about

"Do not pity the dead, Harry. Pity the living, and, above all those who live without love" - Albus Dumbledore

Hi, I'm Laura. I'm a senior in college & I'm slowly deciding what I want to do with my life. I love Harry Potter, coffee, writing, and sleeping (amongst other things). I'll never claim to know everything, but I'm confident in my ability to help people with their problems. Feel free to send me an inbox question; I'll get back to you!




A few thoughts I've gathered from my teenage years (and being on this site for most of them!):
1. If you Google song lyrics, the song will come up 99% of the time.
2. Dress to fit your body type, and buy the size that fits. If you're a size 6, squeezing into a 4 won't make you look skinnier. It makes you look fat when you aren't.
3. You will never regret waiting to lose your virginity.
4. There is such a thing as a stupid question, but we're all allowed to ask them.




BU 2014 :)


wicked awesome conversations

^my forum, liven it up a little?

advice

I just saw my gyno and he started me on the Nuva Ring and he knows I was already on my 3rd day of my period and he told me to go home and put the Nuva Ring in now.. but I usually use the soft cups as well and he knows this. I just wanted to Know is it alright for me to have the Nuva ring in and use the soft cups at the same time? -N-

I don't see why not.

- http://divacup.com/how-it-works/your-first-questions/


Just be sure that the NuvaRing remains in place when removing the cup (many of them can create suction).


Once your cycle evens out, you won't even have your "period" for most of the time when the ring's in (except possibly spotting towards the end) because you remove the ring to have a withdrawal bleed.


-LM
[21/f]

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I really dont like my nose. I think i want to get it done when im older. My nose has a nice bridge and the nostrils arent too wide, its just that its round... too round! Ha : )
Its not a hugeproblem, i just feel that if it were a little more sqaure ish , i would be prettier overall.
Its like eva longoria, before her nose surgery w/o the points
I want it to look like either her before or after, but you get theidea-right?

Im hoping you can talk me out of it
Or
Talk me into it
Or
Just give me the details on rhinoplasty

You haven't said how old you are, but I'd definitely wait until you are at least in your early 20s and can pay for the surgery.

Your face will change before then, and you may grow to like your nose. And your face shape will likely change until you're done growing.


I really do believe in natural beauty and all that, but I also believe that fixing flaws is perfectly okay if the person is otherwise secure and confident in their looks - otherwise, it's a slippery slope and you look like Heidi Montag...


Furthermore, I'm not a religious person, but I remember hearing this logic years ago:
Person 1: I'm getting a nose job.
Person 2: BUT GOD MADE YOU THAT WAY!!!
Person 1: God also made people who grew up to be plastic surgeons.


I wanted a nose job in the worst way when I was younger. I inherited most of my dad's looks and I would have much preferred my mom's nose shape. Now, I've grown to not hate my nose and have learned contouring and makeup techniques that make me feel better about it.

At the same time, if I were to ever break, or otherwise mess up, my nose and needed reconstructive surgery, I'd tell them to make my nose less bulbous and round when they were putting it back together!


So think about it, and wait until you can easily pay for the procedure. It's your body and your decision.


-LM
[21/f]

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hey i wanted to kno where can i find mcdonalds slip risistant sshoe at cheap ?

Payless. In fact, many locations give you a coupon to buy the shoes. Ask your manager; they might be able to order them for you.

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!7/f. I just finished five months on Isotretinoin, aka, Accutane. One side effect to the medicine was to make everything dry. When my dermatologist explained why, I didn't doubt him but I didn't think he meant everything! My eyes have been wacky since I've finished my time on this medicine. I have a small base with flowers in it and small lights on the end of stems, these bulbs happen to be even smaller than christmas lights, yet when I wake up in to morning, I can barely look at these lights without squinting or having my eyes profusely water. I could look at these lights no problem because of their size, they were never bright to me before. So, my question is, since I have finished, my acne has vanished and I am now done on this medicine, will the moisture return to my face and eyes again or is dry eyes and having to squint at every light going to be an ongoing thing for me forever now? Thank you for your time.

