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Limiting the Advice We Can Give?
This is the first question I've asked on here. I've answered a few questions, but this is the first I've asked. Here it is: It seems to me like people wanting advice should accept what's offered and "take it or leave it." I've read so many questions that end with, "and don't tell me to ______ because of _______." Not a problem. If people don't want certain types of advice (i.e. silly, stupid, sarcastic, etc.) then that would be fine. But what it seems to be most of the time is a legitimate answer. If someone is having a problem with something, doesn't it make sense to explore all options? It seems to me that some people (not the majority by any means) have something they want to hear and won't accept anything but that. Am I alone in this thought?
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No, your not alone. I feel the same way. I dislike when people ask for my advice and they pretty much eliminate it down to what they want to hear, and if they already know what they want to hear then why are they even bothering to ask people on this site for advice when its clear that their arent accepting any ideas, and they have their mind made up. So yes I totally and completely agree with you, but eh o well, I do the best I can in answering them anyways, and whether they like it or not, its my opinion. whether they want to hear it, haha.
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i completely agree!!!
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Well, you're right. 100%
You see, I read your question and then read a few others before/after it, and 63% of the questions I read said "Don't tell me to ____ because ____. " Exploring all the possible answers seems to make the most sense to me. I have read quite a few (i.e. - hundreds) of questions that say "My boyfriend has cheated on me before, and all my friends say he is again, what do I do? Don't tell me to break up with him because I don't want to." Or something like that. It just makes sense to break up with a boy who is a chronic cheater, broken your trust, and is cheating again. But they don't want to break up with him, so don't tell them to. Basically here in the Advice business, if you want a good rating, tell the people what they want to hear. Of course, sometimes the TRUTH is not what they WANT to hear. You tell them the truth, "Dump him like a pile of rubbish" and you get a 1. Okay, so I wouldn't be that harsh, but breaking up would be the best choice.
Taking it or leaving it is what I do. I don't really ask alot of questions, sometimes I use questions to communicate with other columnists with whom I have no outside contact; but I rarely ask 'real' questions. Saying "No stupid answers please" is acceptable in my view, because ... who wants stupid answers? But saying (in not so many words) "Don't tell me to do what makes the most sense and would make me happier or more at ease because I don't want to." << Does that make any sense to you? It doesn't to me. It's ignorance. See, I am a big fan of Christian evangelist Kent Hovind. [He rocks! :-)] Anyway, he says this about ignorance : "Ignorance really means 'Dumb on purpose' - am I right?" I find that slightly humorous, but really true. Anyone can see that if your boyfriend is cheating on you the logical thing to do would to be breaking up with him, but their ignorance says "No, I like him [or his body?] and would rather be cheated on than break up with him." Or they're too scared... whatever it is, it's pretty dumb in my eyes.
In my youth group, I am generally not accepted. I tell it like it is, and I'm also actually interested in God. Amazing isn't it? Someone who actually WANTS to learn about God in a Christian church. Wow. Blows your mind, does it not? Being not accepted has helped me grow up and swallow my pride when I need help. If I have a problem, I don't hesitate to ask for help because I'd rather ask for help and fix the problem than look dumb because the problem grows larger and larger. Oh, if only everyone could learn this lesson. I wouldn't wish my situation on anyone else though, because it is trying and difficult at times. Sometimes people need to learn to accept what is given to them. After all, they asked!
-FunnyCide
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Well, some times. I have noticed a few of them actually having some validity. Like asking what color to paint their room and then saying "And it cannot be Red because my mom won't allow it."
Yet some are definately not. I have been helping this girl for 5 straight months as a personal mentor, and her biggest issue is that she cannot open up. Such as saying that she cannot stop cutting because of her past. Those things are not good.
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I'm definitely with you! A lot of people that received the advice give low ratings only because it's not what they wanted to hear, but it was good advice!
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I agree with you 100% on this one. You're totally right. Some people are mindless when it comes to questions they asked the pool. You have questions about people being on their period and what should they do, but they don't like wearing tampon's. Well, why even ask the question? The only other option is to use a pad. Then there's people that ask questions about their boyfriends, how they cheated and what not. Then what should I do, I love him and I'm not breaking up with him. I mean? You just answered your own question. Why take the time to write out something that you already know the answer to? There's also the ones where they get mad when you tell them the truth about something, then they leave feedback and bitch at you. If you can't face the truth, that is their problem. You're only trying to help them, they don't have to get all mad about the truth.
♥ Krissy
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agreed.
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im with ya.
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I say rock on to that. I completely agree. It really does aggrivate the hell out of me when people say that. For example: A girl asked a question about getting her period and going swimming. At the end of the question she put "But don't tell me to use a tampon because that's not happening"... She gave people BAD ratings because they told her there was no other way she could possibly go into the pool without using a tampon because she would bleed and it would be in the water.... So much for giving her advice.
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