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Razhie. Advicenators Member Since: June 13, 2005. Answers: 5077. Visitors: 211514.
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The Question
In the Perks of Being a Wallflower, the main character mentions going to see Rocky Horror Picture Show.
I don't get it. He and his friends dress up and go watch it in the theater? Can anyone help clarify this?
The Answer
The Rocky Horror Picture Show is a movie that was made in 1975. It is completely and utterly bizarre, and a lot of fun! People dress up to go see it in the theatre and there are a lot of things, pre-arranged and memorized that they yell or throw at the screen and at each other. It's just a crazy fun time all around. There is also often a floor show with audience participation.
This might help clear things up a bit more: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Rocky_Horror_Picture_Show
Look at the Audience Participation section.
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The Question
Male 19 and female 18
Me and my girlfriend have been together for two years. Well lately she's been using all types of excuses for us not to hang out...like today we were supposed to hang out but she said she wanted to go home and shower first which would leave us with half an hour to hang out. Well then she calls me back five minutes later and says her dad says she can't...the samething happened with this coming weekend. Her friend is having a party we were invited to and told me she didnt want to go...well a couple days later I asked if we could hang out this weekend she said maybe at the party even though she had already said we weren't going...its been going on for a couple of weeks
...and also we rarely talk on the phone anymore...we use to talk on the phone like 30 minutes before we went to bed and 30 minutes in the morning as well and various times through out the day...now its more like 2 minutes maximum a day...I dont know if this means she wants out of the relationship and it's her way of breaking it off...I need Advice
The Answer
Sounds to me like you two were seeing eachother a hell of a lot. Sometimes, after that first wave of infautation wears off, couples don't see eachother quite so much. It doesn't mean that she doesn't want to be with you, it just means she has other things in her life that she needs to make time for as well as you.
Ask her straight up if anything is wrong, she might just need a bit more 'me time' lately, or she might want out. You wont really know unless you ask.
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The Question
okay so long story short..
my step sister and i dont get along and we never talk but we're in the same grade. and we never see eachother or have the same friends. okay so her exboyfriend from a while ago and he was my boyfriend a few years ago. alright...so him and i are now going out and she still likes him...but him and i really really like eachother...what should i do about my step sister then?
The Answer
Continue to ignore her.
He likes you. Unless that changes it doesn't matter what she thinks or does. Girls don't steal guys away. Guys choose to leave. So if you are confident that yours isn't going anywhere then you don't have to a single thing about her.
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The Question
Ok well one of my close friend got into an argument with my little sister. So when there's nothing to tlak about with other peope my friend talks bad stuff about her and calls her a bitch.
And my sister always runs up to me during school at recess time (yeha really annoying) and then when she goes away my friend would like like "bitch..hope she gets run over by a car"
um..i think she's annoying sometimes but..kinda uncomfortable here! What can I do to shut my friend up nicely but not break our friendship?
The best friend talk thing,not us.
And I can't tell my sister to fuck off cuz she's super senstive
ugh..help me please?
The Answer
Just calmly tell your friend to chill, that is your sister she is talking about and she doesn't have to like her but you don't want to hear it.
If she gets angry at that, then she is the bitch. After all, wouldn't she want you to stick up for her the same way if someone was wishing her dead? Of course she would. It's good of you to stick up for the people you love. Even if they are annoying and uber sensitive. Even if they are bitchy!
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The Question
is it possible to get pregnant having buttsex
The Answer
I assume you mean anal sex?
Yes. It is.
That hole is intended for things to come out of not so much for them to go in, so it leaks. Any leakage that comes near to the vaginal opening could cause a pregnancy.
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The Question
16/f
Ok well my period is late by almost 2 weeks. (Ive had my period since August 04) At first i thought nothing of it because that happens sometimes but earlier today i got a really bad stabbing pain in my stomache that lasted like a minute.
I then went to the toilet and it hurt when i peed, i dont think it was internal.. because my "down there" has been kinda stinging a bit for the past few days like the skins cracked or something if you know what i mean.. but anyway yeh it burnt when i peed.
So anyway my question is.. from what i described could there be something wrong? Maybe something with my ovaries or anything like that.. can you give me any possibilities and there symptons please? Thanks x
The Answer
Advisors on this site have been telling you to see a doctor for three days now! Have you made a appointment yet? Have you gone to a walk in clinic? 'Cause that is what you NEED TO DO!
There could certainly be something wrong, but we are not doctors. We've got nothing else to offer you.
