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I hope that if you come to this site, you feel at least some reassurance. Life is messy, life isn't perfect, and I love that there is a place, virtual as it is that can acknowledge this. I don't pretend to be perfect or know everything, but I promise that if you ask me a question, or if I see one and take an interest, I will answer it as best I can.Check out my forum here:
http://www.advicenators.com/talkaboutme.php?userboard_id=41589
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advice
everytime i date a guy i have a feeling there gonna brake up with me the people i like and htey do even if i odnt have a feeling that they arnt and i hate it i got my heart broken so many times i need help i hate crying i hate having my heart broken i just want a guy that wont brake up with me in a week or 2 or less and it hurts worse when its longer but i liked this guy so much i hate this!
Less than a week with a guy isn't really a relationship. The reason you feel like your heart's been broken so many times is because you build each start of something up so seriously. The truth is we all have crushes and a lot of them are fleeting. To get your heart broken less, wait before you give it. I don't mean be catty or play mind games, just get to know the guy before you enter in a relationship with them. To be really safe, get to know them on a friends basis first, and don't start off by officially dating, but do something more casual instead, like hang out or go for a walk with them.
As well, you should spend more time on yourself, and get your confidence up. You're more likely to have success in future relationships if you don't NEED a guy to complete you and if you can be your own person. It's so easy to be insecure and get messed around with but if you know yourself, keep your head, and let things develop slowly without depending too much on guys to keep you moving along in the world, not only will your heart be broken much less but you will be able to find someone who really respects you and stays with you when that time comes.
I've been going out with my boyfriend for 7 months and I love him so much, but since the beginning of our relationship, there's been problems with him flirting. I've told him 4 times with 4 different situations to tone it down or try to stop and every time it got worse. The last time I told him, nothing has come up so far. But every so often he brags to his guy friends about some hot girl he saw wearing pasties in Havasu and blah blah blah. The worst part is he says it right in front of me, no holding back. I get the whole "macho" act in front of his friends and how he "got a boner" when she wet on the pole and crap, but i don't wanna hear that kinda stuff. It's bad enough that his eyes back track when I'm talking to him and a girl with big boobs walks by. It's not just him, it's me too. I tend to overthink anything and I'm not the kind of girl that just lets thing roll off and "worry about what's happening now and not in the future". whatever. I end up thinking about these little things way too much and ending up extremely depressed. With him, it's all talk, but that's what kills me the most and it really gets to me. Sometimes I think it'sd be easier if he actually cheated on me so I wouldn't have to worry. I know that sounds awful and weird, but I don't know how to explain it. It would be really great if I could get a point of view from someone who's been in a long relationship and has gone through something similar.
I haven't gone through something similar, and I don't believe you should be going through this either. In a long term relationship it's perfectly normal to worry about the future - that's what makes it long term, and about sweating the small stuff, sometimes it's a good thing and sometimes it's not. In your case, talking about other hot girls as obsessively as he is in front of you while you told him not to is extremely disrespectful. In a relationship you should be able to trust your partner, not expect them to cheat on you. You need a guy that, when he's around you, will make you feel special, and you shouldn't settle for anything less.
That said, how have you told him to stop? If he's into the whole macho guy thing, it's possible that you weren't loud enough. Or bold enough, whatever. It would probably be better if you had this conversation with him alone and where really vocal about how upsetting his act is to you. And speaking of his act... I hope for your sake that it is just an act. Possibly this is just something that he's always done with his friends and doesn't want to stop just because you are tagging along. If it's not, think of how he normally behaves around you. Does he listen when you talk to him? Does he support you? Does he seem to care about you at all? Believe me - it's a reasonable to expect this guy of yours to stop flirting or openly checking other girls out, especially if you guys have been together for seven months. If he doesn't, it's also reasonable to have doubts about the relationship.
I'm a 16 year old female and I have been dating a boy for about 3 years, we are very close and really care about each other. We are also about to move in together in a few months. But i also have this other guy he was my first love and i dont think we ever truly let go of one another. The other weekend he and i went camping with some friends and we got alot closer it feels as though we rekindle that old flame. I love my current boyfriend alot and dont want to lose or hurt him but when im with this other boy i feel that same love for him.
What should i do?
Someone please help.
Signed,
Confused Heart
Do you really still like your first love or are you more worried because you're about to move in with your boyfriend? There must be some reason you were with this boy of yours for three years and not your "first love" and I would think seriously about this before you consider doing anything that could potentially hurt your relationship. It could be that while you still want to be with your guy of three years you aren't ready for the living together step.
