i should be claustrophobic when im in taxis or buses, or surrounded by a lot of people too. but im not. in taxis or buses the door is right there. and when im surrounded by people, there is so much open space around me. i can shove through people if i wanted to move from them too.

i mean even when i sat in the back of my mom's minivan w/o the seat in the middle of the middle seats.. w/ my cousins and siblings in the car as well.. like i needed to have the air conditioning on like blowing in my face at one point. its like a desperate thing.. i need it right now or i start to have trouble breathing and i take deep breaths. i take deep breaths sometimes anyways in like general situations.. i dunno, sometimes i just feel like im not getting much air. like in my room sometimes.. it was mostly during 4th - 7th grade. i feel like im not getting good air so i have to open up the window and breathe deeply for a few mins. and then i'd leave it open.

today i couldn't go to this party because my older cousin, Mark*, who would normally be sitting in the backseat chose to sat in the middle. he didnt even have any problem with sitting in the back. he just kept asking me why i couldnt sit there. and ive told them before. i told him it made me uncomfortable. we were running late and my mom just drove off and offered the backseat but i refused. i've told them before that i'd stay home instead. i can imagine it now.. i would have had to switch seats not too long from the time we left. they would have kept telling me that i dont know, maybe im making it up or something. nobody likes sitting in the back in general. they are just insensitive to it. i cant explain it to them, they just dont understand. Mark didnt want to move. him and my sister are pretty tall so its not good for their legs i think, to sit there. my other cousin, Emily* sat in the front cause she recently got foot surgery, my tall sister sat in the middle cause it hurts her legs to sit in the back (shes tall too), and my little bro sits in the middle cause thats where his car seat has to be. another cousin, Amy*, sat in the back and she was the only one there. it just made me upset.. im upset right now, Mark could have sat in the back but didnt. i mean people are afraid of a lot of things.. a lot of things are irrational too. but if you dont understand it.. like i just dont see why they couldn't try to sympasize or something. like they know what claustrophobia is. idont even know if i have it, but it seems like i does from what i just read of the symptoms right now. i mean its not the only time i experience anxiety in general. i used to experience a noteable amount of anxiety.. like during 4th - 7th grade. i dont even know why. it was hard to explain too. like why like i remember in 6th grade where i kept having to look behind me.. like even during school i'd do it. to see if someone was behind me. even if i knew no one was there i just had to keep checking. to the point where my neck would hurt. or like i'd have to keep checking to see if all doors were locked at night, and i'd keep checking to see if i turned the light off all the way because i was afraid that if it was half way or something it could make sparks and cause a fire. or even when i was even younger i remember being afraid of putting soap over my eyes in the bath cause i imagined like some monster coming out of nowhere to get me when my eyes were closed. like it really felt like it was there. i still feel that occasionally. not as much anymore but yeah. i dont even have scary dreams or anything. like more with anxiety.. i felt uncomfortable with certain things socially. like i used to even be afraid of getting up to sharpen my pencil. when i was younger like in elementary school. like sometimes i'd walk funny or like i'd always be concerned like with what people were thinking even though they probably werent thinking much cause when i think of other people like you know you dont think that deeply and all. and you are your harshest critic.

but it also hurt me like in the sense that i cant express myself fully. i have a fear of rejection and i always want to show my best side to others. like on Y!A its so much easier since its anonymous but i've never had a friend that i could say so much to. the most i've been able to talk about with is my mom but there are still a lot of things i haven't been able to say. i wish i could get a good enough friend like i am to other people. it always seems like i do so much like.. i really care about their problems and all you know. and i dont know anyone like me like with my sense of humor, music taste, and everything. sometimes theres one thing in someone else that we'd have in common, like music, but we cant get along otherwise. its just dissapointing.. i've only had 3 people i'd count as best friends and that was in 4th grade. it just seems like 5th grade til now have been like an open field and i hate it. im not like depressed or suicidal.. im actually really optimisic. always dreaming. like im not even sure that if my life currently was sucking i'd be able to tell. my life doesn't suck, im grateful for a lot of things and all.

like i dont really do much and all now. ugh enough with that, im venturing off the topic, sorry. i have issues with overtalkativeness too, heh.

anyways, if anyone had a problem like that.. like say one of my friends had a phobia of centipedes. i hate centipedes as well but i can still kill one. like i'd be sensitive about that and not be like "your just exagerating and just doing it so you dont have to kill it." like i guess you just dont really know. so just have the benefit of the doubt you know, if it really wont harm you to do it. like i dont know what to do about my situation if it gets worse. i just hate explaining it. i dont know how to make it not sound fake. how to make it sound right. like me saying "it makes me feel uncomfortable" like ugh that just doesnt work. i dont know how to be certain i have claustrophobia too or i dont know. I didnt want to attempt to solve it tonight either.. and probably fail.

ugh please help me and sorry for this ridiculously huge question

*Name has been changed.

