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TALK-2-ME-2DAY@HOTMAIL.COMGender:
MaleLocation:
CLEVELAND, UKAge:
20MSN:
REBELS-OV-THE-NIGHT@HOTMAIL.COMMember Since:
June 14, 2007Answers:
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July 19, 2007Visitors:
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Hi I'm Chandler!Among my group of friends I'm often referred to as the 'agony aunt' and to be honest I don't think there's anything between us all that we haven't had to deal with! So now I'm hear to help you! Ill always tell you what I really think - like it or not!!, ill talk about anything and don't mind getting personal but most important I really do care!
So whatever it is... Talk to me!
_________________
'He that gives good advice, builds with one hand; he that gives good counsel and example, builds with both; but he that gives good admonition and bad example, builds with one hand and pulls down with the other.'
advice
My ex-boyfriend of more than 3 years really isn't sure he wants to be involved in our unborn daughters life [due nov. 4th]...i really wish he would be because i would hate for her to miss out on anything like this...i want her to have a father...even if he and i are not together...i really need advice on what to do and tell him to convince him that being involved in her life is the right thing to do and that we need to think of our daughter regarless or our situation...we've talked about this extensively but he is still unsure...i really want my daughter to have her father...please what can i do??? help....
Hi,
Well it amazes me that men like him have the audacity to assume they should have the luxury of being able to make that choice. You as the mother do not have that luxury and he is equally responsible for the conception of this child as you are!
Unfortunately however no one can force him to take any interest in your daughters life but what I would say is this: I think you overestimate how useful this mans involvement would be - to be blunt so far all he has done has shown himself to be a complete moron and secondly you underestimate how well you can do bringing this child up without his help. I don't for one moment disagree with you that in an ideal world a Childs biological farther will be there to bring up his child but it sounds to me as if you have exhausted all efforts and now the balls in his court.
If he does decide he does not want to play a part in your daughters life now, at some point in the future when she is older (and he is older and hopefully wiser) he may well wish to make-amends - and then will come the day he has to look his own child in the eye and explain why he abandoned her, why he was uninterested in her - meanwhile you'll be able to look her in the eye and you and she will both know you've always been there to hold her, protect her and love her and not for a second did you ever question if you 'wanted to be part of her life or not'!
Your ex-boyfriend is a disgrace and a yellow livered coward and as for you - your going to be a fantastic mom!
The very best of luck now and for the future, take care of your-self and your doughter.
Best wishes
Chandler
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is masturbating a sin (im christian) if yes, why?
NO ITS NOT - and that's all I am going to say on the matter before I get stated on the deluded brain-washed and brain-washing nutcases that go round sprouting out that sort of totally ridiculous nonsense because they don't have anything more important, relevant or useful to do with their insignificant life's!!!!!
i like to watch gay porn and jack off to it but i hate seeing guys kiss, its just weird and i can never think of loving a guy. i date girls all the time and naked girls turn me on too i like to think of myself of straight...what do u think.
Hi!
Can I first say that I'm answering this question as a 'bi' person myself.
It seems to be that your worried about the feelings you've been having and you say you 'like' to think of yourself as 'striate' - stop worrying about it you are what you are and gay, bi or striate it doesn't matter.
When I was a younger teen I was the same as you (guy's turned me on as well as girl but I wasn't too keen on the kissing, couldn't imagine myself loving or settling down with a boy and had only had girl friends - no boy friends) but as I got older my feelings for boys changed to be equal to my feelings for girls. This may not be the same for you - lots of teens experience feelings for the same sex as well as the opposite sex and ultimately they give way to feelings only for the opposite sex. But remember gay, bi or striate it doesn't matter! In life we are what we are and people will either like us for who we are or they won't - and if they don't then so what?? Do we really need their approval to make our life complete - I don't think so!
Chan
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Okay so shhes been trying to be nice today
but its not that easy
i mean she always does this
she flips out really bad
and then the next day she realizes it
then acts like im gonna forget about it
i dont think she gets how it affects me
it totally brings my mood down by a lot
all ive done today is be on the computer
i had people who wanted to hang out but i told them i couldnt
ehh idk just thought id tell you what happened after i asked for help yesterday :] thhankss!
