"People, even more than things, have to be restored, renewed, revived, reclaimed, and redeemed; never throw out anyone." - Audrey Hepburn
I came to this site for advice about a man and love. That very question turned my entire world around and I have had my eyes opened to things I never noticed before.
I've stayed here so that I can share the knowledge I do have. I know I'm not changing the world but I do hope that I spark others to open their eyes.
"The only thing to do with good advice is pass it on. It is never any use to oneself." - Oscar Wilde
So, if you learn something from what I say then repeat it to someone else who can use it.
I hope that if you see an answer of mine that you enjoy it will inspire you to go out of your way to give good, solid information. Provide links for further information, detail your responses, encourage people to seek out professionals when it's needed, and stop sugar-coating responses and just say the truth.
I hope that even if you absolutely hate my answer that it'll kick start your brain. Hopefully you'll begin taking your time to respond instead of hurried answers that are useless to an already confused person.
"In three words I can sum up everything I've learned about life: it goes on." - Robert Frost
Gender: Female
Location: WV / KY / ND
Occupation: Technical Account Management
Age: 24
Member Since: October 12, 2007
Answers: 1511
Last Update: August 15, 2011
Visitors: 144133
Favorite Columnists
karenR
DangerNerd
russianspy1234
GilbertMar
ThirdQED
mikesadvice
Eldritch
my2cents
|
| |
|
I've been with my boyfriend for five years. Last year we broke up but then got back together 5 months later. We've almost been back together for a year. We broke up becos I felt unappreciated, there was no romance, and it got so boring that I was going crazy. It's actually worse since we've gotten back together. There's never any thank yous or appreciation shown when I do things for him. He helps me out financially so I feel indebted to him. I'm afraid of making the wrong decision if I leave. Where do you draw the line? (link)
|
Well, if you're not going to have an adult discussion to express your true feelings towards the lack of "spark" in this relationship then you need to get out now. Sitting down and talking things out is a rational way to handle this situation. He can't read minds and you can't convey your message to him about being under appreciated if you never tell him there is a problem or how to fix it for optimal happiness.
This is a part of any long-term relationship. It's referred to as the comfort factor. He's become comfortable with you. You're basically a part of himself. Does he thank himself for going grocery shopping? Nope, but it doesn't mean he doesn't like or appreciate it. He just kind-of forgets that it's important to say, "Hey...thanks for that...really."
You're doing him a favor by leaving if you haven't sat down and talked with him yet and are debating on just up and leaving. Adults sit down and say, "I am not happy. I wish you would do x, y, and z. THAT would make me happy. Can we please work something out here so I feel better? I love you but I'm becoming very unhappy with this current situation. I NEED x, y, and z to happen or this cannot last any longer." Adults don't just get up and walk out one day because they never chose to express their deepest desires to their partner.
You can either be an adult and try to salvage the relationship by talking with him like an adult.
Or
You can leave and spare him the heartache when you finally blow up and freak out on him from bottling all of this stuff up inside of you. Bottling stuff up doesn't get you anywhere.
The choice is yours.
Save it or don't. It can only go two ways from here. It's completely your decision. If you want to make it work then you have to talk to him. Sometimes it takes more than one talking to to get your point across and your thoughts clearly expressed.
As a late note: If you never express your dislike about something then how will he ever know? How will he ever stand a chance at pleasing you? You can't really just say, "I feel like you don't appreciate me!" because it doesn't REALLY get your message across. What doesn't he appreciate, specifically? What can he do to make it better? He can't read minds. He doesn't think exactly like you. You have to clear, specific, and willing to have a little "give" in YOUR wants. Think about it.
|
What is the FULL name of the guy at 2:06? And more pictures, if possible?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LkjljBNTLs4 (link)
|
Believe it or not, the big deal with Yolanda Be Cool is anonymity. The photos released by these performers are usually of them covering their faces. It's their draw. It's part of the charm.
Now, I looked online for some time and I am figuring that their real names are Sylvester Martinez and Johnson Peterson.
It's quite hilarious because when you Google, "Sylvester Martinez and Johnson Peterson," you wind up looking at photos of them covering their faces.
In this particular video, We No Speak Americano (wrongly known also as "Papa Americano"), they are featured with DCUP, or Duncan Maclennan.
The guy you are specifically talking about is either Sylvester Martinez and Johnson Peterson, I believe. It's kind of difficult to figure out which one it might be though, seeing as all of their photo-shoots involve them covering their faces with their hands or vinyl records.
In other words: your guess is as good as mine! ;)
|
|
How many times a day must you poo (link)
|
You should be having one full bowel movement at least once a day for optimal health. If you are not then you should look at your lifestyle and try to make appropriate changes in regards to weight, exercise, water intake, and eating habits (incorporate more fibrous fruits and vegetables).
