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Razhie. Advicenators Member Since: June 13, 2005. Answers: 5077. Visitors: 211514.
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The Question
female/16 is it possible to be in love with somebody with in a week and you've never met them. but you talk for about 5 hours a night on the phone and all through out the day on text and aim.?
i mean i know that is stupid. but idk if im in love with them or thier persoanilty? im aware of the standards its just hard cause they live 10 states away and we met on myspace? shady....i know. but shes all i think about and i love talking to her so much ive neevr been this happy and lately i feel im on top of the world/ its weird cause im not a lesbian im confused if im bisexual but i love her and ive never met her? what do i do please help
The Answer
Nope, in my opinion it is most definitely impossible.
Seriously infatuated? Sure. Deeply connected? No problem. In love? No way in hell.
Don’t put so much pressure on yourself. You know that no relationship is possible with this person, as teens living states apart it simply is not going to work out. So why stress out and make yourself miserable and worried about it.
Enjoy your online friendship. Go out and met some real people who you can get infatuated with and who can help you examine you romantic options.
This kind of friendship is just a way for you safely explore and experiment, so don’t tie yourself down to something that is neither possible nor healthy. Don’t use words like ‘love’ to try and turn it into something is simply isn’t going to be. Learn from this friendship and take what you learn out into the world so that you can take real risks with real people.
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The Question
Right so its a bit of an eww question - sorry guys.
Me and my boyfriend had sex today and I thought it would be fine, but I warned him I didn't know for sure whether I was off my period or not. So we did it - and aside from it all being very well and good I realised, after we stopped that the condom was covered in blood. I SO didn't want him to look but as he took it off it was inevitable and of course he saw. He went out of the room too so I have no idea what his reaction was. I also realised it had got a bit on the bed; not badly. He said not to worry it was fine - but as you can imagine I was MORTIFIED.
So... really, although I warned him beforehand and he said he didnt mind, I'm still utterly mortified and worried that he's ... well, utterly 'grossed out' about it. Ive been with him 1 year and 2 months and for someone who only turned 16 last year hes quite mature about these matters.
I'm still worried.
Guys, what would you think?
Or anyone, has this ever happened to you? Did it change anything? What would you think if you were him?
Thanks Advicenators :)
The Answer
In all of my sexual partners, and I've had a few, I only met one guy for whom menstrual blood was a serious turn-off.
Every other guy I have spoken too, has either wanted to avoid it, but not been irrationally afraid of it or absolutely couldn't care less about it.
It has certainly happened to me and I can't recall it ever 'changing' a thing. I'm a female. Females bleed once a month. Guys aren't idiots. They can put two and two togeather.
It's really not worth being this worried about. It was SEX. He was probably enjoying himself immensely. If he didn't like a bit of blood on the condom... well next time he can just forgo the immense enjoyment now can't he?
He told you it was no big deal, and he is right. Maybe it did weird him out a bit, but obviously he is mature enough to realize that the 'weirded out' response is not a rational or fair one. You should try to be just as mature.
Go ahead and avoid it if you don’t like it, but don’t make yourself miserable over it. Boys aren’t idiots. They know that we fart and burp just like they do. They know we bleed. Relax. It's totally natural and entirely harmless.
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The Question
Is it Bad to be addicted to sex? Like I sseriously think I am. and like sometimes my vagina will hurt when I have it to much, but I can't help it b/c it feels so good. Plus, my man lives with me so its kind of hard to stay away, ya know?
thanks ahead of time
The Answer
Yes, it's bad to be addicted to sex.
You are addicted to sex if you have sex when you should be doing other things (like working) or if you avoid responsibilties or behave in unsafe ways in order to get or praticipate in sex.
Too much sex is only really a problem if is causes physical pain, if a partner is unhappy, or if you have sex to try and solve your relationship problems (talking it out is really better for that.)