Either way, being confused as you are, it might help if you did something alone that would clear your head. You were what, 13, when you found your first flame? You're still young and have your whole life ahead of you.
Sorry it might be long but please someone read and help me?
I am just wondering, am I living in a fantasy land? Well I am 16/f and I turn 17 in december. (about to be junior in highschool) The thing is, I have been going out with my bf for 3 month and half, about. I am really great it worked out like that because he's been my best friend for about a year eversince my 10th grade year started. We were just acquaintences at the beginning of my 10th grade (he was senior and now he graduated) and we just became really good friends.
When we were just friends, I realized i liked him as more than a friend but I didnt want to admit that because I wasnt sure if he liked me because he is nice to everyone (he was voted most friendliest...) so i was even in denial that i liked him and i went out with couple guys and i always confided in him about guy stuff. I know... not a good idea to talk about a guy with another guy. but he was only one i could really trust and i know he gives me a solid truth. And we both knew i had some "committment issue" yet when it came down, he still didn't judge me differently and asked me out.
Well that's really great because he is such a great guy and he's my best friend and my boyfriend. I truly believe there is no one wonderful like him (even though that is totally my biased opinion :D) We can and do talk on the phone for hours everynight and there's never and dull moment. We can make fun of eachother like crazy and have fun. We have very similar hobbies and its all good.
However nothing can be this perfect. I am not allow to date anybody until i graduate from high school. We are different race and both of our parents dont really want that. He's already graduated (taking off 1 year before going to any college) and I am about to start my junior year.
But I told him I loved him because I do. I really do love him even if some people may say how can a 16 year old girl know. His response was that he believes that you only love one person and only that person in your whole life so when he tells me, that would be tied up with him asking me to marry me. I respect his decision and opinions so no big deal. But lately we've been talking about marrying and all that and everything but the thing is, is there a even chance that this will actually work out? I mean nothing would make me happy if it all worked out like we planned (yes we even planned on where and when to get married... how wonderful..) or is it just a childish fantasy?
What you two have is really special and not something that just happens everyday. I think one of the major problems that the world today has is that we are all way too cynical, and don't want to believe things that are right in front of our faces. You too don't seem to have that problem, and I don't think it would be fair if anyone told you that what you have is a childish fantasy. Who says you can't feel love at any age? In fact, if you want to be scientific, there are studies that have shown that the brain is the most developed at age 14 or 15... But anyway. Personally, I'd wait a while to get married or consider it, if only for everyone else to get used to it and be on your side. And just because it's very different considering marriage in high school than once you've graduated. Don't, however, let your parents or society or anyone else phase being with him or you'll regret it.
Honestly, taking your relationship seriously is not a bad thing. The reason for all the casual sex and friends with benefits is because everyone is scared to do so. Your parents probably don't want you to get involved before university because they want you to be able to have a life ahead of you that you can chose without having anything else tying you down. In any case, I would talk to them about their opinions around this, because they need to respect that you are sixteen and would like to date.
I don't think anyone can really know for sure if your relationship will "work out". All you can really do is enjoy your time with him and live in the moment without really worrying about everything - how young you are, the future. If both of you want it enough and fight for it enough what you have will work. Enjoy what you have; you're lucky for having it and you only live once.
How can i let my b/f no that i want to do a little more than what we are doing now? I dont want 2 have sex but just more stuff.. Without well like making him feel weird??!!!.... How do i no that he wants to do these things 2??... 14/f...!! any advice!?...
OK I'm not really sure what "stage" you are in... but in general, a good way to do more without making him (or you) feel weird would be to take it slow and always make sure he seems to be okay with what you are doing (reciprocating, doesn't look uncomfortable, looks like is enjoying it). You don't necessarily have to even be after going "further", as often it is just as exciting to do different things at the same stage as the other stuff you are doing. Run your fingers through his hair, kiss him somewhere other than the lips, trace circles on his body, or just on his hand... once again, what you make of this advice is obviously about where you are physically. You're still young so I think waiting to have sex or do other things that could potentially make either of you uncomfortable is a good thing.
