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June 13, 2007Answers:
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Ive been through a lot,so i know different stuff and could prolly give you some sort of advice.
Ive been through:eviction,my father leaving, 5 dads/wanna be dads,drugs,smoking,alcohol, best friends having babies,cheating,love triangles, sex buddies, family/friends deaths, abuse, stress, sicknesses, bi friends,miscarriage,etc. etc.
I love to laugh.Sometimes I cry, and I'm not always sure why. I love to have friends, but only few are real. I hate a lot of people, yet I'm nice to everyone. I try to figure things out, but yet I get nothing.I love being right. But always wrong. I love being close to people. but yet I'm so far.I tell myself things. and never do them. I know who I am. But not enough.
I lie to cover the pain. But it's revealed by honesty. I get away with too much. I'm always so messy.And my room is too.This is my life.
And I like this way.
Ask me anything because even if I'm not sure I'll try my best to help you and I'll let you know in my answer if I'm not sure!
I'm very wierd!or according to most people I am. I consider myself wierd too so its all good.
*Michelle*
advice
im 17/f
i wanna get my belly button pierced, but my boyfriend of 2 years told me i could do whatever i want, he just doesnt like them. idk if i should get it or not bc his opinion matters a lot to me. what would you do?
Well in my opinion is that its your body, you can do what you want to it... But I would also care about my boyfriends opinion, maybe you should ask him why he doesn't like it.
And you can always wait to get it pierced..
=]
Been in a long distance relationship for 6 months now. Lately, all we do is argue. It's always over really, really petty things, obviously because we're so frustrated with not being able to physically be with eachother, and we just miss eachother to bits.
Usually I want to fix the argument right away, but the last little argument we had, I just turned off my phone for 4 hours, and didn't talk to him. And honestly, it felt good. Of course I still worried, oh god, he's going to be so mad..but I felt worry free for a little while.
I never told him this, just said I left my phone at home on accident while I went out. But today we had another spat, and instead of solving it he just went to sleep. So, usually I text him some sweet things, apologizing for the stupidness of the argument, and say i love him.
But, this time I didn't. I don't know if it's that I'm just getting so sick of the constant arguments over literally nothing, or what. My question is, do you think its worth staying with him?
I like him a lot, and I'm supposed to be visiting him in march. But, I just feel in my gut that this isn't going how I wanted. I really DON'T want to break up with him, ONLY because he's the most sensitive person ever (his last ex, it took him about 2yrs to get over, and i'm his 1st relationship since then), and I don't want to hurt his feelings. And, if I break him with him, I KNOW i'll be so hurt/miserable too. I'll sit here feeling like a horrible person, and probably thinking of all the actual good times we had.
But, I can't help but think that the hurt of losing him may be better than dealing with these pointless arguments all the time. And if I completely cut off communication and stuff, which is easier in a long distance relationship, wouldn't it be easier to get over him?
Oh, please any advice you have would be so helpful!! Thanks!
Long distance relationships aren't good most of the time. I've had two, and they both didn't work out, but everybody's different..
In my opinion theyre never a good idea, especially if you or your partner have trust issues.
I know you don't want to hurt him, but you need to do what makes you happy. Ya'll can still try to be friends, and if ya'll are meant to be ya'll will get back together in the future.
The small petty things your arguing about are the ones that kill your relationship, and almost everyone elses relationships. I know, I was with a guy for almost 3 years and we broke up, because of the petty things. They build up over time and you just can't take it anymore.
If you want to work it out, tell him that your sick of fighting and it needs to stop or the two of you won't last. (But tell him in a nice way.)
Just tell him how you feel, and see how things go, really take your time to think about what you want and what makes you happy, and whats in your best interest. (As much as I don't like this, it's the truth..We can't always protect everyone from getting hurt.)
Take some time, talk to him about, and see how it goes.Good luck! Let me know how it goes please =]
okay. so i have ben dating this guy for over a year now and we are so close we have done everything really so there im close to his family well close enough for now and im 17 i think it would be okay if i slept at his house with my mom knowing it would be great i wouldnt have to leave and id be happy his mom doesnt care if she talks to my mom. but my mom wont even let us in my room together whatever but so here what is a way that i could talk my mom into letting me go sleep at his house or let him in my room when he comes over.????