It should return to normal once all the medication is out of your system. Dry eyes/mouth/skin are VERY common side effects of many medications, including Accutane.
- https://www.ipledgeprogram.com/ has a list of the reasons why it's such a restricted medication.


Accutane is basically a massive dose of vitamin A & it's a requirement (at least in the US) that females go on birth control as well - and a common side effect of birth control pills is changes in vision (usually, though, it changes the moisture level and makes it harder to wear contacts). Anyway, if you were also prescribed birth control (not sure if countries besides the US do this) that might have caused your problem too.


If you are experiencing any other vision problems, pain, etc, definitely talk to your doctor or eye doctor as soon as you can. That could indicate a more serious issue.


Also it's possible that something else has caused your eyes to feel dry and be more sensitive to light. It's been five months on the medication, so the seasons have changed and it's possible that pollen levels are higher than usual, for example.


-LM
[20/f]

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I want to dye the under side of my hair black but since it is the summer I want to go swimming at the local pool. How fast will they dye fade if I go swimming about every other day to everday?

It'll fade pretty quickly, especially with daily washing. Your best bet would be waiting until fall, or tying your hair up while you swim to avoid exposure to chemicals and the resulting need to shampoo. If you DO dye your hair now, be sure to deep condition your hair frequently, and consider buying a protecting spray or even putting conditioner into your hair before you swim (it makes a barrier). Back when I would dye my hair in the summer, I'd use a leave-in spray conditioner from Aussie and it seemed to help prevent fading.


Also, true black dye is almost impossible to remove from hair - most people have to strip their hair to get it out and it can't be dyed over. I'd suggest a very dark brown (which will LOOK black at first, anyway, before it starts fading) to reduce the damage to your hair even further, at least until you're sure that you're willing to have black hair until it grows out/strip it out.


-LM
[20/f]

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I've gone and gotten acrylic nails done professionally before but I've never brought my own nail polish.
I would like to get my nails done using this polish:
http://www.blush.com/product_Luxurious+Nail+Color+-+Across+The+Universe_37135.htm
But I'm not sure if glitter nail polish can be done with acrylic nails since I've never seen or had it done before.
So, will this be okay?

I've seen people do that before. Glitter polish is harder to take off (fake or real nails) but it shouldn't be an issue and won't do any damage.


-LM
[20/f]

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my 21 year old daughter has been sentenced to 5 months in the county jail (She never did anything like this before and it was a big shock) and I told her I don't really feel sorry for her because she committed the crime and she needs to do the time and maybe it will be a good learning experience and toughen her up. Is this too harsh? Am I a bad person for saying this?

I don't think so. If it was clearly her fault and she wasn't influenced by, say, an abusive relationship or anything, she ought to learn her lesson.

That being said, no one is perfect. Don't abandon her, or hold it against her for the rest of your life. Visit her at the jail and make sure she knows she's still got a family to come back to (or you, whatever the situation is).

But don't lie or pull strings to save her butt or anything. It could encourage future misbehavior if she knows you'll just come save her every time.

-LM
[20/f]

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Will you rate these names in order of your favorite to least favorite. Or just tell me your favorites of these names. I think I've got them in the order I would use them, but tell me what you think. I know that Aaron and Gabriel are my favorite boy names because they are after somebody. I'm not sure whether I like Addy or Alexia better for a girl name, but they're for sure my two favorites

Aaron Bennett
Gabriel Heath
Christian Phillip
Matthew David "Matt"
Adam Paul
Connor Paxton
Anthony Joseph "Tony"
Jude Daniel
Luke James
Nicholas Andrew "Nick"
William Trent "Will"

Addison Teresa "Addy" (Teresa is my mom's name)
Alexandria Iris or Ann (Ann is after my late grandmother) "Alexia"
Gia Elizabeth or Gia Danielle
Tatum Danielle
Ruby Ann (Ruby is after one of the biggest influences in my life)

First off, THANK YOU for picking normal, respectable names for your future child.