If you have more bowel movements a day than one then it is nothing serious or problematic. A healthy human will use the toilet at least once a day, but up to 5 can be quite normal and healthy. If you are experiencing painful bowel movements then you should talk with your health care provider.
|
|
ok so, my entire vagina has been super sore and like stinging. inside and out. i've never had sex before so im pretty sure it's not an STD. it started about 2 days after my period and im still on my period right now. it almost feels like it might be swollen. and im also having MAXIMUM discharge. it's about 10x more than I normally have on a daily basis. It's really disgusting. Basically what I want to know is what this is, why it's happening, and how I can prevent it or stop it. (link)
|
This very well could be a yeast infection and you can very well get treatment over the counter at any pharmacy BUT the same symptoms of a yeast infection are those of a bacterial infection.
A yeast infection won't hurt you. It's just uncomfortable.
A bacterial infection can leave you with a life-long painful disease (Pelvic Inflammatory Disease) and/or infertile.
There are NO over-the-counter treatments available for bacterial infections.
You can get either of these from nearly anything--from washing too much down there to wearing thongs or tight jeans.
Talk with your mother immediately and have her schedule you an appointment with your doctor. You need this checked out as soon as possible so that you can get the right treatment quickly. The longer you wait with a bacterial infection, the higher risk you are that it will become a lot more serious. The longer you wait for a yeast infection, the more irritated you're probably going to be.
Tell your mother and express your deep concerns over it. Ask her kindly to make a doctor's appointment for you. The doctor may or may not examine the area based on what you describe to him/her. If they do, they will probably just take a very small swab of the vagina and run it through for testing to make sure the symptoms are this or that so they can prescribe you the right treatment.
When your body is uncomfortable, swollen, or painful then it's trying to tell you that something is NOT right. It's screaming this message at you--now it's time for you to take action and try to get this solved quickly.
See your doctor.
Nothing you do at home will fix it like you're hoping. A yeast infection that is not treated properly will just keep coming back over and over. I won't go into detail about the long-term negative effects a bacterial infection will have on your body is not treated.
|
|
sooo.....in the back of my vagina maybe 4 inches is this sort of end thing. i asked my friend whose sexually active if this was my hymen and she told me it's my vaginal wall. i am a virigin and when i push on this it kind of hurts. is this my vaginal wall or my hymen? i want to know!! (link)
|
Your hymen is actually at the entrance to your vagina. Not "inside" of the vagina.
What you are feeling is likely your cervix.
Your cervix moves in positions during various things. Sometimes allows the vagina to elongate to accommodate a penis comfortable. Sometimes it's lower in the canal.
The cervix is right at the entrance to your uterus. The cervix helps to protect foreign things from making it into the womb. There is a small hole in it that allows menstrual fluid in and after intercourse the cervix will push itself into the seminal fluid (cum) to help the sperm get into the womb to fertilize an egg.
The cervix is usually a pretty tend, sensitive thing for most women. This is why a lot of women feel uncomfortable during their annual pap smear--because the doctor is taking cells from the cervix to test for things like cancer.
When you have sex your partner will probably not touch your cervix. It will slide back upward so that the vaginal canal elongates. Some men who are much larger (long) than average may hit the cervix during intercourse but it isn't too common of a problem with most men and women. Even if the penis hit on the cervix it wouldn't cause much of a problem at all. The cervix would just push back a little. The hole in it wouldn't allow even a very small penis to penetrate it so it isn't like it would be dangerous. Maybe a little uncomfortable.
You're perfectly normal and should not be concerned over this fleshy bit inside of you. Every normal, healthy woman has one.
|
I'm 20/f, dating a 20/m.
My boyfriend is 6'2" tall, and he's about 210 pounds, which I think is pretty normal. I've never thought he was chubby or even "teddy bear" sized, just that he wasn't exactly thin or scrawny. I know he was a lot heavier when he was younger, but by the time I met him he'd worked a lot of the weight off, so his weight looks to be about average.
Suddenly, in the past two months, he's started talking about how much he HATES the way he looks, how he "better get used to not liking who he is", and how he's upset because "he'll never get to where he wants to be", physically speaking. He joined a gym (I joined with him, because I want to start eating better and excercising), but he's constantly talking about calories and pounds lost ALL THE TIME.
In the one month that we've been going to the gym, he's stopped eating all junk food and candy, and has stopped drinking EVERYTHING except water and skim milk. He's lost almost 20 pounds in the last month, and he's still saying he hates how he looks.
I tell him I love his body and that I'm really attracted to him physically (it's true), but he brushes me off. He calls himself chubby and fat and he gets so upset that he won't even talk to me about it. It's like he refuses to believe me.
Tonight he said he wasn't leaving the gym until he burned 1000 calories, and he keeps saying things like "i'm just going through things" and "I didn't know this would be so hard". I'm REALLY scared.
What can I do? I'm crying just because I'm so scared and worried about his health, safety, and happiness. PLEASE HELP my boyfriend :( (link)
|
I usually don't answer questions like these but I've seen the end result of this if it is, indeed, a problem.
Guys can have eating disorders, too.
Guys have have self-image distortions.
Guys can have major mental problems that are, for some reason, only publicly talked about in regards to females. Because of this, it can be quite embarrassing for a guy to seek help or treatment for his body image.