Talk to your mom, tell her your almost an adult now and you need more trust from her. (aka, letting him into your room at least.)
Tell your mom you want to stay the night as his, and that she can talk to his mom. Let her know that his mom said it would be okay. Suggest that you'll sleep on the couch (you can still stay up late with him), or that his mom will come check on ya'll every hour or couple hours to make sure that ya'll aren't doing anything. Or suggest that ya'll will leave the door open when you go to sleep.
Then as time goes on and both parents grow to trust you and your boyfriend they can leave the two of you alone more.
Just tell your mom how you feel, don't be rude about it or she'll make you wait until your 18, once you turn 18 though she can't do anything about where you stay the night.
I've been in the same situation, we did a LOT of negotiating to come up with terms and conditions of me staying at his house. Our rules were:
Leave the door open, Some one check on us every hour or couple hours, and one of us had to sleep on the couch, and someone checked on us to make sure we didn't sneak back into the room. Then as time went on we we're finally trusted enough to where I could just sleep in his bed with the door closed and no one checked on us.
Good luck! & let me know how it goes if you don't mind. =]
Two weeks before starting our first year of college (at the same university), my boyfriend broke up with me when I brought up how we were leaving so soon and things seemed up in the air with us. I was very much in love with him; he was my first, we dated for a little over a year, we were always there for each other, and none of our friends ever saw the breakup coming. We hang out in the same group of friends, so by the time the news got around most people were already at school.
I visited my best friend that following weekend to get my mind off of it, but at the end of the night I ended up being left by myself in this guy's apartment where he raped me. I didn't tell her (I really didn't want to make her feel like a bad friend, she was drunk and thought I was already gone), and all my other friends were in college already so I didn't want to bother them with my problems, and my parents would freak out and probably make me stay at home, and plus it can't get any more sad; it was the day before my 18th birthday. I'm the kind of person who hates being felt sorry for, and I would rather put it at the back of my mind.
Anyway, back to my ex: we planned on remaining good friends, but after arriving here, we starting ignoring each other, he would do anything to avoid me, and vice versa. I avoided him because I didn't know how to deal with my situation, and I cared about him so I didn't want that hanging over his head too, I would rather him be able to have fun his first year of college without worrying about his ex and her sob story. I have no idea why he is ignoring me, but as winter break is approaching, our group of friends is set on hanging out, and I'm nervous about seeing him; when our mutual friends came up last month to visit he avoided seeing me and we had to take turns taking them out (mature, I know). If we talk, should I explain to him what happened? Would he not care? We're in a band together too so we're basically forced to interact, and I feel like what happened to me was relevant to the way things ended between us. But I know that's not something a guy wants to hear about an ex, which is why I didn't say anything in the first place. Help!
That's very sad that happened to you. And whatever you do don't blame yourself for the rape, it wasn't your fault- even if you were drunk and stayed at the guys house. I've kinda been in the same situation, but people found out about it, and people started calling me a whore and they didn't even know the situation.
If I was you I'd start talking to your ex. And if yall are trying to ignore each other it might be because yall still have feelings for each other. Once yall start talking again and tell him about the rape, yall were dating for awhile so he will care, and he can help you through it.
& your not a push over, or anything like that. You've been through a lot lately and from the sounds of it you havent really been able to tell any one about the rape. I suggest telling someone, and your ex sounds like someone who might be able to help you through it..
Good luck! & let me know how it goes =]
Ok so I'm 14 and in 9th grade. Last weekend I met this boy at a friends party. We immediatly hit it off. I told my best friend Taylor that I liked him a lot by the end of the party. She and Bobby are friends so she told him for me and he felt the same way. And at the party he was so cute we went outside. It was raining so he gave me his jacket. And then the next day he asked me out. This was over aim. I said yes and that's that. During the weekend we talked a lot and we have so much in common. We both love horror movies, like shakespear, have most of the same friends. Pretty much we agree on everything. Monday after school I stayed after with him and we watched a volleyball game. We talked and talked and he's really great because he just keeps the Convo going. Tuesday I didn't see much of him and we didn't really talk to much today. I really like him and I want this to last but I'm worried things are going to get akward. Plus everyone thinks he's gay and whatever because he's got a lot of friends that are girls. And I'm not sure if he really likes me now or at all. I want to give this relationship a good chance so what can I do? With some friends were going to the mall so I need some advice on how to get him to know I like him. We've been going out for like 3 days when should we hold hands or kiss? Help please! :) thanks so much
Dont stress about him, plenty of other fish in the sea and you still have a while before you need to worry about relationships.