If it were just the burning sensenation I would say you likely have a urinary tract infection, which is a common, simple to cure infection, but with your other symptoms, it might be some thing more serious. Stabbing pain could be from your kidneys, stinging could be a yeast infection. There are a hundred possibilties. Don't waste your time worrying about what it *might* be. Go to someone who can tell you for sure!
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The Question
Alright. I'm 17 and I just need to let someone know and get someone else's advice because I can't say anything to my friends. So, I met this guy a while back and I've seen him a few times. I've always thought he was cute, but he's been dating this girl for a year and a half.
Now, I know this will sound ridiculous, but at the party last weekend I talked to him all night about a lot of different things. We really bonded and he kept telling me all night that he felt we had. He's a really great guy, but he cheated on his gf with me last weekend and I'm going to see him again this weekend. I mean. I really feel bad about it all, I do, but the more I think about it .. he wouldn't have cheated on her if he didn't have doubts or didn't want something more, you know? He says he loves her, but is he in love with being in the relationship with her or is he truly in love with her because obviously he can't completely be in love with her if he cheated on her. And just to clear a few things up, he has only cheated on her one other time before me so please just give me advice and what you think I should do or what you think actually on the whole circumstance. Thanks so much ya'll!
The Answer
Everyone has doubts about thier relationships and sometimes relationships aren't perfect. NOT EVERYONE CHEATS. Other people work through thier problems or break up. This guy decided to cheat and you decided to help him.
You need to cut him loose 'cause no matter if he loves her or not what he is really saying to you when he talks about loving her is that he doesn't love you and that she is more important then you. He's cheated before, which means he's felt another connection before, but he is still with her. He'll probably cheat on her agian unless she dumps him.
He is a serial cheater. You could be the worst women in the world for him, or the best. It wouldn't matter. People who cheat once have made a mistake, for this guy cheating is habit. he is simply that immature, and that selfish. Fooling around with him will only bring you pain.
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The Question
A guy friend of mine and I are kinda arguing... He likes me but I went and had sex with my ex-boyfriend. He thinks I always make the wrong decisions and never think about the consequences. He's only really upset coz I found out he likes me.
My question is: He told me I have "imediate gratifacation" (sp?) and he said its like a personality condition. Can someone please explain that to me?
Thanks
The Answer
Gratification is the good feeling you get when you get something you want. Immediate or instant gratification just means you try and get what you want as fast as possible.
Wanting immediate gratification or instant gratification isn’t a personality disorder, but it is certainly a personality flaw. Maturity is often defined as the ability to delay gratification, basically, to have patience. You learn to have patience because you realize that feeling good quickly in the moment, might mean feeling worse and loosing out in the long term.
That is exactly what happened to you here. You felt good, got gratification, by sleeping with your ex in the short term, but in the long term, you lost out on a good guy.
He just labeled the messed up behavoir you already you knew you were doing. Hopefully this experience will help you mature and learn not to jump for a in for the quick gratification, but wait for the better, longer lasting one.
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The Question
i went out with my ex-bf of 2 weeks for a month. today i went back to his place after school and we ended up having sex. but we both knew what we were there for. we both needed it. i dont know what to think now. he says he only dumped me coz he has trouble staying with one person if you know what i mean, but there has been no one since me. so what should i be thinking right now? he wants to go out again. and i want to really badly too. but my bestie says its up to me but she doesnt wanna see me get hurt.
now dont get me wrong - i wanted the sex today, i needed it so dont think anything like he raped me or anything, ok?
thanks a ton
x
The Answer
What you should be thinking is "Yeah, that was fun, but I probably shouldn't do it again if I don't want to get hurt."
Friends with benefits relationships can work, but they hardly ever work out nicely with exes. There is just too much emotional baggage, too much miscommunication, too many expectations. So take what ya got, remember it fondly, and if you want to fool around with someone else just because you need it, go for it. But I can pretty much guarantee you if you try to make a casual sex arrangement work with your ex, you will end up hurt somehow.
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The Question
I've been going out with my boyfriend for almost 5 months now. Our relationship started out a little rocky because, well to be honest, he had a girlfriend for 2 months. (I don't count those as part of our relationship, because we weren't really "together" in my mind). So we've had issues from the start. For the first bit of time that we were "together" but not really, I was never sure how long our little fling was going to last. But he did end up breaking up with his long-distance girlfriend, and we became official.
This is my first boyfriend. I went from being pretty much single for 18 years of my life to being in what feels like an extremely serious relationship, where we never spend a day apart. We have the same classes, the same friends, and we spend every night together. At first, this didn't bother me. But now I'm feeling like I need space. He says that I don't talk to him enough, and that I say one thing, but act a different way. Like I say I want to spend time with him, but I don't act like I do. Honestly, I just don't know what to do. He's right, and part of me thinks it's because I'm afraid of how I feel. Or maybe I want to feel things that I don't. I really just don't know. I need help.