I knew this guy in high school. He was overweight but he wasn't HUGE. He didn't fit in with the jocks and muscular-type guys at school but he was liked. It hurt his feelings to be joked about in the locker room while they were changing after football practice. The boys didn't mean any harm. They were just playing around with him. It still changed him.
He started doing the same thing you're describing. He began to obsess over calories and working out. Before we knew it, he had restricted his food intake pretty severely. He dropped a good 100lbs before the end of school. He was sickly looking. How he starved himself away like that...man...
But...he was a guy. What do you say? Gee, I think you might have an eating disorder here, dude. No, you say, "You've lost a lost of weight. Good job." Nobody did anything about it--but how many times do you suspect a guy has an eating disorder or problems with what he sees in the mirror? Then he started passing out. The passing out and blackouts got to be pretty bad and they wouldn't allow him to play sports any more because of it. Nobody knew he had done such bad things to his body though.
When he passed out standing up from his bed in front of his brother they took him to the ER. He confessed he hadn't eaten in days so that he could lose weight.
This problem is like any other self-image problem. This is like any other eating disorder. Nothing you say is going to fix this. He needs more help than you can offer. He needs to see a therapist on a regular basis to talk about his body image and what has caused these mental problems lately.
Eating disorders can be spurred by many things. Sometimes it's things you don't even think about as causing a problem with self-image. It could be a lot of stress at school or at home. It could be the death of a loved one (even a beloved pet). It could be new experiences and feeling overwhelmed. It could be comments from other people. It could be past memories brought up recently through anything (innocent conversation or a dream, perhaps). It could be so many things that he might not even be aware of it either.
Try to talk with your partner about this first. Express your concerns. Tell him you feel what he is doing might be unhealthy. Tell him EXACTLY what you think is unhealthy about it.
You should talk with his parents about this problem and express your concerns for his health and overall well-being. Encourage them to encourage him to seek professional guidance and help if it's a problem.
For a last note, only drinking water in regards to fluids is a pretty darn great thing. The major thing that signaled me off to "eating disorder" is the fact that he has a specific goal to burn a very high number of calories at one particular time. It is realistic to say, "I am going to work out for 1 hour," but it is NOT realistic to say, "I am going to work out until I burn 1,000 calories." It can be pretty hard to measure "burning 1,000 calories" so it's very easy to go overboard and get carried away. Dieting (eating healthy) and exercise can be great things to improve your health but when you go overboard like he is then it begins to teeter into the danger territory. It is possible that he wasn't really serious or didn't realize what he was saying when he said that though. It could also be that he thinks 1,000 is burned in 1,000 seconds or something. You have to talk to him first.
Talk to him first and see if you can figure out if this is really an issue or not. Maybe he is just trying to lead a healthy lifestyle. Cutting out sweets and sodas isn't bad at all. Going to the gym is great. He needs to stay balanced though. Get plenty of fruits, vegetables, water, and exercise.
In the end, if it's bad, then talk with his parents. Talk with your parents. Encourage everyone that he needs to get help. Express your concerns and pray that he goes into therapy to get these things off of his shoulders. Without the help of outsiders in this situation you are probably going to "fail" at getting him well. This is a problem beyond you. Please, help him get help today by reaching out for him.
|
so pretty much every day for the past two years or so i inhale nailpolish remover...
i press the opening of the bottle to one nostrle and hold the other nostrel shut and inhale threw my nose until it burns.. i dont know why but i love it... even when im at my friends house ill look for a bottle in their bathroom and sniff it up for a good ten minutes.. is this a problem??? (link)
|
This leads to a lot of brain damage, actually. It is quite addictive though and you should seek help immediately.
Speak with your parents first. Tell them that you've been doing this for a while and have come to realize that it is a problem. This is likely to interfere with your life if you haven't realized it yet. You know, ten minutes of standing there, huffing fumes from a toxic chemical is quite dangerous and not productive in any way.
It happens though. There are millions of people right now struggling with this sort of addiction. People sweep this sort of thing under the rug and pretend it doesn't exist until they wind up in the hospital.
Don't be surprised if you begin to black out, become extremely forgetful, or experience chronic nosebleeds. Huffers have these problems--though, moreso towards death. Yes, huffing this can (and will) kill you slowly. It isn't a quick death. It isn't an easy death. It's probably one of the longest, drawn-out, painful deaths a person can have.
Yes, it's a problem.
Yes, you need to get help.
Yes, it is damaging you.
Yes, it has become an addiction.
Speak with your health care provider after you talk with your parents. Many times physicians will find that a huffer, especially with females, are iron deficient or lack vital nutrients (certain vitamins or minerals). A small blood sample should help them identify if your huffing is encouraged by something your body is craving from an outside source.
Steps:
Have a serious talk with your parents.
Have a serious talk with your doctor.
Find out what you need to do to get help and treatment. Some people find that going to an outside facility for 90 days to detox helps them to get a jump start on recovery. For some people it's as simple as going to something like a huffers anonymous group. Others will find help in a one-on-one therapy setting.
