jenymca's advice column

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Q: basically i have met a guy that i really like, and really likes me, and i am sure that we will be dating soon. thing is i am a virgin and i know he isn't. he doesnt know this, will he care if i am?

Be careful! If he does care, then he is only in the relationship for sex. If he doesnt care, that doesnt mean he doesnt want to have sex with you (if you want to have sex with him), it just means that he likes you for more than just your body.

Q: Okay. So my friend is amazing at writing poems. He sent me a bunch and I almost cried during the first one because it was so sweet. I guess my question is.. how would he be able to get them published and how long would it take?

Thanks a tonne.

p.s. I dunno if this is in the right category.

Well I'm not quite sure about getting them professionally published but to get him started off he could publish them on Fictionpress.com. Its not REAL publishing but its a start. I guess you could google some publishing sites. Or if he wants to publish them in a book he could get them all published together himself on Cafepress or something. I hope he gets them published, good luck to him!

Q: I'm atheist and i'm just curious what christians and creationists think about dinosaurs. like where they came from, when they lived, etc. Any christians ive asked about this just kind of avoid it

I believe God made them and they died the way the scientists said, simple as that.

My sister, on the other hand, says dinorsaurs are a load of bullshit. She says scientist put bones in the ground to dig up and say they found something huge and amazing and wow.

Most christians just think dinosaurs existed like normal though. My Pastor said time might have been "longer" than thought or something (I mean...people lived to be really old sometimes). I dont question it much though, I just put my faith in God and thats all that mattered. I stopped worrying about that when I was like ten.

Q: Im loading songs onto my iPod and I can't think of any songs that I like... do you know where I can find lists of songs? Either that, or can you tell me some songs that you like?
Thanks :)

Anything by the band Bayside.

Q: does anyone know any music that isnt very popular (preferable alternative, indie type bands) or even singers that really no one knows about, but you think will hit it big in 2006? im looking for brand new artists that no one really knows of!! thanks a ton!

Bayside...FOR SURE. They just plain rock, they have the best music out in the music scene right now, what with an awesome sounding lead singer and great guitar solos...its just pure bliss to listen to them.

Q: Today I decided to completley put my faith and trust into God, I really took him into my life today. However, I just started going to church last year so I was never baptised and never confirmed. Can I still expect to go to Heaven? What exactly does being confirmed or baptised mean?

YES! You have trusted God and now you will be accepted by him. It is very happy to hear another person joining God. Baptizing means that you've been forgiven of all sins. I recommend getting baptized, you can do it at any age (I've seen adults at my church, I was a baby, my sister was 10). Confirmation isnt that important, its just learning about the bible (at least for me that was what it was) I was confirmed at the age of 15. I think "becoming a member of a church" is the same thing. Congratulations again!! I wish you the best in life with God!

Q: Hi, i was wondering if it it possible to miss a period? Ive been very active in sports this month and im a week late on my period. Thanks

Yeah, it used to happen to my older sister all the time when she was active and healthier.

Q: Hello... I'm a girl of 18 and i'm really confuse... I don't know why no one ask me out.. Everyone says that i'm a pretty girl and would rather want to have my face and figure.. I think i'm pretty and also sexy.. I have 34 25 36 and
guys enjoy staring at me when they see me.. I also always caught my friends staring on my belly or breast.. I have long dark brown hair and sexy lips.. But hey, i dunno why no one asks me out.. Almost all of my friends have their lovelife and i have not, and i'm prettier than them honestly.. Guys love to hang out with me because they think that i'm a cool girl.. Actually i have more boyfriends than girlfriends.. My friends also say that i'm really kind, understanding and i can always make them laugh.. Whenever a friend ask me if i have a boyfriend or a suitor, when i say no, they wouldn't believe it... I really don't understand... I had boyfriends but no serious relationships, they just cheated on me.. I don't know what's wrong with me... And i also don't hear that someone has a crush on me or something. CAn you tell what's going on???

I think there are two things here.

A.) Since you are prettier, lets face the truth you get the hotter guys. But not all hot guys are nice, and they can get a lot of hot girls, so they are probably more likely to cheat on you as opposed to a more homely guy (and I'm not telling you to date ugly guys, not at all!) I'm just giving an explanation.

B.) Guys are intimidated by your looks. You look good and that scares them in a way.

