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Boyfriend wants to have sex: Are condoms alone enough protection?
My boyfriend wants to have sex with me and I want to also, but i am very afraid of getting pregnant. I told hom maybe with a condom. Do you think a condom is enough? Also, why does he think that it wont feel as good if he wears a condom? This is urgent. Can yu also please answer both questions. And one more thing, how can i get birth control without my parents knowing?
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Want to answer more questions in the Sexual Health and Reproduction category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Condoms?
Condoms, alone, are only about 86% effective on preventing pregnancy. In addition, recent studies show that they are not effective on preventing the transmission of various diseases like herpes, HPV, and AIDS. That's about a good 14% chance that the condom will fail and you will be at high risk of pregnancy. Of course, the percentage can vary and be much, much lower if the condom is not used, applied, or stored properly.
For note, the above percentage is taking from FDA records. That isn't me just pulling numbers out of my ass. That isn't me reading packages at the store and believing every word of "perfect usage" they claim on the boxes. That isn't me taking numbers from what I learned in health class. That number is from a federal source.
Condoms create a thin, rubbery layer between the penis and the inner walls of the vagina. The friction is still there, of course, but can be slightly diminished for the male partner. This is why they have created things like ultra-thin condoms.
Do I, personally, think a condom is enough to protect you?
No.
You should always use two methods every time you have sex. Hormonal birth control pills are a great second method and won't interfere with the condom usage. There are also things like spermicidal lubrication that still decrease the chances of accidental pregnancy. You should talk with your health care provider if you're interested in more alternatives since many times they can give you free trials of various products.
You may be able to get on birth control pills without your parents knowing it but you will have to pay for them at the pharmacy. If you don't have a job or any sort of decent income then that idea is probably out. It's better to talk with your parents about it now though because if an accident does happen you will have support.
For note, no method is 100% effective on preventing pregnancy. I've, personally, known women who used spermicidal foam, a regular condom, and birth control pills and still somehow wound up pregnant. Reproduction is what we do. It's nature. It happens. Sex means reproducing. It's hard to get two bodies to do something like this without causing a natural reaction.
For a last note, if you're not ready for babies then maybe you should rethink this all. Babies are a huge responsibility. There will always be a risk of making babies when you have sex. Always.
If your partner is not willing to use all protective methods to ensure you will not get pregnant then is he really someone you want to spend the rest of your life with? Dating is just that. Finding someone who you will want to spend your life with. If you cannot fathom being with a man who refuses to wear condoms because they "might" make sex less pleasurable, despite the lowered risk of an unwanted pregnancy, then you should really re-evaluate your entire relationship. Many people go down the wrong road and wind up as young, single parents because they made the wrong decisions about a partner. Think this through.
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The best Condoms have approx a 2% chance of breakage, higher for thinner condoms. There is a approx 1.5% of chance of slippage. (meaning a condom that is full of sperm and on might slip off in the vagina). Even if that does not happen there is still a 2% chance of sperm getting through (no joke).
There is a chance of a higher failure if with a manufacturer's defect, expired package, package damaged after manufacturing, including when you open it. If the condom is used for more than one ejaculation. If the condom is double bagged (2 condoms put on instead of one)
It is always best to use at least 2 methods of protection when having sex. Condoms for protection from some STD's and pregnancy plus another form of birth control. eg. pills (best) spermicide (avoid oral tastes bad, etc - discuss all options with your doctor
You have not listed how old you are. So here is a list of minor access laws by state.
[Link](Mouse over link to see full location)
Condoms reduce sensitivity, while the thinner ones help with this issue they also have a higher percent of breakage.
DON'T have sex without a condom (including oral) Condoms can protect you from some very serious STD's (not all std's).
There are quite a few responses to him saying It won't feel as good.
via Menstuff.org. [Link](Mouse over link to see full location)
Some of my favorites -
"if you wear a condom then we can both relax and enjoy ourselves"
"you won't feel anything unless we use a condom."
If is his unwilling to wear a condom walk away no matter how hard it is. A guy who doesn't respect your health and feeling about something so important doesn't respect you. That is a guy not worth having sex with.
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Condoms are definitely a necesity, but i HIGHLY suggest getting on birth control for at least two months before you have sex. its important to always always use a condom, but there is always the risk of it breaking, which is where birth control becomes important. As far as him thinking it wont feel as good, thats bearly true. Get a condom like "trojan ectasy", and the two of you won't even know its there. Getting birth control with out your parents knowing is simple. you just need to get to a clinic or even ask your doctor in private, and they can get you a perscription without your parents knowing. I do suggest talking to them about it first. they dont have to know your having sex, but just tell them you want to regulate your period or something. hope i helped!
:)<3
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