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Please Help?
I'm a 16 year old female and I have been dating a boy for about 3 years, we are very close and really care about each other. We are also about to move in together in a few months. But i also have this other guy he was my first love and i dont think we ever truly let go of one another. The other weekend he and i went camping with some friends and we got alot closer it feels as though we rekindle that old flame. I love my current boyfriend alot and dont want to lose or hurt him but when im with this other boy i feel that same love for him.
What should i do?
Someone please help.
Signed,
Confused Heart
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Do you really still like your first love or are you more worried because you're about to move in with your boyfriend? There must be some reason you were with this boy of yours for three years and not your "first love" and I would think seriously about this before you consider doing anything that could potentially hurt your relationship. It could be that while you still want to be with your guy of three years you aren't ready for the living together step.
Either way, being confused as you are, it might help if you did something alone that would clear your head. You were what, 13, when you found your first flame? You're still young and have your whole life ahead of you.
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You'll always have feelings for your first love, it's nearly impossible not to. But are you sure it's the same feelings you felt for him when you dated? It could be a diffent kind of love you are feeling for him. Are you sure this boy still has feelings for you as well? If he doesn't, then what's the point in getting your hopes up? I'm sure you are a smart girl, so ask yourself: do you honestly think there is a chance this old relationship will start up again after one night? Or that this guy has feelings for you in any kind of relationship sort of way?
Did you cheat on your current boyfriend? Do you regret what you did? If so you need to tell him. If you love him it's not fair to either of you to keep this from him. I'm sure you love your boyfriend, you've been dating for THREE YEARS, and that's a long time to stay with someone you are questioning. Think long and hard about the situation you are in, and decide who you want to be with. You obviously know you can't have both, so choose which one you can see yourself with 10, 15, or even 20 years from now. I think you'll make the right decision.
I trust that you'll talk to your boyfriend about the situation you are in, because secrets always have a way of coming out. To end this on a very serious note, be careful who you have sexual relationships with. Even if you think the area you are in is STD safe, you could be wrong. Always use protection and common sense.
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Your first love is always really special, it's something you'll never forget. Which is why your feeling this towards him. You first have to find out whether your ex feels the same way you do, and whether he wants a relationship and its not jsut old feels rising to the surface that are quickly going ot be forgotten again. But you've got to ask yourself: is it really worth throwing away your current relationship on the hopes that you'll rekindle the feelings you both had? It's as simple as that, if you feel that it is worth the risk then you have to trust your feeling and go for it. But if not, if your not sure that you want to risk what you've got then you have your answer.
you've jsut got to trust yourself.
Hope i helped.
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This is a complicated situation to be in, but which one do you care most about?
if you think you have something special with your current boyfriend, then is actually worth throwing it away?
if i was in your place, i would try to find out if your old boyfriend really does care for you or not? because you don't want to end up in a situation where you leave your current boyfriend for the old one, and the old one doesn't want you back, and you'll be on your own.
-but if you are close with your current boyfriend try discussing your feeling with him, you do need to be honest, but before you do it would be a good idea to think with both your heart and mind.
if this doesnt help, just make a list of good and bad qualities of each guy, and see if that can help you decide.
i hope this helps but just think who will you be most happy with you, there is a saying 'you should love the one who loves you, not the one you love'. good luck though, this is a tough question to answer, but i wish you all the best.
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ask yourself if it's worth the risk. what happened with you and your first love ? why did it end ? think about it. you got a good thing going right now. if i were you, i wouldn't ruin it, but it's up to you to decide if your first love is worth what you have now.
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