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what does that mean when you ask God to show you a sign? i ask it to show me a sign of what should i do to understand my self. i see it as just happen just cause or maybe it was a sign....? did you ever ask for a sign and it showed and did it work? (link)
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Those who look for signs from God will find them everywhere. Those who don't believe in them will never see them. (I'm in the latter group, by the way.)
I would mistrust "Signs from God" for the reason that they are rarely easily interpreted. If you see something that you think is a Holy Sign, then consider that a dozen people might see the same thing and interpret it in a dozen different ways. Susan B. Anthony once made a wise remark:
"I distrust those people who know so well what God wants them to do because I notice it always coincides with their own desires."
When you see a sign, think carefully about whether it's only "telling" you what you want to hear. For instance, let's say that you ask God if you should get married, and then you see a wedding ring lying in the street. What could this mean? Perhaps you're meant to get married - after all, there is a wedding ring! But wait a moment; this wedding ring is in the street, being stepped on and kicked. How could that be a positive sign? Someone must have thrown it away, so they must have been pretty upset about their marriage. This must be a sign that you should NOT get married! On the other hand... and so on.
Maybe someone just had slippery fingers and the ring fell off, and God had nothing to do with it.
Maybe signs from God are real - maybe they're not. But if they are real, then they're also pretty useless on a practical level, unless they come with written instructions.
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im 14, neerly 15 nad a girl and was jst wanting to ask if i am a slut. coz a few gurls in my school keep callin my that, and a few boys. well a few months ago i had my first experiance with sex. i was at a boys house with two of his mates and we started messing around, and i gave my first blowjobs to them. and cuple of weeks later i had sex with one of them and now were going out as a cuple, but still hanging out with his mates. some of d gurls in ma school hav had sex too but they r callin me a slut, n ma bf ses it sumtyms when im going down on him. i dont get it coz ppl dont call those girls sluts. am i really a slut? (link)
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Don't be too quick to label yourself. Sometimes, these things can be self-fulfilling.
You did make a mistake. Fourteen is too young to be having sex, including oral. In addition, if I'm reading your letter right, you gave oral sex to three boys at pretty much the same time. This is pretty much the definition of "slutty" behavior: a girl who is indiscriminate about her sex partners. My guess is that one or more of them talked about it and the story got out.
So, I would have to say that you made your bed and now you're sleeping in it. You indulged in "slutty" behavior, and so that is how people are defining you. It is not how you must define yourself, however. You made one mistake; you don't have to let that mistake determine who you are.
One thing I would recommend is to find a new boyfriend. He seems to be the sort of guy who gets off on having a "slut" for a girlfriend; the reason why he's calling you this while you're going down on him is because the idea of it gets him excited. And because of that, he's probably encouraging your reputation as a "slut", and may even try to get you to do things that will enhance that. To put it mildly, this guy is not good for you.
Unfortunately, some of the damage is done, and you might not be able to shake this label for as long as you're in high school. If you want to be able to re-identify yourself later on, though, you'll want to start changing your behaviors now.
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whats the difference between a blowjob and a handjob?
and do you think that 13 is to young to give either?
thanks (link)
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With a blowjob, one uses the mouth.
A handjob, as the name says, is done only with the hand.
And yes, 13 is too young to do either of these things. For proof, look over this website and see all the 13 or 14-year-olds who are now panicked about their reputation since they did it. Boys in your age group are not known for being able to keep secrets of that nature.
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Is it true that most girls like sex and thinking about it as much as guys do, like they love doing sexual things as much as guys do so if you just ask them they will most likely say yes?? (link)
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Yes to the first. No to the second.
Yes, girls like sex and they think about it as much as guys do. In principle, they love doing sexual things just as much - though what they like varies among individuals, of course.
However, just asking them and expecting a "yes" isn't generally going to work.
First of all, that doesn't work so well with guys either. Think about it - would you be willing to perform any sexual act a girl asked of you, on demand? I can't imagine that you would willingly perform ANY sexual act requested of you. By the tone of your question, I'm guessing you're pretty young, and believe me: there are a great deal of sexual acts that you haven't heard of or imagined yet. You're not going to like them all.
Second, what women find sexually exciting is not usually the same as what men like. There is a biological difference in how we're wired, so to speak. While most men get turned on by the idea of multiple partners and frequent, short-duration sex acts, women tend to prefer greater intensity with a single partner and long-term commitment. Of course, this is all a matter of generalities; there are always exceptions on both sides.
