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My column is dedicated to telling it like it is. I will always give you the best information available to me or the best advice I can. I will be upfront and never hide the truth from you.

The one thing I will not do is you homework. I will try and point you towards the answer or help you find the answers you looking for. Ultimately you will have to find the answer yourself.

advice

I am thinking about changing schools, but my friends are making me feel bad about it, even though this new school is better for me than the one I am going to now.

You have to what is best for you. You get only one chance at a good FREE EDUCATION, assuming we are discussing high school. If this new school will prepare you better to get into a better college that is better for you.

I understand about peer pressure and how you may feel about not being in the school with them. Understand this; the friends you have today will most likely not be your friends after you all leave for college, the military or where ever life takes us after high school.

I left high school 51 years ago. I've stayed in touch with one or two friends from that time but have not seen any of my friends since returning from the military. We have all gone off in separate direction living in different parts of the country and even the world. The same will happen to you even if you return to your home town after college. WE marry we find jobs and we go where the work takes us.

What I'm trying to say is you have to do what is best for you. Your friends could be making you feel bad because they do not have the same opportunity and are jealous a very possible reason. And yes part of it could be they will miss having you around.

If this school will offer you better classes, better teachers then you will have the opportunity to get into better colleges. Employers look at the schools you attend especially that first employer out of college. This opportunity is the first step in making a good life for yourself and your future family.

My advice is to grab the opportunity and change schools.

I never told my dermatologist about my psych medication because he wouldn't put me on accutane if I did. I've had derms turn me down before.

Do not take this medication without first calling the prescribing doctor and informing him or her of all your medications to see if they want you to take this drug or not. I'm surprised the pharmacy did not catch the drug interaction when you filled the prescription. You might want to talk with the pharmacist as well.

I don't understand this disability stuff. I have been paying for LTD for 20 years thru my job in case I would need it. I just had open heart surgery and need the disability income now. I have already submitted a report to my HR dept that I can't work. How do i get my disability?!?

You have done the right thing by filing with your HR Department. You need to stay on them as they file the initial claim and then you should be contacted by the carrier. Most HR departments don't know much about insurance and claims. Most likely the contacted their agent. That's were the ball gets dropped.

Call the head of your HR Department and ask where your claim is and who the insurance carrier is that will be paying your disability. Ask for the adjusters name and phone number. This is all information you are entitled to.

If you work for a large corporation with many offices contact the corporate HR Department. You will get you disability back dated to the date of you claim less any vacation you had to take before the disability kicked in. Your company will have to send you that vacation pay.

When my wife was stricken with breast cancer and I need answers I did not let the HR department sit on there butts or give me the run around. The president of the company said he had an open door policy and I burned up the internet with emails every time his HR department failed to act in a timely manor. Finally the VP of the HR Department contacted me with her private cell phone and email address asking me to stop going to the company president to contact her directly.

Understand something about todays employees. They are not like you or the people who were working when you came into the job market. Today's employee does not see the emergency since it is not their emergency. So they will get to it when they get "around to it." You need to provide the "round to it" by being the squeaky wheel pain in the butt.

Since you are recovering from open heart surgery I would suggest you not aggravate yourself with this. Either have a family member deal with it or contact an attorney to help. I suggest an attorney, nothing builds a fire like a letter from an attorney demanding they show cause as to why they are stalling or legal action will be taken. You do not need the stress or aggravation entailed with getting your company to move on this.

I know you aren't doctors but perhaps someone here has had this problem or a non-medical approach to dealing with it. In 2015 I had my gallbladder removed due to plaque build up they call gall stones. This was diagnosed after 7 or 8 years of attacks that would result in vomit at random times that looked like motor oil and diarrhea.

The gallbladder is a pouch below the liver that you can function pretty much without. The primary function is to help with digestion of fat and to move bile from it to the bile duct.

While I seldom vomit at all these days or have diarrhea I do find myself having unbearable cramps, sudden need to poop or diarrhea after eating or drinking certain foods. I do a lot of work downtown and often have to eat. I avoid fast-foods as much as possible but do like coffee and go to fast-food places last resort.

Problem is I get those intense cramps and symptoms mentioned only sometimes and when I try to eliminate certain foods it works for awhile and then try them again and it's okay and then start eating it again and bang. It can also happen with stuff I eat at home but not as a regular staple. More or less I'm looking for a way of sorting this all out with no more pain or sudden ahem issues.

The surgeon never gave me a list of stuff never to touch either except that he knew a vice which I'm trying to stop was drinking pop but that's not an every single day thing either. If anybody has any ideas it would be welcomed as I'm totally at a loss.

Incidentally, the cramps I am talking about are excruitiating to the point it feels like someone has stabbed me with a knife multiple times and twisted around in my sides. It has gotten to the point that sometimes I will be on toilet with the first issue while throwing up in pain from it. It's brutal when it happens and being downtown and unable to go about my business freely is making me not only sick but annoyed.

I know exactly how you feel my wife had her Gall Bladder removed about 20 years ago and she fights the same battle you do. There is not a list of foods to stay away from as everyone's body reacts differently.