When yall are ready to kiss it will just happen, don't plan it or anything. You can try holding his hand thats not that big of a deal. Just casually try holding it or ask him if yall can hold hands.
Don't be too pushy you have only been going out for 3 days.. its too soon to rush anything.
&& to know if he likes you play around with him, has a hat- take it from him, tease him lightly about how hes not going to get it back, and if he tries to grab for it- well yall get closer and theres possibilty for a kiss =] Just play around with him and if he plays back theres a good chance he likes you.
Good luckk! Let me know how it goes =]
My relationship with my ex was incredibly stressful and destructive. We argued constantly and even though we loved and cared about each other, we couldn't make it work. We were together for about a year but split up at least twice during that period. Eventually, I ended the relationship. He claimed to be heartbroken and kept calling and texting me with angry and hurtful messages.
About a week later, it turned out he was seeing a girl I'd always been suspicious of. He is now having a relationship with her. Although he admitted he was still in love with me, he said he had moved on and refused to discuss it with me. Now he won't talk to me at all.
I know I broke up with him and he has every right to do what he wants but I can't help being hurt and upset. It feels like a betrayal. Although it could just be a rebound thing, it's like he's chosen the one girl he knew would hurt me the most. I can't help but think he didn't really love or care about me if he can move on that quickly. I assumed we had mutual respect for each other and after he tried so hard to guilt trip me and upset me when we split up, I'm surprised that he immediately got into a new relationship.
I want to just forget about it, but I can't stop thinking about the fact that he's with her. I've avoided going out because in case I bump into them and because the girl lives just round the corner from me, I'm scared I'll see her. My ex also goes to my college and is in one of my classes, so I can't avoid him. How can I forget about this? It's making me angry and upset and affecting everything in my life.
My ex did the same thing, and we got back together. He told me his reasoning for dating the other girl was to help him get over me. So maybe you ex is doing the same, but trying to get back at you at the same time.
If I was you I'd dress up, look super hot; and whenever he's around smile and laugh, make it look like your okay. If he thinks about you, which he probably does, then seeing you like this will probably make him think about you more.
And as for forgetting about the situation, I think the best thing you can do is go out with friends and family and have fun. Every now and then have a night to yourself allowing you to eat ice cream, watch a movie, cry, sing as loud as you want to a song like "so what" by pink, and take a hot shower to get everything out of your system.
Hope everythings works out in your favor. =]
me and my boyfriend have been dating for almost a year.
for our 1 year aniversary i want to get him a really sexy gift. like a box of anything for like foreplay or like teasing him and sex and stuff like that....I have a few ideas...but more would be good...any ideas?
There are a variety of things you can do. The ideas I mainly have are if you are already having intercourse with him.
Sex dice, buy some nice lingerie for you and show it off to him, coupons(write dirty things on them that you are willing to do with him, give him a limit on them or something.like for example: 1 bj, 2 kisses.etc.)
If you are having sex with him, while your taking his clothes off or him taking your off tell him a fantasy you have about him if he doesn't know you think about him like that.Or buy some KY brand stuff, they have new items for your pleasure and his.
Buy whip cream or any other food product well want to eat.... and use imagination here.(most people enjoy licking that off...buy some and wrap it up.)
That's all I can think of at this moment...but if I think of more I'll let you know. Hope I helped. Good Luck with the gifts.
I caught up with an old high school friend about 3 weeks ago he came to town from 2 hours away to visit family and friends. I'm currently in a relationship but it's abusive and I'm trying to get out of it. However over a period of 2 and half weeks I think I may have fallen in love with my high school friend. We talk on the phone all night and we have so much in common and my heart beats faster everytime I hear him talk to me and I cry sometimes because I miss him and I feel really bad. The thing is he lives 2 hours away...He said he will move back down to my hometown but it's so hard to hear him say that when he might not be able to keep his promise. I think I am in love but I'm not sure. I can't seem to get my mind off him and when he calls me I have a big smile on my face. I told him that I think I really like him but I haven't told him everything only because I feel like I should hold my feelings back but it's so hard I want to wait for him to move back home but I feel like I also can't wait forever. I have no idea what I should do... Am I in love? According to what I'm telling you? WHAT is happening to me!!!