Also, bear in mind that women have more to risk when it comes to sex. Usually men are larger and stronger than women, and therefore women tend to be more vulnerable when it comes to sex. It is an act of trust on both sides, but men have a certain advantage in that they are generally physically capable of putting a stop to it if they so choose; women can have a harder time doing so if it comes to it. And, of course, there is the fact that it is the woman who runs the risk of unwanted pregnancy. Technically, a man can get a woman pregnant and then just walk away (though it is indecent and dishonorable to behave in such a way). Women can't simply decide not to have anything to do with a fetus growing inside them!
Finally, there is a social stigma that is unequally applied to the sexes. A man who is promiscuous will be considered a "stud" and receive praise and admiration from his fellows* - a woman will be regarded as a "slut", and will be shunned and abhorred. It's a double standard, but it exists nonetheless.
*(Note - there's really nothing to be proud of about having large numbers of sex partners. A real man measures his capacity for love and affection by quality, not quantity).)
So yes, women are just as sex-obsessed as men, overall. It's just that social pressures and basic realities make it so they don't generally express it as much.
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my friend been ask out by 3 guys and she trun them all down. she doesnt know why all sudden she became popural with the guys and i told her it just happens.
she said that she wants to wait till after college. but the more you wait the more your love life goes down the hill, right?
i dont care when someone ask me out cause i dont want to wait for the right time it just happens. (i always had feelings for her)
i ask her what kinda guy she is looking for her reply is
"no idea"
i laugh and said"no idea, so you dont know who you looking for?"
she said"nope i dont know, maybe someone funny i guess?"
(i thought to myself well i'm funny and i love to make her laugh.)
does she mean me? i told her "well i'm looking for someone who likes me who i am" she laugh and said "yeah okay if that happens" and i said "i agree with that"
(cause i'm such a hot head and i dont think someone can handle that.) but she can and i was trying to hint her that i mean her, i want someone like her.
so what you think?
was there something going on? (link)
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In order to answer this, it would really be helpful to know your gender. As it is, I'll answer it twice.
(1) Assuming you're a guy -
It's entirely possible that the reason she hasn't been taking anyone up on their offers is because she's waiting for YOU to make a move. Maybe you're both dancing around the issue and waiting for the other one to say something, but neither of you dares to do it because it really sucks when you admit to a friend that your feelings go deeper than friendship and they don't feel the same. And, of course, it is also possible that friendship IS all she feels for you.
You don't know. And that's part of the game of love. You have to take chances.
But don't drop suddenly to one knee and declare your undying love. If she happens to feel the same way, that will work, but otherwise it will scare the hell out of her and ruin any chance you'll ever have. You need to approach the situation carefully, feel your way, and give her a chance to get used to this new way of seeing you. Use your previous conversation as an intro:
"You know how the other day we were talking about what kind of guy or girl we were each looking for to go out with? Well, I was thinking about it, and it sounded to me like we were describing each other... was it just me?"
Take her hand at this point and look her in the eyes. She'll get what you're driving at.
If she turns you down initially, DON'T despair or otherwise lose it. She may yet come around, but it sometimes takes time for people to see old friends in a new light. Just tell her that you understand, but you hope that she won't write you off completely, and point out the advantages like how she knows she can trust you and that you already get along so well.
There's a chance that she'll never come around, in which case you'll just have to get used to the idea. It may become very difficult for you to watch her dating other guys and such, and your friendship may not survive that. But it's better than never trying, and never knowing whether it might have been.
(2) If you're a girl -
Most of the above applies as well, but there's another element there which is that it's far less likely that she'll return those feelings - in fact, she may be totally freaked out by them. You'll need to avoid giving her the double-shock of (a) your orientation, and (b) the fact that you're attracted to her. Breach those subjects one at a time, and make sure she can deal with the first one before you spring the second one on her.
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aha well you answered my question about the guy who likes me etc and well thanks :]
aha i just wanted to talk b.c you gave like the best answer :P
aha ill def. use most of your advice :]
thanks ♥ Sabina xox (link)
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I'm glad I was able to help! Your kinds of questions are the ones I most enjoy answering, because I wish I had advice about these sorts of things when I was in high school.