Talking about going "further" might be an awkward conversation, but definitely it is necessary if there was a serious risk of either of you going out of your comfort zones (you can use your own judgment on this one). Otherwise, keeping it playful and going really slow on the things that you two may not have done before is my advice. If you were to try to do something different build it into the stuff you already do. If you take it too far, both of you will realize it, if you go slow enough. That way you get the benefit of a little experimentation without regretting it later (or making him feel too "weird =]).
On a side note, be sure that you have a solid friendship typey relationship as well. Make sure you do things with him that aren't just focused on the physical stuff. Both of you will feel more comfortable with this side, anyway, if you do this, and generally more comfortable around each other.
If he really wants to "do these things too" then he will initiate, but not initiating isn't a sign he doesn't want it. I'm not sure you could ever totally know; I'd say just do what feels right and don't force anything.
I'm really mad right now. I wont get into details but today has just NOT been going my way. I used to be a cutter and smoker. I'm only 15 and I quit both a long time ago and really don't want to start one or even both again. Right now I'm really stressed and mad. Anyone have any tips for me?
kthnx.
It helps (and this goes for anything) to find something that you are passionate about, or anything that is going to take up time, distract you, and make you feel good. For me it's drawing, writing songs, you get the idea. Just anything that you can hang onto when nothing else is there for you. Another thing that helps is venting. Keeping a diary often helps, or finding a good friend that will listen to you and that you can trust and rely on.
Things that help in general are being involved: get a job that you enjoy, join a sports team, volunteer. Being a part of a team does wonders to make you feel accepted and like you matter.
Excersize is also a good one, because it creates endorohins that actually do create happiness. If nothing else fails, just do anything that will distract you. Loud music often helps... or scribbling hard on a piece of people just to get the anger out. Go to a place you feel comfortable just being yourself - for me it's on top of my garage roof. If you are really tense once again, you could write down all that you feel and don't be afraid to be offensive because no one will ever see it. Never tried it but just standing somewhere, anywhere, and screaming at the top of your lungs to get the tension out. Remind yourself that you are stronger than whatever you are going through, whatever you will go through. You are a worthwhile person, too worthwhile to go back to your addictions! You will get through this =]
Theres this guy I like and im pretty sure he likes me. We have hung out a couple times recently and we have kissed and made out and all that stuff. I really want to ask him out but i dont want to get turned down. Im not sure if he is looking for a relationship or not. Im pretty sure he likes me because we talk online and hes kissed me like i said. If i do ask him out how do i tell the time is right and how do i do it.
Should i even ask him out?
Please help!
You talk and you kiss. He likes you but you also communicate in other ways that establish trust (like communicating) and you already hang out. The difference between this and going out is... nothing. Well there is one difference. You would be acknowledging the relationship that is already there to yourself and admitting to yourself that you wish t be truly committed to this guy. It can be a tough thing to admit to yourself for the relationship shy or the loveshy in general. Though, honestly, all you are doing is opening your eyes to what is already there.
To get him to get the hint, casually, instead of suggesting a regular hangout, suggest something more formal, like dinner and a movie. That should help him get the message that you wish to take this further. You never know, he may consider you to be in a relationship already (couldn't those hook-ups be considered dates?). Unless he is paranoid about relationships or girls or love it's quite doubtful he would refuse a date or even a relationship. At this point it doesn't seem like there would be one right way to ask him out since you're pretty much together already, all that is required now is some smelling of coffee once you wake up to recognize it and accept it as something real in your life.
14/f
so my crush and i already know that we like eachother..and so today he called me at like 8 in the morning. but i didn't mind. the problem is, he's like sooooo quiet on the phone. i was shy, but I was the one to keep the conversation going...so i wasn't trying to be rude, and i asked him,"are you shy?" and he was like NO. of course not. and my friend thinks he's shy BUT I DOUBT THIS SO MUCH. he's not the type to be shy. so what do i do?? and is he really shy??
Some guys are just a lot more quiet than usual on the phone. My theory is that it's a guy thing as they aren't always talking to each other on the phone as girls often do. It doesn't mean that he's shy. It could be he likes you so he is shyer, or that he is on the phone when his family is around, I don't know for sure.
As for what you do: be courteous, keep conversations going and just talk to the guy as you normally would a friend of yours. If it does bug you that he is this phoneshy, the internet is a wonderful place and there are many other ways to have conversation. Emails may work because he would have more time to think of what to say. In general, be glad that he is calling you as this can be awkward for some guys.
I'm going to sleepaway camp for a month and a half and am leaving my boyfriend. What should i say to him? I might hook up there but i really wanna come back to him after!