I like Gabriel, and it'd also sound nice with the middle name Christian. I also like Luke James, but I would suggest making their given name Lucas. Luke can be their nickname, but I think Lucas is a better name to use professionally.

I like the first two girls names the best! If you have a girl, I'd wait until they were born and pick what fits them. But, I'm partial to Alexandria because I love Alexia as a nickname!

The only name I don't like is Tatum. It just doesn't sound right as a girls name to me.

Good luck!
- LM
[20/f]

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Hey there, 18/f
Okay so I had sex back in march around the 16th 17th. I had just finished my period. It's now June and I haven't got a period since.
Bearing in mind I am usually extremely irregular and sometimes skip a month completely. So initially I wasn't worried. However I have never gone this long.
I have taken two clear blue pregnancy tests and both times showed I wasn't pregnant.
So basically I'm just wondering how reliable these results are to go on? I plan to see my doctor within the next week if it still hasn't arrived.
I was on medication for seven months and actually only came off in march. Could that also be a reason?
I know stressing about it can delay it further but I'm actually not stressed at all I just came back from two weeks of travelling so my mind was completely else where until now.
I just don't want to be one of those girls who didn't know she was pregnant lol
Any advice appreciated :)
Oh and I'm currently not on the pill.

They're pretty accurate. If you were that far along, it'd be showing up on a home test by now, unless they were expired or something.


Definitely have a doctor test you - their tests are more accurate & they can also do ultrasounds (to make sure there isn't something else causing the lack of periods).


-LM
[20/f]

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Hey do you know if there is a place you can go and create your own pillow? I mean like design the pillow and then make it the way you like it then the place sews it and stuffs it and sells it to you? Kinda like build-a-bear but for pillows? If not, is it really hard to learn how to sew your own pillows instead?

It's easy to make your own. You can buy cotton batting at any craft/sewing store, or use an existing pillow and make a new cover for it.


You can buy pillowcases at Target pretty cheap. $10 for standard/queen, $15 for king; they're solid colors or basic patterns. I've had a set on my bed for about a year and washed them several times and they look like new. All I did to them was attach some ribbon with this nifty iron-on fabric tape. Anyway it was great, and would work perfectly if you want a bed pillow.


If you want a throw pillow, you can:
A. Make a cover for an existing pillow (preferably an ugly one that's comfy) with fabric (or a pillowcase cut to size)
B. Buy a new pillow and glue/sew things on it.
C. Make a fabric pillowcase and stuff it with cotton batting.

You can also use Cafepress; however I don't know how comfy they are or if it's a nice pillow. I've gotten tshirts from there, and they're awesome.
- http://www.cafepress.com/make/custom-pillows


Good luck!


-LM
[20/f]

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17/f me and my boyfriend have been dating for two years and I want to switch things up a bit try some new things make him happier. I'd really like some med advice but girls r welcome to anything helps.

We cannot give explicit sex advice on this site because of underage users. Google, magazines, and your imagination are all excellent resources for what you are seeking.


-LM
[20/f]

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So delias jackets are on sale right now because its spring time and I need a new pea coat type jacket for every day. I have a big down jacket for super cold or snowy days, so I wouldn't need this jacket to be THAT warm. I'm just wondering if the thinsulate makes it significantly warmer. Warm enough for the average midwest winter day. I'm a college student so I do a bit of walking. I have a spyder coat with whatever their brand of thinsulate type insulation is and it isnt warm at all! Its mostly just a shell for skiing though so I'm not sure if the ones delias makes are warmer or not. Has anyone had one?

I have one without Thinsulate, and it's plenty warm because I wear clothes under it too. And I like being able to wear it for longer. Yay, New England Winter/spring.