Q: hey im a guy...and no im not planning on getting an abortion. i was just wondering something: why is it that girls/women abort children instead of adopt them? i know there are plenty of reasons why, but is there one (or more) that would overshadow the case of giving birth then putting the baby up for adoption. looking for a girls point of view on this, because even if the girl didn't want the baby, would there be something wrong in giving it away instead of killing it? thanks, will rate.

I agree with you because I agree, there are so many people out there who desperatly want but cant get children. I think that killing the baby is just...cruel and inhuman (one case, if it hasnt even started developing like one week along then I'm not as harsh to it, because its really just the same as like having sex and wasting sperm and egg, you could say you are killing a baby there)

ANYWAY! To actually answer your questions, some girls do it so their parents wont find out. Some girls do it so they dont have to get stretch marks and fat and lose their figures. Some girls do it to hide the fact they were even pregnant fromm their boyfriends, and some because their boyfriends request it. Some are just plain scared and dont want to go through labor and all. Some dont want to get attatched to the baby at all so they just get rid of it early. Some dont want to bring children into what they think is a terrible corrupt harsh world. Some are only thinking of themselves, and they dont think that it makes a difference to the baby. Some are just not in a right state of mind and do rash decisions. The possiblities to the reasons are endless.

I hope I helped you at all, what an interesting and unique question.

Q: i'm having a baby girl and i don't know what to name her..i am 6 months..can somebody give me a site or some names to name her..please help

Ooh!
Ryan
Cilan
Shane
Madelaine (pronounced Mad-a-lane)
Evangeline
Bianca
Machenzi
Rose
Poet
Elizabeth
Marie
Ann-marie
Alondra
Samarah
Christine
Jennifer (that's my name!)
Angel Marie
Eamonia
Charlotte
Lottie
Odette
Kyung
China

So many more! Get original and creative but not too creative because remember, this is a real baby and a real name. Good luck to you and your baby!

Q: Well, my best friend died exactly a year ago as of yesterday. I'm not sure if many of you are familiar with my question I posted last year about her death, but so you can hear the whole story here's the link: http://advicenators.com/qview.php?q=248637

I've had a hard time dealing with her death, mentally and physically and I've been really depressed. I still blame myself for her death every day because I still feel that if I were there it wouldn't have happened.

I really need help coping with it... I've tried to keep myself busy with fencing, my boyfriend, my friends and schoolwork.. But nothing really seems to keep my mind fully off of what happened.

This past week, when her anniversary came up was when I really started to get depressed. I've gone to therapy because of her death and also because of other problems and my therapist keeps telling me that it wasn't my fault and that I couldn't have prevented it from happening. But if you really think about it, I COULD saved her. She kept begging me to go to the party with her but I said no because I wanted to be with my boyfriend. I think that if I wasn't being so selfish in wanting to spend so much time with my boyfriend, then I WOULD have gone to the party. My ex boyfriend WOULDN'T have slipped X in her drink he WOULDN'T have raped her and she WOULDN'T be dead.

I talk to her family almost every day and they always tell me that it's not my fault... But I still feel like it is.

How can I stop feeling like this is my fault? And how can I finally get closure on her death?

Wow, first off, I'm really sorry for your best friends death, but another thing is you need to realize that this was not your fault.

What happened was totally unexpected. You had no way to foresee that she was going to die. She was in the wrong situation at the wrong time, and maybe in a sense, she had fulfilled her time on earth. Maybe there was nothing left for her here and God decided to take her. I cant really counsel you in this and try to convince you it isnt your fault, because I doubt a person over advicenators would be able to do that.

I recommend seeking spiritual guidance. If you arent religous, now is a time to seek God, and if you are, now is a time to become closer. Talk to a Pastory, Preacher, Bishop, Rabbi, whatever religion you are, just talk to the leader. Surprising enough THEY HAVE GOOD ANSWERS. When my Uncle died, my Pastor helped me through it very much (I felt extremely guilty when he died because the last time I saw him I hardly talked to him, I never said goodbye, I never told him I loved him (he had been paralyzed, it was terribly awkward) and I felt soo guilty for that) It's been two years and now I feel completely healed, but for months I was crying and depressed and just...lacking emotions. My Pastor and praying and attending religious services healed me (although I will never be fully healed). I wish you the BEST of luck, and I hope some day you will finally make peace with the past and fulfill your life in happiness.