Decide between your boyfriend and this camp hook-up. If you really want to keep your boyfriend you need to establish before you leave how much you care about him before you leave, and as hard as it may be, that you will stay committed while away. If he's important to you you will do this. It isn't fair to him for you to be able to have a committed relationship on his end and then hook up with whoever you want at the same time.
Think about it. How much do you really care about your boyfriend? Are you taking him for granted and keeping him around because it's convenient or do you really care about this guy? If you do have a hookup while he's not there, you don't deserve him coming back after.
ok so im 15/f and im feeling God-awful right about now. i havent had a boyfriend in a WHILE, [and yes it does ashame me to have to watch how the whole world has a partner], but thats not even the problem. i've been focusing on this one guy, who i first thought was out of my reach, but discovered there was still hope, and i thought it could really lead to something. but now its the end of the schoolyear and he confessed he wont be back next year [highschool], so i think i may have thrown a whole year away waiting for him to make the first move. i can say [but only to myself], that i honestly love him, and our being together would be the best thing, but i CANNOT bring myself to tell him that, because im such a coward. i still have 3 days left of school, and honestly, i think it would break my heart to have to see what i cant have, and then have to say goodbye. im sorry i made this a life story, but this is making me so depressed im suicidal. comments, tips, opinions??
If you're shy you don't have to go out and say "I LOVE YOU BE MY BOYFRIENNNNDDDDD!!!" or anything like that; this scares guys off a lot of the time, anyway. Try starting casual, whatever makes you comfortable. Get his number/ email, some basic contact information (his facebook/ myspace?) and keep in touch. Ask him out casually, I mean, even if he was just your friend, you'd want to hang out causally, right? Nothing to get worried about there as I'm sure you ask friends to do things with you. Then, once you have made the uninimidating steps, you can take it from there.
Everyone has a different style for how they would do this. The main thing is to just go for it, or I know you'll regret it.
I have a bf that I'm in love with and he means absolutely everything to me. I've been with him for 7 months. He's amazing to me and we get along perfectly but sometimes I just get sick of him. He gets so annoying and I never want to talk to him. I met this other guy and he's a real sweetheart and we've known each other for about a month. He's also amazing and sweet. We got to know each other more and he really likes me and I really like him. He wants to date me and everything but I have a bf that I still really love. I like both of them. I feel so horrible..I can't even believe myself. I don't know what to do. I'm so stuck. Please help me.
You are in love with your boyfriend; you like another guy. Going with the new guy is a bad idea for many reasons, plus you need time to sort this out, figure out your relationship with your bf and so on. Figure out why you are sick of him (is he abusive? ---> in this case you would break it off- do you need more space?) but I don't suggest throwing away a relationship for each amazing sweet guy that comes along. Relationships take time and you may regret it. Besides, what if you ended up doing the same to the new guy? It's just a bad habit to get into in general.
Could be you feel something missing in your current relationship. This is something you should talk to your boyfriend about.
ok well..me and my bf have been datting for 8 months almost 9. Well the last spring break we had when we were out of school.. i meet some new friends..6 of them. 3 girls.. and 3 boys. well one night all the girls were watching the guys play basketball. Well out of the blue one of them says ok..jack( not real name) I dare you to kiss Summer ( me) if I make this shot. and of course he made it. well I kinda see jack glance over at me... and im thinkinh?? is he really going to do it? then he walks over and kiss's me on the lips twice. well one night I was talking to the guy that kissed me on AIM! and he goes "Just got my braces off' and I was like " kool" he said " that way when I come back down there will be more room for your tounge" and I was thinking " o god" well I have a bestfriend who I tell EVEYTHING to well I was talking to her and Imed her the convo. showing here what I he said! well I accidentally.. semt it to my bf instead of her! and I was so.. MAD! well now.. he broke up with me.. and were back together.. but..he still cant get over it. like he will call me and when im not there he will IM me saying "YOUR PROBLEY AT THE POOL WITH JACK" and I dont even like Jack and I dont know what I can do to get his trust back any suggestions?
MUCH LOVE
Well you could try general repentance/ trying to make it up to him. Ei making cards, sending nice emails, promising to never do it again, day you're sorry, be overly nice, ect.
You could also try to spin the situation in your favor. Let's face it. Those guys were assholes. Did you ask to be kissed? No. Did you even kiss them back?
