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Q: i have this friend and we get in fights all the time and i love her to death but it seems like were no supposed to be friends but i really want to be friends with her...whast should i do

-to hate or not to hate-

13/f

Read Harry Potter Book Two. It says "It is our choices, Harry, that shows who we truely are, far more than our abilities." If you need a translation of how that applies to you, I'll show you.
You want to be friends with her. You chose that you want to be friends with her. Your abilities say that you aren't supposed to be friends with her, as you are not able to live without getting into fights. Yet, you have stayed together this long. Because choices are more than abilities.
Stay with her as long as you want to be her friend, not as long as you are supposed to be her friend.
Hope this helped!
-Steven

Q: ok you guys! i need help with a s/n. i've tried everythingggggggg and i juss can't think of one. here are some examples of things i like.

-my names meg
-15
-like stores such as abercrombie, hollister, american eagle, etc
-tall/long legs

i juss want something unique er cute er something. basically it's an easy 5 if you guys juss answer

thanks!

xOabercromeg15Ox?

Maybe... Just came up with it.

Q: HIIIIII STEVENNNNNNNNNN.
Do you have AIM!?

-amyrichardson =)

GMSB543. I'm not going to be on much this week as I have band camp...

Q: Do you think its okay to teach your child to hit someone back if they hit him first?

Definately not. Doing such will cause them to get involved into fights and riots. It will make him an agressive person, and he will begin to hit when not even triggered eventually.
Not a good idea.
-Steven

Q: Whats a good idea for a first day of school outfit? im going to be a freshman. dress code doesnt really exist. im skinny/thin. brown hair. green eyes. i have kindof a preppish/casual look. i like to wear jeans. money isnt a big issue. i just need ideas. makeup ideas are good too. and i dont wanna look too dressed up.

Well, I like seeing girls in skirts on the first day... And a pink Ambercrombie shirt. I'd love to see a girl in that, it'd be so cute...
Just a suggestion... I know fashion isn't really my thing... I don't even know if Blue matches with Red... Speaking of which, does it?
-Steven

Q: Ok,you see, there is this guy thatI really like
and he knows it and he told me that he liked me...he is really sweet to me and if i'm having
a bad day then hr will try anything to make me feel better.But the problem is that he has a
girlfriend and i'm like madly in love with this guy and i dont no wat 2 do!?!?!?

Wait. Just wait for the right moment. See, if you attempt to make him either break up with her or like you more, things will happen. One possibility is that he will hate you for trying to interfere with his relationship. Another is that his girlfriend will absolutely tear you apart for taking him or trying to take him away. A third is that you'll be seen as a girl with no respect for others who are going out.
Well, that can all be avoided. Just wait until he breaks up with her, plus a month. That's when you start getting closer to asking him.
-Steven

Q: I am babysitting for this wild kid on Friday evening. He is a good boy age 7. BUT, he is everywhere at once! Any ideas on what kind of calming things I can do to entertain him so he isn't running through the house like a little maniac? I can just see him falling into sharp corners and things!

Put on a movie, and sit there and watch it with him. If he wants to gets up, ask where he is going, to make sure it has a destination.
If that doesn't work, play a board game with him. They generally help keep a person in one place. Make it long, like Monopoly.
If you do this, I think he'll remain fine.
-Steven

Q: The following questions are not really being asked so that I can be advised about my own beliefs, but rather to (hopefully) stimulate discussion.

Anyway, my first question is this:

Many people believe that God must exist because the universe itself exists. In essence, they believe that the universe was caused by something, and that cause was God. The argument assumes three things. 1. It assumes existence is necessarily caused. 2. It assumes that existence was caused by a conscious, intelligent being.

Now, it seems to me that the idea that the cause is conscious and intelligent, and even a being, is open to question. Maybe the cause is some transcendant FORCE? The first assumption, as well, is questionable. No one is sure if we have every really observed existence being caused. We have seen things change forms, but not pop into existence. Not only that, but theories in quantum physics hold that subatomic particles often appear out of nowhere, with no cause. Many events in the subatomic realm are said to be uncaused. This seems to openly refute the first assumption.