One suggestion is fatty foods since this is the main purpose of the Gall Bladder. Without it your body will have problems digesting it. What we have done is try and remember what foods she has eaten and how they were cooked when these attacks happen.

What we found is if she eats any of these in excess she has an attack. Deep fried foods as in French fried potatoes, tomato sauces in excess, dairy product's such as cheese and whole milk and less often certain types of nuts.

With the exception of the tomato sauces these foods are high in fat content. The tomato sauce is high in acid. What we do is plan our menu's to limit the intake of these foods. Eaten in moderation almost eliminates but not totally eliminates the attacks though they are less often and less severe.

My suggestion is to watch what your eating. When you have an attach think of what you have eaten in the past few days. Anything with high fat or acid content should be eaten in moderation and not apart of your daily diet. Make salads a big part of your diet as they are filling and are not high in fat or acid if you leave out tomato's. Replace the tomato/e with fruit such as a small amount strawberry's.

so ive had multiple bouts of bronchitis all year last year and here I am sick again...yellow, green and red phlegm is coming out ....should I go too the ER for a chest x-ray or the DR's office where there are no x-ray machines there? my dr told me before if I get bronchitis again, go too the ER for a full chest x-ray to make sure I don't have walking pneumonia.
what should I do?

Red in the phlegm is probably blood. You need to go to the ER NOW. Because the red may be blood it means you may be bleeding internally. I'm not a doctor but my best guess is you have severe bronchitis, possibly Pneumonia.

As a first responder for over 40 years I would say as someone who might be bleeding internally you are just the person 911 services are meant for. You may be to sick to safely drive yourself to the hospital. Call 911 and let the Paramedics do the prehospital treatment's that will help you start breathing better while they transport you safely to the hospital. This is the purpose for paramedics.

Doctors have not may house call in decades, paramedics do and start treatment in your home all under the supervision of their supervising physician. My advice is call 911 NOW AND GO TO THE EMERGENCY ROOM.

Ok, so, I'm only 13, and I am lactose intolerant. I still eat dairy reulatly. But after I eat any type.of dairy, I have diarrhea. I was worried this would happen, and it did. I am pretty sure I have an external hemroid. It's purplish in color, and somewhat large. It is causing discomfort. I really don't want to tell my parents.. plus I hate going to the doctors. How do I cute these on my own?

Hemorrhoids are swollen veins in the lowest part of your rectum and anus. Sometimes the walls of these blood vessels stretch so thin that the veins bulge and get irritated, especially when you poop.

Hemorrhoids are one of the most common causes of rectal bleeding. They're rarely dangerous and usually clear up in a couple of weeks. But you should see your doctor to make sure it's not a more serious condition. He can also remove hemorrhoids that won't go away or are very painful.

Internal and External Hemorrhoids

Internal hemorrhoids are far enough inside the rectum that you can't usually see or feel them. They don't generally hurt because you have few pain-sensing nerves there. Bleeding may be the only sign of them.

External hemorrhoids are under the skin around the anus, where there are many more pain-sensing nerves, so they tend to hurt as well as bleed.

Sometimes hemorrhoids prolapse, or get bigger and bulge outside the anal sphincter. Then you may be able to see them as moist bumps that are pinker than the surrounding area. And they're more likely to hurt, often when you poop.

If the hemorrhoids are bothering you then you need to tell you parents. DO NOT CUT THEM ON YOUR OWN. As stated above these are veins and cutting them can cause uncontrolled bleeding which will cause to require calling 911 and go to the emergency room.

There are very few people who like going to the doctor. We do so to remain healthy. With your problem there are a number of different procedures a doctor who practices gastroenterology can do to relieve your symptom some of which can be done in the office avoiding a trip to a hospital OR.

My advice is to tell your parents, let them take you to your family Doctor or Pediatrician and follow the advice you revive. There is really no home remedy to cure this problem at home.

I'm 19 and had an incident with my car where an architectural issue in a parking lot damaged my car. The owner of the parking lot contacted their insurance and they paid for the repairs on my car, but it took them a while to do it and submit the payment so their insurance company set me up with a rental vehicle.

They DID pay the first week of the rental car, but it turned out they didn't pay the last 3 days. When I talked to the rental car company they said it wasn't a problem and that they'd contact the insurance agent to extend out the payment. I then signed off releasing the car and giving it back to them.

Now a week later the rental car company called me and said that my insurance was refusing to pay for the last 3 days and that the balance due is $300.

I don't have that money...I work part time and have classes full time so I don't earn a lot. I don't even have $100.

Idk what to do, I feel cheated? I also feel like I shouldn't have to pay anything because I was mislead.

What do I do?

Talking to the rental car company won’t do anything for you other than maybe get them to set up a payment plan for you.

Most states follow what is known as the “Rule of Agency.” This is part of a bigger law though what it means is; you had no reason to disbelieve what the person told you or that person who told you this was not authorized to tell you this. It means in states that follow this rule the insurance company has to pay the bill.

What you need to do is the following:

1. Call the insurance commissioner’s office for the state you live in and file a complaint with them against the insurance company. Your complaint is that you were told by the adjuster that they would cover the last 3 days of the car rental and now they have refused and the Rental Car Company is billing you.