You need to explain this to your boyfriend. If you didn't kiss him back or even if you weren't looking for the kiss, it's not your fault. You were harassed by a couple of idiots and you should not feel accountable for this or ashamed. Tell your boyfriend how used you feel by these idiots and the truth, that you DON'T like Jack. That should make him feel better and hopefully he'll drop the situation.
As for those those guys... I suggest you find some new friends.
okay theres this guy i go to school with and have because well rather bestfriends with him.
yesturday i was talking to him and he said he was thinking about going out with me. ((i have liked him the whole time he's been here for 3 years.))
But the only thing is im not aloud to have a real go out on dates boyfriend(until im 16) which is what he wants. I told him about the sixteen thing and he said he would wait...he turns 16 3 days after me in december..thats 6 MONTHS!!. He wants us to talk and keep close friends and he said he wants to be my first REAL boyfriend.
But just a few months ago he said that he tells girls what they want to here to get what he wants.
The only problem is in october he was pressuring me to flash him which ended badly and we didnt talk for awhile. now he says he doesnt want to do anything with me or have me do anything to him until we are dating and he says no pressure will be put on me anymore...He also turned some really pretty girl down for sex! because of me!!!
do you think he's telling the truth and we should keep close till then or is he just telling me what i want to hear?
Well two signs for trouble: he gets girls for sex, and he asked you, a friend, to flash him. Why would he do something so disrespectful to a friend unless he had his own maturity issues?
Because you liked him for three years, I say you give him a chance, just because you may not stop liking him unless you know what being with him is like. Only if you go with this option, be extremely careful. Take things extremely slow and show him that you are not going to flash him/ be there only for physical action/ be his sex toy. Don't ever do anything you feel uncomfortable doing. Tell him that if he pressures you then it's over, and you can even get friends to help you with this one.
Wait out this one the six months and then only do what is comfortable, and what feels right. Some guys do change when they find someone who they really like and are willing to give away their... tendencies.. for. Not all but most, if they really like the girl. Remember though, while you may give your heart to him, you must always respect yourself or you will get into more awkward situations (for example, the flashing incident).
Be good to yourself and take it slow so even if he is a scumbag you can still say you stuck to what you were comfortable with. Wish you luck!
im 15 female going into 10th. grade.
okay well, i like like 2 different guys. one of htem have been my best friend since well 1st grade "Jeremy". me and Jeremy flirt all the time and he pushes me but he isnt to much of a pervert like other guys...which is weird by the way. but we dont hang out all that much during the summer :(
The other guy "Mike" has been friends with me for 3 years now. he says he wont pressure me into anything but he has once now he's telling me he'll wait to go out with me until im ready.
but when we hangout we are usually hanging on each other...we lay on my porch and talk and he will talk about just about everything and he will try to do stuff like stick his hand up my shirt and other stuff but i just kind of stop him...and we mess around alot. he tells me everything and well vise versa.
ok what do you think i should do?
go out with "Jeremy" or "mike"
Personally in general you should decide who you like in these situations.
However, in this case, if you have told Mike that you don't want to get involved with him, him even trying to get a hand under your shirt isn't being respectful at all, and in any case it is harassment and it is just plain wrong. You need to be firm and tell him this. If he can't even respect your limits as a friend, what kind of boyfriend would he make?
Go out with Jeremy if you like him. But watch out that you are not just doing it because he likes you or because you want a boyfriend in general.
ok i like this guy *bob* now we live near each other and are always with each other. we hug and kiss even snog,,..but we aren't lyk in a relationship,...he's very flirty wif other girls and i no he snogs alot of other girls too but for some reason that doesn't bother me.
My best friend is now on the verge of breaking up with her boyfriend and was talking about how she will have a flirt with *bob* nd won't think twice about her boyfriend but now what i'm worried about is if she does split up with her boyfriend and decides to flirt even more with *bob* because really he isn't my boyfriend so how do i tell her not to flirt with him or tht,...i dn't mind lyk the odd thing bein said here or there but jst not like givin him kisses and stuff
please help
x x x
You say you don't want your friend to flirt with bob... well are you truly okay with this no relationship benefits thing? You could explain the relationship to her, just what you wrote here, and that might help.