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The Question
I recently got a new kitten. He is very vocal. My boyfriend wants him to sleep in the bathroom at night to make sure he uses the litterbox. problem is, he meows A LOT. He's lonely and wants me to be by him. if it were my choice i would have him in bed with me (so far he always uses the box during the day). My boyfriend gets so so mad at night with its meowing and has been putting him in the laundry room, which is cold and unfamiliar to the kitten. i feel bad, so then I make a bed in there and sleep with the kitten. My boyfriend can still here it meow if I am not there and he gets real mad that I wont sleep in bed with him. it causes daily arguments and i am so tired of arguing. I dont want him to be mad, but I don't want my kitten to be lonely either. Please help! and and all suggestions welcome.
The Answer
If this kitten is more then 10-12 weeks old (which it ought to be, to have been taken from its mother) and it has been in your home for more then a week, then you need to stop. The cat needs to learn how to deal with loneliness without becoming a pain in the ass.
If it is less then 12 weeks, or has only been in your home for a few days, you can keep babying it a bit longer, but be ready to follow my advice in the next little while if the mewing does not stop on it's own.
After a week or so, your cat should have developed confidence in it's new surrounding and no longer being mewing out of geunine feeling, it will simply be meowing because you've taught him to meow. When he mews you are rewarding him with affection and attention. If you keep doing it, soon he will just walk around meowing and howling just for the fun of it.
If you don't develope a bit of a backbone and let the growing kitten sob, soon you will have a cat with much more powerful vocal cords doing the exact same thing everytime you leave the house. Your neighbors will be even less understanding then your boyfriend, and they'll be right.
First off: Take him to a vet if you haven't already and make sure there is no physical reason for the meowing.
Secondly: Exercise him and play with him so he is get tired, and doesn't mew simply out of boredom. Encourage your boyfriend to do the same. The kitten needs attention and socialization, on your schedule though, not his. Provide toys and a warm blanket for him in his sleeping area. Checking in on him is fine, but ONLY when he quites down.
Thirdly: Pay attention to kitty and give him what he wants, but ONLY when he is quiet. If he starts trying to bully you with mewing (and it IS bullying you) don't give in. If you wait until the kitten is quiet, he will learn that Silence = Rewards and Love!
If you've already trained him too firmly to mew, you might need to get out a water sprayer or another form of determent to teach him to stop, but hopefully he is still young enough that if you simply behave yourself, he'll follow suit.
When you take control of the situation your kitten will start to understand, and your boyfriend will feel more confident. Just explain to your boyfriend what you are doing. Explain to him that he needs to be patient and support of your kitten as he learns, he needs to help socialize the kitten by playing with it and ignoring it when it mews.
YOU have to take responsibilty for training and making your cat a pleasant member of the household. That means not running to him eachtime he makes a peep. That is your job. If you mess it up you'll be stuck with an unpleasant pet for years, so do it right.
(FYI, I'm sure you've heard the advice that cats often do best in pairs. Your problem is one of the reaons why.)
http://cat.lifetips.com/faq/32351/0/why-is-my-cat-meowing-constantly/index.html
EDIT: Yes, as he is still a bit young to be seperated from his mother it would be a good idea to continue to give him attention for another week or two. Carrying him close to your body during then day will help comfort him and keep him warm (of course, put him down for a bit if he begins to mew too much to begin to give him the idea that isn't fun for you to hear). Perparing his bed with a towel or stuff animal and making the enviroment warm will help him be more comforable.
You might also think about moving him into your room BUT putting him in a carrying crate if you do not want him in your bed. The kitten might behave just fine when he can at least see and smell where you are.
One last note: Tell your boyfriend to grow up and have some senstivity. I hope you don't plan on having kids with this guy. If he can't manage a kitten I don't know how he'd bare with a child.
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The Question
I heard that while on birth control you have to still wear a condom and me and I have been on birth control for 3 months and me and my boyfriend have been havind sex without a condom for 2 months and he has been penetrating in me the whole time and I of course have not gotten pregnant. I wanted to know if i kept doing that will there be a chance that to much seman can get in me and I can get pregnant? We have sex basically every other day, sometimes twice a day. is that too much?
Thank you in advance...
Ashleigh
The Answer
Yes, you can still get pregnant.
No method is perfect. If you take your birthcontrol exactly as you should, it's close to perfect, but the chance still exists that you could become pregnant.
