E-mail:
Snad73@yahoo.comLocation:
Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia.Occupation:
Student.Age:
17Member Since:
October 10, 2012Answers:
86Last Update:
December 19, 2013Visitors:
6554Favorite Columnists
solidadvice4teens
yoursfriend
Main Categories:
Mental health
Work/School Relationships
Spirituality
View All
about
Hi, I'm Sabrina and I'll try my best to give the community here the utmost advice :) If there are certain mistakes involving the way I convey the words, do pardon me. "If something is normal doesn't mean we have to accept it."
"Either you run the day, or the day runs you."
All the best in your future endeavours :)
advice
My friend committed suicide almost two years ago and I still feel guilty. I am in my senior year of college and I do not want to graduate and I feel guilty whenever I do anything enjoyable that she did not get to do (she died in the middle of her senior year). I feel like I am partly responsible for her death and I do not want to do the things she couldn't. I do not think she would be angry with me now but I still cannot get past the feeling of being partially responsible for what happened. I miss her terribly and I feel like I have not really made any progress in grieving for her, and I'm not sure what to do from here because at this point I feel stuck. Any ideas or support will be helpful because I feel really alone in this, so thank you in advance for your response.
First and foremost , my response to your question will be rather frank so please be open-minded when reading it . From what i've read , the matter which lead to this problem is not the suicide of your friend , but you alone . It's all about how you manoeuvre your feelings and manage the way you live . I'm sure that your heart is filled with agony , hurt and regret right after she committed suicide but you need to acknowledge the fact that she's gone . Ask yourself - For how long are you going to let this feeling of guilt last ? Are you really going to accept the role of being caretaker of that resentment for the rest of your life ?
She's not there anymore for you to seek forgiveness from her , and you've been feeling guilty for a long time now . Maybe it's time for you to forgive yourself now as a gift to your own heart and you're worth whatever it takes to rise above that pain and hurt . Bear in mind that your friend was the one who took the choice to end her life in the way she wanted , and she's already gone . You can grieve , that's normal and it will take a while . Remember her smile , the good times you had together and cherish the moments but not for too long . When it's time to let go , you need to let go no matter what . Pray to God for her happiness in her resting place .
The thing is , the longer you let her death and your guilt or resentment affect the way you live , the more monumental your problem will be , Believe me . Now , the one to save is you . The one to release from the emotional prison is you . When it comes to this , you need to prioritise yourself and take care of the delicate soul too . You've the right to graduate and pursue your career . Think about it . You deserve to live your life to the fullest even after the occurrence of her death and i would wager that she too , will be happy for you when you're happy .
Grieve , accept , pray , move on , decide what you want and work for it but don't forget to have fun and be jubilant . Please , be strong and face the ordeal with yourself , honestly . The life you're managing is your own . The emotional life , the social life , the spiritual life , the physical life that you're managing : all of it is your own . Manage it with purpose , and manage it with knowledge . You make the choices that create your emotional state . Make them in an informed , purposeful way and you'll have what you want .
You can do it .
What do you do when you're in love with someone so much that you you don't ever want to loose them. When you know they can be happier with someone else but they choose you. But when they choose you they choose you with tears in thier eyes. Because they know they could of been happier with someone else but they still choose you. And then you feel as of the whole world has fallen on top of you. Because he chose you with tears in his eyes and not joy. But that person tells you they love you. and you feel as if it's true. That person tells you they will change even tho they have told you that since the beggining. Even tho you've been together for over a year. But yet you still belive them. Even tho they been cheating on you since the start, more then once with multiple different people. Where they got to the point of even having sex. But you still see threw all those flaws and mistakes because you love them. What do you do, when they've hurt you so much even tho you don't deserve it, because you've been faithful to them since the start, because you know you've tried your hardest.. What do you do? Do you let them go to be with someone else.. or do you belive they will change and hopefully start fresh? :'( please help... I'm 17 years old female
Sometimes in life , you need to make certain sacrifices for your own happiness that you deserve . Open your eyes wide and reminisce on what has taken place in your relationship . You've been together with him for over a year , and i could tell that you've been crying at the same time too . I'm not trying to humiliate your boyfriend or whatsoever but it's pointless to be with him . I advise you to let him be with someone else .
You've been loyal to him but he's taking you for granted and you gave him numerous chances to change . Did he try to strengthen the relationship ? No . Did he change ? Negative . Also , when it comes to love , both partners need to commit to it . If one of them acts as if he couldn't care less and doesn't appreciate his partner any longer , then his girlfriend needs to put on her goodbye shoes quick .
You see , what i meant by making sacrifices for yourself is leaving him for your own sunrise . Your own rainbow which you've not seen in ages and you deserve it . You've been in the storm for too long , don't you want to be happy again ? Let him go . It might hurt your heart at first , but you'll never regret it . One day , you'll meet the perfect man who'll be loyal to you , just like you . It's just a matter of time but believe me , you will meet the one . Even if you hope that he'll change , it will be useless if he still doesn't .