Personally I think you should rethink whatever you have with bob because it's not doing you any good; you're sacrificing your reputation and ability to have a relationship with anyone while making out with him. Whether you are ok with it or not he is using you. IF you truly are okay with it, some people do go for the whole polygamy thing, who am I to judge? I would just advise you to rethink what you have with bob because if he doesn't care enough about you to be in a relationship with you then you aren't getting much in return and you will have to face other messy situations such as this one.
i'm on iron supplements twice a day for my anemia. this is causing, yep, you guessed it- constipation! i haven't pooed in about 4 days, but i haven't had any painful cramps yet. what should i eat that has good fiber and when should i eat this? thanks!
good foods are prunes, prune juice.. and basically anything with fiber: fiber cereal, the skins of fruits, leafy green veggies in general, whole grain bread. Try to eat more veggies than refined grains (ei cake, white bread); this is good for you and it helps bowel movements. AS well, there are many over the counter fiber supplements that work and you can get these in the supplement section of a local drug store. Metamusil is a good brand and the knock off brand works just as well, only it is cheaper.
ok so i recently stated going out with this girl..it's been like two weeks. Sometimes ss well cool with me, other times she's all mardy. sometimes she says she loves me, sometimes she says she doesnt. i really like this girl but shes really beginning to get on my nerves.
urgh..
do you think she likes someone else..?
This isn't a sign that she doesn't like you or that she likes someone else... some girls are just like this. They can be confused... not to say stupid, just like their feelings shift, they have all these intense emotions and can be freaked out by them and not know what to do with them because it's like not being in control of themselves anymore. As for where you come in. You do have the right to break up with her if you really can't take it. I would stick it out for a bit but it all depends. It's not just guys that are scared of commitment, it's girls too, we just show it differently.
how do i get a guy to like me sooooooooooooooo much its like me trying to be hard to get.
There are actually so many different ways to do this; you have to find the way that works for you.
Generally you would get to know them casually at first, have conversations, decide whether you still like them once you know them. Then you could start asking them to come with you and your friends when you go places. After that you would casually ask for a get together one on one, not necessarily dinner and movie right away but whatever's comfortable.
While this is happening just be yourself, tease them a lot and get playful by say, poking them or whatever - if you are feeling more forward and it's appropriate lean into them a bit. Don't be afraid to be silly because that's where the flirting can come in, generally with teasing playfully and that sort of thing. IF you want to do the hard to get thing, catch a guy's eye from across the room and quickly look away... though this works only if the guy is more outgoing and or aggressive and already interested in you. In that case you would just tease him a bit, like if he asked you out you would comment on how busy you were. Personally I find the hard to get thing obnoxious for the two people involved and feel it takes the power away from the woman but others swear by it so it's really up to you. The above advice was how I would do it. Wish you luck! =]
I have found myself in a really bad situation.
One of my best boy mates (lets call him P) really, really fancies me. I don't feel the same way about him, but I know that he's liked me the whole three years I've known him.
I'm in love with G, who unfortunately, happens to be P's best mate. G is the most amazing person I've ever met and he's what I look forward to first thing in the morning. He means more to me than anyone and if anyone ever tries to hurt him, I will never forgive them.
P, who is bisexual, also slightly fancies G, but G doesn't know this, and P fancies me a lot more.
G, however, has a girlfriend (lets call her L). On their myspace profiles, they both say they're in love with each other, but no matter how in love they are, I can still feel that me and G have a connection.
Before G started dating L, I thought he fancied me, and he says I'm hot, and everyone else has quite recently said he thinks I'm hot.
G and L's relationship is long distance, so is very hard for them and might not last that long.
The other day, me, G and P were all at a party. Me and G were in a room alone, sitting next to each other, when he poked my leg. I poked his leg, he looked shocked for a moment and then looked into my eyes. I gave him a flirty look. Then we just sat there looking at each other and he smiled. Then suddenly P walked in and G quickly walked away.
I really feel something there between me and G. I'm worried that if he and L did split up, and G did like me, he still wouldn't go out with me because P's one of his best friends and he knows how much P likes me.
What should I do?
I know G and L might not split up and G might not even like me, but I'm saying if that did happen, and what should I do right now?
Right now you shouldn't allow yourself to get hung up over G since doing so could put you in a sticky situation (he has a girlfriend) and because it will cloud your vision from all the other great guys that you may also like. Now you need to focus on life, not on G. By life I mean that whole self development thing... what do you like to do? Do you have any goals and how can you achieve them? And all that other fun stuff. Or do whatever you want that will distract you from someone who is taken. Don't feel like you should like P just because he likes you.