And, last but not least, the brain cells that you have already killed off will never be restored. I've read this on many addiction forums and guides and it seems that many of them have a problem with this. The brain cells that you've killed are dead. You won't magically grow new ones. What is gone is gone and you will have to try to cope with what you do have left. This can cause some memory problems in the future or lead to failure in educational settings because of the diminished neural pathways. My suggestion is to stop this immediately and get help in all the ways you can. The sooner you stop, the longer you're going to lead a happy, healthy life.
|
|
I'm father to two grown young men each on his own and making it go in life, but they never learned to hunt or fish from me, they did not learn carpentry skills or motor skills from me because I don't know how to do those things. It eats at me, the guilt. What better lives they could have had had I been a real man instead of a loser. (link)
|
Hunting, fishing, auto-mechanical skills, and carpentry do not make a man a man. A man can be manly without ever laying hands on a gun, knife, or bow. A man can be a man without having ever driven a car, let alone rebuilt an engine. A man can be a man without hammering one nail in his entire lifetime.
A man is strong but not necessarily physically.
A man takes pride in his work--even if it's as a custodian.
A man knows right from wrong. He knows when he should push forward and when it's best to leave it alone and move on.
A man is courageous when he needs to be. He may not go out and try to tame lions but sometimes courage comes in small situations dealing with every day tasks.
A man knows respect. He's earned it and knows when to give others that courtesy.
A man cares about others. He cries. He needs hugs sometimes. He holds hands with his lady. He knows he isn't a "wuss" or "pussy" for being human. He's comfortable in his own skin.
Your boys aren't missing out on anything. If you've taught them right then you've raised them well. There is nothing to feel ashamed about. There is nothing to feel guilt for in this.
Move on. Move forward. If what you really want to do is learn these things then do them. You can get low-cost training for hunting at many locations. You can learn how to fish on your own after reading about it online. You can hire a guide for these things.
Then, if you feel it's absolutely necessary, you can still pass these skills on to your sons. Just because they're older doesn't mean they cannot learn from you any more. When they visit you can take them out for a fishing trip. You can invite them over to help you build a shed in the backyard.
Or, you can realize that not knowing those things doesn't mean you're any less of a man. You're still important. You're still a man--just as manly as the next man even. There is nothing lacking within you because you don't know some of those things. There is absolutely nothing wrong with having a different life and different experiences from others.
I cannot say if you did well as a father. I wasn't there. I didn't see you help them with their first steps or get excited when they mumbled out "Dada" their first few times. I don't know if you helped them on their first day of school or if you encouraged them to play football when they really wanted to but were scared of a new experience. I have no idea if you met their first girlfriends or if you listened to their wants as young teenagers for new cars or fancy shoes.
A good father doesn't need to know how to hunt or fish. A good father doesn't need to know how to rebuild a house or how to fix the car. Those are not the things that make a person a person. Those do not make you manly. Those do not make you a good person or a father.
You're not a loser. You're just not.
Move on with your life. If you're really interested in those things then start checking out some books from the library and researching them on the internet. If those things don't really intrigue you then that is perfectly fine. You're still a man.
|
|
My boyfriend wants to have sex with me and I want to also, but i am very afraid of getting pregnant. I told hom maybe with a condom. Do you think a condom is enough? Also, why does he think that it wont feel as good if he wears a condom? This is urgent. Can yu also please answer both questions. And one more thing, how can i get birth control without my parents knowing? (link)
|
Condoms, alone, are only about 86% effective on preventing pregnancy. In addition, recent studies show that they are not effective on preventing the transmission of various diseases like herpes, HPV, and AIDS. That's about a good 14% chance that the condom will fail and you will be at high risk of pregnancy. Of course, the percentage can vary and be much, much lower if the condom is not used, applied, or stored properly.
For note, the above percentage is taking from FDA records. That isn't me just pulling numbers out of my ass. That isn't me reading packages at the store and believing every word of "perfect usage" they claim on the boxes. That isn't me taking numbers from what I learned in health class. That number is from a federal source.
Condoms create a thin, rubbery layer between the penis and the inner walls of the vagina. The friction is still there, of course, but can be slightly diminished for the male partner. This is why they have created things like ultra-thin condoms.
Do I, personally, think a condom is enough to protect you?
No.
You should always use two methods every time you have sex. Hormonal birth control pills are a great second method and won't interfere with the condom usage. There are also things like spermicidal lubrication that still decrease the chances of accidental pregnancy. You should talk with your health care provider if you're interested in more alternatives since many times they can give you free trials of various products.
You may be able to get on birth control pills without your parents knowing it but you will have to pay for them at the pharmacy. If you don't have a job or any sort of decent income then that idea is probably out. It's better to talk with your parents about it now though because if an accident does happen you will have support.
For note, no method is 100% effective on preventing pregnancy. I've, personally, known women who used spermicidal foam, a regular condom, and birth control pills and still somehow wound up pregnant. Reproduction is what we do. It's nature. It happens. Sex means reproducing. It's hard to get two bodies to do something like this without causing a natural reaction.