Have the courage to break the bond with him because you possess the right to not be taken granted anymore . At times like these , the one and only rule is this - be very , very gentle with yourself . It's going to be difficult to get through this period , but you'll make it and don't be bittered too much because of him . He envenomed the relationship . You can be sad , but allow yourself to hope . You can mourn , but allow yourself to laugh .
Well okay.. i was dating this guy 4 over a year. V belonged 2 different religions 2 begin with.. and he had lots of other issues. I thought i was in love and i was blind 2 some extent.. But he was into me madly. When things weren't working I tried 2 ditch him which resulted in him cutting himself.. I met another guy.. fell actually in love and moved on.. But his mom died and i left him within 6 months of that mishap. Somewhere down i feel guilty as he is still no over me. Should I apologize ?? :(
It's your choice to whether apologise to him or otherwise but to me , even if you do , things will not change to the way they were . Still , you could give him comforting words regarding his mother's death . Bear in mind that you've actually made a choice to leave him for your happiness , and you've moved on and if your previous boyfriend truly loves you , he'll too be happy for you without interfering in your new tie with a better man . The only person who can change his attitude or himself is , him . No one else so don't burden your emotions with his inner turmoils . Again , like i said , you can still give him words of comfort and strength and eventually , he'll move on . He will , sooner or later . As for you , you did what you thought you needed to do , so don't worry too much and cherish the current relationship you have .
Okay m a 18 year old gal.. Everything in my life is falling apart.. !! My parents have grounded me.. taken away all my freedom.. which includes my cell being confiscated and i cant even go to college alone. All this crap has taken a toll on my relationship.. i really love this guy but m afraid because of my restrictions he might leave me.. I juz wanna die.. Wanna know ways how to do dat since m crying all he time asking god to take my life.. What are the best ways to die ??
Hold on for a while now . Take a deep , deep breath and grasp yourself and sorry , i won't share the methods for you to die gracefully or commit a suicide because to me , every person is special and one is delivered forth to this world for a purpose and you are included . Do believe that everything happens for a reason . People change so that you can learn to let go , things go wrong so that you appreciate them when they're right , you believe lies so you eventually learn to trust no one but yourself , and sometimes good things fall apart so better things can fall together.
I'm absolutely sure that your parents are grounding you with supporting evidences because of the fact they love you , and they want their beautiful daughter to learn from her mistakes so that she'll become more dignified . Perceive all of these ordeals as experiences to make you a stronger person because life's never always about excitement and joy and when a problem arises , deal with it instead of making an escapade .
Problems are temporary , and even the most successful person has endured the most excruciating , painful problems in his life which simultaneously means that you too , can eliminate the maelstrom within . Please , don't give up yet you're still too young . You only have one chance of life , and some people are fighting for their lives the best way they can . 'Our greatest weakness lies in giving up. The most certain way to succeed is always to try just one more time.' Remember , problems are always there but the good thing is , they're also always temporary and to every of them , there's a solution .
Regarding your boyfriend , don't be afraid . Don't depend on him to give you full happiness because happiness is created within you and don't be afraid of what's not happening yet . He'll bear anything to be with you , and even if he leaves , be strong as it denotes that God is reserving you for a better person . I'm telling you the truth , so please be strong for now and forever . Instead of praying to God to take your life away , pray to Him to give you strength , hope and success or guidance as long as you work for it .
Stop crying now , you're already special and life may give you difficulties now , but certainly it will grant you happiness later . Please , be strong , be strong , BE STRONG and find solutions to your problems . You can go through this with courage . Be patient :)
i am 13 yrs old,i am a girl. i am in bombay and i have a friend his name was ranjith we are just a frirnd. but one day he proposed me. since i liked him acepted it.once he gave me a gift inside there was condom.he asked me shall we have a sex.i am intrested to have sex with him.but i don't know what are the effect of having sex in 13. so i am confused.i need advise
Hello there . I may be only three years older than you , but here's my advise . First off , exterminate the confusion in your mind and think of the best choice for your own sake . Either you want to have sex with him or you don't , the choice is yours so decide what's best . You're still 13 sweetie , don't you wanna keep the virginity for a special man who truly deserves it in the future ? It's worth the wait :) How would your parents feel if they know that their loved daughter has had sex with the fact that she is still too young for one ? Think about it .