2. At the same time call the State Department of Licensing. Every Company that does business in the state must have a license to do so. On that license is the name of their business agent in your state. You want the name and address of that agent. Do the same for the company that owns the Parking lot.

Once you have the name and addresses of the agents you go to your local district court and file a claim against the insurance company & the Parking lot Company together for the $300. You could add a reasonable amount of money for your time and effort to do all this as it is taking time from your job and studies. The judge may or may not award this to you though the judge will very likely award you the $300 and court costs.

3. One other thing you might want to do is call your local TV station. Most TV stations have a legal line reporter. Yours is just the type of story they might want to help with.
Unfortunately you are learning very early what it is like to deal with these types of things. In the future make sure to get everything in writing. Even an email is good just make sure to save the email and to print it out if possible. A paper trail is your best offense or defense in these matters.

It is going to take some time and effort on your part though you should be successful. The insurance company is counting on you not wanting to fight the big guy they are. I can attest that when you know your right it does not take a lot of money to fight them it just takes stamina to put up with their tactics of delay.

First off, this is really my friend and not me. She's in her 20's and her parents are stalking her. She doesn't live with them, but rather in an apartment they pay for and she lives two hours away from them. They're part of a strict faith, but she's already denounced herself from it and they know that.

Yet, her dad is constantly texting her right after she gets home from driving somewhere asking her questions about where she went and why. He tells her she better not lie to him about whether she went out or not and usually already knows when she has.

He's even told her she better not go outside without telling him. It's really crazy.

My question is what can she do about it? We already eliminated the chance that he was tracking her via her phone's GPS or by bank account transactions. Now we think he might have hidden a GPS tracker maybe in her car but she's has two people look through her car and they didn't find anything.

She doesn't have any social media accounts to track her by.

Now we think maybe he's paying somebody to stalk her.

What can we do about this? She's too scared to go to the police and ruin things with her family because they pay for everything for her. I think it's gotten out of hand though and the paranoia is really getting to her. She's scared to leave her house now. :(

It is possible they are tracking her through the GPS system in her car. She should have it disconnected if at all possible. This would need to be done at the service center at a dealership of the cars manufacturer. Also her cell phone has GPS tracking which cannot be disabled.

It is illegal for anyone other than the police to do what's called pinging this phone and it takes special software to do so. If there is any possibility that her parents could do this then she should get a prepaid cell phone you buy in a gas station and use it when she goes out leaving her other phone at home.

As for any other type of surveillance she might be under. Until she is ready to stand on her own two feet and live without the support of her parents or until she has had enough and goes to the police and the courts for an order of protection. There is not much she can do. An order of protection between a child and parent is a last ditch effort for it is a no contact order. Violating this order means jail time for the violator.

A step in between where she is at now and the order of protection would be to find a lawyer to write to her parents. She can get a legal aid lawyer to help her. Stalking is against the law. She is an adult and her parents have no legal right to know where she is, who she is seeing, or what religion she may or may not be practicing. While I don't recommend lying to ones parents at any age if she prefers to lie to them about something that's her right and her parents have no recourse if she does because she is an adult and they cannot physically punish her.

A lawyer in a letter can explain all this to her father in a letter explaining these are her rights in this country and that his old country ways do not work here and what her legal options are if he continues to harass her.

Of course he too has options one of which is not to support her any longer for by law he is not legally obligated to do so.

22/f

Last year after my mom passed away, I moved out to another state and moved in with my older brother. I had bought a new car last year, so I make payments twice a month.
I got my dream job as a flight attendant and moved to another state by myself.
So I pay my phone bill, my car payment, insurance, rent, utilities and I'm just finishing up the double deposit on my apartment because I didn't have a cosigner.

I am really struggling. I don't have much food in the house. I have to change my registration to this new state so it'll be around $400 and when I moved, I used my credit card for almost everything because I didn't have any money when I moved. So I'm working on paying that off as well.

I've been working as a flight attendant for 5 months now. I need advice on other ways to make money. Right now, I'm still an on call flight attendant and get paid for the hours I'm on call as well as when I'm flying.
I need help with budgeting because I really need to eat better. Are there other ways to make extra money in the mean time? I don't have much and I would usually go to my mom for things like this but I don't have her anymore.

Having worked for an Airline as a gat agent for many years I know life as reserve F/A is not the life you counted on but it does get better. In all professions one must pay their dues and being in reserve is how you pay yours. soon you will be able to bid for fights on a regular basis and you will be able to get a better handle on your finances.

To start with I'm not sure what you are saying here; "so I make payments twice a month." Are you making two full payments twice a month, two half payments twice a month or one half payment twice a month. If you are doing anything but making one half payment twice a month you can stop those extra payments until you can better afford to do so.

The only reason to pay more payments then are due is to pay the loan off sooner which is nice if you can afford to do so but you should not go hungry doing so. By law a loan company can only require you to make one payment a month. Now that payment can be broken down in to weekly, bi-weekly or monthly payments. If your loan company is requiring anything different it is an illegal loan and there is remedy at l aw for this by contacting your state or local office of consumer protection or affairs.

If you have been making double payments to pay the loan off sooner you could ask the loan company for some for giveness in payments until the loan catches up with your payments.