Sex is 'too much' either when it becomes painful, or when having it begins to negatively effect your life (ie, you wont study because you rather have sex, or you don't eat dinner because you rather have sex, or you ignore your friends because you rather be having sex...)
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The Question
My bf never shuts up about his penis. His jokes center around that. He constantly tells everyone it's big. I'm sick of hearing it. I don't know why he does that so much. Is he insecure or just dirty minded 24/7? Are most guys this way?
The Answer
No. Most guys grow out of it when they realize no one thinks it's funny anymore.
It was probably pretty funny when he was twelve... now it's just a bit sad.
You just need to tell him so, or better yet, just don't laugh at all. He'll get the message. He wants to behave like a twelve year old when he is with his guy friends he is most welcome too, but you don't have to pretend it's the hight of wit.
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The Question
I AM NOT THE PROBLEM. I thought it over..again..again..and again and again. I haven't done anything to deserve this shit that my friends put me through. But you can't just be like o alright im not gunnna be friends with my best friends anymore U KNOW!?
The Answer
You are the one with the problem.
That means you have to change to solve the problem.
If the change you choose is to not be her friend anymore, that is fine.
I didn't say you deserve this and I didn't say you are the problem. You don't and you aren't.
But you are the still the one who has to begin the change in order to move this forward.
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The Question
Okay so I have a boyfriend who recently hit his mom..Okay more like bruised it up.. and he might be heading for boot camp this summer. and he threw a plazma Big screen tv at his 12 yr, brother.
he says his brother was throwing a chair at him though. few months ago he got sent to his dads cause he did somehting wrong then him and his dad got in a fist fight.. he says he "Beat the s*** out of him" which isnt all that good sense he got searched, hand cuffed and taken down to the police station.. should i be worried? hes not abbusive right? just a temper?
The Answer
A 'temper' that leads to harmful physical action IS PHYSICAL ABUSE. That is pretty much the defination of being physically abusive right there.
You should be worried. Worried about being close to someone whoes household allows this behavoir and a young boy who is willing to physically attack his mother, father and a child younger then him.
You should be worried, you are dating an abuser. You are simply lucky not to have fallen into the line of fire yet. You should keep yourself safe. If you don't have the strength to dump him, at least keep your distance until he learns to behave like a human being and express VERY keen unhappiness with his choices.
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The Question
ive never been in a relationship. i really dont count 2 weeks with a guy anything serious..and thats pretty much all ive had in my life. ive had some guys want to go out with me and there was this one in particular saying he would do anything and everything for me..yet i always seem to turn them down.
i dont know if its because im scared to be in a committed relationship, or what.
sometimes i think to myself that if it was really ment to happen, then somehow i would end up being with them..and since im always alone, i just havent found the right guy yet.
is that stupid to think?
since i can remember, i used to always write in my journal and pray to find that one guy who really loves me..but nineteen years later, it hasnt came true.
i dont really know what im trying to ask, i just am confused on why i have been alone all my life i guess.
The Answer
A little persepective here:
If you are nineteen, it hasn't even been rational for you to consider a serious rommantic relationship for more then the last five years, at most...
So you've been aware of the possibilty of dating for the last five years or so, and you likely have about 50 more years of life to live... (If you think single 80 year-olds don't date, you very misinformed.)
You hardly have enough experience or track record to declare yourself to be 'alone all your life'. Don't get trapped in that negative thinking and put yourself down like that.
You have chossen not to date thus far. You can change that choice whenever you want too!
I think the best thing you can do in your position right now is stop waiting for Mr. Perfect and starting dating the Mr. Intererestings and Mr. Intriguings. Although looking for the one guy who 'really loves you' is a good ideal, it is no reason not to enjoy the company of others and engage in some causal dating.
In fact! That casual dating is a great way to learn what love isn't.
Don't look at each guy you flirt with or are interested in as your possible soul mate, look at them as possibly good company and intriguing human beings.
If you really want something to happen, you can't just wait for the universe to provide it for you. You have to make is SUPER EASY for the universe to provide and that means taking risks and staying open to oppertunities.