For now , i really , really suggest you to turn down his 'request' nicely and pursue other matters in life because there's still so much more to it . You may be interested in having an intercourse with him , but you also need to realise that life's not about mere trying . There are some things that you can try , but there are also other things which you can't try just yet . Like i said , you're 13 , and I'm not trying to say that you're too young for everything , but this is the age for you to gain as much knowledge as you can and ensure a bright future ahead . This is your golden age , and the virginity you've now is your pearl , or like some of others say , your dignity . Sorry for saying this , but you need to think of this also which is , what if you and Ranjith get addicted to sex ? How'll both of you react to it ? Teen sex may take emotional toll you see . The thing is , let Ranjith know that he has to wait and if he's really in love with you , he'll respect your decision and wait for you . At this moment , think of the best for both of you and think wisely :))
Well, I feel like I have no real friends. I do have this one friend ''fernanda'', we go out and have fun and laugh and stuff, but that's about it. I have tons of friends on facebook, but I don't know most of them in person, all I see are pictures of them having a good time together and just...happy. Something I haven't been for a very long time, see, I'm very insecure...sometimes I feel like I'm just not worth it, and well my story is much longer than what most of you would be willing to read, so let me just cut to the chase and ask you guys...what should I do? I'm not even sure what I'm asking here, it's christmas and I'm looking at all these pictures on facebook of people having fun with their friends, and I'm here at home, nobody called me, nobody cares about me...sometimes I feel jealous of these people, I wish I could be with them and have what they have...happiness, fun, friends... I think I'm a pathetic loser...sometimes I think I don't deserve love, or friends, or any of that for some reason, or maybe my personality just sucks. I'm interested in things like philosophy, history, languages and all that...I just can never find someone to talk with me about that, but at this point I don't care...I just wish I had friends. What should I do? I feel very sad and often cry a lot cuz I think my teenage is passing by and I'm not enjoying it...life is passing by and I can't move on because I feel like a part of it is missing, like something I never had...and maybe never will.
What i'm going to convey may or may not help you but i'll try my best . Firstly , you need to deal with the feeling of insecurity and your true personality . When you're stating something regarding who you are , make sure that there're evidences supporting what you've stated . You might feel worthiless , but is it 100 % true ? Deal with your battles within , and make sure you're controlling your emotions because perceptions conquer thoughts , and thoughts reign the actions . You're 19 , and you still have a lot of chances to have friends arounds you , supporting your life and they may appear from any walks of life but sometimes , to have one or more friends around you , it needs you to be the great friend first . For instance , you could use Facebook and give words of kindness when people need it , and it doesn't matter who they are as long as you've respect . If you do it often , maybe some of your Facebook friends will chat with you , and then you can use the chance you possess to be closer to them , and understand their stories and make friends . Still , don't compare yourself to people . In this world , all men are made equal , and no matter how happy people may seem , they still have their own stories to tell , and maybe very , very painful ones . You too , deserve to be happy just the way you are ! You're feeling lonely not because of the fact that you're friendless , but it's because you're lacking the presence of someone to share almost anything with including your interests , tears , laughter and so on . Don't worry , you'll meet that someone believe me but you need patience as it takes time . Think of the brightside . Your passion towards philosophy , languages and so on is what makes you special , different from others ! Be independent for now , and try being with your family more or be closer with your religion or , consume your time doing the things you love . Gain strength and be motivated . You are the cure to your depression , believe me and , live your life to the fullest . Make a bucketlist and complete yourself . Please , stop crying now :) look around you . Stop crying , listen to inspirational songs and be friendly towards everyone . Just as an additional info , you could email me just about anything . I'd be happy to help you out . Smile now :))
I lost the only thing that matters to me my girlfriend and feel like i want end my life cause i can not live without her my heads confused i feel horrible inside and i can't help but want end it to make things better for everyone
Honestly , the solution to this problem is you alone . Believe me when i tell you that if you don't step up and fight for you , no one else will . You were delivered to this world for a purpose . I'm very sure that you love your girlfriend and so on but you need to prioritise yourself first . Whatever that's taking place right now has a reason , a silver lining behind it so you can't fall and break down just yet . Look , you're a man , and depend on yourself to have happiness because this is your life . There's more to it but for now , concentrate on the present . If you've lost your girl , try your best to move on and stay strong . Let go of the past , let go . Heartache is not an uncommon matter , i know . As a rose cannot live without the rain , so can't a heart love without the risk of pain and that's why you need to eliminate suicidal thoughts and make a change for yourself . Change on how you perceive yourself , your family , fates and more and it's never too late . The thing is , if you don't stand up now , you'll affect your future too , so make a change . It has the power to heal , to uplift , to stimulate , surprise , open new doors , bring fresh experience and create excitement in life . It's worth the risk right ? Also , don't listen to your inner voices of sadness and pessimism . Either you get motivated , or be miserable and you've the choice . Please , think about yourself too . You deserve a right to live happily , don't let people affect who you are . Motivate yourself now , and again , let go of the history . Are you willing to be in this state for another few weeks ? I doubt so . Stand up , rinse away the tears and plan on how to make a better tomorrow . Remember , it takes only you to be happy and do appreciate life . Make experiences as a platform for you to be more concrete and stronger . You can do it ! Plan , plan , plan and work the plan the best way you can and believe that you can live and be happy too . It's true :)
I have been dating my girlfriend for 5 months and she had asked me to move in with her. Everything is great with her but her friend and her boyfriend live with us and needless to say her friend is driving me nuts. She gets mad at everything and recently called me yelling and screaming because I had to leave early in a rush to spend Christmas with my family and i did not have time to clean the house. But the problem is her and her boyfriend are so bad to live with me and my girlfriend do not even go out anywhere in the house we always stay in our room so I do not be leave I should clean a house I don't even get to use. They are driving me up a wall but I don't know what to do because if I move it's going to hurt me and my girlfriend but if I stay this girl is going to drive me nuts.