As for finding a part time job and being on reserve for the airline I don't see them working well together. You have to be available at the airport so many days at certain times and on call at others. This is very hard to work a schedule around.

If you want I can help you set up a budget. Contact me in private with a list of what you must pay each month and what your average take home pay is. Include just the one payment a month for your car not multiples and I will attempt to put a budget together which includes food for you.

I am trying to fill out my first job application and I messed up on the first one so I printed another one off the computer and the computer automatically highlighted the first page . Does it it look professional for the application to be high lighted? I am also having trouble understanding some of the questions on the application.

.Are you an alien authorized to work in the United States. Could someone explain to me what this means? I also have no work history so on the work history section I am stumped. On current or last employer do you put your supervisor's name or the company's name ? Remember all I have is volunteer woork. Thank you so much for your help.

On this question: Are you an alien authorized to work in the United States? If you were born in this country you are not an alien. IF you were not born here then you are an immigrant alien and need a work visa.

Under work history: list all the volunteer positions you have worked at. You put the name of the organization you volunteered for and any other information it asks for.

Will anal sex disvirgin you

Mr. Kaman is wrong. When we speak of virginity we speak of someone who has not had penis to vagina intercourse. Anal sex does not meet that description. Many women who wish to be vaginal virgins on their wedding night engage in anal sex to satisfy there boyfriend desire to have sex with them.

Back in the old days to prove a woman was a virgin her Hyman had to be intact and it was expected she would bleed when her husband ruptured the Hyman during their first intercourse. This would take place on their wedding night in the home of the girls mother. The next morning the mother of the bride would proudly hand the blood stained sheet out the bedroom window to show the town her daughter was a virgin upon marriage.

Today an active woman my loose her Hyman playing sports, dancing, horseback riding or bike riding. Today the definitions of a virgins is as I wrote above, "A woman who on her wedding night has not experienced penis to vagina intercourse.

So I will do my best to explain this though I have found it extremely difficult to express how I feel and what i think which I think is a big part of this issue.

So I have a person in my life, who I look up to very much, and also work with, who keeps telling me I need to grow up.

Now, I have trouble explaining this situation well but lets just say that I have feelings for this person, I look up to them, I care about what they think, and I want them to think I am doing a good job. He works with me, and he used to be vey kind and understanding with me, until he wasn't.

I'm writing this because Im not sure if I am in the wrong or what is going on so I would like some perspective.

Basically he says I cause more problems than solutions. And he gets angry now every time I mess up at work or there is an issue he yells at me and starts to scold me for what I did. The problem is that I don't know how to fix it. I find myself now working and making decisions on eggshells, and messing up more than before because of the fear of causing anger and getting an angry response from this person.

The other problem is not being able to explain this to him because every time I do he comes back with "UGH see youre just creating a big drama with what you feel and its causing more problems, just admit you're wrong, don't give me some excuse, and fix it"

The problem is I feel like everything I do is wrong and I cant fix it no matter how many different options or roads I take I always end up with the same reaction and being yelled at. And i cant explain how I feel to him because then he gets more angry.

So I guess my question is, am i being too emotional? how do I stop feelings this certain way? How do I fix my work when every step I take or decision I make is to him a mistake and warrants a scolding? And why wont he listen to what I have to say about the situation without calling me a big baby?

What do I do in this situation?

And please don't say to change jobs because I've tried and its impossible at this particular moment in time.

In my many, many years on this earth I have found that people who tell other people, "the need to grow up," need to take their own advice. f this person is your supervisor he is a poor excuse for a supervisor. Instead of yelling at you he should be teaching you and showing you where and how the mistakes you are making can be corrected.

If he is not your supervisor he has no business in yelling at you for any reason. If this is the case then I suggest you got to your supervisor and explain the situation as he is impeding your ability to do your job.

For over 35 years I had the task of supervising several hundred people who did not work for me directly. They were employed by the distributors who sold the product I represented to their company. I was very successful at this because I taught them not only how to sell my product but how to sell in general. That is the job of a good supervisor to teach and help people to learn from mistakes not to just criticize.

Take this guy off the pedestal you have him on and bring him down to your level. If he is not your supervisor then he is your equal and inform him of such. Tell him directly. "If your going to criticize me then have solutions to help me or keep you mouth shut and stay away. I also suggest you find someone else to help and mentor you if need be.

I sacrificed my life for my daughter. Her father who I divorced because he,was,abusive, physically and emotionally. I moved away when the divorce was final and concentrated on my new job who gave me the opportunity for a good life to support my child because her father never helped. To this day he has never admitted what he did and I minimized what he did. So my daughter visits him like he was the one who sacrificed for her. I left my family, friends a familiar place now many years have past. Daughter got married to a multi degrees ass. He doesn't respect me and she goes along with him but acts like that's not the case. A mother knows. I tried to remarry, he died 14 months after we wed. Put me in financial turmoil. I'm crawling out but so tired. You are nothing without support. Nothing without family. I was there for my daughter but wasn't rich enough to pay for all her college degrees. She has three degrees and student loAns that she blames me for. I paid what I could trying to keep a home for her to come home to on breaks. She went to best schools. He got yet another degree but can't put her in the same life style she grew up in, I grew up in. The other day I got fed up and told him whAt I thought. I can't stand him. He lunged at me once before , he did it agAin. And he is a Professor. He is a piece of suit. His family are ghetto snakes. I look around me I have nothing to live for . I'm sure he continues to turn my grandson against me. The pain is too much . This is my last entry. Anonymous so no cry for help.looking for how to leave here without pain. Ill miss the Lord's blue skies.