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Is it normal for an 18 yr old girl to be addicted to wathing gay porn (guys having sex with guys - especially when oral sex is given)?
(I also love watching girls giving oral sex to other girls)
So is this considered normal?? (link)
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If you really mean "addicted" in that you can't get by without it or that watching porn is having a seriously negative affect on your life, then no, it's definitely not normal, and you probably should seek counseling.
However, if you just mean that you enjoy it... then it's still not entirely normal, in the sense that it is rather unusual. But that doesn't mean it makes you a pervert or something, just that you have a particular turn-on that is unusual. A great many men have a thing for watching two women; there's really no difference.
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well my problem here is that my best buddy is cheating on his girlfriend.I talk to her, I mean we are schoolmates and we talk right, but I dont know what to do because I know my buddy is cheating on her but I dont know whether to tell her or not because if i tell her my buddy is gonna get mad but if I dont and she finds out, she'll be mad at me...I dont wanna lose any of them what should I do??... (link)
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Tough situation.
I think one thing you should do no matter what is tell your buddy that while his life and his relationships are his business, you're not going to support his dishonesty. Make it clear that you won't run interference for him or lie for him.
Now, one thing that makes a difference is what you mean by "cheating". If, for instance, you've seen him kissing other girls or getting together with them for coffee, then probably you should stay out of it. It sucks that he's treating her that way, but no real physical harm is being done. If you're talking about sex, however, then that's a bigger deal - he's putting her health at risk, and she deserves to know.
The question then becomes, how do you tell her?
That depends in large part on your buddy. If you advised him to break it off with her or to stop cheating because what he's doing isn't right, do you think he would listen? Does he actually feel like he's doing anything wrong? If the answer to those questions is "No", then you can't expect him to do anything about it.
One thing you could do would be to pass the news through one of HER friends. This has the advantage in that it gives you a certain degree of protection - you can deny that she heard it from you. However, it also has the potential to distort the truth through the rumor mill, and things might get out of hand. Furthermore, it's not her friend's business, so you'd be bringing in a third party who shouldn't have to be involved.
Of course, you can also just tell her directly. If I were you, I would give her information that would allow her to catch your buddy in the act - that way, she has more than just your word to go on, and when she confronts her cheatin' boyfriend your name doesn't have to come up as the informer. (If she just says, "Someone told me you were cheating," then he's going to want to know who told her that, and eventually he's going to find out it was you.)
In the end, people are going to be upset over this, and you probably will end up "losing" one of these two friends, because they won't want to be around each other anymore. Like I said, it's a tough situation, but in a case like this, your sympathies should be with the innocent party - in this case, your buddy's girlfriend.
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hey :] 15/f
okay. there's this hot guy i met through my brothers soccer (hes older and he helps out b.c hes coaches son). last week we talked for so long and stayed like 45 mins after practice just to talk. He added me on msn and we talk there too. He asks me if i have a b.f (then i say no and he says im smart:P) and he tells me im cute and he said he lets beautiful girls like me call him. He always compliments me when we talk face to face (like i bet you're really good and im more interested in your pilates then my workout etc.) He goes to another school though so i cant see him everyday(N) My question is does he like me? (link)
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He finds you attractive - that's fairly certain. Whether that's a good thing or not is less certain.
From what little you say about this guy, he sounds fairly creepy to me. Start with the fact that he's "older" - how much older? If you're talking 17 or 18, then that's normal; any older than that and it seems a little odd that he would be interested in dating a 15-year-old girl. If he's in his twenties, then I'd definitely be leery of him (picture yourself in your twenties - would you court a 15-year-old boy?)
He seems to be dishing out the flattery, seeing how you respond. Now, I'm not saying that you aren't deserving of compliments, but the line that really gets me is that "he lets beautiful girls like me call him." He LETS them call him?? Like it's some kind of great privilege to talk to this guy on the phone? How big is this guy's ego, anyway? I mean, it's a good thing you didn't have a pimple that day; he might have decided that you were unworthy of calling him. Give me a break...
Another thing - he says you're "smart" not to have a boyfriend. Read between the lines, and you'll see that he's clearly not one to value commitment. Now, there's nothing wrong with dating a bunch of people as long as everyone knows that's the deal, but don't count on any kind of exclusive relationship with this guy. He might also mean that you're smart not to have a boyfriend because boys can be real jerks - thus providing himself with an excuse up front to act like one when he feels like it.