Truthfully , if your girlfriend's best friend and boyfriend are really that unpleasant and don't seem to understand the situation your girlfriend and you are trying to live in , then the problem's big enough . If you feel that they don't respect you , communicate with them in a concerned manner that shows a genuine desire to improve circumstances for all of you . Try approaching your girl's best friend or her boyfriend and let them know that you've moved in to not cause any trouble , and that you deserve some respect in a friendly way . Ask them if there's anything bothering them about you guys but please be patient with them . If one of them starts to raise his or her tone , control your anger . Show them that they've no power to change you and keep your head up . Be willing enough to enjoy the house too and do the things you love , so don't let them influence you at all . The thing is , talk to them and earn your rights . Let people do and say whatever they want to you , but don't follow their footsteps . Again , enjoy the house with your girlfriend . You guys deserve to be happy too man . However , if you see no signs of them changing and you've done everything you can , then just let them be . What goes around comes around anyway so keep your composure :) Stay away from them , not the house if that's the choice . Be patient , be patient .
I'm 16 and a female half of the time my friends feel fake af but then sometimes they feel like there so real like i feel like how could i ever think they are fake. i even feel like legit my bestfriend. my bestfriend from kindergarden is fake. like we are legit best friends like the weird shit you do at home by yourself we do in front of each other like bro were best friends. and I'm the type of person who would so leave that situation if i can. but i can't. because there the realist anyone will ever get. and its a struggle i don't want to go through this for the rest of high school and wait for college. and everyone already has here groups. like i can't meet new people but no they have there bestfriend like I'm stuck like this. i promise you don't write meet new people if your going to reply to this :/ i feel stuck i don't know what to do. and my love life is terrible i have no one. i don't want to look back at my child hood and remember how sad i was.
Firstly , sorry for the late reply and do cheer up . Adversity in life is unavoidable and there's always a reason behind everything that is occurring , so please escape yourself from the feeling of not knowing what to do when something unpleasant befalls you . If God brings you to it regardless how painful it is , He'll bring you through it . The thing is , you and I , in fact anyone at all need to realise that not every friend we have is true and recognise who's being the fake one . 'A friend is someone we turn to when our spirits need a lift.
A friend is someone we treasure for our friendship is a gift.
A friend is someone who fills our lives with beauty, joy and grace.
And makes the world we live in a better and happier place. ' Who actually matters is the one who'll always be there for you when you need a listening and a comforting ear but at the same time , you too need to be a great friend first . Honestly , being independent these days is much more better than being with friends or people who'll leave you alone when you're in the storm , but'll always be there when you shine . It's okay , you will get through this but be patient . Try thinking about what you can do to be a real friend , then apply the thoughts and harvest the flowers of your actions . Another thing , don't put your key to happiness in someone else's pocket and don't assume that you're worthless without your friends , because you're already worthy and unique yourself . I can see that you're struggling to overcome this matter , but it takes courage and strength to endure it . Look , this advice applies to every calamity that's taking place inside of you . Recognise that you have the courage within you to fulfill the purpose of your birth . Summon forth the inner power of your inner courage and live the life of your dreams . Don't be bittered because of friends , or having fake friends around you because very little is needed to make a happy life ; it's all within yourself , in a way of thinking and life is never always about joy and excitement . Also , Meet new people :P and be friendly to everyone . You'll lose nothing at all plus friends may appear from just anywhere at all . The thing is , try strengthening the ties with your current friends by being there , being nicer and so on and see if what you do pays off . Try talking to your best friends more and understand them , and their life . Have fun with them and do avoid judgements . They have their own story to tell too right ? Still , help yourself first and stand up . Beautify yourself more . All the best :)
okay so im 16 and a female im not looking for love but i want someone in my life like even if the guy is a player i know that sounds bad but I'm actually not an ugly girl not to be cocky. like everyone i know had someone to talk to they always even say oh who should i talk to next. because everyone always wants someone to care for them or talk to them to make them feel good. like i never get that i don;t know what I'm doing wrong like a lot of people know me in school its just i guess know one has interest in talking to me. i feel lonely. i feel sometimes its always going to be like this and if anything i finally marry someone i don't even love because i want to be married. but i don't want to wait for the future what about now i can't wait an longer is boring and lonely and sad and a waste of life. i really want someone. I'm confused. sometimes i feel like why am i in this world. I'm not suicidal of coarse ahha but i feel like nothing goes on in my life besides getting drunk and getting in trouble with my parents. i have okay grades like nothing exciting is in my life i feel like i do nothing in this world and mean nothing in this world I'm just someones friend. like no one important and it hurts. i don't know whats wrong with me like i just want someone who cares for me. and i don't know what to do anymore and i hate when people say someone one will come. like no what about now i want my life to mean something now in my child hood.