Do you agree or disagree with this? Discuss.

The second argument I'd like to make is in regards to the other big argument for God, that being the argument of design. It basically states that because life is so complex, it couldn't have arisen from chance and it had to be designed.

My objections to this are as follows:
1. If complex life must have been designed by some intelligent force, then the designer (being intelligent) must also have been designed. The designers would have to go back into an infinite regression. This is hardly a plausible idea, because it needlessly multiplies entities without any reason for supposing their existence.

2. The theory of evolution shows how life can evolve from simpler organisms without any intentional design. This is not caused by 'random chance', but by the forces of natural selection, genetic drift, and sexual selection, among others. None of these selection mechanisms are "random". The mutations are random, but the species that survive are not chosen at random.

Is there an adequate way to defend the design theory against these arguments? How would you do so?

Another common argument (this is the last one) is that, given the Big Bang theory, the chances of this specific life-supporting universe originating have such small odds of happening that it seems absurd to say it happened by pure chance.

My objections:
1. Simply because the probability is very low for this given universe doesn't mean that it is IMPOSSIBLE for the universe to form this way by chance.

2. If we were to emphasize the chances of a universe being created that had, say, a lot of big, gaseous planets like jupiter and very few like Earth, this would also be very improbable. The point is that emphasizing life seems arbitrary. Any other possible outcome would be just as improbable.

3. Your own existence is very improbable as well. Think about it. You were composed of a specific sperm out of millions and a specific egg out of thousands. Your parents, grand-parents, and all your other ancestors for however old humans have been around were also subject to this very low probability of being born. If we factor in the chance of each of your relatives meeting and the chances of them having sex at a particular time, the chances become even lower for your own existence. Given all these variables (and there are many more), the chances of your existence are VERY improbable. Does this mean that you weren't created through sexual reproduction (a process of "random" selection among sperm and eggs) but that some being--maybe a stork?--guided you into existence?

Obviously, the fine-tuning argument fails for the reasons the stork argument fails. Do you agree or disagree? Why or why not?

Feel free to pick and choose objects of discussion. Hopefully there will be some interesting responses to give me something to think about!

Some of these may pertain directly or indirectly
The first argument of creation can be seen in many different ways. You see, asking if the creator was created and it goes back is the same as with this universe. There is no start point, as the thing is not alive. Yes, God is a spirit, so therefore, never having to be born, has no beggining.
The second has to do with science. Science exists, evolution exists, no doubt. But, you are missing a point. God created science. That is why things may be able to be known about, as he wanted us to know how.
The third is with the probability of life. Even if life was created on the shores, the thing that is missing is the soul. Yes, that thing that makes you move with destination, not thinking "Oh, food. I need food." That cannot be created. Our bodies do not think, our souls do.
The last argument is a simple one. All of the things you are arguin is because God willed them to be. He made that to test your faith. Because, faith is the most important thing in his eyes, and he wants you to prove that you have it.
-Steven

Q: I could probably answer my own advice, but I want someone else's opinion.It started 3 years ago when I was 16. After my boyfriend and I broke up I started downing myself alot. I felt I let the situation go out of control and I had always since my childhood let others get the best of me and control me, I think around the time my boyfriend and I broke up I developed my eating disorder. I have also had other problems like with cutting, trichillomania, anxiety, and depression. I am like a VERY nervous person and it's hard to control my moods and all. Everyday is a struggle to be perfect sometimes i just wish i could cure this disorder and move on and know that being thin isnt everything, but when I see someone thinner than me or someone on tv I am triggered and feel so bad whenever I do eat. I will literally starve for 5 days, then binge the next two days and then starve again then binge and purge and the cycle continues. My question is I feel worthless and like I have lost all hope on getting better, my boyfriend that I broke up with 3 years ago well we are back together and he knows about me being bulimic and anorexic, he yells at me because he hates that I do that to myself and he has even said 'you either choose me or the disorder.' he doesnt understand, i love him so much and i would do anything for him but i cant stop doing this too myself, it is so much in my head to stop. He always says Im too skinny but never really tried to help me, sometimes he even makes negative comments to me even when he knows that makes it worse. What can I say to make him understand? Its so awkward that he knows my biggest secret.