I'm not a doctor, but it sounds like a form of claustrophobia. I think I have claustrophobia, but not really extreme, and it doesn't worry me enough to get it checked out.

I would see a doctor or a psychologist to figure out if you really might have it, because we're not doctors, except a small portion of us.

--Jack
(17/m)

[view]

okay so recently i've been hanging out with my ex. things have been going pretty gooddd. i went over and we played catch outside and listened to music, it was chill and i think we both had fun :) he was doing things like hitting my butt (joking around not in a perverted way) then when i had to leave he asked if he could come with me and he asked his mom but she said no =/ (i heard him pretty much beg her and he was getting into an argument over it) so i left and he gave me a big hug. what do you guys think? we broke up about 3 months ago if that matters.

I would talk to him about it.

If you both are having feelings that you like each other still, maybe you should still be together.

But, maybe he just really likes your friendship. Maybe he's just happy that you're friends after breaking up. I know that I personally like being friends with exes, because animosity is no fun, because it brings on unnecessary drama.

Talking to him will help you both know where you two stand.

--Jack
(17/m)

[view]

Alright, this seems like a really stupid question but I've never really been in a relationship before. I have a friend that recently I've begun to like in "that way." I'm somewhat getting signals that she may like me too. Anyway, what I'm asking is how do I go about talking to her about becoming my girlfriend? We hang out and stuff, so I'm not sure whether to just profess my feeling towards her which could get awkward, or ask her if she likes me, or what?

I would tell her how you feel.

She might feel the same way. I would just ease into it in conversation, and just tell her exactly how you feel, because it will feel really good to get your feelings out in the open.

--Jack
(17/m)

[view]

\So there's this guy. I don't have any feelings for him at all, honestly. He's just really nice to me and we could be friends. But there's something he does that really annoys/confuses me. I want to know what he thinks of me.

During class, he's always calling my name and like whenever I'm in the hallway and he's behind me, he catches up to me just to talk to me. Sometimes he even ignores his friends for me.

Sometimes I ignore him but he insists on talking to me. And like usually when we talk I think he's fun and easy to talk to. He also does this to another girl in my class, Sarah. He is closer to Sarah than he is to me. He has a grlfriend too, Mimi.

Okay so here is the problem. I don't mind that he has a girlfriend and a girl friend that he's close to. I don't have feelings for this guy. If it matters, I used to have a crush on him and I told him after I got over it. It didn't affect him, so I don't think that's important.

But the problem is sometimes when we talk I think he's really annoying because he brings up Mimi and Sarah, right? And he's like, "You know, Mimi is so perfect. She's so frikking cute."
Like, literally, out of nowhere. We aren't talking about relationships, crushes, or who we prefer or ANYTHING. We could be talking about a movie or a celebrity or something funny that happened in class that has nothing related to Mimi or Sarah and all of a sudden he goes, "Sarah is so pretty and cute. So cute." It's like, why are you telling me this?

Whenever this happens, I pretend I don't mind and go, "Yeah, she is adorable!" and then like get quiet because I don't know what else to say.

To be honest, I find it insulting that he brings up girls in my conversations. I know he doesn't talk about me that way to Sarah or Mimi. I don't mind if he does, but, c'mon guys, you wouldn't like it if your girl friend (just a friend) talks to you constantly about other guys.

So should I stop talking to him? It's getting on ym nerves. He's nice and all, but is he disrespecting me? What do you, a guy, think is on his mind when he does this? Maybe I'm overthinking it??

I agree with the other columnists below.

I think he's either trying to make you jealous, which is most likely what is happening, or he's just really bored and doesn't know what to talk about except how cute other girls are.

I think it's the jealous thing.

