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my boyfriend..breakup? help ideas!!
15f
ok so my boyfriend didnt call me for 2 days and
he didnt give me any explination. he just said that he was busy but that he really loves me. also, he started telling me something about his friend and he said wow see i have nothing to talk about with you so i have to talk about my friend. that got me really angry, any input on this? also, he said i have so many things to say but no one to talk to. so i got really hurt like how can he tell me this? how can i get him to open up to me like what should i say to him. i already told him if he needed anything that he can always count on me becase i love him but i dont know what to say im just so mad and i just need advice what should i do? break up with him? help
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Well, first, two days is not that long for someone not to call you. Second of all, it's not like he got pissed at you because you didn't call him for two days, which you could have. You should not break up with your boyfriend just because of this. When you talk to your boyfriend every single day for hours, it leaves nothing to talk ABOUT but the same old thing over and over. Going for two days in between phone conversations will give you something to talk about when you do talk. Furthermore, if you want to talk to your boyfriend and he hasn't called you, then call HIM. If you don't put equal effort into the relationship, he's going to find someone who will.
Hope that helped!!
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Hello.
I can see how that would really make you angry actually - I'd probably feel the same to say the least.
For starters I will say though (about somehting else you mentioned) there are some things that a guy/girl need friends to talk to things about which they just can't with a boyfriend or girlfriend. It took a while for my last girlfriend to accept this but alas she had to accept it because that's really just the way it was. So it may not be that he can't open up to you but just it's things he needs or prefers to talk to another friend about. You can't really force someone open to make them open up to you it comes with time like many things do. All I can suggest is you let him know that you're there for him if he ever needs to talk about anything and such. As long as he knows this it should be okay then at last he knows you're there if he never needs you.
As for the thing he said to you on the phone when he was talking about his friend. I'd have found that quite offensive I think. To me that would come across as he/she's bored talking to me. Have you both been together long? It might even be time you do need to decide if this is the person you want to be with. If he finds he has nothing to talk to you about or gets bored and is a closed book itmay just feel that the relationship is going nowhere. This might be someting you will need to tell him so you canboth try and deal with it. I know I said sometimes everyone jus needs a friend to talk to and not a partner but a partner still does have the right to know where they stand.
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Two days is nothing. It means nothing. My life gets busy. There have been weeks where I have not spoken to my significant other. Of course I give them warning of it, but still, two days, means nothing.
Also, if you guys talk everyday, sooner or later you are going to run out of things to talk about. That doesn't mean the relationship is failing, that means you've gotten close enough that some things just don't need to be said anymore. You probably know his schedule as well as he does.
Don't be so insecure and don't be so obsessive. In teenage relationships talking to each other everyday might be typical, because you both have a good deal of free time, but to tell you the truth that doesn't happen in adult relationships, because sometimes, adults don't have the time. You need to learn that things are okay, even if your boyfriend isn't checking in with you everyday.
Don't get angry with him for not opening up with you. Dump him if you feel like you two aren't connecting but getting mad wouldn't help a single thing. Sometimes when you ask someone what they are thinking about and they say 'nothing' they were actually thinking about nothing. Sometimes when they have nothing to say, they really have nothing to say. If you feel like some thing is holding him back, ask him if you need to talk, ask him what is bothering him. If he thinks you are going to get mad or be judgemental if he opens up, then it’s no wonder he doesn’t. Chill out. Don’t tell him he can trust you. Show him by trusting him first.
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