|
What to do if your girlfriends best friend is driving you nuts
I have been dating my girlfriend for 5 months and she had asked me to move in with her. Everything is great with her but her friend and her boyfriend live with us and needless to say her friend is driving me nuts. She gets mad at everything and recently called me yelling and screaming because I had to leave early in a rush to spend Christmas with my family and i did not have time to clean the house. But the problem is her and her boyfriend are so bad to live with me and my girlfriend do not even go out anywhere in the house we always stay in our room so I do not be leave I should clean a house I don't even get to use. They are driving me up a wall but I don't know what to do because if I move it's going to hurt me and my girlfriend but if I stay this girl is going to drive me nuts.
[ ]
Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
Truthfully , if your girlfriend's best friend and boyfriend are really that unpleasant and don't seem to understand the situation your girlfriend and you are trying to live in , then the problem's big enough . If you feel that they don't respect you , communicate with them in a concerned manner that shows a genuine desire to improve circumstances for all of you . Try approaching your girl's best friend or her boyfriend and let them know that you've moved in to not cause any trouble , and that you deserve some respect in a friendly way . Ask them if there's anything bothering them about you guys but please be patient with them . If one of them starts to raise his or her tone , control your anger . Show them that they've no power to change you and keep your head up . Be willing enough to enjoy the house too and do the things you love , so don't let them influence you at all . The thing is , talk to them and earn your rights . Let people do and say whatever they want to you , but don't follow their footsteps . Again , enjoy the house with your girlfriend . You guys deserve to be happy too man . However , if you see no signs of them changing and you've done everything you can , then just let them be . What goes around comes around anyway so keep your composure :) Stay away from them , not the house if that's the choice . Be patient , be patient .
]
When people share a house there must be clearly defined rules, in writing, that everyone signs off on as to just what is expected of everyone. This list would include financial responsibilities and chores. What is expected of them in how common areas of the house are used.
One thing that must be clearly understood is that if you make a mess you clean it. House cleaning chores are general house up keep such as dusting, vacuuming and the taking out of the trash.
Use of common areas is to the general acceptability of all. In other words unless you all are in to group sex, sex and making out is confined to your respective bedrooms. Snuggling on the couch while watching a movie would probably be acceptable.
If these rules are not acceptable then the party who is not primarily the responsible party on the lease or is the not the homeowner needs to look for a new place to stay.
Rules such as these help keep arguments to a minimum. IF the roommate still is hard to live with even after the rules are put in place then the only practical answer is that she be asked to move out. This is something you really need to discuss with your girlfriend.
Basically you tell her you would like to move in but the girlfriend drives you nuts and why. Offer the house rules as a way to minimize the arguments. If this doesn't work would she be willing to ask the girlfriend to move out to save your relationship.
Yes I think it is just that simple. Rather than jeopardize your relationship by moving in. You stay the way you are and visit. Limiting your contact with the girl friend.
]
More Questions: |