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i took the morning after pill (last thursday) about 32 hours after the condom broke. now (about 3 days later) i sometimes feel sharp pain in my abdomen and my nipples are tender.. is this due to the hormones of the morning after pill cause i read that it can have side effects up to a week after taking it. and i had my last period about 3 days before the condom broke so i think i wasnt fertil enough to get pregnant. so is this a normal side effect? i know its also a symptom for pregnancy but as i said i think its unlikely and i dont think i'd get these symptoms so early. my boyfriend and i had pretty .. erm rough sex as well so may that be the reason why my abdomen hurts sometimes? cause he was pretty deep... not when he came though.. the condom ripped when he pulled out.

You wouldn't be feeling pregnancy symptoms already. Far too soon. Cramping and pain is totally normal after taking the pill. It's most likely going to screw up your cycle for the next couple months (it might be off by days and I've heard of women skipping periods or having a wicked late one, while not being pregnant).


If you're more than two weeks late, take a pregnancy test. Sperm CAN live in your body for days. Assuming your cycles are regular, the condom broke when you weren't all that fertile (you're fertile typically around the middle of your cycle, if you're regular).


Consider using a more reliable form of birth control in the future. Hormonal birth control is highly effective. And, don't be scared off from hormones because of the morning after pill experience - there's a much lower, consistent dosage in birth control pills. Condoms can still be used for extra peace of mind and should be used for STD/STI protection.
- not trying to sound like your mom, just to avoid future scares!


-LM
[20/f]

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after masturbating i started bleeding and it happens more than once,what do you think is the cause of this?

You're probably being too rough. Trim your fingernails and smooth your cuticles, and try using some lubrication next time.


But, if you're bleeding for unexplained reasons at other times, see a doctor about it.


-LM
[20/f]

[view]

I don't think my boyfriend's mom likes me. I mentioned this once to my boyfriend but he said, "No, she LOVES you!"

Go with what my boyfriend said or go with my gut? Can't you tell when someone doesn't like you?

Your boyfriend is probably telling the truth. I always thought my ex's mom hated me, but never actually asked. We're still friends and I brought it up once day, and he said that his mom actually really did like me, haha. So my gut feeling was totally wrong - and it usually isn't.


Assuming your boyfriend is close (or reasonably so) with his mother, he will probably value her opinion and only want to date a girl she approves of. If you trust your boyfriend, trust what he's telling you.


If there's a particular incident making you think that she doesn't like you, ask him about it, but otherwise accept his answer and don't nag him about it.


-LM
[20/f]


[view]

18/f

I got my cartilage pierced about two months ago. Basically I was kinda careless with it and never really cleaned it. The other day it was hurting me so I took out my earring and noticed a bump on the back of my ear. I popped it, and woke up the next day with my ear being slightly swollen and in pain. I'm thinking that my hands were dirty and infected the piercing. I also noticed that my lymph nodes were swollen under my ear later that night. I soaked my ear with ear cleaner for 5 minutes, applied neosporin, and took advil. Today I noticed that my lymph nodes are a little less swollen and my ear is less swollen and in less pain. Is there anything else I can do to help it heal? Also, I've seen a lot of scary pictures of people with piercing infections. Will my ear swell up hugely only if I take out the earring? And do I need to see a doctor?

You're supposed to leave the earring in; taking it out before the 8-12 week healing period can cause an infection (as you learned the heard way) I would put the earring back in if you can, and NOT take it out again. if you don't put the earring back in and there's still a hole, you're leaving it more open to infection.


I'd see a doctor to be on the safe side, they'll probably prescribe a course of antibiotics if they determine it's a bacterial infection - it's possible it's just scar tissue. Better safe than sorry, though


-LM
[19/f]

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18/f
Me and my boyfriend have been dating for a little over a year now and we have a pretty good relationship(: The only thing is that he friend requests a lot of girls on facebook. It bothers me that he does this but i see it when i get on his facebook sometimes. If he isn't trying to get with other girls, then why does he keep adding them? He friend requests them.