I would just stop talking to him, because he's using you, Sarah, and Mimi.

--Jack
(17/m)

[view]

i have been with my boyfriend for 6 months, and i was wondering, if you were going to get a present from your girlfriend, would you want a photoalbum?

Guys, please answer truthfuly. And girls, id like past experiences or stuff. Thank you so much. Im so nervous he wont like it =[

My sister did something like this for her boyfriend like three years ago.

He liked it.

I would like it.

Obviously asking him would give it away, so ask his mom or his friends if they think he'd like it.

--Jack
(17/m)

[view]

DO you think its ok for your boyfriend to have a girl "friend", where he went to her house ONCE,without your permission,and you never meet her before?

Your boyfriend doesn't need your "permission" to have friends, and if that's your idea of a relationship, you're sadly mistaken.

Sure, it's kind of sneaky, and he maybe should have let you know it was just a friend and he was hanging out with her. He is allowed to have friends.

If you have a problem with it, talk to him.

--Jack
(17/m)

[view]

I totally love playing the Sims (I have the original just Sims, Sims 2 + expansions, AND Sims 3) but I was wondering if there are any other games like the Sims that I could look into playing. Does anybody know of any?

Doesn't have to be on the computer either! :D

They're kind of like the Sims, but:

-Mall Tycoon
-Roller Coaster Tycoon
-Sim City


Stuff like that? I think they're made by the same people?

--Jack
(17/m)

[view]

My 5 year long relationship has come to an end, and now I'm scared that I won't be able to find anybody else that would want me.

I suppose the bigger problem is that I have a hard time trusting in people, and yet I need somebody to love me. I just don't know what I'm going to do.

How do I meet good guys and show them I'm interested (assuming I find a decent guy in the beginning)? I'm so lost and scared that this is the end for me and guys. Any advice on how to get over this bump in the road?

First of all, take a break from guys, because maybe that will ease your mind.

As for getting back into the dating scene, just go with the flow; rushing into a relationship isn't the best idea. Be patient and the right guy will come.


Inbox me if you have more questions.

--Jack
(17/m)

[view]

Guys, please explain to me why after hooking up interest is lost so quickly. Is there a way to bring that interest back? Why after hooking up with a woman too quickly, men usually lose interest completely? What goes through your minds the next day after that quickly? This has happened to me time and time again! I hook up with a guy that I really like and who seems to like me and then he stops talking to me, won't answer his phone, won't reply to my emails anymore, etc. What do guys think after they hook-up with a girl that makes them not want to see/talk to her again? It makes me feel like trash.

I don't really know because I haven't been through that, and I don't plan to.

But I have an idea. Maybe it's because the "chase" is over and he got what he wanted, so now he's not interested in it anymore.

That's really the only reason I can think of.

--Jack
(17/m)

[view]

Um....what happens when you have sex? what does the guy like you to do? how does he like you to do it?

If you have to ask, you probably aren't old enough to know. Haven't you learned in school?

Without being too explicit, the penis goes in the vagina until climax is reached.

If you're with a guy, ask him what he's comfortable with and let him know what you're comfortable with.

Please, if you're going to have sex, practice safe sex, to prevent STDs.

--Jack
(17/m)

[view]

Sorry I'm not sure if this is under the right category.. But along with my question. I lost a book of mine about 4 months ago and I still can't find it. Believe me, I tried eHow, google, and I also read the whole thing about "Finding Lost Objects by Professor Soloman" or something along the lines of that. My book is Hardcover and is about 400 pages? I checked behind my (kinda) shelf, box, everywhere. I made sure it wasn't confused with paper backs. I still can't find it. For those who lost a book, where did you find it? Or maybe can you give me some tips on where it may be? (Its not in the car because I don't read in the car, and its not in my bag either).
Thanks a whollleeeee bunch !

Do you remember the last place you've had it?

Maybe it's there.

Something I've tried is to stop looking for it, because it seems that the more you look for it, the harder it gets to find it. Try not looking for it for a week or so? Maybe it will turn up.

If it has never left your house, it's either still there, or it was accidentally thrown away. Ask your family if they threw it away or not. I know throwing away a book sounds... odd, but I've had weirder things thrown away on accident, like clothes, stuffed animals, and the like.

If it's left the house, maybe it's at a friend's house? Ask your friends.