I understand what you're going through and i know how hard, difficult and happiness-corroding it is but don't worry, you're never alone and to every problem, there's always a solution. If you have time, find a great place for you to relax and take a deep, deep breath and experience the world for a moment. Eliminate the stress or resentment you're enduring and try figuring out the core of the problem. The thing is, you can create your own happiness but you also can create your own sadness and the feeling of hurt inside your fragile heart. You're still 16 and there're still chances to get friends out there but have you ever realized that everyone is longing for one true friend too ? Yes, you might witness some of the people around you with at least a dozen contacts in their phone but that doesn't mean that they have the one friend they've always been wanting. Every person has a story to tell. A listening, comforting and fulfilling friend is hard to find these days but you can always get one and sometimes, to get one requires you being the great friend first. Have you tried being there for your friends and listen to whatever they've to say ? Comfort them and be the eraser to their tears. They'll remember you, believe me although you might not expect it. It takes time for this so please, please be patient and in the meantime, be friendly to everyone and be good in communicating. Sooner or later, one of your friends or the people surrounding you'll become closer .. And closer to you. Don't be sad now, there's still more to life ! Make a bucketlist and try achieving your goals one by one. Remember, even one day of your life cannot be let go if nothing special has been accomplished so appreciate every moment, even now. You are the key to the solution, and you will heal but it only takes you, and YOU to beautify your life because you're already beautiful ! Like i said, be patient and be patient. Try developing more skills and make yourself more unique compared to others. Acquire more abilities to complete yourself but don't forget your spiritual needs. Be motivated always ! Think from the positive side, and don't cry. If you search at the right place, you'll get the right person. Don't just sit and wait, work yourself towards it. If you need anything else, i'd be glad to assist you as a friend anytime :) Be motivated and love yourself too.
I have to admit, I'm very emotional. However, I get extremely scared when someone gets angry and do my best to please whoever is angry, even if I'm not at fault. I'm also extremely afraid when people hate me. I might not be at fault but...I just feel so upset and afraid. What should I do? Should I learn to let go? How?:( Thanks.
You can admit anything at all in this site so don't worry and just let it all out :) Dude, what i can say is you need to become stronger emotionally, right from the heart. There is no doubt that it's sometimes difficult facing people who're tempestuous but still, if you keep on blaming yourself for what you don't commit, you're going to lose yourself in the future so it's very important to change now. Right from this moment. Think about it. Maybe, deep deep down inside, this has something to do with your history. Ask yourself, did anyone in the past ever treated you badly or rejected you so bad or overlooked your innocence in life ? If the answer's yes, then you need to let go and change your perceptions towards the real world. From what i've read, i do believe that you're fearing rejection and at the same time, wanting acceptance from everyone including the people who don't seem to understand what you're trying to do. Don't worry now, try changing some parts of yourself but one thing which is really, really necessary for you is strength. Life is tough, and facing ordeals is one of the essences of it and you need to prepare yourself to face more challenges. The person you need the most to stand up is you alone. Try being less emotional and be happy, have gratitude. Be willing to change yourself now and be consistent in it because if you don't, you might stumble and it will be a lot harder to catch the pace. Love and respect yourself too ! Let the people say whatever they want to, but if you're totally confident that you're innocent and there are solid evidences supporting you, then don't worry. Allow yourself to be right. This is not a small matter, well at least not to me. This is about you and whatever you do now, the way you perceive the world and so on will affect your future. Let go of the past because the past has already left you. Your past doesn't need to be the same as the future right ? :) Hope, pray and give your effort. Remember, this is for your own good and believe me, you'll thank yourself one day for making a change but don't ever, ever give up. Start talking positively and turn down the Negative Command Centre (Voices of weakness and self-blame). When life gives you lemons, squeeze them and make lemonade. Hold on to righteous beliefs which can guide you. You can do this, believe in yourself. No one is ever perfect, so try changing yourself slowly and slowly but continously at least. All the best :)
how can i change the way i talk?
What kind of dresses i should wear?
How should my attitude be?
How can i make others find m high fy?
How to mix up with people?
How do i become friendly with everyone?
I agree a lot with yoursfriend . You see , we humans are like droplets of water in the vast oceans but amazingly , some of the droplets sparkle ! And you , are different from others and unique in your very own way so don't change yourself to please others except if you want to change yourself in a positive way which can eventually strengthen your dignity. One thing you need to realise is , it's not easy to find true friends . Having 100 friends around you doesn't mean that all of them will be willing to listen to your tears . Don't worry , be yourself in a well-mannered or a cool way . Honestly , if you think that you're somewhat annoying , find solid evidences for that statement first . You might lose your self-esteem so always , always be positive and be realistic . Regarding the dresses , it's up to you as long as you're being the real you . One way that works well is , smile to everyone . Automatically , most of them will smile back at you and to be friendly , you need to be kind to everyone . Don't judge anyone , remember that and if people around you cannot accept who you are no matter how much you have tried , then that's their problem . The thing is , be good in communicating with people . Smiling is the best cure and it will always be :) If you're in a friendship with someone or more , be a great listener and comfort your friends . Respect them and respect yourself too . Be able to be alone , be independent . Time will help you if you keep on trying to produce more positive surroundings and change yourself for your own good , not because of the people . You are already special in this world , believe me so don't lose yourself ! No matter how old you are , examine yourself first and try to make alterations if needed . Love yourself for who you are and all the best :) Don't be shy .