Well, your idea will only offer temporary relief, as your problem will cause other problems. But, if you wish for him to understand, tell him that you know that you have a problem. And tell him that you are doing it because you have no choice. Let him know that ultimatums usually always increase the problem at hand, and that you are hoping that through his support, you can break it.
If that was all you wanted, then you can stop here. If you actually WANT to stop, read on.

If you wish to stop, then you have to realise which of your problems go hand in hand. See, I believe you have an unbeknowest Morphine addiction. Let me explain.
Each time you feel pain, your body produces a substance like morphine. In higher pains, it produces more. Having a lot of this can lead to an addiction. This addiction comes from such stuff as cutting, pulling hair, and starving yourself. They go hand in hand.
If you wish to stop one, you need to stop all 3. This is kind of complex and difficult to do, so I suggest that you visit a psychiatric ward for about a week, as it will help. Normally, I suggest a cold turkey-rewards method (Proven to work 95% of the time), but that usually only works for one addiction. After that week, you should be a week clean. You have a few things to do then. Eat. Don't cut. And don't pull. Sound hard? Each day you're free, give yourself something that you want. Eventually, you'll get more.
I am willing to personally mentor you through this, I have done others as well. sbloemeke2@yahoo.com. I will talk as long as you need, even if it is 4 years. All I need is what is the cause that made you start cutting? That is probably where we'll start.
-Steven

Q: what do u do to get rid of hiccups??

People usually suggest other methods such as trying to become really scared or drink water, but those normally don't work for me. Only 2 ways do.
1. Hold your breath and take a drink of water. The combo of the two methods somehow tend to work a lot for me...
2. Do something else. Something that requires a lot of attention, like a video game, and take your entire mind of hiccupping. Usually, that gets rid of them.

Q: hey whats the best workout to tone your lower stomach? thanx xxx

Crinches. 5 reps of 20 a day. Easily the best.

Q: ok not too long ago i put a question up about my b/f but after breakin up with him i took him back and everything is goin fine except...my dad dont like him cuz hes blak and he wants me to dump him..but i dont know what to do?

Just live for your own life, not your dads. If he wants it, then let him know that this is YOUR life, you do what you want with it. And then go right ahead and carry on. He cannot force you to stop seeing him, so why let him persuade you?>
-Steven

Q: Hey Everyone..k i have a really weird problem..i can not do a push up. any tips? maybe im not doing it correctly or something? ive tried but like just one pushup takes so much effort, and i can barely do one! please help! thanks!

Hey,
It took me years to do a proper pushup... It requires training. What you do is make sure that your hip remains entirely straight. Do not let the butt come up. Go down and up. Do not bend the knees either.
Take your arms, and spread them wide. Palms facing down, with the middle finger pointed straight ahead. This will be more difficult at first, but it will eventually allow you to do more than you ever did.
And PRACTICE. Practice it at least 20 to 60 reps a day. Force yourself to, and the muscle will build.
Hope this helps!
-Steven

Q: hey! I love to read! Im a sophmore, female! I Love a great book! the kinds that you cannot put down! I

Well, I've had a lot that I could not put down... I'll list a few from recent times and my past...
1. A life God Rewards for Teens. Mainly, I just read that to get me unsuicidal...
2. Sabriel. Garth Nix. If you are entigued by the dead, then read it.
3. The Seventh Tower. Same guy. Really easy read, though it is 6 books long. Yet, it is one of the best stories I've ever read.
4. The Lord of The Rings. Frodo!
5. The Dark is Rising Sequence- Susan Cooper. The main book in the sequence remains the best story I've ever read.