You haven't given us a lot of information. From what I can gather with what you DID tell us, you're jealous that he has Facebook friends that happen to be female. If you're so insecure in your relationship that you only want him to be friends with guys, there's something else wrong here. Believe it or not, he might just be adding them as friends because he's friends with them. People are often friends with both sexes; this is normal.


If, however, he's being shady about it, hiding the fact that he has a girlfriend, etc, then you can ask why he's dating you if he is still interested in acting single.


-LM
[19/f]

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im getting a labtop for christmas for college..i know nothing about computers other than my current labtop is huge and the slowest thing ever. any suggestions on what kind? i dont want a clunker so sleek and fast? is apple good for that price? or any cheaper suggestions/what to look for in one

Dell laptops kind of suck - I know people who have them and all of them seem to have issues with them at some point or another. However, they have pretty good warranties from what I've heard - so, chances are, you'll have a problem, but it'll be fixed.


I have an HP laptop and absolutely love it; I've had zero problems with it for two years besides a battery life issue (but I had a warranty, so it wasn't a problem to fix it). Batteries are replaceable on PCs, so it wasn't a concern for me. I got an "entertainment" PC and it had a 15" screen, which somewhat big for carrying around all the time, but still portable (it's just kinda heavy). HP has a few 13" laptops that are quite slim, I'd say they look similar to a Macbook Pro because of streamlined edges. I'd definitely recommend HP if you want a PC.


As for Apple, you're paying for the name, slightly faster processors, and having a Mac operating system. It really depends on what programs you're going to use. Many common programs won't run on a Mac unless you install Windows too, but there are some programs that are exclusive to Mac, primarily in film editing.


So basically it comes down to how much money you want to spend. A PC will be cheaper & can be custom-made, while an Apple product will be more expensive, generally nicer looking, and have some program limitations. Also, Dell has a ton more color options, if that's important to you.


-LM
[19/f]

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Hey Im 16 and a senior in highschool. I met this guy in an interschool competition. He's the same age but is a senior in some other school. We started talking after the competition and became good friends. We have gone out on three dates till now. And yeah, we have kissed each other and made out a little. We cannot resist each other at all. And hence the makeouts were a mutual desicion. I am falling for him. But the problem is that even though he says he is falling for me, he keeps on telling me he cannot date me cause he's a bad guy and he cares for me too too much to hurt me. He says he is not one of those dateable guys who will love their girl completely and he might find a new girl and dump me.That would hurt me and he doesnt want to do that! He hasnt had a past record of cheating or anything it's just that he tells me he wants to be sure before he asks a girl out that he will be completely loyal to her and not flirt around with other girls. He also liked this girl a year back and he says he feels guilty that he got over her and fell for me! But when we meet we actually act like we are dating, cause he gets me stuff, he tells me he loves me, we hold hands. we actually act like a couple in love. we also talk all the time. I dont know what to do. Because I really want to be with him. But cant figure out how to make him ask me out? and if he is really a bad guy? HELP.

xx
Tanvi.

Something is obviously keeping him from dating you, and honestly the fact that he was so up front about his inability to be in an exclusive relationship is a pretty strong indicator that he isn't boyfriend material.


It sucks, but he probably won't change, at least not now. It's not unusual for a guy his age to not want to be tied down, so no matter how much he likes you he won't date you exclusively. Be happy that he was honest with you about it, and try to move on.

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Is 5'7 tall for a girl?

Not really, you're obviously not short, I'd say you're slightly above average height. However, a lot of my friends are five feet tall in heels haha. You're normal. Don't get so hung up over your height & just embrace it! Not like you can change it, right?


You're fine, and don't be self-conscious about wearing heels, either. Confidence is the best accessory.


-LM
[19/f]

[view]

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