my mum never cares about me she pretends i'm not there and she only cares about my brother so i ran away all the way to the big shops i walked home again and my mum was on the computer what do i do
First of all, don't you ever, ever run away from your home again. That's your home too and it should be filled with love and sweetness from the family but unfortunately, you're not getting the attention you deserve from your own mother (based on what you've written. I don't know about everything going on over there and i need to know your mother too to get deep in this matter and i'm not trying to humiliate you or her.) To be honest with you, i can't even tell the real cause of this mess because the answer varies, it really does. What i can say is, this problem is not a small matter and you need to get help from the people around you i.e friends, counsellors, teachers and so on. Get help from the people whom you can trust and are able to guide you in this life. Anyway, you can try talking to your mother but remember, do respect her because she's your mother. Try asking her for honest answers about what's actually going on between the both of you but when doing this, please be strong because the answers might hurt you. However, i do believe that your relationship with her can flourish eventually. Help her if she needs it. Be there for her. Still, if she still doesn't care about you for a long period of time, then it's time for you to solidify yourself. YOU NEED TO HELP YOURSELF IN THIS WITH FULL COURAGE but please be on the right side of the track. One day, if God permits it, she'll realise her mistakes. In the meantime, keep control of yourself, please do. Listen to me, no one (including your parents) can break you down into someone who's filled with negative emotions. It's never easy to change someone's attitude towards you and that's why you need to face challenges in life. Pray for the best in your life and yes, be close to helpful friends. They'll help you. Remember, the future is so abstract that no one can predict whether your mother will change completely or not, but i do hope she will because from what i believe in, no mother dislikes her own child. Keep control of yourself and learn from life. See and observe on what's going on. Hope for the best :)
I recently got out of a long distance relationship with my first love. Our relationship was more open because we felt it would put a strain on things since we live like 9 hours away. So basically she got a gf. I was suspicious but ignored it until I couldn't take it anymore and asked her about it.
Long story short, I'm heart broken. I spent a few days bawling my eyes out, and then am going through a stage of "Idc & as long as she's happy." But to be honest, I'm jealous, I'm hurt.
How do I get over her? How longis it going to take for it not to hurt anymore?
Firstly , take a deep , deep breath and calm down for a moment . You see , although she's your very first love , everything in this world happens for a reason . It's okay to be jealous and it's okay to be hurt and it's also okay for you to cry a lot for now because these feelings are inevitable but remember , only for now . Don't break down forever because she's not worth your tears and so on . your time is precious , so precious that you cannot waste it on anyone who doesn't realise that you are too . Take this fate as an experience to make you a stronger person and you will heal . Believe me . To be honest , it takes a certain amount of time to get over your loved one and move on . The thing is , you need to let her go for your own good and hope or pray that things'll get better because they will . For now , try your best to motivate yourself . I am sure that you were once a jubilant or a happy person , but somehow you changed yourself towards sadness because of this girl . Please , don't let yourself go . You deserve to be happy and stand up . Again , motivate yourself and assure that behind every ordeal , there's an endowment and behind every hardship , there's relief and behind every trial , there is happiness but it all depends on you . How would you manage yourself in a situation like this from now on ? One thing about this life is that you can have new chances i.e better relationship or more and that's why you must let her go . Remember , you deserve to be happy too and in fact , much more happier than she is if you know the right method . Consume your time with your friends , family or the neighbours and do the things you absolutely love and love every moment of your life . Live it to the fullest . Time will heal , it will . Seize the bitter seconds of your life and rise beyond the pain . You can also express everything in a secret journal but you need to be honest with yourself . Face the heartbreak now , but prepare yourself to embrace the happiness in the future . Hope for the best and don't let yourself down anymore okay ? Be smart and wise in managing your heart . Stand up now . You can go through this eventually trust me :)
I have a bf who I have been with for two weeks and three days.He hurt me before we started dating.He had started dating his bff,then didn't tell me,and wouldn't talk to me at all.Then when they broke up,he asked me out,and I said yes.But he recently almost kissed another one of his bff's,because he told my friend he thought she was me.But he told me he almost kissed her because he was thinking of me.I told him I forgive him.But i can't seem to get it out of my mind.I'm scared that he'll actually kiss her next time.I really want to break up with him,but he recently told me he loves me,and that i'm the only one for him.I can tell he's telling the truth,because of the way he looks at me.He also bought me a christmas present.My bff's say I should break up with him,but if I do,I will feel really bad.
Should I break up with him?And if so,how should I do it?