Maybe I've got entirely the wrong idea - I've never met him or you - but my advice here would be to tread carefully. This guy seems really shallow, and he has "user" written all over him. At least try to get some independent information on him before getting your hopes up.
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In response to feedback...
Okay, if he's only 16, then that makes a difference; he's probably just trying to be charming as best he can. Those kinds of lines from someone who's college-age would be pretty pathetic, but from someone younger, it's to be expected (I was 16 once too, and I said a number of things a lot cornier things than that).
Since you have independent opinions that say he's a nice guy, and since your family and friends seem to like him, I'd say go for it; he's showing you every sign that he's into you. I still think he's probably commitment-shy, but that's not necessarily a bad thing, just something to keep in mind.
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is there a way to keep a program, example google talk,
running without wasting energy? like when i go on stand
by, the program shuts down. & obviously the same
with shutting down.
i'm talking about during the night - the times when i'm
not at the computerr?
thankss :] (link)
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The only thing you can really do that will save energy and leave the program running would be to turn off the monitor - and if you have a flatpanel monitor, that won't save much. It will also help if the room is cool so that your computer's fan won't have to work so hard, but it's not going to save energy to crank the AC just to keep the computer comfy, so that will only help if the room is already cool.
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I'm a 25-year old New Yorker who generally enjoys her life - I have a great job, good friends and lots of hobbies. However, my on-again/off-again boyfriend of 3 years makes me too miserable to enjoy all this.
During the times we've been together and the times we've been far apart (I went away to grad school last year, and meanwhile he took a job in Boston) there has been incredibly intense passion between us. We fight and cry, but our resolutions are amazingly intense as well. Our 'downs' usually result from his being unhappy (he is quite unhappy and critical by nature) and taking it out on me; however, this makes the 'ups' feel so good... like I've won him over or something. In recent years, he's done things like moving all the way back to NY to be with me, before backing out and deciding that to be with me would be 'unfair to me'. Sometimes we date, sometimes we just sleep together, sometimes we don't talk for months. The roller coaster is an intense and heartbreaking ride. I know deep down that a good relationship should be more stable, and that he is too messed-up be able to give me that. But I am also addicted to his drama and passion, and I love him - I find myself wanting to stick with him until he is well enough to treat me right.
I'm sure it sounds as if I already know what I need to do - and I do, intellectually. But it's been years and I just can't seem to internalize that understanding. My emotions just won't comply. I was truly in love with him - and now I stay up at night depressed that being in love doesn't really mean anything. I miss him terribly and cry nearly every day; I can't take other men that I date seriously. I could really use a male perspective on what my options are.
Thank you...
(link)
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I have already answered your question:
http://www.advicenators.com/qview.php?q=484405
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well the maid my mother hired for a year now is sexy!!! Its just me and her alone in the weekends cause my mothers working.. im know this sounds crazy but its true, when my mothers home she dresses appropriate then when my mothers not home she dresses with hardly nothing on in the weekends ,and i know its to tease me cause ive caught her a few times staring down at my you know what!! I want to know things i could do to get her aroused with me, i know shes playing this game with me so i want to play it back secretly!!! How do i aroused a woman without her noticing im doing it in purpose?im 23 n shes 34. (link)
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This situation would make for a passable sitcom plot or even a letter to Penthouse, but in real life, it's got "danger" all over it. Be aware that if you pursue this, there are 100 different ways it could turn out in the end, and 99 of them are bad. Even if everything works the way I assume you want it to, it's fair to say that your mother would not be happy about it if she came home to find the two of you in a compromising position.
That having been said, there's plenty you can do to flirt and "arouse" her without attracting much suspicion at all. One of the simplest things you can do is to make sure you're looking your best on the weekends - put on clothes that look good on you, wear cologne (not too much, because you want to be subtle), and keep yourself well-groomed in general. This has the advantage in that it's not a bad idea to do those kinds of things anyway.
You can also start working out, preferably in some way that she'll see you doing it. Get a weight bench and start pumping iron, in a room where you can leave the door open and she can see you without having to try too hard. Again, this is a good method because it has its own benefits even if it doesn't turn her on.