Killing yourself may only hurt her for a little while then she will move on. Death is final, there is no coming back.

What stops you from returning to where you have friends and family. Sure you would like to know your grandson. I would love to know my great Nephew but distance makes it impossible so I do the next best thing and remember him on birthdays and holidays with gifts he wants.

Before you do anything drastic call this number 1-800-273-8255. It is the National Suicide Prevention Hot Line. They can help you.

I've been a "sugar baby" on and off for three years since I was 19. I've had two "sugar daddies" and gone on dates with other potentials, but they didn't work out for one reason or another.

I don't necessarily like doing it, but the financial and materialistic aspect of it always lures me back in. I always worry about my safety and the fear of being raped or worse because there's really 0 way to protect yourself once you're alone with him.

I haven't had that happen though and my experiences have been really good so far. I was able to make four times what I make at my normal job in a month and finally able to start paying off some of my bills last time, but I had to put a stop to it because he started becoming too demanding of my time and my family started wondering how I was getting so much extra money.

Now I'm really missing it because I've had to go back to the life of a normal worker. I'm starting to see my bank account dwindle back into the triple digits and it's really getting to me because when I was a SB I always had at least a couple thousand extra. Since then I've had my computer crash, and broke a phone so I had to replace those and paid for them outright so I wouldn't have to finance them and I had a car repair as well as Christmas. I also of course had my normal month to month bills.

This is going to sound super selfish, but I also really miss eating out at high end places where the bill would be over $300 at times and I didn't have to worry about it because the SD paid. I was able to buy healthy organic groceries and foods from special markets. The food was so amazing and so delicious and now I'm back to frozen dinners and chain restaurants. I get really sad comparing my life then to now...

So now I'm thinking about going back, but the hunt for a good SD is really long and terrible. There's so many slimy men who will try to trick you and who pray on younger girls like me. There's also a lot of men who are just straight up cruel and will try to belittle you into sleeping with them for small amounts of money.

I'm also getting a new roommate in three weeks because my old one is moving home so I don't now what she would think if she saw me leave and come back at odd hours.

It's so hard living like this again though...I think about it every day. What I could have compared to what I do.

You realize that being a SB is about one step removed from being a high class Call Girl. You’re being paid to be available to have sex on demand and to be an escort when needed. That is very close to the definition of a Call Girl. The only real difference is you are supported by one man so as to be available to him on demand.

While this life may provide you with all the material things you want without really working hard for them. It is also very demeaning. You are having sex with someone who is not interested in a relationship or romance. You are just an available vessel for what he cannot get at home. You feed his ego to get what you want and that is the tradeoff you get out of the situation.

If you are finding SD's who are violent then you are running in the wrong circles. Most SD's want sex and eye candy to escort them at the business places were eye candy works in their favor.

It's your life; I will not condemn or praise you for your choice. What I will say is there is great satisfaction in working hard to earn what you have. This is a lesson I don't believe you have learned yet.

I'm afraid I'm going to have to get my wisdom teeth taken out soon, but I have a horrible, irrational fear of the dentist.

It's not just a fear like most people's fear of the dentist. It's partly that, but there's more to it. I had the worst orthodontist in the world. I had braces for three years and the whole time, I had to go to the orthodontist once a month. I dreaded every time. It never got easier. My orthodontist was rude, abrasive, and down right scary. If you told him that something he did hurt, he'd say, "No it didn't." He often did painful procedures without warning you. He ripped out my last baby tooth without letting me know he was gonna do so and the tooth wasn't even loose. It was also a silver tooth, so it really hurt, but he was very insensitive about it. This is just one of many examples of the kinds of things he did. He also once upset one of his employees so much that I think she quit and called for a ride home, but while she was doing so, he ripped the phone off of the wall.

This orthodontist have me an irrational fear of the dentist and now I'm scared to have any dental work done. However, I can't ignore my wisdom teeth becoming impacted. I've put off getting them removed BEFORE they became impacted, but I'm just not gonna be able to keep doing that.

Does anyone have any advice to help me relax and keep the stress and anxiety about this down?

First: The person you want to remove those teeth is a Dental Surgeon not a general practioner to remove those teeth. Your insurance company can help you find one.

Second: Make an appointment with this doctor for a consultation in his office. Explain to the doctor your fears and why you have them. You have good reason for those fears; if I was you I would report that orthodontist to the licensing board he is a sadist. The doctor will explain to the different ways of putting you at ease including general Anesthetic. Dental insurance general doesn't pay for anything more than a shot of anesthetic in the gums. In your case the dentist might convince the insurance company it is a necessity.

Once the doctor tells you of the options make your choice. My advice is you pick the general Anesthetic. It is a shot in the arm, you go to sleep and when you wake up your missing the teeth without any of the fear associated with it.