You really need to get away from your current boyfriend! It might be hard but it needs to be done.
Tell your high school friend about the abuse. Tell him how you feel about him, let him know you dont want to wait forever but you do want him.
If you cry when you talk to him because you miss him, and you smile when your on the phone with him and things of that sort, you may be in love.
I told some one else this and I'll tell you to... its not the exact thing of what I told them but what I remember of it: Its better to know than not to know at all. You could miss out on something great and wonderful.
I knew a guy for 3-5 years and I found out we could have had a relationship because he wanted me like I wanted him. But the year I found out he moved.. And it was so hard, get him while you can. Don't miss out like I did..(but in my case I now have a wonderful boyfriend whom I love.)
And even if the school friend doesnt like you at least you got away from abuse...and maybe you and your friend can still be friends at least.
I hope I helped you. Sorry this was a bit long. And Good luck. I hope you get away from the abuse and get a new boyfriend.
okay so i've been dating my boyfriend a yeah and he talks about how one day he knows he is going to lose interest this hurts me and i try not to let it get to me but it does. it's like he knows the end is coming and he is preparing both of us for it. N ow I'm not naive i do know that eventually chances are it will. We don't really fight we don't have problems, we get along great and he tells me if he ends it it wont be because he stopped loving me it will be because he wont be able to be with someone he is "bored of". Now please don't tell me it seems like a jerk thing to tell your girlfriend. I'm just looking for things i could do to make things more interesting, not necessarily sex wise just in general to make him not lose interest. He told me he doesn't like me as much now as he did when we first started dating, I cant go act like i did in the beginning because i haven't changed, hes just getting bored.
What can i do to avoid him ending it or at least to get these thoughts of boredom out of his head.
please help me
thanks x 100000000000
H.R.
Do something with him, if you don't already, and if you do try something new.
Go out if you dont. Maybe bowling, movie nights, play a board game, play video games with him, go outside and do something.. Just a few ideas.
Make bets on who can beat up who..if you play fight. Bet kisses and stuff. Or make bet kisses or something on who will win a game.
Write him love notes telling him how much you love him, if you do. But do NOT OVER Do it.. I dont think guys like it when you over do it.
Be creative.
I'm 15/f and my boyfriend and I have been dating for 1yr. and 8 months. So I know what its like. These are some of the tips that I could come up with,its what I do to keep my relationship a little interesting.
You dont have to change yourself for some one else though.
Hope I helped. Good Luck with you and your guy.
13/f
I like my best guyfriend. I think he likes me... What do you think?-- We flirt alot and he always asks my opinions on things. I sit next to him in two classes. He's really nice to me and tells me alot of his secrets. He looks at me often. He has called me hot before. Like all this sounds so great, but for some reason i feel like he doesnt like me. What do you think?????
The best way to know is ask... its better to know than to not know at all. there will always be "what if" it can't really hurt to ask.
Maybe bring it up casually when your talking, around that kind of relationship or who likes who kind of subject. Or maybe bring it up as a joke, what would you do if I told you I liked you? It took me 3 years to find out a guy liked me and when I found out it was too late, he was moving far away. Don't be like me and lose out on something that could have happend.
Good luck with this guy! I hoped I helped you some.
my friends mom is having triple bypass surgery because shes a heavy smoker. my friend is tryin to be there for her but shes already told him that its going to be impossible for her to quit. hes torn apart because shes not even willing to quit even if it means her life. i dont know what to say to make him feel better i dont even know if theres anything i can do to help i just feel so bad cause he cares about her so much and she could careless if she died or even saw him graduate
Let him know your there for him when ever he needs some one.. Pray for,if your religious, and let him know your going to pray for her.
That's what I do when some thing happens to my friends. It may not work, I'm not sure.. Just let you friend know your there for him.
