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What goes through a guy's mind after he hooks up with a girl?
Guys, please explain to me why after hooking up interest is lost so quickly. Is there a way to bring that interest back? Why after hooking up with a woman too quickly, men usually lose interest completely? What goes through your minds the next day after that quickly? This has happened to me time and time again! I hook up with a guy that I really like and who seems to like me and then he stops talking to me, won't answer his phone, won't reply to my emails anymore, etc. What do guys think after they hook-up with a girl that makes them not want to see/talk to her again? It makes me feel like trash.
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Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
Hmm. How to explain this.
I have slept with a few girls whom I didn't call back after. Usually, what ended up happening is sex was basically handed to me on a silver platter. I was single, horny, and didn't have a particular reason to say no.
There never was an interest in those cases to begin with. But when a girl came onto me, judgement lapses meant that I allowed it to happen. Even when I was stupid enough to try to "be clear that it was just sex" I should have known that probably wasn't the case.
For the record, I don't do shit like that anymore.
Hooking up is not something you do to generate interest, and its not something you immediately if you want more than just the physical with someone. Doesn't matter if you're fucking them or just making out randomly at a party (since I know teens decided to adopt the term and use it for any casual physical interactions, not just casual sex) if you're doing something like that its intended to be casual.
The flirting game is about more than just generating interest. Its part of an evauluation process where people figure out if they want to be interested in each other.
I know that it "seems" like guys want to hook up (and, well, yes we often do) but that doesn't mean that its the best way to get with one of us. When you involve the physical too early, unless the guy is already definitely interested in more, he isn't going to pursue it. Even then, if you start a relationship based on sex its almost always doomed to failure. Very few people have the maturity to start a relationship with others when sex is immediately involved, even as adults.
You're assuming that you did something wrong to make them not be interested, the fact is that they more than likely never were in the first place. Whatever signs you're reading into "they like me" is actually just physical attraction.
Your criteria is shallow, and so are theres. When two shallow people interact, the interactions themselves are shallow. Thats the essence of hooking up, the person you're with is just a placeholder, you don't give a shit who they are as long as you can find them attractive in the moment and can get laid or whatever it is you're doing with them. Its shallow because the conditions are easily satisfied, all that has to exist is mutual physical attraction and the ability to tolerate each other for very short periods of time.
You want more? Go deeper. Actually go through the dating process, make a guy prove that he wants more than sex before you provide it. The sad fact is that at your age (under 20, probably still in high school) that most guys aren't mature enough to do more than they have to to get what they want. If your standards are high, you weed out alot of the worthless ones simply because you're too much trouble.
And before their early 20s, alot of guys fit that category. Some of them will grow up eventually, a lot of them won't. Sad fact of life. But if you don't change the behavior and start acting like you want more than sex, you won't find guys who are willing to give you more than that.
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I would say it's probably because he got what he wanted. That's the thing about hook-ups. There easy, guys don't really have to work for anything when it comes to hook-ups like they have to do with relationships. Same goes for girls.
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After a hookup, a guy loses interest because of two things. He has you and the "hunt is over" or that he has needs or desires that you aren't giving him. Ask him what he wants, but don't exceed you morals (don't do something you don't want to do).
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I don't really know because I haven't been through that, and I don't plan to.
But I have an idea. Maybe it's because the "chase" is over and he got what he wanted, so now he's not interested in it anymore.
That's really the only reason I can think of.
--Jack
(17/m)
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