Hi again,
Sorry it has taken me so long to reply to your question! The paten of behaviour you describe your mom as showing is common - they flip out, go mad, go totally berserk then calm down and then feel guilty and as you say make a real effort to be nice. But this niceness is really (as you know only too well) just the calm before the storm - before the next time they flip out. People who behave in this irrational and volatile way need help - professional help to allow then to break that cycle, that vicious circle and learn to control their feelings and emotions. Would it be wise to try and talk to your mom and explain things from your point of view while she is in a happier mood or would the conversation just make her angry? if you think it would help then give it a try - but like I said last time you cant put up with having to live like this and you need to make certain others, who can help know whats going on! Keep keeping me up to date and remember the most important people who will help you through this are your friends!
Love n hugs!!
Chandler
xxxxxx
well me and my mom we have our moments where we dont get along very well
i really dont like her that much, well at all and i dont want to live here anymore
so she yells at me for stupid things
so she was jokingly going to hit me right
but then i grabbed her armm and twisted it. ok i want to emphasize jokingly.
so then 5 minutes later i jokingly slapped her face but i barely touched her at all! she flipped out and was like IF YOU EVER DO THAT AGAIN YOUR GONNA REGRET IT. then i was like umm no i wont regret it or somethhing i dont remember but i guess it made her mad bc she punched me rly hard and it like broke my thumb or something...idk but it really hurts so i punched her back but not as bad and shhe just did it again to me
shes not always liek this its just sometimes lately
i dont know what to do
SHHES NOT ABUSIVE, just to point that out
i just dont know what to do
my life has really gone down the drain
the guy i like is an asshole and he will never like me again. well hes really nice but it just seems like hhe doesnt care. and friends are really shallow now a days...
eh i like this other guys kind of but it wont go anywhere and i just dont knwo what to do at all with anythhing. i basically need advice on everything in my life.
it seems like the only thing i really have in life is myself, i love myself because its pretty much all ive got
eh i want to get out of my house
what should i do before it gets worse?
i cant take this anymore.
ps. im 14 & a girl
im really sorry its soo long but i have a lot of problems in my life right now :[
Hi hun, The last thing I want to do is upset you but I am going to be totally honest with you - you say your mom is not abusive, well I would consider any parent who punches their daughter "really hard" to be abusive! Its fantastic you've got self-respect and you come across as an incredibly strong person but you can't be expected to live like this and you defiantly can't bottle all this up any try and deal with it alone! Its good that you've come to this site to ask for advice but you really do need to talk to someone face to face who is in a position to help and do something about it! Also its times like this when you really need your friends - talk to then and let then know what's happening and your true friends will be there for you. Keep me informed and let me know what's happening! stay strong - you can do it!
Chan
xxx
ok 15/f...if that helps. Ok so one of my best guy friends is like in love with me. I know it, he knows it, the world knows it. I don't like him back. And the world knows that too (including him). I hear everyone saying that he is such a sweet guy and he would do anything for me but I just don't like him. I don't know what to do. He's liked me forever and he can't seem to get over me (sorry if that sounds cocky). I'm not leading him on or playing with his emotions b/c I'm just trying to be his friend. And he complains to everyone about how much he likes me and how I don't like him back and I feel like I'm doing something wrong. I've even tried taking a break from him for a while but he's said that he would rather get over me on his own than have us take a break from our friendship. Help?
Thanks.
Hi, well your not doing anything wrong - what you are doing is trying to be a good friend and trying to be honest with him. Situations like this are very difficult. What I would say is this: I've seen more than once really strong, special friendships seriously damaged by the two becoming 'more than friends' people who have been good friends for a long time, friends who are really close have to be very, very careful if they are to become more than that. This isn't the point hear as you don't actually like him in that way but maybe if you explain to him how important your friendship is and how you would never want to do anything to jeopardise that he would understand? Be understanding and caring, he is your friend and this must be very, very hard for him. Also you say 'the world knows it' - well try not to let the whole thing become public knowledge any more than it already is, this is private between you and your friend and it must be hard enough for him as it is (and for you!). He will accept what your saying and move on eventually (honest!)
Chandler
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I have a boyfriend that's 18 who turns 19 in August.And I'm 16 and I turn 17 in October.Would it work out if I was going in Highschool and he went to college in the area.Or do you think he would get tired of me and get someone better who's in college or whatever.Or even I would find someone in highschool.I just want some opinions if you don't mind.
Hi,
Your worried he might find some one else in collage or you might find some one else in high school - well your right that might happen or you may split up for any other reason but that's life and it's the same with every other relationship. If you like each other and if you want to be together you can't let the fear of what 'might' happen stop you! Just have fun and see how things go and you never know he could be 'the one' and if not then so what - plenty fish in the sea!
Chandler
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