I'm a 19 year old college girl, he's 23, and I need some advice.
The Answer
There is a HUGE difference between quality time and quantity of time. Right now you guys are having a huge quantity of time together, but it sounds like the quality of time is really lacking.
I agree with you needing space. Most married couples don't spend as much time together as you two currently do. Of course you don't talk to him enough! What else could you possibly have to tell him! He knows every thing that happens to you. Eventually you are bound to run out of things to say if he around you basically 24/7.
Keep your wits about you. This guy is a bit old to be so needy and demanding. At 23 I would hope he would have a better idea of what an adult relationship actually consisted of. Yours is not typical of relationships, and it might not be healthy.
He might be right about you not acting as though you enjoy his company as much as you actually do. Imagine eating ice cream for every meal everyday. No matter how much you love ice cream, eventually you'll get tired out it. So tell him that you need your space, so that you can appreciate him more. It might hurt him, he might act like he doesn't understand, but that is the truth. So make plans with your girlfriends, even go and visit someone, maybe family for a night or two, pick up a hobby or club away from him. You canâ??t be happy in a relationship unless you are happy on your own and you wont be happy on your own if you never get any time by yourself.
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The Question
ok so my friend spent the night with me for the first time 2 nights ago. and she was just admiring my earings, well today when i went to school she has that on and my shark tooth necklace. i said those are my earrings, and thats my necklace. and she goes "no my mom made me go to clairs with her". ok 1. she lied to me bkuz when i gt home i looked everywhere for them and 2. she stole from me. what mom "makes" their daughter go to clairs with her. not her mom, i know her mom. i am sooo mad at her, what should i do? i really want to tell her mom bkuz i really want to get her in trouble, please help, i'm desperate! thx...
The Answer
Ya know, I had the exact same thing happen with my favorite sweater when I was thirteen and like you, I never had any proof. So I stayed her 'friend' although I put some distance between her and I, and I never invited her over to my house agian.
So confront your 'friend', in private, and give her an oppertunity to give the things back. Something simple and calm like "I know those are mine. If you give them back now we don't have to talk about this ever agian."
She probably wont.
But you aren't doing anyone any favors if you accuse her without proof to anyone else, and you'll never really be able to prove it. You'll only cause drama and 'he said/she said' fights. Don't bother to tell her mother. Almost noone's mother takes another child's side over thier own no matter how compelling the evidence is.
Tell your story if you are asked, but you don't need to badmouth her. If she is guilty, other people will figure it out soon enough, and then they might ask you for your story. Save it till then and keep your distance.
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The Question
Hello. I'm going to spray paint a car. It doesn't run, and doesn't really have any hopes of ever running again. I'm using it for an art project.
I want to spray paint it.
Any tips/anything I did to know/use before I start.
(don't tell me how stupid this is. i know already. but its for a project.)
The Answer
It would probably be worth it to you to invest in spray paint made espcailly for auto body work or outdoor metal surfaces. Normal indoor spray paint works best on surfaces that aren't ultra smooth like a car's body, they would probably run more, and would take way longer to dry.
Otherwise, have fun.
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The Question
15f
ok so my boyfriend didnt call me for 2 days and
he didnt give me any explination. he just said that he was busy but that he really loves me. also, he started telling me something about his friend and he said wow see i have nothing to talk about with you so i have to talk about my friend. that got me really angry, any input on this? also, he said i have so many things to say but no one to talk to. so i got really hurt like how can he tell me this? how can i get him to open up to me like what should i say to him. i already told him if he needed anything that he can always count on me becase i love him but i dont know what to say im just so mad and i just need advice what should i do? break up with him? help
The Answer
Two days is nothing. It means nothing. My life gets busy. There have been weeks where I have not spoken to my significant other. Of course I give them warning of it, but still, two days, means nothing.
Also, if you guys talk everyday, sooner or later you are going to run out of things to talk about. That doesn't mean the relationship is failing, that means you've gotten close enough that some things just don't need to be said anymore. You probably know his schedule as well as he does.
Don't be so insecure and don't be so obsessive. In teenage relationships talking to each other everyday might be typical, because you both have a good deal of free time, but to tell you the truth that doesn't happen in adult relationships, because sometimes, adults don't have the time. You need to learn that things are okay, even if your boyfriend isn't checking in with you everyday.