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The Question
does anyone know where i can buy water pills? they make you lose water weight super-fast, apparently. and i put salt on evveryythingg, so obviously, i retain water. and dont tell me to stop using salt, thats not the issue. but if anyone can tell me where to buy them, around how much they cost, and are they sold to minors without parental consent? im 16. im not going to abuse them or O.D. or anything, water weight just sucks. thanks! 16/f/USA
The Answer
Water pills, whose proper medical term is 'diuretics' are used to treat health conditions like high blood pressure or congestive heart failure that leave a dangerous amount of fluid in the body. Although it is possible to purchase some 'herbal' diuretics over the counter, you can never be sure exactly what is in such pills and you really should NOT be taking a diuretic without a doctor's supervision anyways.
They aren't always effective in causing water-weight loss either. Some people will stop retaining water, others simply wont. It's a bit of a gamble.
Using them, to try and loose weight, IS abusing them.
They can be very dangerous, ESPCAILLY for teenage females whoes bodies already tend to have difficulty maintaining the levels of electrolytes they need to fuction. You could cause serious cardiac (heart) problems and muscle weakness if you took these. Not to mention dehdration of course.
People who recieve diurectics from doctors often must take other supliments with them, like postassium and iron pills, in order to stay healthy, and go in to have thier blood levels monitered regularly. Young females tend to alreaday have trouble with thier posttasium and iron levels. As someone who wound up in the hospital due to low iron, I wouldn't suggest trying it.
Diuretics also don't actually help you loose 'weight'; they simply remove excess fluid from the body. So it's just a temporary quick fix. As soon as you stop taking them that fluid will return, because it is natural for the body, especially the female body, to retain some excess water.
If you really want to loose some water weight, eat less salt and DRINK MORE WATER. Drinking water with a slice of lemon or lime is a natural sort of diuretic that won't cause you too loose dangerous amounts of fluids.
If you are young and healthy, your body will take care of itself if you simply give it the means too.
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The Question
Alright this isnt exactly a question but whatever. Alot of times things finally start going right in my life and i'm happy...for a little while until something goes wrong or something and then i'm not happy i dont know it's jst not constant and it bugs me because i dont like going from everything being great to everything being bad from being happy to numb and all these things it's really confusing and of course you would probably say "your 14 your barely a teenager things are going to be confusing and inconsistant" but i like i said i dont like it cause anytime things go good i think to much about it and how great things are going and how happy i am then when things go bad i think way to much about how i just wish i was happy and things were good again and how i must be doing something wrong if things keep changing so quikly and what not anywho i guess what i need is some advice hence this website so i just want your thoughts on this please an thankyou in advance
The Answer
You are human. Things are going to be confusing and inconsistant.
Life can be a roller coaster ride unless you create consistancy for yourself. I know, that sounds crazy. I used to think that I couldn't control what life was 'doing to me' and that there was nothing I could do about the stress and work and fighting that was always coming down on my head.
I was so completely wrong. I had WAY more control over my life then I ever imagined.
But a firm grounding is not something life gives to you, it's something you have to make yourself. Of course, this a really tough thing to do as a teen, when you are only really starting to live! But here are a few tips:
1.)Find a small, simple, stupid thing that makes you happy:
I like to make earings. Cheep beads and wire can keep me happy for hours and wearing them makes me feel special.
I like reading in a bubble bath.
I like baking cupcakes.
None of these things 'fix' any of the badness in life, but they don't take much time and they do ground you and offer trustworthy ways to make yourself feel good despite whatever else is going on.
2.) Try not to get upset about things you can't control.
You can't control what other people think or feel or do. You can make yourself miserable if you try. Of course you'll always be senstive to what other people think, but don't let it rule your life.
3.) Give yourself permission to choose 'failure'.
Failing when you didn't want too or plan to is awful, but CHOOSING to not to something to the best of your ability, or CHOOSING that a relationship is no longer worth the energy it requires, or CHOOSING that a praticular assignment or test doesn't need to done perfectly, gives you a sense of power, control and calmness. Give yourself permission to choose, and even if you decide afterwards that your choice wasn't the right one, don't beat yourself up about it. At least you made a choice and learned from it, rather then just letting things happen to you.