Just some ideas... But I'm a fantasy guy, you may want other stories.
-Steven

Q: This is the first question I've asked on here. I've answered a few questions, but this is the first I've asked. Here it is: It seems to me like people wanting advice should accept what's offered and "take it or leave it." I've read so many questions that end with, "and don't tell me to ______ because of _______." Not a problem. If people don't want certain types of advice (i.e. silly, stupid, sarcastic, etc.) then that would be fine. But what it seems to be most of the time is a legitimate answer. If someone is having a problem with something, doesn't it make sense to explore all options? It seems to me that some people (not the majority by any means) have something they want to hear and won't accept anything but that. Am I alone in this thought?

Well, some times. I have noticed a few of them actually having some validity. Like asking what color to paint their room and then saying "And it cannot be Red because my mom won't allow it."
Yet some are definately not. I have been helping this girl for 5 straight months as a personal mentor, and her biggest issue is that she cannot open up. Such as saying that she cannot stop cutting because of her past. Those things are not good.

Q: i know smoking is horrible for you & all.. but i love the feeling when your high.. it feels like your on a cloud.. and i just love smoking cigerettes.. i mean how can i get over this stuff.?

You can get over it by admitting that you have a problem. If you cannot admit it, then you still are not ready to recover.
That is where you have 2 options. The first option is to go cold turkey, which means that you stop smoking forever. Really hard. The first 2 days are the worst. The 2nd is to get a patch, and follow their methods. A lot better.
But, you may not even have a problem. That's when you weight in what you value more. The feelings of being high or living past 50. I am not trying to be funny here, it is a real choice. Some people take the first, and that is perfectly acceptable. Others take the second.
Hope I helped!
-Steven

Q: hey everyone. so in my opinion, im friends with the "popular" people at school. Like, im in their group and sit with them at lunch. we're bffs lol. now, in your opinions, does this make me popular?? ill rate!!!

It really depends. If you are true friends with them, such as if they wonder where you are, then you are in with the popular croud, thus making you popular. If not, then you could be seen as either popular, or a playtoy. Popular kids sometimes do things like that, where they find someone who was less than average on the popular scale, and pretend to be friends with them.
But, I think it's more the latter as you sound popular just by your request. So I conclude yes.

Q: My mom makes me wear the dumbest clothes! It's so annoying. She's Chinese, and she grew up in a society you get one pair of pants a year. I'm 13, but the kind of clothes I have to wear are like for a ten-year-old! I hate it! Stuff like pink and white striped T shirts and rose-printed shorts and stuff she thinks that are "cute" and "what kids should wear." I H-A-T-E pastels!

Stuff like this:
http://www.target.com/gp/detail.html/ref=sc_pgc_r_6_0_13142261/601-1335553-9076132?%5Fencoding=UTF8&frombrowse=1&asin=B0007KQZ3Y

http://store.nordstrom.com/product/product_brandboutique.asp?styleid=2866100&boutique=roxy&category=2379292~2380331~2379796~2384475&NextStyleID=2866090&PrevStyleID=2866103
(COPY and PASTE)

Ive tried talking to her, but she never changes her mind. When I show her my kind of stuff, she wrinkles her nose.
On the other hand, I like stuff like Converse shoes, torn jeans, tyedye stuff like that. People never take me seriously! What should I do and where can I get some good jeans?