For a last note, if you're not ready for babies then maybe you should rethink this all. Babies are a huge responsibility. There will always be a risk of making babies when you have sex. Always.
If your partner is not willing to use all protective methods to ensure you will not get pregnant then is he really someone you want to spend the rest of your life with? Dating is just that. Finding someone who you will want to spend your life with. If you cannot fathom being with a man who refuses to wear condoms because they "might" make sex less pleasurable, despite the lowered risk of an unwanted pregnancy, then you should really re-evaluate your entire relationship. Many people go down the wrong road and wind up as young, single parents because they made the wrong decisions about a partner. Think this through.
|
|
I have diarrhea and i don't know what should i eat except for mashed potatoes and rice and bananas. thank you for helping (link)
|
Eat plenty of leafy greens and vegetables.
Also remember to drink lots and lots of pure, clean water (nothing added to it other than maybe ice if you like it chilled).
Most vegetables are high in fiber. Some fruits are, too, especially their peeling.
The fiber actually helps to solidify the fecal matter enough to restore your stool to normal. Believe it or not, if you have some sort of fiber supplement in your house (like Benefiber or ColonPure) it will actually help to stop diarrhea, too. Only take that stuff as directed though.
Fiber helps to pass your stools easily by softening them, but it also helps to solidify watery stools, too, so keep that in mind. It sort-of congeals in the intestines into a soft state. The foods that are more "natural" like fruits and vegetables will be better for your body and overall health. Think about that when you are finding foods.
You may also get benefit from something like shredded wheat (like the cereal), bran flakes, or cheerios since they are high in fiber as well.
|
|
I have low risk HPV, I'm calling my doctor today to figure out which strand. I've had it for over a year but if my boyfriend eats me out then kisses me, could I transfer anything to my mouth? I don't think I have the type to cause warts but I do already have a small bump on the roof of my mouth. Any ideas? (link)
|
There are over 100 strains of HPV and there are absolutely no tests to find out if you've already given it to your partner.
With that said, if you engage in any sort of sex where your HPV infected genitals touch his body he may contract the exact same strain of HPV.
There is no cure for HPV.
There is no test for men to see if they have contracted any strain of HPV.
There is no magical shot that will protect you from all of the HPV strains.
If your boyfriend goes down on you he can very well contract the HPV into his mouth and down to his vocal cords. When he kisses you, his mother, his siblings, or his future girlfriend(s) then he will spread it along to many people.
The warts might be what you're worried about most but many strains of HPV cause cancer.
Which is worse: Warts in your mouth or cancerous lesions down your esophagus?
Then you should question your thought process on this: Do you REALLY want to infect your partner with this lifelong illness that he won't be able to treat, cure, or keep to himself?
For an added bonus, your boyfriend could actually sue you if you transmitted a strain of HPV to him that he did not have previously and that you knew about before engaging in sexual activity with him. It's true. A lot of people actually take their former lovers to court over these sorts of bodily damages because they were not told upfront that their now-ex partner had X, Y, or Z illness that was contagious.
That being said, if you have not already you should tell your partner about your HPV problem.
Using a dental dam and condoms can help lower the risks of spreading the HPV but condoms just aren't 100% effective on preventing this sort of thing from spreading. People with HIV/AIDS can even spread it to their partners when using condoms and other protective measures so you have to question your own health as well as your partners. If you don't want to infect him and feel strongly that you have not at this point then you need to figure out 1. how to tell him and 2. if you want to remain with him (because that will eventually mean passing the HPV along).
|
18F.
So saturday night ..well basically sunday morning at like 4 in the morning I lost my virginity. I've been on birth control for probably 3 years to regulate my period and whatnot..set my alarm every night at 9pm to take it and I do every night. Things were getting hot and heavy and he asked if I wanted to do it. I was ready, so I said yes but asked if he had a condom and he did. It was completely dark, which worries me a bit if he put it on right. The condom stayed on the whole time, I just don't know if it broke or anything. He didn't say it did ..but I don't know if he would tell me it did because he wouldn't want to scare me. After we were done we talked for a bit and I was like you better not get me pregnant or i'll kill you, being serious but in a flirty manor. He said don't worry you're not i promise.
Now I think i'm just freaking myself out. I have this nervous feeling in my stomach and I know I'm doing it to myself because I keep thinking about it and I'm suppose to get my period next thursday and I'm trying to stay calm so I don't get so stressed my period will come late which will freak me out more.
What do you think the chances are I could be pregnant if for some odd reason the condom did break? Or what are the chances at all if i've been on birth control and we used a condom. (link)
|
Short and sweet:
Hormonal birth control pills are about 93% effective on preventing pregnancy when used properly. It sounds, to me, like you use it properly.