Hi, I'm a 29 year old woman and I'm finally starting to face the fact that I may have a serious problem when it comes to my love life. However, sometimes I blow things out of proportion, so I just want to know how you all feel.

The problem is that my entire life, I have almost exclusively had romantic feelings for older men (almost is the key word though). I've never dated one, but I've had bad crushed on a lot of guys old enough to be my father. Most aren't quite that old, but older than any man I'd be willing to marry, such as 10 to 15 years older. This is the way it's always been. As a teenager, I was simply never attracted to any guys my own age.

Now that I'm an adult, it's getting better. I've always been attracted to grown men, but now that I'm a grown woman, that's not as much of a problem anymore. But it's still a bit of a problem, because I was born in the late 80's and most of my crushes were born in the 60's to early 70's and some even in the 50's (I'm not proud of this). I've never been able to act on any of these crushes because I do not want to date anyone more than 10 years older than myself.

But now I'm thrilled that I FINALLY have feelings for two different guys close to my age. I have two simultaneous crushes on a guy named Dan and a guy named Nick. I am currently 29 and I'll be 30 in September. Dan is 34 and Nick is almost 37 they're still older, but in a few months, we'll all be in our thirties and we were all born in the 80's. It feels great to finally have choices for boyfriends who aren't so much older than I am. So good that I don't wanna go back to the way things used to be, but if things don't work out with Dan OR Nick, I can't promise that they won't and that scares me.

What are your thoughts? Is this the huge problem I've made it out to be or are there other people with this issue?
Is there a reason this might have been a problem for me? Is there a way I can control my feelings? If things don't work out with Dan or Nick, Then, I really want to try to stay in my own decade when it comes to dating, but does anyone know a way I can help myself to do that?

Reasons young people prefer older people are; they are more stable, more settled and more experienced in the ways of the world including sexually. They are more stable in their jobs; they have started to acquire the things in life that makes life good. They are generally more financially stable. They have sown their wild oats and made the mistakes of youth. They know what they want and how to get it.

The people that look for older people to make a life with are generally more mature than their counterparts; more mature and better educated as well. While education is a good thing it can also ruin a marriage if the couple’s educational backgrounds are not equal. The better educated partner tends to outgrow the lesser educated partner and the lesser educated partner feels lost around the new friends of the better educated partner. In an older person you are more likely to find a person of your educational equal that also has the stability and experiences you are looking for.

The last two paragraphs are more or less psychology 101’s view. The other view is no one can predict where the heart will take us and who it will fall in love with. Society still places a stigmatism on May December marriages, mainly on young men marrying older women. Frankly my dear who gives a damn; it is your happiness that counts and the heck with what anyone says.

I'm stuck in a terrible situation and I guess I'd just like some perspective...

I am in love with a coworker. We work great together and we have an amazing time when he's actually present. And he's an amazing, funny, kind, person. The problem is that he's in love with this other girl....

And she doesnt like him like that, but hes convinced he can get her.

By the way he knows I like him, he says that he likes me too but that since we work together we shouldnt mix business with pleasure etc which to me is a complete excuse. I know its because he might think im awesome but he doesnt like me like that. I understand that. He is in love with this other girl. Its a viicous cycle.

Anyway, my problem here and my question is, whenever this girl writes him, which she does quite often, he dissapears into his phone. And i know when she does bcause he starts texting all oblivious of anything going on in the office and smiling like an idiot. And ignoring me. Were partners we work on projects together so were together most of the day.

My problem is not that he texts her its that whenever he does he ignores anything and everything i say, and i hate seeing it it bothers me.

how can istop feeling this?

I know how you feel I have been there myself in my younger days. When I was still living at home my mother told me It wasn't me that was missing out on anything it was she that was missing out on finding out what a great guy I was. At the time I felt that was just mom talking. Today I know better after 46 years of marriage to a wonderful woman.

So my first suggestion is to take my mother’s advice and while I know it is hard to sit there and in a manner of speaking pine over him. It's not your loss it's his. By ignoring you he is not finding out what a great person you are.

The only other suggestion I could make is if it is really that hard to be in the same office with him then you might consider looking for other employment. The job market has really opened up in the last year and you may find a better job with better pay and benefits.

For now though having the right attitude will help you get through the day. Remember it’s his loss and that you're a great gal that he is missing out on knowing. Take that attitude and wear it proudly. You never know what might happen.

what will happen if allow the condom or penis to touch the vagina after withdrawal

The penis is going to have sperm on it unless he washes after removing the condom. Even though most of the sperm will be in reservoir tip depending how much he ejaculates and how hard he ejaculates there will be some blow back on to his penis. so it is best that you not allow him near your vagina until he or you have cleaned him.

Sperm can live outside the body for a few minutes. If some come in contact with you near your vagina it is passible for them to swim inside you where they are more comfortable and in their element. Once inside you they can swim and mate with an egg.

The probability of this happening is very low as the number of sperm is very low but possible and has been known to happen. Remember he release millions of sperm when he ejaculates and only a few hundred make the trip to the ovaries.

