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Roommates at college
I moved into a 4 bedroom apartment this year for college. I have my own bedroom and 3 roommates. The roommates have been living here for a long time and are good friends. They are 3-4 years older than me, which makes it hard to relate to them. I get along with them just fine. I go out with my other friends that are my age and when I come to the apartment, all I want to do is sit in my room and relax by myself. Should I feel bad that I'm not spending more time with them? I mean, we go out to dinner every once in a while and say hi in passing, but I don't feel like sitting with them in the living room when I could be sleeping or doing my homework...
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Maybe give some free advice about: Friendship?
Hi there,
You know, there are a great many people who would really like to have you as a roommate. Why? Simply because you aren't in their business 100% of every waking moment.
I have been the inbound roommate and been the one to agree to let someone room with me and the one recurring theme through all of it is that there were never any issues like what you are afraid of.
As long as you aren't being deliberately anti-social, all is well.
This is something you should discuss with your new roomates, but I think you will be surprised at their response. Pleasantly surprised. :-)
Every batch of people is going to be different, of course, but if you had to pick a way to be for maximum happiness in the typical rooming situation, your chosen way to be would be my top pick.
Take care. Oh, and it was nice to hear someone going to college actually doing homework! ;-)
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You shouldn't feel bad about wanting to relax BUT I would definitely make time to bond with your roommates a little.
The thing is, you don't have to have a party or do anything spectacular. You don't have to follow them around the apartment like a lost puppy. Once a week just go out to a movie or lunch with them and talk about classes, boyfriends/girlfriends, and life. Other than that, you can interact with them as you do now--passingly.
This will help you stay on their "good" side and not view you as too strange. You will be socially accepted in your apartment, basically, and that's what you want to do.
During the lunches or whatever you decide you can say, "Man, I really like to just relax now that I'm out on my own. It's so nice to just sit in my room and relax. Do you guys feel the same?"
Many times they will completely understand this feeling of "getting away" from it all.
Don't feel bad but make time for your roommates. You want to be friendly with them but you don't have to be best friends. A simple get-together once a week should be just fine. It doesn't have to last long but will help you all get to know each other. Once they get a "feel" of who you are then you'll just fit right in and they won't think twice about you spending nearly every waking moment alone in your room ;) Relax.
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As long as you aren't being a bad roommate, and being inconsiderate or rude, there is nothing wrong with not having much in common with your roommates.
I've always been a sit in my room kind of girl. Even when I lived with close friends I take my relaxing time alone. It's just how I like to live at home.
I think if you are going out to eat with them sometimes you are probably doing a good job of building and maintaining exactly the kind of friendship you should have with your roommates. It doesn't have to be uber close, you just need a bit of friendship there to keep everything civil.
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