Condoms are about 86% effective on preventing pregnancy when used properly. (For the record: According to the US Food and Drug Administration, the usual latex condom is 86 percent effective in keeping a woman from getting pregnant. Uh, which clearly means that it is only about 86% worth of protection.) In all likelihood, it was used relatively right since it did stay on the entire time and he did not mention it breaking or leaking that he was aware of.
No method, none--not even doubled up or using many methods of birth control, is 100% effective on preventing pregnancies. We were made to reproduce. It happens no matter what you do sometimes.
The likelihood of you being pregnant is relatively low though. I wouldn't worry about it at all unless your period is actually late. Then, you should wait 1 entire week and then take a over-the-counter pregnancy test for an accurate read.
For note, nothing you do will protect you from STDs. Condoms are not full effective against disease transmission.
It is probably too early to be showing signs of implantation. Implantation usually takes about 7 days to happen within the womb. Then you hCG (aka pregnancy hormone) levels would go up and you would start noticing signs of nausea, irritability, breast tenderness, etc. Oddly, a lot of those symptoms are that of pre-menstrual syndrome, too, so you have to just wait it out sometimes to see what happens in a few days.
Chances? Low.
I wouldn't say something like "99%" or anything though.
It's definitely not impossible to be pregnant.
But your odds are pretty good that you're not pregnant.
|
18/female.
I've never tried marijuana, i've obviously heard a lot about it from health class and that, but I'm very curious about it. pretty much everyone i know takes a hit once in a while, some more than others, but i'm never around when they do.
I guess i'm just wondering if it's really worth a try. I told myself I would never try it; that i want to be able to grow old and tell my grandkids that hey, it really is possible to be straightedge your whole life, and you CAN say no.
My sister says I would really like the feeling because I'm pretty chill to begin with.
Any opinions? (link)
|
In my opinion, no drug is ever "worth a try." Not even "just once."
There are some people with very addictive personalities. Most of these people don't even realize they have this problem. These are the people who take one hit today and then start craving it by next week. My cousin was very much like this. He took a hit with a friend once and the next thing you know he's thrown his entire life away, doomed to spend eternity bouncing from friend's house to friend's house without so much as a steady job.
It's just not worth it. Really.
I'd rather get loaded on cake and ice cream ;)
I'd rather get that buzz from a good exercise routine.
I'd rather go out dancing and flirting--and remember it all the next day!
I'd rather live my life free and clean. That's just me though.
Is it worth it?
No.
Love yourself without the drugs. The drugs aren't going to make something special happen. You're not missing out on anything--and whoever tells you otherwise needs to seriously take a good look at themselves and where they plan to "go" in life. No drug makes life better. No drug makes you feel special, builds your self-confidence, lands you that dream-job, or sends you hurling into a future full of fortune.
To me, there's no sense in just trying it. It's worthless and a huge waste of time.
And, I don't want to lecture here, but it also recently has been found to change or alter the DNA structure within a female's ovum (eggs). Wouldn't it be awful to give birth to a retarded baby because you wanted to "party it up" a time or two when you were younger?
In regards to the user above who clearly has not read more about marijuana and the possible side-effects on the human DNA, you can find more about pot, weed, or whatever you want to call it straight from a quick Google search in regards to lifelong effects.
http://www.livescience.com/health/090613-marijuana-dna-cancer.html
For note, it also DOES mess with your brain:
"Earlier this year, a separate study found evidence that adolescents and young adults who smoked a lot of marijuana are more likely than non-users to have disrupted brain development. Research in 2007 found pot smokers have on average a 41 percent increased risk of developing psychotic disorders later in life."
and a previous question I answered with links to other information: http://www.advicenators.com/qview.php?q=573649
Scroll slightly to read a small article about it damaging cell receptors within the brain:
http://www.researchsea.com/html/article.php/aid/4485/cid/3?PHPSESSID=ioc5tper2o1d7qoqh9igbh5ok7
Causes miscarriages:
http://www.newscientist.com/article/dn9653-marijuana-may-cause-pregnancies-to-fail.html
"Marijuana smoke caused significantly more damage to cells and DNA than tobacco smoke, the researchers note." From here:
http://www.physorg.com/news168690870.html
"Smoking weed has been shown to adversely affect sperm morphology and function, and can disrupt hormonal balances as evidenced by the development of gynecomastia (male breasts) in some smokers." taken from:
http://getbetterhealth.com/of-mice-and-men-tips-to-improve-male-fertility/2010.01.26
How pot can increase pain:
http://www.biologynews.net/archives/2009/08/13/active_ingredients_in_marijuana_found_to_spread_and_prolong_pain.html
This particular link has a ton of information like "...long-term use of cannabis (the plant from which marijuana and hashish come) deformed a significantly high proportion of the cells. Impaired white blood cells are unable to function properly and protect the individual from infections.":
http://www.conscioushealing.com.au/index.php?option=com_content&task=view&id=54&Itemid=43
And, as a last note, just because it may be legal (in regards to cigarettes or alcohol) doesn't mean it's healthy or safe.
|
|
Allergies towards sperm is possible. I need someone who actually knows this....If someone is allergic to sperm, do they have a better chance of having a miscarriage? if someone is allergic to sperm, does that mean their body will react badly to fertilization ? please help (link)
|
Well, it's highly unlikely you would even be able to get pregnant by the specific man's sperm without certain allergy shots and what-not to help your body to not react to the proteins so negatively.