Don't get angry with him for not opening up with you. Dump him if you feel like you two aren't connecting but getting mad wouldn't help a single thing. Sometimes when you ask someone what they are thinking about and they say 'nothing' they were actually thinking about nothing. Sometimes when they have nothing to say, they really have nothing to say. If you feel like some thing is holding him back, ask him if you need to talk, ask him what is bothering him. If he thinks you are going to get mad or be judgemental if he opens up, then it’s no wonder he doesn’t. Chill out. Don’t tell him he can trust you. Show him by trusting him first.
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The Question
DO the boys have to wear anything when girls give them blow job or is it just straight penis?
thankss
The Answer
If you want to be protected from STDs (and you want to be protected right?) then the guy should wear a condom.
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The Question
there's this guy that i would love to date, and i'm pretty sure he'd love to date me too, there's just one problem--he has really bad acne. acne totally grosses me out, and i wouldn't want to be close to him or anything because of it. what would be a nice way of telling him to wash his face or use proactive every once and a while?
The Answer
There is no nice way to tell him that.
Washing his face likely wont solve the problem and although Proactive is pretty effective, it's also really expensive. You could make the suggestion to him in a sideways manner like "You know, proactive/clearasil/whatever, really worked for my friend/sister/whatever." He'll still likely be a bit hurt, but he might also be able to tell you why he can’t, or doesn’t worry about those things.
If you can't see past the acne, then you need to find someone else to date.
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The Question
one my good friends, "liz" has a boyfriend, "andy" of about a year and a half or more. she is completely in love with him, and they're cute together. she's a sophomore and he's a junior (and so am i and my boyfriend.) they went together to prom last week and everything, even though she goes to a different school. another couple that rode in our limo with liz & her boyfriend and my boyfriend & i was our friend and his date-- megan. now things get tricky.
megan and andy sort of have a "thing" for each other. (yeah, let's just say that was an awkward limo ride.) andy and my boyfriend play baseball together, and so i sit with liz. but for the past few weeks, megan has been coming to the games and rooting for andy. and since liz doesn't go to school with us all, we can all see andy and megan flirting and everything quite often. liz and andy even went to one of megan's track meets becuase andy "felt bad because she comes to all his baseball games." (which is, well, bullshit.).
my question is whether i should tell liz or not. my best friend and i tried to discreetly talk to her about it and asked her what she though, but she didnt' seem to be concerned-- i think she's too blinded by being in love with andy. (which in this case, is a bad thing.) if i tell her all this, i know it will break her heart, and i dont' really want to be the bearer of bad news. but then again, i dont' want to have her get her heart broken by him, and then come to realize everything later. advice, please!
The Answer
Flirting isn't cheating, and it's not your place to get involved.
People will often, almost always, have interests outside thier relationship. That doesn't make them cheaters or bad people. Just that they are human. You've hinted at Liz and she isn't worried. That's all you really need to do for her.
If you feel you really need to get into this you might be better to point out to Andy that his behavior with Megan is crossing the line. He might know it deep down, but just be uncomfortable addressing it until someone else tells him it really isn't okay.
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The Question
i heard it's not good to tan with contacts because they could melt, is this true?
The Answer
No. It's an urban myth.
Most places will recommend removing contact lenses before you tan, but that is only because tanning beds can make your eyes very dry, so contacts become uncomfortable. Good places will also provide you with protective glasses that make it basically impossible for UV light to get to your eyes, or your contacts. But no, they wont melt.
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The Question
ok heres the thing. i'm so upset because my mother always does this to me. she's like "oh, we're going someplace," and then i get all happy and right when i'm about ready to go, she says "no, i'm too tired." or "no, it's too far, we'll go tommorrow!" and it just pisses me off soooo much!! the thing that i'm even madder about is that she's the only one who CAN drive me around, because first of all the place i want to go is a little bit too far for someone who doesn't have much practice to go by myself on like the turnpike, but for her, it's a piece of cake! and she really wanted to go before that, but she just does this to me every time. she's like, go study, but i have no homework. i don't have to do anything for school. all i wanted was to go watch a wrestling tournament that i told her about YESTURDAY and she won't take me!! and i'm super, super upset. i want to get there before it ends, which is like at 3:00, and i want advice on how to get there. let me point out that like i have no friends, because i hate everyone in my school because it's a stupid snobby little empire and i've just excluded everyone, so friends or anything can take me. the only person who CAN take me is probably my cousins or something, but i don't really think they like me too much, the ones who can take me. i don't know why, they're just very quiet. but, please please give me advice, because i'm like smoke coming out of my ears because i don't like it when she does this, and she does it ALWAYS. plus, i've pointed it out to her and she tries not to do it, but she does, so i just don't want to talk to her about it anymore!! i just need some advice on what to do. please and thank you
The Answer
Stop getting excited about things she says, take a cab, take the bus, make a friend, get your permit so all she has to do it sit there in the car while you drive, make her a deal like "Okay, you are tired. If you drive me here, I'll clean up after dinner when I get home/or I'll clean you sheets and make the bed/or I'll clean the bathroom. Would that help?”