From what i've read, the answer depends on you. I admit that i don't know 100% on what's really going on over there, but if you really, really believe that the only person for him is you and breaking up is the last thing on your mind, then give the relationship time. Observe his deeds, the way he expresses his feelings to you and the way he treats you. However, i suggest you to not trust him with all your heart yet because things can sometimes change from good to bad, and bad to worse and the one who's going to bear the burden of tears and bitterness is you and you'll have a long time dealing with these feelings. Like i said earlier, observe him. Remember, you are his girlfriend and you deserve loyalty too from him. It's very strong of you to forgive him eventhough he has hurt you for more than one time but still, don't put your key to happiness in his pocket. Also, life sometimes is about you. Think about it for a moment and ask yourself, can he be trusted ? Is it true that he loves you ? If so, let his actions define his feelings. On the other hand, if you choose to break up with him, you'll lose nothing to be honest. Yes, you might feel really bad afterwards, but if it's worth it, you'll be fine. Think of the best for you and him but prioritise yourself first. See what'll happen if you break up. Don't worry, if he truly loves you, he'll do anything. Remember, if a guy loves you, nothing can make him leave but if he does not, nothing can make him stay. Break up by telling him the truth so that he'll know then, move on. Being with no one is better than being with the wrong one. The choice is yours. Choose the best. Learn from what has happened in the past and don't let the hurtful history haunt you. It's never easy to forget certain things but you need to deal with them and keep in mind that if he violates your trust AGAIN after this, you need to find another guy and let your bf go. Don't worry too much okay ? Be brave. Be independent. Time will heal. Trust your heart and don't fall too easily for him. Don't be scared of what's not happening yet as it will lead to terrible anxiety sometimes. Be scared if you're on the wrong side of the road and fail to see obvious evidences that the relationship is going in a downward spiral then, take actions. All the best :)
A 13 year old girl. Many fights with female best friend in school. So now we 'broke up'and she is giving me cold shoulder. To try and keep the friendship going, I said sorry many times to her even though I wasn't at fault at times. However, she just took advantage of me. She bears grudges because I did some mean things last year but I made up for it. She keeps using that incident against me even though she said she 'forgave me'. I feel frustrated. I really want to get back with her as best friends but I think she is extremely selfish. I just want her to not be angry anymore...What should I do? Or should I just let go because she is so mean and biatchy? Thanks.
I could see that you're trying to reconcile with her but unfortunately , she's not doing the same thing you're doing . To me , if someone takes advantage of you without knowing the impact on the relationship , she has clearly trespassed the limit . Don't worry , accept the problems regarding the friendship as a challenge or as an experience for you . You could try to learn more about her which is , knowing who she really is and her story . In life , everyone has a painful story which sometimes inevitably changes the person who's enduring it . If she still acts as if she couldn't care less about you , then let her be . Don't follow her steps and if possible , be nice to her . She'll remember you more if you show 'love' to her but still , if i were you , i would let her go . You tried to stick the broken pieces together right ? So now , wait and see if it pays off . Realise that if she doesn't change , then that's her choice . You can't change it . I know that you don't want to see her become angry or anything , but you've said it yourself . Let her go for a moment , and see if she comes back . For now , don't worry . Don't worry too much , be friendly to everyone . You'll lose nothing at all :)
I have friends, but the only one's i'm actually close with are people who ive spent a lot of time around. for example, my friends are from class and a few people are on my floor in my dorm. i feel like the only way i make real friends is when im forced to be with a person all of the time. that leaves me with few options since i go to a few places: class and my dorm. I have met people outside of that, like parties and through other people, but haven't had an opportunity to get close enough to them to ask for their number or pursue any kind of friendship. I also hate being the one pursuing the other person, it makes me feel desperate in a way. to top it all off, i'm a terrible texter. I kind of just feel like i'm in a rut. any advice would help, thanks
Hello :) Don't worry yourself too much and take a deep breath. My answer will be long, but bear with me. You see, eventhough this world is big, it is filled with acquiantances mostly, not real friends. To have a friend who's going to be with you through thick and thin, it's not easy and it also requires you to be a true friend to anyone or everyone too. Try being friendly, listen to people's problems and comfort them if possible. They'll never forget you and would also be delighted to return the favour. Smile to everyone. Don't be selective in choosing friends because they might appear from just anywhere in your life but the thing is, you too need to be a friend to the people around you. When the time's right, you can ask for their number if there's a 'school' break or anything, and then share your stories with them. To me, you won't look desperate if you do it in a righteous way. What goes around, comes around. If you're there for your friends, they'll be there for you too but sometimes, you need to be your own friend i.e being independent. Don't worry, you will find more friends if you look in the right place. All the best :)
hi.me and my boyfnd are luvrs since 4 years.we are sinceare and he wants to marry me also at first.but the problem came between us because of one girl,and that girl is his close fnd.she is his fnd since 4yrs only,she too have a boyfnd atfirst but later she gets jealous of me and gets attracted by my boyfnd.she left her boyfnd and started luving my boyfnd,she proposed to my boyfnd,at first he refused but later she begged him no need to marry but please love me untill your marraige and sleep with me.my boyfnd refused to sleep but agreed to love,but he refused to leave me,bcoz he loves me so much than her at first
Wow this must be very hard for you , I know . To me , yes it's that girl who ruined the relationship first but your man should've been loyal to you as much as you are to him ! To be honest , that girl would do anything to be your boyfriend's girl , she wouldn't give up but just think positively . Maybe that girl has a different , sad story in her life or she's just lonely or maybe her family doesn't give her enough attention , and somehow she chose your boyfriend so that maybe she could be happier . However , the victim is you and it's not fair that your boyfriend says he's not happy with you . Look , I don't know how to express my feelings in words but it's time for you to move on . Imagine the heartache you're gonna face if he stays longer with her . Anything can happen , hearts can change so that's why you need to prepare yourself now for the worst . I know you do love him , but if he's not appreciating and treating you right , then he doesn't deserve you ! To me , you need to leave him . Let him go . If he truly loves you , nothing will make him leave but if he doesn't care about your feelings anymore , nothing can make him stay . Let both of them go , I know my advice might be stupid but to me , this is the way . You've been sad for a while , so do still want to ? Especially with that girl around , it's gonna be hard to deal with . The thing is , what goes around comes around , no doubt about that so no matter how she hates you , just be nice to everyone . That's the best solution trust me . If someone makes you sad , don't worry . He or she will face the same thing too so don't hate anyone and keep your head up ! Try talking to your guy and ask him for honest answers . His answer will let you know whether it's still worth it to be with him or not . Be nice to people , but if they start to overlook you , then stand up . Defend yourself because you've the right and about that girl , let her be that way . She will never change plus if you fight with her , it'll be humiliating so just maintain your class . Show that you're tough and no one can step on you . Be smart and wise , don't be afraid . Ask your man for the real answer . I'm so sorry but let him tell you painful truth rather than comforting you with sweet lies .