You should also note that just because a woman is allergic to one man's sperm doesn't mean she's allergic to ALL men's sperm. She may be allergic to 1 out of 1,000 men's protein from the sperm, just that particular man's sperm, or 80% of all men's sperm. It really varies by woman.
Now, you need to know that the allergy is from the protein within the semen. This means that if, some how, the egg was indeed fertilized the woman would NOT be allergic that embryo/baby. That being said, it should not increase the risks of miscarriage once actually pregnant.
Many women who are allergic to their partner's semen must absolutely use condoms during intercourse. If they are insistant on becoming pregnant by their partner they can take a series of allergy shots to help reduce the allergic reactions. If that doesn't work then they will usually go through in vitro fertilization where an already fertilized egg is placed within the uterus (womb).
The allergy reaction is usually pretty severe and includes itching, burning, and major swelling within the vagina. The body will attack the sperm in a defensive manner, leading to a highly reduced chance of natural pregnancy. The allergic reaction is pretty painful and that's why condoms absolutely must be used during intercourse so that the woman doesn't swell up shut and be in pain. I mean, imagine your vaginal walls drying up and swelling closed, rubbing against the other walls within while you're just sitting, standing, or walking. Excruciatingly painful, to say the least.
So, no, the body is likely to be accepting of an embryo or fertilized egg. It would be difficult to get pregnant without medical assistance in some way though. It would also probably be unwise to engage in sexual intercourse while pregnant--the last thing you'd want would be for your female parts to swell up and become severely irritated because you forgot condoms. THAT might increase the odds of having a miscarriage then.
|
|
I'm trying to find a back to school hair style and I was thinking of a body wave because it takes f o r e v e r for me to do my hair in the morning and i also need time to eat breakfast shower and do my make up, put on uniform etc. i wanted one until i was scared because my hair is medium thick. if i got one, they said that they are verryyy hard to get out if you don't like it. so now, i don't know what to do /: can anyone help me? what should i do? it was between that and dying my hair darker, becaus ethen it's easier to straighten and scrunch. what do you think???? easy five pointers (link)
|
For what it's worth, you can easily rinse out the new-do immediately after it's done if you hate it. If you proceed directly to the bathroom after getting it and wash your hair out really well a few times then it usually doesn't hold enough to stand up to it. You'd have to wash it out immediately after it's done though so you'd need to decide if it's "for you" or not right away.
I'd definitely get the wave done in the hair, but I'd talk with a professional hairdresser first. They will give you a great idea for your hair and may even just be able to cut it into a cute style where you don't have to do much to it in the morning. Talk with them before you do anything drastic. If they agree about the body wave then ask them if they can wash your hair out for you immediately after if you hate it. They can give you an idea of how much "wave" might stay in the hair after immediate wash.
They also, for note, have lots of nice catalogs you can go through to find an easy style that suits your face. Talk to 'em. They won't mind trying to help you out.
|
k so im going into year nine now and iv kinda liked this girl scince the begining of year 8. shes now one of my best friends and im still in love with her i think. out of my 4 best friends only one of them knows and she definatly would never tell anyone. but loving her has kinda been on and of. Some days I really want to kiss her and tell her I love her, but then others Im happy just talking to her and hugging her. And also, I think she might know im inlove with her cos she hates me at the moment ( if you want the whole story- http://www.advicenators.com/qview.php?q=584995) so yeah she doesn’t let me hug her any more and stuff. And I don’t know wheather to tell her or not?
xxx
(link)
|
There is nothing lesbian about thinking your friend is physically attractive or has a great personality. If you have a close bond with her and have that sort of "tight friendship" then there is nothing lesbian about that.
Lesbianism kind of means you want to have sex with her.
We're not talking about kissing or making out.
We're talking about sex-sex. Like, you both getting naked and putting lips upon lips (you get the idea, I'm sure).
If that idea is a bit icky then you probably have a normal, healthy FRIENDSHIP with your friend.
Growing up I had a friend I was really quite fond of. I thought of her a lot. I loved her very much--but as a sister. Lesbianism wasn't too common then where I lived so I never questioned my sexuality but I know I was very, very close to my friend. I thought she was pretty, has a great personality, and was well put together. Did I want to have sex with her or go down on her though? NO!
Ask yourself about the whole "sex" idea with this girl--or any girl, for that matter. If your thoughts are, "Well...yeah...I do..." then you probably are not straight. If you say, "No, that's kinda icky. She's really pretty but...no..." then congratulations on being straight.