However, as you embark on this flirtatious adventure, consider carefully that it is POSSIBLE that you're misreading her signs. There is a tendency for wishful thinking to take over when dealing with a sexy woman, particularly one who is right-there-but-unattainable. She might be dressed differently on the weekends NOT because you're there alone with her, but because her employer isn't there and she can get away with more comfortable clothes. She might be looking down at your you-know-what, but she might also be glancing downward because she's shy or something.
Be careful how you proceed! If you are misinterpreting her signals and respond with "signals" of your own, she may view that as sexual harassment, and your mother could be sued. This is one of the 99 bad outcomes I mentioned before.
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ok there is this kid that likes me, but i dont like him. he told me yesturday thru text and i couldnt write anything back. i dont want to tell him anything that will hurt him because i kno what it feels like to like someone who doesnt like you back. so how do i tell him, hurting him the least possible. thanks in advance!!! (link)
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One of my favorite all-purpose pieces of advice is this: If one must pull a tooth, it is mistaken kindness to do it slowly.
He's probably going to be a little hurt. There is nothing you can do about that, unfortunately; it is the nature of the game of love that sometimes people will feel attraction for those who don't feel it in return, and they will be hurt by it. The best you can do is tell him the truth, and do it with kindness.
I wouldn't recommend texting him back; that's awfully impersonal, and in fact I'm not very impressed with him that he told you that way. Besides, it's also barely within the realm of possibility that he didn't actually send that message; someone else might have done it under his name. For those reasons, you need to see him face-to-face, if it's at all possible.
Then be honest with him. Tell him that you simply don't have the same feelings for him in return. He might press the issue, saying "give me a chance" or "what's wrong with me?" The answer to the first is to say that you would rather not give him false hope. As for the second, you really don't owe him an explanation; all you need to tell him is, "I simply don't feel that kind of connection between us. Please don't make this harder than it needs to be."
If he continues to be persistent and won't be reasoned with, then you may be more abrupt and walk away if that's what it takes.
Here's what NOT to say:
"We can be friends." Don't say that unless you mean it. If what you really mean is, "I don't actually want to hang around you at all," than don't make an offer of friendship.
"I'm sure you'll find someone." That's just patronizing.
"You're a terrific guy." His natural response to that will be, "Bullcrap. If you really thought that, you'd go out with me."
It sucks to have to breaks someone's hopes, but he will get over it. Good luck.
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I'm Christian and when i masturbate i feel like I'm sinning from what I've seen on here (people on here say it is) Christians aren't allowed to. is that true. also I'm presbyterian not catholic so i don't have confessionals to confess if it is.. so if it is how can i un-sin lol.
(link)
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Gen.38:9-10
And Onan knew that the seed should not be his; and it came to pass, when he went in unto his brother's wife, that he spilled it on the ground, lest that he should give seed to his brother. And the thing which he did displeased the LORD: wherefore he slew him also.
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This passage in the Bible, in which a man essentially refuses to impregnate his brother's widow, is the basis for all the Church has to say about the sin of masturbation (it's also the entire basis for the Church's stance against birth control). There is NOTHING else in the entire book about the subject. (Actually, there is a bit in Leviticus that says you should wash yourself with water if you get any "seed" on you, but you're probably already doing that - see Lev 15:16-18.)
In other words, whatever your church has to say on the subject, it's clear that the Bible has very little to say - and the Bible has a LOT of specific rules about how and with whom one is permitted to have sex. A reasonable person would assume that since masturbation is not specifically mentioned, God isn't taking sides on this issue, and the Church's ideas have more to do with tradition and inertia than the Word of God.
So, my advice to you is this: Go for it and good luck!
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Hi, I'm a 20 year old lesbian and I've been in a relationship with my girlfriend for over 3 years. She's the first long term relationship I've ever had. I've been living with her for about a year and a half. She pays for everything for me, and the house is hers.
I'm the kind of girl who gets big crushes that last for months. But I never really got a crush on my girlfriend, I just started dating her because she seemed like she would make a nice girlfriend. So ever since we've been together I've still been getting crushes on other women. I haven't been with anyone else, but I don't know if I should just keep staying in this relationship just because we make a good couple. If I left then I'd have to move back in with my mom who is an even less tolerable choice. Besides, my girlfriend has been with me so long that she's gotten into the same habits and so if she left she might change, I might find that she was the best person out there after all, but then it would be too late.