I cannot ask the second part, and I'm a guy and normally don't look for that kind of stuff, but I can help you with the first.
Tell your mom that it is time that she lets go. She may have had one set of pants a year when she grew up, but this is today. Today is the time where people have thousands of shirts, and wear each only once. Let her know that she is very lucky that you aren't like some girls who want to wear shirts that reveal 90% skin, and pants that are below the hipline. Tell her that you just want to buy some decent clothes that can allow you to fit in. Make sure that you say fit in. Tell her that is is socially causing you problems, and that you wish she would stop preventing you from having a social life. What she sees cute is not generally accepted.
Let her know, and offer to pay for the clothes yourself (You may do that now...). And if she wrinkles her nose again, tell her that she's lucky that you're not on drugs because most kids who get refused this many things usually turn to them.
-Steven

Q: me n my boyfriend have been goin out for close to 3 months... but he gets mad at me for really stupid shit ... he got mad becuz i hung up on him wen he was ignoring me...and i am scared to say sumthin becuz im afradi he will take it the wrong way and break up with me... i mean he hangs up on me all the time!!! i ahve no idea what to do... it really bothers me... what should i do?

It's simple. Call him up and just tell him "I'm really sorry about that last call. I didn't know that you were still listening. I thought you were busy doing something else, and I had something to do..."
I'm really sorry to tell you this, but if he is getting mad at you a lot, I do not think that your relationship will last much longer. It's one of the latter stages of a relationship. Sorry...
-Steven

Q: Ok, Like i usally wear a size 3 in jenes, but latley my thighs have gotten so big, that i have had to start wearing a 7!Is there anything that can make my thighs any smaller?And also, I wouldn'y mind losing my pooch either.I rate high!

You probably have stopped growing, and are starting to need to watch what you eat. I would suggest stopping with all the sugar, and begin to eat the healthy stuff. Fruit's probably best, as it actually tastes good...
Also, you want to do activity. The thighs are probably best lost with jogging. I'd suggest you jog around 5 miles a day. Start slow, like do 1 mile, and gradually build up by adding a mile each week. Jog each day at a constant rate.
For the stomach, do crunches. They work like miracle workers. Maybe 60 a day should be fine.
Lastly, for more thigh, do squats. That's where you bend your knees, go down, and come back up. Really good for it.
Make sure to stretch. :)
-Steven

bio

THE PENGUIN RULES ALL! AHAHAHAHAHAHA! *Cough*
Hello! My name is Steven, and I am a mentor. Yes, that does mean that I help other people. I have helped over 1000 people to date, and have helped some individuals for over 1/2 a year. The miracle of my life occurred 17 years ago. I say miracle only because 1/4 babies survive to be born.
I am the first born of 2 children, and I am also the black sheep. I listen to Classical Music, so you can call me a weirdo. :P. I have Obsessive Compulsive Disorder, so take no offense if my answers never seem to end.
In school, I get As and Bs. More Bs really. I play trombone, and was the section leader of the trombones at my school. This year, I am the captain of the entire brass section. I am an Eagle Scout, so I guess that says I'm persistant? You make the call. I am a 3 time varsity letter winner, looking for a 4th next winter. I also participate in the musical, where I am a Bass 2. :)
I am straight, and have never had a relationship beyond a friend. However, I have survived the bumps in the road, and can advise you if you wish it. Though, it's not my strength.
I'm here for you, and only you. That means that my advise will not always confort you. Heck, it may even scare you. Yet, I want you to do what is best for your mind. Not what is typically seen as best for you, but what YOU see best for YOU. Heck, if you wanted what was seen as best for you, you would've asked your parents what you should do. They give you what's typically best.
Alright, before I start getting tendinitis from writing that over and over again, I'll just say what I mean. I mean that if you ask me about something, let's say walking 10 miles a day, and I think it's rediculous, yet you are asking for something to do, I am NOT going to say "10 miles is the type of a thing a anorexia athletica would do. Try 5." I'll give you something to do.
Oh, and I'm a L1 moderator, which means I rate questions.

Don't hesitate to IM me, I'm usually on. If I'm not, just drop one in the Inbox!

Oh, by the way, I am liberal in everything. That means that abortion is a woman's RIGHT, and gay marriage should be LEGAL.

Ask away!
-Steven