Parents are people too. That means they make mistakes, do selfish things, lie and just generally screw up. Hating her for it is a waste of your time, so instead of getting upset and defeatist, get creative and find a solution. It might be something so stupid as getting her favorite cup of coffee ready when she gets home for work, or having started dinner or set the table in advance, anything that makes her life simpler and less overwhelming might make her go “Sure I’m a bit tired, but why not?” It also might not work, and then you move on to things like getting yourself a bus pass.
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The Question
alright i hav a distant relationship with this girl. she is 10 years old and im 15/m. ok first thing i kno what your thinking, the age difference. well i really dont care, age doesnt matter to me its the the person you found true love with. well anyways we are just distant bf and gf but someday we hope to meet eachother. when we were talking on the phone she said that she's gonna might be in some sort of trouble for making out with a guy who is like 15 years old. her friends knew and are going to tell her dad because they think it counts as child molesting. first of all does that even count as child molesting? the guy is only like 5 years older than her and i dont think there was no forcing they just kissed. oh and the girl may be 10 but she is more developed, she has the body and mind of a teen and i know her friends were just protecting her. so does it even count as child molesting? she said she might get some sort of counseling and i dont wanna lose her if they do anything to keep her away from older guys. i'm not like the bad kind of guy. it's just something about her makes me feel all warm inside..
The Answer
I don’t know where people get their information sometimes...
Most states would define what happened to her as sexual assault or sexual interference. Yes, even though it was just a kiss, and it wasn’t forced, there are still states where the 15 year old could be charged, there are all a whole host of other things someone can be charged with besides rape and molestation. The DA would look at her particular case and would probably not choose to press charges, but I really do want to impress this on you, and I’m not calling you a bad person, I’m just giving you the facts: A 15 year old involved in any sort of sexual contact, kissing, holding, dating, with a 10 year old, is illegal in most states.
It is true that many states have it written into their sexual assault laws that teens close in age won’t be charged. Georgia wont charge if the offender is no more than three years older then victim, Ohio will only fine an offender if that offender is less that four years older than the victim. No state makes allowances for 5 years age difference; four is pretty much the max.
Also. If she is ever 15 and you are 21, a sexual relationship could get you charged in most states (Pennsylvania, Tennessee, Texas, Wisconsin, Missouri, Louisiana, New York, to name a few…) If you plan on perusing this is the future, you better know you state laws and know them well, and know how judges commonly interpret them.
As I said before, dating or kissing isn’t statutory rape or molestation, but there are other things a person can be charged with, and the parents, and state, have legal avenues to pursue.
A relationship, between a 10 year old and a 15 year old is pretty generally accepted as a harmful thing. I would encourage you, as I’d encourage anyone is an online relationship, to not put too much stock into text on a screen, and get out and experience the real world as well. No matter how mature she is, she isn’t fifteen. It will be a solid decade before you and her at really at the same level of understanding and maturity. Those are the facts of life, and of the laws. You might not like them, you might not even believe them, but your opinions don’t change them, so you better educate yourself.
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The Question
My boyfriend granted himself an "all-access pass" to my vagina after I'm done my period. And I'm a little nervous. How hairy should it be? and what is he gonna do? Please help!
The Answer
He 'granted himself' a pass eh? Whose vagina is it again?
Seriously dear, if you want to give up control, if you find it exciting the idea that he can do what he wants to you, that is awesome. But if this is stressing you out, making you nervous and uncomfortable you need to tell him to STOP.
He doesn't get to do ANYTHING until you tell him he can. He doesn't get to grant himself any rights over your body unless you've told him he is allowed to. If you need to know what he is planning for your own piece of mind tell him so. Something like "I know you are trying to surprise me, but I'm really not going to be comfortable with this unless you explain what you have in mind beforehand." should do the trick. Maybe after you guys talk about it a bit more and you know he can respect your boundaries, you'll feel confident enough to let him surprise you.
This is all assuming the two of you are already sexually active with each other. If this his idea of a good way to start a sexual relationship with you, run for the hills, because that is controlling and amazingly insensitive of a guy to say if he doesn't have an established sexual relationship with you. That kind of play is for people with a solid knowledge of one another’s bodies and a deep trust. It’s not something boys get to just do cause they wanna.
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