So, find something that will help ground you, accpet what you cannot control, and make active choices. None of that will stop bad, confusing shit from happening, and it wont slow down the rate at which stuff changes, but it will make you feel better, and more in control of it all.
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The Question
Then i suppose the real question is..
how do i change all that stuff?
I would never let her go because she is my best friend and i love her to death. I have tried talking to her over and over. Because i tried to talk to her, YOU KNOW WHAT HER AND HER BOYFRIEND LABEL ME AS NOW? They said "You are too sensitive, you are the one who is always getting mad over everything, and my personal favorite YOU OVER ANALIZE" I know i do, but thats the problem. I have become fearful of talking to her about it because they say those things, and that seperates us even more. I tried talking to her and she said she would change it, well she didnt. Now im scared to to say something again because i dont want to be known as that picky person. So what do i do?
The Answer
You can't live in fear, like I said before you just have to make your message clear, simple and EXACT.
Don't talk about what you want her to change, tell her what YOU are going to change and ask for her help.
"I am going to give you some space and not do your homework anymore. I shouldn't be doing it anyways, and it is making me upset."
AND/OR
"I would like to make some time for the two of us to hang out, just me and you. Will you hang out with me this Friday night?"
Don't whine or complain. Be straight to the point and factual. Tell her what you think the problem is and have an ACTION PLAN to help solve it.
Remember: If she doesn't change, that is her CHOICE and the only thing you can do is decide if you can deal with her choice or not. Loving someone enough to stick around and hurt eachother... well, that isn't really love at all. That is just insantity.
What it comes down to is this: You can either try and be clear about your needs in a calm, non-whiny way, or you can go on being miserable. If you go on being miserable and fighting the friendship WILL DIE sooner or later. If you change your approach, are clear about your wishes and forgive her for her choices that hurt you... you at least have a shot of maintaining your friendship.
There are no tricks to doing this. You just have to take control of yourself, plan what you will say and do, and try your best.
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The Question
Dear Razhie, I rlly appreciate your time that you spent writing to me. However, there is a few things i need to clear up with you before you can fully understand the situation. Ugh this is hard to explain. You are correct i totally agree that she does not undertstand how to balance her relationships, but perhaps she does. It just seems like she doesnt care too. We spend time together, we are together all the time, BUT HE IS ALWAYS THERE. I rarely hang out with her by myself now and that bugs me because we always used to have eachothers backs and we talked all the time. When we are not with him, he asks me to come and what can i say hes my best friend too. But i dont expect her to choose between us, thats not what i meant. Its just that i took pride in comfort in knowing that we were eachothers number 1's and we looked to eachother for everything. It was like that for 3 years, people always said we were attached at the hips, and that we were like sisters. Its not that I want her to pick, its jus that i feel a comfort level to know that i WOULD be the one she would pick if she HAD TOO, which she doesnt and i would never make her...but it would still be nice to know. I mean i have been there so much longer then him, and it would hurt to know that their bond is more important than ours. Plus i dont understand why she tells him everything now instead of me. I am so sick of hearing him say did she tell u...did she tell u? My answer is always NO BECAUSE SHE NEVER TELLS ME ANYTHING ANYMORE. She always tells him. I don't think she truely understands how much i do for her. I take care of her when she is sick, i comfort her when HE TREATS HER LIKE DIRT. I copy my homework for her so she wont happen to do it.I make her food, I DO EVERYTHING A GOOD BEST FRIEND DOES. Instead of repaying me with the graditude i show her, SHE REPAYS IT TO HER BOYFRIEND. She does all that stuff for him and NOT FOR ME ?! Last night she said and i quote "he treats me like dirt and i dont deserve it" I wanted to smack her. SHE TREATS ME LIKE DIRT AND I DONT DESERVE IT! She can be so hipicritical HELP ME PLZ !!
The Answer
Nothing you’ve said here is changing my advice hun.
You really need to take a deep breath and a look at what you can and cannot change.
You CANNOT change her feelings for him, or her choice to date him.
You CANNOT change her desire to confide in him.
You CANNOT change what she decides to confide in you.
You CANNOT change the way she chooses to balance her relationships.
You have absolutely no control over those things. You never did and you never will.