Q: i have an acoustic guitar. its probably about 6 years old and its out of tune. i love acoustic music! and i would love to learn how to play it. i have no idea how to read music though. can someone tell me how, internet sites, etc.

thanks!

Go to a music store and by a book. I got a book for Christmas and it comes with a CD and it teaches you like right from the basics. My book is called Guitar Method Book 1 and it either costs 9.95 or book 5.95 and cd 4.00. I REALLY recommend it. Or you can talk to a band teacher at your school and ask if you can get lessons.

Q: My parents never let me, nor take me to get my hair cut. I want bangs so bad, so im thinking about cutting them myself. I have the proper scissors for it, I just need like on strand. But i dont know how to do it and i dont want to screw my hair up. Any tips on how to do it nicely?

Get a friend to do it for you, or save up money and get them professionally done but have a friends parent drive you to like the mall to get them done or something.

Q: Hey how exactly does E-Bay work and Pay-Pal and stuff? I just want to know b/c I plan on selling a bunch of stuff.. Thanks I rate 5's

Have you ever listened to those ebays commerical? On Ebaaaaaaay. Sorry, I cant help ya, but I just wanted to mention that.

Q: I have this friend,lets just call her Sally.Well she likes this guy and we saw him at the cinema with his mates 2 weeks ago and we all started hangin around together.we asked the guy that she liked (lets call him john) to meet (french kiss) her but he said no coz he doesn't want to ruin their friendship and I thought what a load of bull ****.So the next day in school we kept hangin round together and john kept comin on to sally and we asked him to meet her agin and he said no.I didn't particularly like this guy in the 1st pace but now he's ok but when we 1st start hangin around with eachother again he started pretending he forgot my name and pronouncing it wrong but he must have been faking coz all he could say to me last year was"I know your name" So the last 5 nights he's been in my dreams as a friend but last night he was heaviy flirting and the nekt day when I went into school he was flirting with me for real!!! I don't want to be mean to Sally but she doesn't know that I like him but she says she loves it when her friends like the same people as her.Last year Sally had a crush on this other guy who liked our other friend Lisa.Lisa got asked to meet this guy but she didn't in the end but when she was going to Sally didn't even care .Another thing is the guy I like is about 6ft and I'm only 5ft2
What should I do
Please help.......

If you're friend doesnt seem to care, then I say tell her you like the guy. If she Likes when her friends have crushes on the same guys, it appears that she would like this. About the height thing it doesnt matter, guys are supposed to be taller than girls. But dont make a move on the guy until you tell Sally about it to see her reaction. Bc she might *not* appreaciate it. You'll only know by asking her. Anyway, good luck with you're problem. Remember~lifes to short to waste~Also~Boyfriends come and go but friends are forever~ Good luck!

Q: someone keeps stealing the sign off of our lawn that says vote for judge price! we keep getting new ones but they keep getting stolen... is there anything we can do to them if they get caught?

Yeah, you could probably get them for stealing, since technically they are stealing the signs. Maybe you might scare them off if you buy a "private property" sign and stick that on your lawn to, since that says "violaters will be prosecuted" (you'd probably have to do more than just buy the sign though to have one...I dunno I've never used one but I've seen tons) and then if they take it you can get them for trespassing too! Thats really rude of them though...they need to leave others property alone even if they dont agree with the judge. Pffh I hope you do catch them!

Q: k, well i have red hair. & im thinking about getting streaks in my hair. or something like that. what would you recommend? i rate high!

No leave it regular! Red hair rocks! Well, actually, it depends what color streaks. Some colors might look good others bad.

Q: hey im a freshman in highskool and ive just been asked out by a freshman and he like almost in all my classes! when he asked me out, i though i shouldnt b a heartless bi*ch so i just said yes. i mean hes cute but like a lil brother cute. i feel like an ass**le. i will not say no now n tomm. i go bak 2 skool wat will i say wats next i dunt like him! oH MY GODDD ive made a big mistake n i need help PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE help me! thnxx

Alright just...if you dont want to be mean or anything then stay with him for a week then just tell him its not working out.

But if you dont feel like waiting just do it tomorrow.

That sucks he's in all your classes. I wish you good luck, alright! So I hope you figure out what to do.

