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Communication and Space
I've been going out with my boyfriend for almost 5 months now. Our relationship started out a little rocky because, well to be honest, he had a girlfriend for 2 months. (I don't count those as part of our relationship, because we weren't really "together" in my mind). So we've had issues from the start. For the first bit of time that we were "together" but not really, I was never sure how long our little fling was going to last. But he did end up breaking up with his long-distance girlfriend, and we became official.
This is my first boyfriend. I went from being pretty much single for 18 years of my life to being in what feels like an extremely serious relationship, where we never spend a day apart. We have the same classes, the same friends, and we spend every night together. At first, this didn't bother me. But now I'm feeling like I need space. He says that I don't talk to him enough, and that I say one thing, but act a different way. Like I say I want to spend time with him, but I don't act like I do. Honestly, I just don't know what to do. He's right, and part of me thinks it's because I'm afraid of how I feel. Or maybe I want to feel things that I don't. I really just don't know. I need help.
I'm a 19 year old college girl, he's 23, and I need some advice.
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Tell him how you feel about all of this. There is no way to work it out if you don't speak up.
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Well how exactly do u feel? When you find out how you feel than you can decide how to go about this problem!
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There is a HUGE difference between quality time and quantity of time. Right now you guys are having a huge quantity of time together, but it sounds like the quality of time is really lacking.
I agree with you needing space. Most married couples don't spend as much time together as you two currently do. Of course you don't talk to him enough! What else could you possibly have to tell him! He knows every thing that happens to you. Eventually you are bound to run out of things to say if he around you basically 24/7.
Keep your wits about you. This guy is a bit old to be so needy and demanding. At 23 I would hope he would have a better idea of what an adult relationship actually consisted of. Yours is not typical of relationships, and it might not be healthy.
He might be right about you not acting as though you enjoy his company as much as you actually do. Imagine eating ice cream for every meal everyday. No matter how much you love ice cream, eventually you'll get tired out it. So tell him that you need your space, so that you can appreciate him more. It might hurt him, he might act like he doesn't understand, but that is the truth. So make plans with your girlfriends, even go and visit someone, maybe family for a night or two, pick up a hobby or club away from him. You canâ??t be happy in a relationship unless you are happy on your own and you wont be happy on your own if you never get any time by yourself.
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