You can't earn her confidence no matter what you do. You could be her slave! It still wouldn't 'make' her tell you anything. There is no 'pay back' when it comes to friends. It just doesn't work that way.
I think you unknowingly admitted what the biggest problem here is: You took PRIDE in your special place in her life. Your pride is hurt and your desire to be 'picked first' is a selfish one that is going to keep making you miserable until you let it go.
And those are good things!
Because you CAN control your own feelings.
You CAN get that pride under control.
You CAN accept that just because you might not be #1 doesn't mean you aren't important.
You CAN stop doing things for her.
You CAN stop feeling bitter about her ingratitude.
You CAN talk to her about your pain.
You CAN ask her to help you preserve your special bond by spending time together and looking for reinforcement and affection.
You CAN EVEN end the friendship if it doesn't make you happy anymore.
Those are the things you CAN do to make this situation better.
If you keep focusing all your energy onto trying to change her, you are only going to keep being disappointed and frustrated. She might not be prefect, she might not even be a very good friend, but if you want this situation to change it is YOU who has to start that change.
She is not going to change. Why should she? If you are such a good friend, why would she bother changing? She is getting everything she needs from you.
YOU ARE THE ONE WHO MUST CHANGE. Not because you are the ‘bad guy’ but because you are the one who NEEDS the change.
Stop obsessing and running in circles, start changing the things that upset you. Don't accept the behavoir you don't like. Don't give her things you don't want too. Don't hang out with people you don't want too. SPEAK UP FOR YOURSELF AND YOUR INTERESTS IN A RESPECTFUL WAY as I outlined in my pervious advice.
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The Question
i am not doing anything. i didnt think she will sleep in my bed. i mean we are not face to face. i know she no want to sleep on the floor but my other friend sleep on the floor she no mind, but sara doesnt say anything she will lay on my bed, i got annoyed cause she took the whole bed! she said "happy now more room for yeah" i said "yes". i get grumpy when someone in my way when i sleep.
man what the fuck she does that! i ignore her and treat her like a friend. i dont flirt or get close SHE does that, she stright (so i think she is) but fuck. i dont know what to do...so i ignore her.
The Answer
You are doing something: You are failing to stand up for yourself.
She keeps doing these things, because she wants the attention and if you try not to give it to her, she will keep trying harder, like a small child would.
If something makes you uncomfortable, confused, or unhappy SAY SO.
Stand up for yourself. Demand respect for your feelings. Maybe sleep on the floor yourself or better yet, don't invite her to sleep over at all.
Stop just putting up with her! That is not going to solver this problem. This wont end until you put a stop to it.
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The Question
My parents are fighting. They are not considering a divorce but one in a while they just go at each other. It's really sad and since i am the oldest i want to do something about it. My little sisters get sad and cry when they fight and i want to help them. What can i do to make them realize what they are doing wrong? They both blame each other for things but truthfully it is always equally both their fault! I really need some good advice. Please don't give me the "talk to them" answer because right know i don't want to start anything else. Please help me. I really want to fix this becuase everytime they fight it bring up all these past things from like 15 years ago! Who cares about those things! Please help me. (sorry if this is long, i just feel very unstable and sad right now).
The Answer
From one eldest sister to another, I know exactly what you are describing.
It wasn't my parents at war, which I'm sure must be worse, but my brother, father and some in-laws.
If you aren't willing to talk to them about this, the best thing you can do is ignore them and focus on supporting your siblings and providing mature distractions and explinations for them.
I found explaining to my little siblings that fights are NOT thier faults at all and that the people involved still loved eachother was sort of helpful, but the explaination that really stuck with them was this:
Parents are people too. They are good people who love us and take care of us, but they still make mistakes. Right now mom and dad are making a mistake by being mean to eachother. Nothing we can do will stop it. Just know that it is just a mistake and it's one they have to fix on thier own, as adults. Our job as kids is just to forgive them, not fix them.
Now, you don't HAVE to talk to your parents about this, but as you get older, you'll want too. The good place to start is when they bring it up. Calm statements like "Actually, I don't like when you talk about things that happened that long ago." Or "It makes me uncomfortable to talk about this." or "I don't think either of you are right, and I don't enjoy it when you fight."