Q: really long story but i need all the help i can get!

well my X-friend, sarah, has a popular friend.

well they just became friends.

heres the story:

sarah and i made plans wedensday to do something thursday, she cancelled plans saying she was tiared and wanted to rest so i can come over tomorrow and she can by hyper.

so i said okay.. shure. tomorrows fine! but my sister is going up to look at colleges and so i need to know.. around 1045 or 11? and she said OKAY

and so we had plans and i was waiting for her to get online around 11 am because thats when shes always online.. so i said to myself "oaky she must be still sleeping"

"mom im not going to look at colleges with you and melissa, sarah can probally pick me up, worse comes to worse i wont get there." they said okay and left.

s0o i waited around untill 9oclock at NIGHT waiting for her to sign on, i called her moms house multipal times (said to call her dads house), her dads (no answer)and her cell phone millions of times. with no answer.

so then she finallu signed on about 10 o clock at night.. and
i said "WHERE WERE YOU!!!"

and she said "Katies house with tori, whats up?"

and i said "dude, we had PLANS today!"

she said: "no we didnt....."

i felt her tention of freaking out because she knows we did

she said: "it wasnt offical plans!"

i said: "well yes it was u said ill im u around 11 with the time you can get picked up!"

she said: " so that doesnt mean i can pick you up!"

i said: "well yes it does it even says it!"

(i was sending the real convo)

and then i got a IM from katie, she has never talked to me Before on AIM so i was trying to act like nothing is going between us, but wait. SARAHS AT KATIES HOUSE!

kaite: hey
me: whats upp
katie: why you messin wit my b1tch?
me: shes "messin" up "wit" my "l1fely" plans!
katie: so what she wants to hang out with popular people and not people like you, who are posers and infact fake their lives second by second.
me: my life is all true, but i got to go theres a emergency in my family, bye.
katie: yep, whats what i thought, there aint no emegency in yo family cept that im going to mess you up.
Me: you rnt going to lay a finger one me.
me: i have to go bye
katie: thats wht i thought.
Katie: your just scared

then Tori ims me

tori: whats going on with your family?
me: my grandma is about to die i have to go BYE!
Me signs off at 1136 PM.

then some reason i got a message saying "your screenname has been signed on in 2 locations and youve been kicked off" or something like that.

then my friend, mike left varies of messages and caling my cell phone. saying "your online but you rnt talking to me whats up"

me- im not online im at the hospital.
him-really what happened?
me - my g-ma is teribally sick and is about to die.
him- that sucks tell her to feel better, quickly.
me-thanks but it wont happen.
him- sarah imed me saying to calm you down
me- WHAT? im not even iming her
him- holy crap shes sending me the messages... its like I HATE YOU FOR CANCELING LIKE THAT!

and so on.. please help me and tell me if shes worth the friend i should get back (tori and sarah) and maybe a new fiend katie. but i dont know help!

Your friend sounds like a total bitch. Omgod I cant believe that thats just crazy...she is so immature. You deserve so much better in a friend. I wouldnt even try to repair the friendship. Dude if she tries to even talk to you just blow her off. That is SO RUDE! Omgosh...omgosh! Thats just...I'm flippin bc that is so rude.

Q: help i just got my dog some shoes from pet's mart, and they're sooooo cute! and we just got them today, but she walks really funny and weird in them... like she lifts up her feet too high and walks slow, and doesn't really want to move... do you think she just needs to get used to them... and do you think that once she gets used to them she'll start walking normally? if you think she will, how long do you think it'll take? we only put it on her feet when she goes outside, and she goes outside like after every few hours or something.

please help i rate high!!!

P.S. also, if you have a dog that actually has shoes too, then tell me how your dog was walking at first, and if it ever got used to it, and all that stuff!!! please give me some details so i'll know exactly!!!!

Yes I'm sure she'll get used to them but right now they are probably bugging the heck out of her so...its like when you tried to walk in heels for the first time, you wobbled right? Because you had to get used to them at first. Well, same with your dog!

bio

Hi, I'm Jen. I'm a 15 yr. old sophmore at my highschool. I'm just an all-around-average girl (okay, I'm not THAT average) I enjoy giving advice and asking it lol. I play the trombone in my school band and jazz lab, I sing in the chorus and in my church choir, I have a few friends but not a crapload...and I'm always there for my friends with advice! Sometimes its not always what they want to hear, but I always mean the best. So, ask me a question and I'd be glad to answer!
JEN!!