I am a 25 yr-old female and have been with my partner for over 8 years now. My family knows that we are together and are very accepting of us, which I am very grateful for. However, she has still not told her parents that we are together, despite how long it has been. We both pretty much know that her parents know, but it has never really been confirmed with them. I just want my girlfriend to outwardly tell them we are in a relationship. I know this sounds really selfish because coming out is such a difficult thing to do, especially to your parents, but I just want to know if her parents would truly accept me and treat me the same knowing I was in a relationship with their daughter. I don't know if that really makes sense. But do you think it is wrong for me to ask my girlfriend to basically come out to her parents? I feel terrible, but at the same time I am tired of hearing her say she will tell her parents, and she never does. This has been going on for years, and I have tried to be very patient since I know coming out is hard, but it's also hard for me to stay in the closet in front of her family. I'm not really sure what to do.

You need to sit down and talk with your partner. I cannot say for certain why she is reluctant to tell her parents though I'm sure she has her reasons which she feels may upset or hurt you.

As far as being gay neither my wife or I have a problem with that. Being Gay is not something you woke up one morning and chose to be it is how you were born. Her parents may not understand this or be as open minded.

Growing up in their house she may know of their feelings towards gays and fearful of the resentment she may get from them if she comes out to them. Knowing something in the back of your mind and having to face it up front are two different things. This is just a feeling or my thoughts on this.

The only way to know for sure is to have an honest discussion with her. By trying to force her to come out you may be forcing her to choose between you and her parents something you should not force her to do.

Eight year of reluctance on her part tells me I may be closer to the truth than I think so talk to her.

Please excuse the hostile title of my question, but I am VERY angry right now. I want to warn you in advance that this writing might make me sound like a truly terrible person, but like I said, I'm extremely angry and fed up at the moment with my parents and my situation.

My parents have one of the worst marriages I've personally ever seen in my life. I don't understand why they ever got married in the first place or why they have stayed married for as long as they have. It's against our religion for them to get divorced, but there are many times that I feel like they, and the rest of our family, would be better off if they got separated or something. I don't think that's against their beliefs.

If I had to tell you everything wrong with their marriage, I'd be writing all night. There are numerous ways that my parents marriage sucks, but basically, they're distant, secretive, rude, verbally abusive, and vindictive. They spend entirely too much time apart, they leave each other out of things they do with their friends that they should do together, they keep secrets from each other, they call each other names that I've never called my worst enemy, and they do things just to make each other angry. Their marriage is constantly getting worse instead of better because when one of them gets angry at the other, instead of talking about it like normal people, they just get revenge on each other.

My parents scared me out of ever wanting to get married. I know they don't have a normal marriage and I know it's possible to get married and be extremely happy with your spouse, but even so, I just never could get up the guts to bite the bullet and commit my life to another person PERMANENTLY not knowing for certain what our marriage would look like one day. I am a Christian like my parents and if I did get married, I couldn't run to get divorced as quickly as some people do. I could get separated, but only if I was desperate and my husband and I would still be joined together legally. Also, the fact that I grew up watching my parents dysfunctional marriage and have never really, closely seen what a good marriage looks like kept me from having confidence in myself to know how to be a good wife and make a marriage work.

I always wanted a family, but when I kept chickening out of marriage, I decided just to have kids on my own using both IVF and adoption. I now have a large family that I'm raising by myself and I'm extremely happy with my life choices most of the time. But on occasion, I do feel sad that I don't have a husband and my kids don't have a dad. They have father figures, but not a legit dad in their lives. I feel bad about that, especially for the boys, but what can I do now? Who wants to marry a single mother raised in a dysfunctional family who doesn't even know what a healthy marriage looks like. Even if someone did, there's not a counselor in the world that could assuage my fears about marriage.

The reason I came here is that my parents are constantly putting me in the middle of their arguments and I get SICK OF IT!!! It's not FAIR!!! They get mad at each other for things I have nothing to do with and they make me take sides, help get revenge on each other, and bad mouth each other to other people. It SUCKS!!!

While I deeply love both of my parents, despite their flaws, and have a very close relationship with my Mother, my relationship with my dad hasn't been good since I was twelve. We've been very distant and we both hate that. We try to work on it, but every time we seem to be getting closer, something happens and our relationship goes straight to hell again.

So over the past six or seven months, my parents have been working on remodeling their house. The first thing they did was remodel the bathroom my sister and I used to share. They took out that bathtub that used to be in it and put in a shower in it's place. I use that shower when I can because it's by far the nicest and one of the most spacious showers I've ever used.

Two weeks ago tomorrow, I was using that shower and when I opened one of the two glass sliding doors, said door fell and shattered. It apparently wasn't put on right. Both of my hands were badly cut up. I had a cut in my finger on my right hand that went all the way down to the bone and the glass took two big chunks of skin out of my left hand that required stitches. I had a cut on my foot and one my left arm that was DIRECTLY OVER all of the veins and arteries in that arm that can kill you if you cut them open. The whole thing scared me to death. I was very sore for over a week and although I've been feeling better and healing fast, I temporarily lost some of the feeling in the finger that was cut all the way down to the bone and I fear I might be anemic from the blood loss. That probably sounds a little dramatic, but I lost a lot of blood, more than you'd think, and I was also on my menstrual cycle at the time. I've been having symptoms of anemia since then.