Most of the time I don't even want to hug her and I don't know why. I really like her and enjoy being around her. Should I just stay in the relationship until I find someone that I do have passion for? (link)
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I'm a man, and I'm hetero. Hope you don't mind if I advise you.
Intimate relationships don't necessarily need intense passion; it is possible to have a perfectly happy, successful long-term commitment without feeling sparks fly every time she walks into the room. But if it's something you feel is missing and that you don't want to live without, then ultimately your relationship is doomed.
Normally, I'd say that you could stay together for as long as you're happy, but in your case there's a problem with that. She's essentially supporting you completely; she provides you with a home, companionship, a listening ear, and all your expenses are paid. It would not be right to stay with her for the sole purpose of having someplace to be while you look for someone else. There's a phrase for that: it's called "using someone".
She doesn't deserve that.
You need to tell her about your feelings, or lack thereof. It'll probably hurt, and you may find yourself thrown out, but it is the honest and right thing to do. She deserves to know if she is someone you're settling for until something better comes along. She may even be willing to change her habits to try to give you the passion you're looking for. It's worth a try.
One more thing: you need to find some way to be independent, financially and emotionally, before you can have a truly successful relationship. Being "trapped" with someone because you have nowhere else to go is not a good way to inspire feelings of love and affection. No matter what happens with your current girlfriend, get yourself a job and start contributing to the household. The best kinds of relationships, regardless of the gender of those involved, are based on equality.
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I get so scared when I babysit this kid named Tommy. Whenever I go over there, this person always calls saying, "Nice outfit," or "Is Tommy asleep yet?" I have told the parents, and asked them if anyone has called like that but they think I am joking. Assist please! (link)
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There is something seriously wrong here. Let me summarize what's happening:
(1) Tommy's parents go out, leaving their child with a sitter.
(2) Someone (the "Caller") knows that they are gone for the evening. He is obviously watching their house very, very closely.
(3) The Caller calls their house while they are out, and asks about their son, calling him by name. This guy has too much information to be a simple prank caller!
(4) He's also watching YOU. He knows that you are alone in the house, with only a young child, and he has an idea of how long you'll be alone. In other words, he knows exactly what his window of opportunity is.
(5) When the parents get home, you inform them that someone who meets every definition of a stalker is calling their house while they are out, asking specifically about their child, making comments that suggest he has an uncomfortable interest in you.
(6) They BLOW IT OFF.
I can tell you right now that NO normal person would react this way regarding a potential danger to their child, their home, or to a guest in their house (which you essentially are). For them to respond like this sends up all kinds of red flags. I can virtually guarantee this much: they KNOW who is calling you.
Here is what you need to do:
(1) Under no circumstances babysit for them again or visit their home for any other reason.
(2) Assuming you're under the age of 18, inform your parents of what's happened. Make sure they take it seriously. Don't let them laugh it off or tell you you're making a big deal over nothing. You have every reason to be scared. Convince them to get the police involved.
(3) Again, if you're under 18, your parents should talk to the people you sit for. This needs to be viewed as a threat to you, their home, and their child. Your parents should inform them that they intend to call the police and have the matter investigated. Phone records can be checked; there are ways to find out who's been calling.
(4) If you're over 18, go straight to the police yourself. Try to have dates and approximate times that you received the calls; they're unlikely to be able to do anything without that information.
Your life may be in danger. Do not delay.
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I think my friend is a lesbian, but I don't want to ask. She NEVER has crushes on any guys and if she has, she's never told me. I've caught her looking at girls butts and it's really creepy! One night we had a sleep over but i left some of my clothes at home. I asked to borrow hers but she insisted it would be fine with her if i slept in the NUDE!!!!!
Other times, we've had sleepovers and she'd change right in front of me. Most girls do that, but when i went to change in the bathroom, she freaked! she kept saying "we are both girls, why don't you feel comfortable around me?"
It probably wouldn't be good by saying i thought she wanted to take pictures of me but.....
i've joked around saying "what are you a lezbo?! Haha!" but she puts on like a pity smile and changes the subject.
Once i said it in front of other people and she was quiet for the rest of the night.
HELP!? it's creepy, she's into me!
(link)
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First of all, you're probably right.
Second, she's not necessarily into you. She can be a lesbian and not find YOU especially attractive - maybe you're not her type.