16/f
my boyfriend has trouble trusting me. he says he trusts me but i know he doesn't. he freaks out anytime i even talk to another guy. i used to have so many guy friends now i don't anymore. i love my boyfriend to death and will not breakup with him i just need your help with a way to make things better.
this happens a lot about different things but i'll tell you what is going on now. he is constantly scared that if i talk to another guy i'll like him. my boyfriend is always asking me who i talk to in my gym class (meaning guys). i hardly talk to any of the guys, mostly just the girls. i told him that and he was like give me all of the names of the people you've had conversations with. and he started freaking out. then i told him that there is no way i could ever remember that and i'm crying so much and he thinks i'm hiding something. he always thinks i talk to guys behind his back.
like he always looks at my phone at my texts and calls. i know he just loves me so much and never wants to lose me but idk what to do to make all of this stop and just have him trust me!
thanks so much!
Have you ever asked him why hes like that?
Maybe something has happend in his past that has made it harder for him to trust people.
Talk to him about it, tell him you need a little more space.
Try giving him compliments more often, dont suck up too much because he might think something is up. Let him know your not going to leave him for some other guy.
My boyfriend and I go through this a lot, but its me with the trust issues. You just have to stand by him and let him know you want him and no one else.
Good Luck!! Hope I helped you.
help!
i am a freak i guess you could say. and i cant do the things i need to do because i have the nosiest parents ever. but when guys ask me to hang they wonna do stuff. like head and handjobs. and idk how to do it exactly. so could anyone give me a play by play or tips.
something?
andything, please!
Basically what the person said before me. And Here's a tip my boyfriend likes..it might help you make it better.
If your giving a bj lick him on the top of his penis,play around with it, and maybe use your hands to gently play with him while doing it. Don't look so serious when you do it either, try and smile and what not, guys like to watch what your doing so look like you enjoy it too.
This is the first time I'm having a serious relationship with a guy. Most of my relationships don't last for more than a mth, but this guy and I have been going out for 4 mths. I know its not a big deal, but 4 mths is an encouragement to me.
The thing is, How do you girls know if it is the right time to give "it" to him? I don't want our first time to be something that happened just because we felt really horny that day or whatsoever.I'd like it to be meaningful. I know my bf loves me a lot. But I'm just afraid.. what if the relationship won't last? I may be happy now, but what if in the near future it takes a turn for the worst, and that'll be when I regret giving my first time to him.
I was 13..a month before I turned 14 when I lost my "v-card". (Fortunatelly me and my amazing boyfriend are still together.) I regret doing it only 4 monthes into the relationship. If I was you,even though 4 monthes is normally a big deal, I'd wait a bit longer. I'd suggest waiting 'til at least 6 monthes or a year.(AT LEAST!)
If you cannot talk to each other about sexual diseases than you are not ready for sex. You deffinately need to ask him if he has been tested and etc, this way you and him can talk about different forms of protection.
And if he isn't willing to use a condom then he isn't worth it, and I'd suggest you dump him or at least not have sex with him.
You'll kind of just know if you want to do "it" with him, it should feel right. Most of the time sex isnt perfect, especially since your doing it for the first time.
Sorry its so long. I hope I helped you some. Good luck!!
i have been with my boyfriend since last july we first just started to fool around basically then we gaiend more interest by the end of july and were together. he did live right by me but in september he moved back home about an hour away from me. id visit weekends and we`d either stay at a hotel or his house when his parents wernt there ( i didnt want to meet them because of my age and they didnt allow us to sleep in the same room together, still dont) when i visited, we would have fun and lots of sex for that night or two, which is so different from now. the last few months whenever i go dont he never wants to, sometimes we dont even, if i am lucky we will have sex once that weekend. everyone is saying he just might not be interested or is cheating. and im thinking they are right. we have had a threesome before and it didnt bring us closer. he seems just to not be interested at all, but he says he is. i always go there weekends and i feel he doesnt even appreciate it anymore, he just legit sits there and plays video games for hours and i sit in the bed till we go to bed. i love him and it used to be so great i dont know what to do. p.s i am moving down there in august
talk to him about it. Tell him you really dont feel like he wants you or the sex anymore.
You may also want to just lay off of sex just a little bit, having too much sex can kinda ruin a relationship...because sometimes your partner could feel thats all you want.