I was afraid my dad was going to be angry about what happened. I was scared he was gonna scold me and make me buy a new door. I was a little scared that he would even ban me from his and my mom's house. Instead, he was nothing but worried and sympathetic towards me. He wanted to look at my hands and arm, he asked me how bad the whole thing scared me, he gave me a couple very big hugs. He couldn't have cared less about the door. It was the closest I'd felt to him in a long time. It was one of the rare moments when my dad shows me how much I mean to him and it meant a lot to me.

We've been tight since then, but tonight, my mom almost screwed the all of that up. You see, on Saturday, I wanted to take my kids to see the new Beauty and the Beast movie and my mom said that she'd like to come. I found out that she told a lie to keep my dad from knowing where we were going out of fear that he'd come along if he knew. My dad has since found out where we went and that we'd left him out of something he'd have probably enjoyed and I feel bad about that. I didn't know my mom was going to lie to him like that. I should've invited him myself, but I didn't realize how much he'd have wanted to come. I didn't think he'd like the movie. Even as an adult, I loved it, but it is still a kids' movie and a musical, so I assumed my dad wouldn't want to come, but apparently he would and now I feel like sh!t.

That incident with the shower door happened two weeks ago and today was the third time that my dad had promised to go to the closest home depot an hour away and get a new shower door. He didn't do so and my mom wanted me to confront him and be a b!tch to him thinking that he'd get it done faster if I did. Thing is, my dad and I have been getting along great lately and after the whole thing with the movie, I was scared that he already wasn't happy with me. If I went and was an @as hole to him about the shower door, then he might explode on me and our whole relationship would go south again. Especially since I was the one who broke the door.

I went to politely ask him about the door, but when he was really sweet to me and we talked for a minute, leading me to realize that he wasn't angry with me, I lost my nerve to say anything that could anger him. My mom kept pushing me though so eventually I mentioned it to him, but it didn't help much. He was perfectly sweet about it, but didn't sound like he had gone to indeed home depot and I failed to light a fire under him like my mom wanted me to. This is not a good example of one of my parents putting me in the middle of an argument, but it's what prompted me to come here.

My mom is furious with me for not standing up to my dad and telling him off about the door like she wanted me to. She brought up the times I have stood up to my dad when it was for myself and accused me of not caring enough to do it for her. I explained to her that the rare times I've had the backbone to stand up to my dad, it was because he provoked me to do so, but he didn't provoke me today. I also explained that even if I had more of a backbone, my dad didn't deserve to be berated for the door today. Yes, he should've gotten it like he promised my mom, but he had a pretty busy day and I don't understand why it's such a big deal anyway. There's another shower and a bathtub in the house. My mom does like to use the new shower, but not often it's not like it's the only place in the house to bathe.

This is what I'm sick of. My choices tonight were to either be a jerk to my dad and ruin how well we've been getting along lately or to not be a jerk to my dad and make my mom mad at me. My parents do this to me all the time. They put me in the middle and make it so I can't possibly get out of the situation without making at least one of the mad at me. My mom acknowledges that she puts me in this position. She says flat out that I have to choose between her being mad or my dad being mad at me. I've tried to tell them that I'm not getting in the middle of anything, but that tends to make BOTH of them mad me.

It's really not fair because I have done nothing to get myself in these situations. I didn't cause my parents to have such a disaster of a marriage, I don't cause their arguments, I don't cause myself to be put in the middle of their arguments. I have no options. It's either p!ss my mom off or p!ss my dad off. Their are no other options.

The only other thing I can think of that I could do is to stop being around my parents, but that is not an option. I love both of my parents very much and could never alienate them from my life.

Super sorry this has been such a long writing, but I just wanted you to know everything you might need to know about the situation. Does anyone have any advice?

The best thing to do in these situations is not to take sides. When either one comes to you and wants you to take their side in and or want you take up for something they want all; you need to say is. "I love you both dearly and when it comes to these problems I'm Switzerland, I'm neutral and I am no longer taking sides." "You will have to work it out for yourselves.

Why do they come only to you and not your sister? I don't have an answer as I don't know your sister but I would bet she has told them not to come to her with their problems.

A for marriage; I understand your reluctance saying this I also believe you should not judge your life based on your parents life. Yes you carry their genes but you are your own person and you denying yourself a great deal of happiness with the right person. This is 45 years of marriage speaking from someone who came from a dysfunctional home very similar to yours. Yes we have had our rough spots all marriages do but we worked through them.

I will suggest two things; first I do believe a good psychologist can help you. You have only seen marriage in one perspective. A good psychologist can help you see things in a proper perspective.

Second there are men out there who will take on an instant family for many different reasons. They are not all that hard to find if you know where to look. I suggest you go on some dating websites like Match.com. Fill out the profile on yourself. I suggest you have a friend with you when you do this as we all tend to be a little hard on ourselves. A friend will help you soften it to the true you.

I'm not saying you should or need to marry. I'm saying you should at least look for a mate before you decide marriage is not for you. For as I said before you are not your parents just as I am not my father and never will be.

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