--Jack
(17/m)

[view]

http://littlebutterfy09.weebly.com/index.html Please let me know what you think and there are things i like put about me what kind of thing was get people interess more?
thanks

I remember you!

I've answered a few of your questions before.

I really like the words that describe you, I don't remember what page that was, but that is a nice addition.

I think last time you asked, I said something about adding your favorite YouTube videos?

You could just add the link if you can't embed it.

--Jack
(17/m)

[view]

Hey i have been listening to the backstreet boys a lot lately and i was taking with my friend and we were wondering if they were cute and what they looked like. So i wanted to know how old they were because all they picture i have seen of them look like old pictures. so then i went on wikianswers and someone told me there ages but i didnt say how long ago the answer was put there so plz tell how old they are and i will be so happy thx!!

Howie Dorough is 35.
Brian Littrell is 34.
A. J. McLean is 31.
Nick Carter is 29.


--Jack
(17/m)

[view]

What does 'The Plot Thickens' mean?

It means the situation gets more and more complex and difficult.

From http://www.usingenglish.com/reference/idioms/the+plot+thickens.html:

When the plot thickens, a situation become more complicated and difficult.


There you go.

--Jack
(17/m)

[view]

okay so me and this guy have been off and on since 7th grade, we're juniors now. we recently got back together, and everything was fine. he told me that he wanted to make it work this time and he still loved me and all this stuff, then outta the blue he told me he didn't mean to "dick me over again" but he wasn't going to have time for me because of his job, which is only the summer, and that i could get with other people.. i have no idea what to do, i want to be with him.. and he claims he wants to be with me idk if he really dosent have time, or its just another lame excuse idk what to do should i just forget him and finnally move on? or wait it out.

Forget him and move on.

If a guy says that he "doesn't have time" for you, that means he either really doesn't and doesn't want to be unfair to you, or he just doesn't want to be with you.

It depends on the guy, but it sounds like this keeps happening, so I would find someone else, or just stay single for awhile.

--Jack
(17/m)

[view]

So, I'm thinking about some ideas for creating my own social website. I need opinions though based on other websites similar to my idea and was hoping that some people here could help me out so I don't have to sign up for the ones I don't use and become active on ones I no longer use.

Question of the day is:

What do you and don't you like about Facebook?
What can be improved on Facebook? How can Facebook improve that specific flaw (or, alternatively, can it NOT be improved for certain reasons) in your opinion?

Official Facebook users only please!

Thank you so much, Advicenators! :D

{ To answer my question about MySpace, please see:

http://www.advicenators.com/qview.php?q=566118 }

What do I like? I like that it's easy to stay in touch with people. I like pictures and being able to tag people in them. I like writing notes and tagging people in them.


What do I not like? I don't like stupid applications that I never use. I don't like stupid "Top 5 things" quizzes. I don't like all the stupid crap that clutters up the page.

How can Facebook improve that? Get rid of the stupid apps completely. Get rid of stupid quizzes.


Facebook makes me like Twitter because Twitter is like Facebook but only with updates and messages. So that's cool.

--Jack
(17/m)

[view]

does anyone know of the site called fantage? if you join this site, give them your email and everything, do you have to pay for it? Like when you join.. ?
THANKS :)

It looks like you have to pay, unfortunately.

--Jack
(17/m)

[view]

so my boyfriend and i have been together for about 3 years and we have lived together for a long time now too. so today i came home from work and went on his computer and for some reason started browsing through his internet history. i realized that he had been looking at tons of porn sights and had especially clicked on manyyy pictures of hott girls around my age that they took of themselves. i dont mind if he watches porn or things like that.. i think that is normal all guys do that.. but there were so many pictures of girls my age- not pornos, just pictures of them naked... is this weird? or am i overreacting and this is normal? i dont want to bring it up and make a big deal of it if it is just guys looking at girls.. i dont know. what do you think?

I think you should talk to him about it. Maybe it means nothing, or maybe it means something.

But running scenarios and whatnot through your head instead of just talking to him isn't going to get you anywhere. Relationships need to be based on good communication, so you should be able to talk to him about it. But realize that you DID invade his personal space, which he is entitled to.

--Jack
(17/m)

[view]

<<< Previous Advice Column
Next Advice Column >>>
eXTReMe Tracker