Tell him you want to do stuff besides watch him play video games.
The best thing to do is next time you're with him explain things..like how you feel, etc. I suggest you do it with him this way no one can hang up or set the phone down, plus maybe afterwards you can have make-up sex. :p
Hope I helped.
so i like this guy and this guy likes me. we've been talking for a couple months and finally expressed our feelings over the weekend. i was thrilled. we planned a date and when i called him to confirm times and such the next day he said that he can't be in a relationship right now. i know he still likes me but what does it mean that he can't be in a relationship right now? what are reasons that a guy would say that?
I think you honestly just need to ask him what he means by he can't be in a relationship? When just a day or so ago he could be.
(If the two of you were open enough to try and start one why not be open about not starting one?)
is it okay if i distract myself from my problems. im unhappy, but im trying to distract my mind, but i feel like im going to end up even more unhappy. but ive been unhappy since a few months ago, so im trying out this method. i figure its at least temporary partial happiness. what do you think about the method? is it worse then letting myself soak in my problems? ive been doing that since my problems started, and theyre not going away. should i continue distracting my mind instead of what i have been doing?
and does this question even make sense? lol
you shouldnt distract yourself from your problems. they will most likely be there until you face them.
its probably going to be hard to face them.
maybe you could try facing one or two a day/a week. however long you need.
or maybe try facing one problem one day, and the next day hide from them, and do this for however long you need if it works.
I hope I helped.
14.f
i have not had my first kiss yet, but many boys like me and i have a feeling i will get it soon.
but.. many people tell me i intimidate guys because of my beauty. i cause guys to think, "i don't have a chance with her, she's too good for me" because of my looks. everyone GASPS when they find out i haven't had my first kiss yet. but honestly, i don't want to rush it. i want it to be with someone special.
because of this, i have no idea how to kiss a guy. i tried googling and watching videos and such, but i just don't know. i've heard that you just have to let it flow, go with it ... but i'm afraid a really attractive guy will come along and like me and i'll go to kiss him and mess it up.
can someone make me feel better? i've read somewhere that girls have asked their guyfriends to teach them how to kiss. is that socially acceptable?
you should wait for some one special.
dont rush just because everyone else has or because people expect you to have had your first kiss just because your pretty. (just because your pretty doesnt make you a whore who makes out with everyone.:) )
Try this site.
http://www.coolnurse.com/frenchkiss.htm
heres something you could try when you have your first kiss,something i know my b/f likes. when your kissing him run your hand through his hair and just play with it, if he doesnt have hair put your hands around him ,maybe around his neck.
dont worry about messing it up when people get nervous they normally get clumsy. its normal and you and the guy should be able just to laugh it off.
and if your together for a long time (or not,)the both of you will always have something to remember each other by. if your together for awhile you can always tease each other about it.
here are 2 good tips:
*try to make sure if he tilts his head left tilt yours right- this way you dont bump heads.
*dont just shove your tongue in his mouth or down his throat.
your right about going with the flow,it should just come naturally. good luck!and have fun with it.
hope i helped some.
*~*Michelle*~*
okay so my boyfriend has fingered me a lot. i like it to a point but he like scrapes me when he does it. i know, ouch. but like on the outside to find it. how do i tell him that that DOESN"T feel good?
this is a suggestion,i do it with my boyfriend sometimes.
place your hand on top of his and guide it around,be gentle with his hand,just dont jerk it around.
guys dont know what feels good to us,unless we tell them.
hope i helped.
Theres this girl that talks to me ALOT when ever i see her she says hi and talks. Then in gym today she ask if i wanted to play football and stuff. I like her alot. But she alerdy has a boyfriend. So does she like me?
I do the same thing with a guy in my gym class. and i was falling in love with him as well as my boyfriend. so she might actually like you and her b/f at the same time,it is possible.
or
she really might like you.
or
then again she might be just using you to make her b/f mad.
The fact that she wants to play football with you and talk to you sounds like she is flirting with you.
But there isnt really enough information here to tell you though.
Hope i helped some. feel free to ask questions about it.cuz i did it to a guy while dating my boyfriend,but did/am with my b/f. so i might have insight on what she is doing.if any of this makes sense.