I get these really bad headaches on the back right of my head and i always feel like shit, like nothing i do is ever good enough like a pressure to be perfect. And Ill get these random moments of sadness where all I want to do is lay in the dark and cry. Please help me, please.
This is the time for you to cry everything out now but stand up after that immediately . Don't tell yourself "I'm never gonna be good at anything." or "I can't do this ! i've had enough." , no no don't tell yourself such things which can ruin your love towards your ownself . Remember , life is not about pleasing others to the best , but to live life to the fullest . Life itself can't be perfect and there's a reason why all of us are imperfect , to show that we need to complete each other's life . You need to be strong and i am so sorry for saying this but i can tell that you're now in a weak and a very vulnerable state and if you can't control your sadness , you might do just anything to relieve the pain . Maybe before this you were once a strong , confident person but somehow something or someone in your life took that joy from you . So , this is the time for you to think of solutions and keep on praying to God . I know that you're trying to live every day happily , but somehow you just can't . Maybe your past has something to do with this but you know what ? It's never too late to change , stand up on yourself ! This is when the hard part comes . It's like someone who has been writing with his right hand tries to change to being a left-handed person , that's how hard it is and it takes courage , sacrifice , tears and pain , and immense strength . The best thing about this is that everyone has the ability to do it ! You have a choice to change your life , so use that choice . Don't be afraid to take risks , you might lose the pearl of your life believe me . Everyday , try to develop self-help and make sure there is a progress . Also , don't , never let people affect your life . It's your life , your heart , your mind , your hair , your arms and everything and they can't be in your body , only you can . Make your heart stronger . Get inspirational stories ! Don't be a perfectionist too sometimes for it might be a burden which brings pressure instead of beauty . If people don't like you , let them be . Be kind to everyone no matter how old they are , smile all the time . Move on from painful memories , be grateful that you're still alive . Be who you are . You are special in your own way and if you keep on trying to please others , then you need to change . Be kind to yourself okay ? That's really important . Be a positive thinker because someone who always thinks positively can get benefits from goodness and also extract benefits from calamities . Remember , you have the choice . Choose the best one for your life . Everyday brings us closer to death , so live it the best way you can and it doesn't need to be perfect . You'll get through this eventually but it only takes you as the key to unlock the freedom of your life , trust me . You can do it don't give up .
So this past year has been kinda hard.. Seventh grade I got made fun of a lot and then in the summer I went out with one of the kids that made fun of me and I just didn't really know it then.. And then I went to the movie in the park with him and we kinda made out.. But we didn't go any further!! I would never do that kind of stuff.. Then he told me if he told his ex that lives in Idaho he would dump me and right when he said that his ex texted me and was like how's u and so and so and I was like good we hung out yesterday but I never told her we never made out.. She told him and he dumped me then when I got back to school eighth grade they started making fun of me for my looks again and so I went out with one of his friends and it was on and off and I do admit to going back and fourth from him to this other kid and then to another kid and then back about three times now the whole school calls me a slut. But I'm a virgin.. How do I get them to stop??
You know , in this life , it's hard to change people especially their words . Maybe you need to stop going back and forth from a guy to another . I know you don't have sinful intentions , but you need to prevent wild accusations . People will always judge you , sometimes they don't realise that all men are equal . Everyone has a story so none of us have the right to judge anyone , to be honest . Don't worry ! If you're innocent and you know that you are , then there's nothing to worry about . Just strengthen your dignity and look up to the world . They don't know you , but you know yourself right ? If the people around you keeps on saying you're a slut , then prove to them you're not ! Plus you're a virgin which means you're very special . Be strong and be hard and again , do remember to take care of your dignity very well . I know I'm not perfect but to be frank , it takes plenty of time to build a reputation but it only takes a second to destroy it . That's why you just need to be yourself and just be kind to everyone . What goes around comes around :)