From there, you should probably just tell her if you turn out to be a lesbian. If you never do tell her then you'll always have that "what-if" feeling. Be prepared to lose the friendship though. Being open and honest means giving it your all. You could lose her as a friend forever and freak her out badly or you could wind up in a relationship with her. Weigh the pros and cons and figure it out.
|
|
Today when I went to the bathroom and I went to whip i saw a teeny tiny bit of red. It was really really really small, you could hardly see it. Do you think I got my period? I havent had cramps or anything. (link)
|
If you wiped your bottom then it could be a small tear from a large, well, poop.
Otherwise, it could very well be a cut on your lips of the vaginal area or something.
If you are not bleeding out of your vagina then you probably didn't start your period just yet.
When you wipe, press the toilet paper gently into the opening of your vagina and then pull it away. If you see pinkish streaks then you're bleeding from your vagina and have started your period. If nothing is there then you may just have a little cut down there that bled near the time you wiped earlier.
If I were you, I would still put on a pad and go with that for a day or two, just in case you really do start up and begin flowin'. You definitely don't want to bloodstain your clothes so put on a pad and see what happens. If there is no more blood within the 2 days then probably didn't start after all.
|
|
I moved into a 4 bedroom apartment this year for college. I have my own bedroom and 3 roommates. The roommates have been living here for a long time and are good friends. They are 3-4 years older than me, which makes it hard to relate to them. I get along with them just fine. I go out with my other friends that are my age and when I come to the apartment, all I want to do is sit in my room and relax by myself. Should I feel bad that I'm not spending more time with them? I mean, we go out to dinner every once in a while and say hi in passing, but I don't feel like sitting with them in the living room when I could be sleeping or doing my homework... (link)
|
You shouldn't feel bad about wanting to relax BUT I would definitely make time to bond with your roommates a little.
The thing is, you don't have to have a party or do anything spectacular. You don't have to follow them around the apartment like a lost puppy. Once a week just go out to a movie or lunch with them and talk about classes, boyfriends/girlfriends, and life. Other than that, you can interact with them as you do now--passingly.
This will help you stay on their "good" side and not view you as too strange. You will be socially accepted in your apartment, basically, and that's what you want to do.
During the lunches or whatever you decide you can say, "Man, I really like to just relax now that I'm out on my own. It's so nice to just sit in my room and relax. Do you guys feel the same?"
Many times they will completely understand this feeling of "getting away" from it all.
Don't feel bad but make time for your roommates. You want to be friendly with them but you don't have to be best friends. A simple get-together once a week should be just fine. It doesn't have to last long but will help you all get to know each other. Once they get a "feel" of who you are then you'll just fit right in and they won't think twice about you spending nearly every waking moment alone in your room ;) Relax.
|
|
I had a nightmare that i was laying in a casket thirsty. this nightmare was so creepy. i'm scared that this is foreshadowing thati will die. but don't plenty of people have weird nightmares liket his that mean absolutely nothing at all? i'm scared haha is that a stupid reason to be?? I'm re doing my room and i liked this ruffly one and my twin says not to get it cause it looks like a dead girl's blanket so when i took my nap i was trying to figure out what would look good in my new room and maybe thats why i dreamt that? also, i began to think that i might be bisexual and i keep talking to this one guy who my sister likes and i'm scared that she'll find out and i commented a bisexual girl's picture on facebook saying your so pretty girl (link)
|
Relax.
A dream is just a dream. Really. The more you dwell on the dream and it's possible meaning the more you will continue to dream about things like this. Just relax.
The dream doesn't mean anything. Normal humans do not possess the ability to see in the future like that--dream or not. If we used all of our brain then maybe we would be able to but nobody can say that is a fact.
Your dream was just that.
It's like dreaming you stabbed someone and green jello cubes popped out of the person. It doesn't mean anything like that will ever happen in your life.
You commenting on a girl being pretty doesn't mean you're not straight. It's human nature to think people--of the opposite sex AND the same sex--are attractive. This helps you to know what the "norm" is for your society. There is absolutely nothing "bisexual" or "lesbian" about saying or thinking, "Wow! She's really pretty!" Bisexual or lesbian would mean you want to have sex with her. Do you want to have sex with a girl? No, we're not talking about making out--we're talking about you putting your lips on hers, if you get my drift. If you're "into" that then you can question your sexuality. Otherwise, you're just an average, typical girl living in this world. :)
|
Okay I will sound so stupid.. but how do you kiss a boy. Like first kiss basis.
Do you open your mouth at all.. or not. That's the main thing I want to know. (link)
|
Let the boy "lead" if you're unsure and you are pretty sure he has had real-life practice.
Otherwise, simply press your lips to his. You can slightly open your mouth just a little to help the kiss be better but it is absolutely not necessary for a good kiss.
Start with sealed lips against his. If he opens his mouth then slowly open yours up, too, so that you two can "french" kiss. Make sure you don't have a mouth full of saliva though so you don't start drooling down his face.
Once you get the hang of following his lead then you can start initiating the kiss yourself. It will come naturally and you'll figure out "when" you should open your mouth for a good french kiss or make-out session.
So, basically, start with a closed mouth and slowly open it a little as the kissing continues. You'll figure it out with a little one-on-one practice.
|
|