Don't feed the monster by arguing with them or taking sides. Simply let them know that you are unhappy and uncomfortable with them both behaving that way. When they ask you point blank "Well, do think it's OKAY that he/she does THAT!?" the response is "I know you don't think it's okay, I just wish you both wouldn't fight so fiercely about it."
Let them blame it on eachother, just stick to your message: It doesn't matter who is at fault, you don't like what is happening.
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The Question
15.f
hey i have this friend, same age, and over the summer she started talking to an upperclassman guy via a social networking website. well, all in all, he's kind of a player & she ended up telling him she likes him after they hooked up a few times. he seemed really happy & all, but never admitted to liking her back, and now they're talking less and less. she feels really badly because had she not told him she liked him, he would have still wanted to hang out with her & such. so he was pretty much just using her sort of to get some.
i KNOW she should stop liking him, but if YOU were my friend and you really liked this guy, what would you do? or what should i tell my friend to do? if you say "tell her to stop liking him" you're gonna get rated down.
note: i do not know the guy and i only know his first name. so i can't "talk to him" on the side or anything.
The Answer
Tell her to give it some time and some space, and not to go trying to 'make' him talk to her.
He proved himself to probably be a bit insenstive, and certainly not interested in her, so he isn't the person who is going to help her start feeling better.
Although it's always said to loose a friend, and even harder to loose a crush, it's better that she realize his feelings now then after she was even more involved.
Keep her distracted and encrouage her not to speak to him anymore until she has gotten over him. Only when the feelings have passed can they be 'just friends'. Anything before that will only confuse and hurt her.
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The Question
okk so if you giva a guy a hand job and it gets on your panties there is a possibility of you getting pregnant isnt there? except a veeery minor chance? but still a chance? thanks :)
The Answer
Yes, there is a chance. It's about the same chance of a radioactive spider biting you and giving you superpowers... but it exists.
In order for sperm to get inside you, fluid must make contact with fluid. Sperm must move through fluid, it doesn't hop through the air or climb over hairs and fibers like a little paratrooper. But if his fluids come in contact with yours, then yes, it is possible.
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The Question
so i have a thing for my best friend sara, i told her how i felt but she doesnt like me in that way. but sometimes when we have sleep overs at my place she will sleep in the same bed with me. foot to head. i hate it because i get confused! trying not to think to much of it. but its like when she get close i get annoyed because i want to ignore her so i can move on. she slept in the same bed with me every time we have a sleep over. i have a other bed but my other friend sleeps on that. but sara likes to share my bed with me...!?
why does she do that?
fyi" f/21/bi
The Answer
Please stop doing this to yourself.
She likes that you like her. She wants you to keep liking her because it feels good.
She has to keep you confused in order to for you to keep liking her. If she told you flat out "No, never in a million years." her fun would be over.
She wants the attention, plain and simple.
You are going to be stuck in this same misery until you learn to stop giving it to her.
Please, Please, PLEASE. For your own sake, Stop the maddness. Don't invite her to sleepovers, or insist that the sleeping arragements change.
Make her into 'just a friend' by treating her like one.
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The Question
"wake me up when september ends" and in that song by taylor swift she says "september saw a month of tears"...
that's weird.
because in september my boyfriend broke up with me like 3 times and september was just horrible for me.
is september proven a depressing month..or what?
The Answer
Not that I know of.
Apparently the most sucides take place in January and Febuary... When you are young though, September is a huge transition month of change. That certainly effects things.
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The Question
for a while now i have been getting really horny and all i want is for someone to eat me out. like i am almost tempted to ask some random neighbor hood boy to eat me out and i dont even talk to him. so should i go for it? or should i try to fight the feeling? and also how can i fight the feeling?
The Answer
You fight a feeling by NOT feeding the feeling.
That means ignoring it, distracting yourself, and using your willpower to stop obsessing.
We are not slaves to our feelings. They are useful tools and guides, not hard facts. Unless you are mentally ill you can master your desire and do what you know it rational.
In this case, it would be rational to NOT go about asking random guys to perform oral sex on you...
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