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How do you know its time
This is the first time I'm having a serious relationship with a guy. Most of my relationships don't last for more than a mth, but this guy and I have been going out for 4 mths. I know its not a big deal, but 4 mths is an encouragement to me.
The thing is, How do you girls know if it is the right time to give "it" to him? I don't want our first time to be something that happened just because we felt really horny that day or whatsoever.I'd like it to be meaningful. I know my bf loves me a lot. But I'm just afraid.. what if the relationship won't last? I may be happy now, but what if in the near future it takes a turn for the worst, and that'll be when I regret giving my first time to him.
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The best thing I can say is this, Sex is something that needs to be within marriage. I know alot of people say today it's for anyone you love. but the Natural purpose of having such relationships is to have children. If you have no desire to have a family with this person, then that should be a red flag there.
Think about this question. Is this worth the risks? a lot of people say "it won't happen to me" I know of no one that have had it happen to them that didn't think that. such powers of nature should not be taken lightly. I have seen more missory and pain brought about by such reckless actions. lives that never will be the same after.
I sinserly hope this helps you out.
~Shadow Fox
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i know exactly what you mean, been there thought that
i understand that you really like/love your boyfriend but your nervous because there's always that question in the back of your mind like "what if this, what if that?"etc but all that means is that you need to wait longer to get to know him better and have faith in him that when he says he truly loves you that he means it and he wouldn't hurt you by leaving you unless it was best for the both of you. if you believe you will be with him for a long time or if you truly love eachother but end of breaking up after a while at least you could say that you gave your virginity to someone you love and you dont regret it. so basically just wait it out and learn about eachother some more, trust me, you'll know you're ready to give up your virginity when you have no doubts anymore.
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Trust me you'll know it's the right time. You will know it's right when you no longer have any questions, doubts, fears about it or about your partner's loyalty. You will have thought it through with your partner, learned more about it and got on birth control as well.
It won't be right until you are secure in knowing you are with the right person for you and that you've been as responsible in planning for it and assuring he will stick around long after. If you are afraid about anything or for that matter don't know if he'll stick around or lie about sticking around than don't do it!
Look at it this way you are very young and have your whole adult life to experience sex. Make sure it's with the right person, that there is no doubts or fears lingering and that you truly are in love with your partner.
You also don't need an unplanned pregnancy happening because of a few moments of passion one night. You ought to jot down on piece of paper what your values are and if this person stacks up. You don't want to do it for the sake of doing it or to get it over with. It's not a competition and virginity isn't a bad thing to still have. Sadly, many kids rush into it.
I would get a few books on human sexuality and study them with your partner so you know what to expect and when fully ready pursue it with him or hold off for someone else. maybe you shouldn't do it until married to the person you want to be with the rest of your life. There's lots to think about but you're smart and level headed.
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I was 13..a month before I turned 14 when I lost my "v-card". (Fortunatelly me and my amazing boyfriend are still together.) I regret doing it only 4 monthes into the relationship. If I was you,even though 4 monthes is normally a big deal, I'd wait a bit longer. I'd suggest waiting 'til at least 6 monthes or a year.(AT LEAST!)
If you cannot talk to each other about sexual diseases than you are not ready for sex. You deffinately need to ask him if he has been tested and etc, this way you and him can talk about different forms of protection.
And if he isn't willing to use a condom then he isn't worth it, and I'd suggest you dump him or at least not have sex with him.
You'll kind of just know if you want to do "it" with him, it should feel right. Most of the time sex isnt perfect, especially since your doing it for the first time.
Sorry its so long. I hope I helped you some. Good luck!!
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It is a tricky situation considering you are already ahving regrets before naything has happened. It is hard to make that decision without feeling some sort of regret. When people do that after they get married they know that it is the right time. That is why our tradition tries to follow in that step. It is right thing to do and it makes the couple feel relieved before and after it happens. It is a very hard decision to make and most people don't relize that the times have changed. It is not a decision for you to make alone you need talk to your boyfriend. If you can have this conversation then you are more than likely ready but if it feels awkward or you just don't want to bring it up it is not the right time. The relationship has a 50% either way, it is more about whether you are willing to take the risk. I would say maybe wait a year because it seems more appropriate. Four months is not really the time, if it is the right time you will know it. It is time of no regrets before and after. Make a list of all the positive things from doing this and the negatives. This will give you an idea of where you stand when choosing which path you want.
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You are NOT ready to have sex if you think sex is something you GIVE to your partner.
Sex is not a gift or a bribe. You don't give it someone to make them stay with you, or to make them happy.
Only whores give "it", and they do it to make money.
Mature women and men in relationships can make the choice to share something with thier partner.
Sex is something you should do because you want too, because you are curious and excited about the idea and (most importantly) because you are perpared for the possible consequences of the act.
You don't have ANY of those. You don't want to have sex. You aren't excited about the idea. You are not prepared to handle the problems, even the emotional ones, that it might cause.
There is no right time to give it to someone. There is a right time to share sex with a loving partner, but you aren't there yet, so stop worrying about it. If it comes up in conversation, just say no.
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