If G and L did split up, as a friend it would be your job to console G if he needs consoling. Read, consoling. If you still liked him you would casually approach the situation from that angle a bit later, when G got over L.
But yes. Don't obsess over this. Even if G likes you currently, there's not much you can do that will actually work for either of you. Hang tight and focus on other things.
This is really long, But Im desprette So please listen.
So one night I had my two friends Sleepover danielle and Carly. Things were going great until i brought up my Crush Me and Jenna went to the same school and Danielle went to a different one. I showed Danielle pictures of him and everything. I never actually talked to my crush ( James ) but i Knew carly was really good friends with him so I asked her to introduce us online. So things were going amazing we were talking and really getting along. Then Danielle says she is going to talk to him on my other computer when we are all ready to go to bed she tells me she is in love with him. And i start getting pretty mad.
So days go on and She starts really getting To Know james, They are constantly texting and On the phone with eachother while i am trying to get closer to James.
So the other day i was like Danielle, We are both in love with James so lets just make a promise not to tell him how we feel or anything, Lets all just be best friends and nothing more and we will never tell him how we feel.
So then Like a day after that Danielle Goes and tells him she likes him. And he says he wants to get to know her first so i get pretty mad.
But today, I am talking to Carly when she goes I gg James and Danielle are coming over. And i was like so pissed off because Carly was nice all through my tough time she knew how much i LOVED James and how mean Danielle was acting and Yet she does this to me. I try talking to her about it but she got so mad at me She was like I would have you over too but i forgot and I got upset So the more Upset i got the More mad she got. ANd then she sends this to Danielle adn Danielle is flipping out on me and they are all ganging up on me.
I cant help it i m gettin so jelouse and i told them Now James is gonna get to know Danielle and He is gonna like her. And I am so upset I have been crying over this all day.
I just really need help. Sry its so long
Before you jump to the conclusion that your friends are being evil, mean, people, consider a few things. First of all, your friends knew that you liked James before you even talked to him, before you even knew him, and before (most important of all) he knew you. Although it's not tactful to go after a guy your friend likes, he's still fair game. If Danielle genuinely likes James then she has a right to do that, I mean, you can't help liking someone. If both of you end up falling for the same guy for you to claim that only you can be the one who ends up with him is unfair to Danielle, even if you did realize you liked him first.
Now consider that while you are completely upset over the fact that James is going to like Danielle, also consider that he turned her down. He doesn't like her! As much as you are upset over the fact that Danielle has this huge shot at getting James, she doesn't. She still knows him (even after spending the day with her) just about as well as you do.
Also think that maybe all of you could be overreacting. Both you and Danielle just met James and claim you are in love... you barely know the guy! One thing that really turns guys, and people off in general, is when others come on saying that they are in love and want to be together suddenly and out of the blue. In terms of how this affects you... why is James so important to you? Is it possible it matters more to you that you get James because your friend likes him? Is it possible that you are upset because of your friends ganging up on you more than anything?
Now for the whole point of this website: my advice. First of all stop crying. It's not worth it. Take a chunk of time to focus on what makes you happy... this being something that doesn't have to do with a boy. Honestly? You're so much better than this. If it's truly him you're crying about he doesn't deserve your tears.
Second. Though you don't necessarily have to apologize, don't overreact to your friends. Yes, they really should have handled the situation better than defiantly going after a guy that you did say you liked just previously, but at this point overreacting can and will make the situation worse. The more you act like you are cool with the idea of James coming over and even with Danielle liking him (you don't have to actually be cool with it but support her feelings, even if you don't agree with them... you're in the same situation, right?), the more Carly will introduce him to you. Remember, also, that your friends are the most important thing. You have your friends, you don't have the guy. Overreacting could cause you to damage relationships with both. If it helps, just don't talk about James to Danielle at all, tell her not to bring it up, and focus on other reasons why you two are friends. Do something girl related, like go to the mall or whatever, just don't let a guy come between you.
On getting James. You don't need your friends to get to know him. Talk to him casually online and maybe suggest a casual meeting. Don't go up to him and say "I LOVE YOUUUUU!!" because that will scare him away. You in fact have more of a chance than Danielle, in some ways, because around her he will be on his guard.
more advice: stop crying! this will pass, I promise. Just try to stay cool. Tell your friends why them leaving you out upsets you, but I have a feeling that more fighting/getting upset over James will do more harm than good at this point.