But here's what I think is going on: I think she probably DOES prefer girls, and she's testing the waters with you - not necessarily because she's fantasizing about you at night, but because she wants to know if you might have that in common.
DON'T freak out! Just because she is a lesbian, it doesn't mean she's a pervert or that she's lost all sense of decorum. She is still the same friend you've always had. I speak from experience; the best friend I ever had revealed to me that he was gay after I'd known him for five years (one of which was spent as his roommate in college). It did not change anything. It doesn't HAVE to change anything.
Unless...
She may actually be strongly attracted to you - she may be in love with you. That WILL change things, because you will be unable to return those feelings. Unfortunately, that may mean the end of your friendship, at least for now. Again, do not freak out about it; she can't help her feelings.
Whatever may be, here's the practical advice I have for you:
(1) Don't joke about her sexuality any more. I can guarantee you, it's no laughing matter to her. If she is a lesbian, then those kinds of comments will hurt her feelings; if she isn't, then you run the risk of untruthfully labeling her as such. If she's not sure, then you're not helping.
(2) There is no need for there to be an issue over your changing in separate rooms. Just tell her that that's the way you do it and you feel more comfortable that way, and that it has nothing to do with her. Incidentally, I don't know what you mean about "taking pictures", but if she wanted to photograph you nude, then you should definitely put an end to that idea immediately.
(3) If you really want to know the truth, you're not going to get it by saying, "what are you a lezbo?! Haha!" You will get it by sitting down with her in private and asking her in all seriousness whether it's true. But she's not going to tell you if she thinks you're going to have a five-alarm fit about it, so remain calm and take your truth straight up. Remember that you are friends, and friends must be able to trust each other to handle things like this.
(4) You're going to have to get over the "creepy" thing. Do you want her to be honest with you? If so, you can't have a problem with it when she expresses her natural appreciation for the female form. You ARE allowed to have a problem with it if her appreciation of YOU makes you uncomfortable, but if she's admiring some other girls' posterior, why should that be any skin off your back? Let her be who she is, so long as she grants you the same courtesy.
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Hey i'm 17f, and work at a small restrant. The bosses son is about 19/20 y.o. He always looks at me when im at work and comes and talks to me, gets stuff like drinks... (he dosn't do this for any one els).... I like him verry much, he's realy nice and realy good looking.
But i was wondering; would it be ok to go out with the bosses son?
all opinions accepted
thanx! (link)
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It comes down to this: can you afford to lose your job?
I'm not saying that would be the inevitable outcome; it's just that if the relationship goes bad, you're going to find it extremely uncomfortable working there any longer. There's also the strong possibility that your co-workers may come to feel that you are receiving preferential treatment. You'll need to make sure you can keep your personal life and your working life separate - that means you can't do things like kiss him while you're at work, or discuss what you'll do later or the fun date you had last night. In other words, he may (eventually) be your boyfriend after hours, but at work he's the boss' son.
But hey, this is one of the ways people meet people. If you can deal with the additional pressure, go for it!
(One thing, though - he should ask his dad first if it's all right. Not because your boss "owns" you or anything like that, but it would be courteous and will help to ensure that your boss will be OK with it.)
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why do guys think it is hot when a girl masturbates? (link)
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Because if there's one thing that's pretty much universal under the heading of stuff-that-turns-a-guy-on, it's a woman who's turned on. By definition, a woman who is masturbating is sexually excited, or at least she wants to be, or (in some cases) she's pretending to be. A guy will see that, and on some level he'll think to himself, "She obviously needs to have sex, and hey, I'm just the guy to provide it!"
There's also all the sighing, moaning, wriggling, and other actions that a masturbating woman might take that men associate with sex, and therefore find exciting.
Finally, men tend to like it when a woman performs for him, because men also love to be seduced (this is also fairly universal). Generally, men must pursue sex and put forth an effort to get a woman in the mood; when she doesn't need that effort, and actually provides her OWN mood-enhancement, it's like a ticket for a free ride.
One more thing - a lot of men don't like to see women use toys, like vibrators and such. That raises the question, "she's got me, why does she need that? Am I inadequate, or something?" So if you're doing it for you, do whatever you want; but if you're doing it for your guy, leave the plastic pals in the drawer.
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STORY: Even though every story happened to a different person I am going to pretend it happened to one individual named Caroline: (FIRST STORY) In the year 2003 a male clerk tells Caroline who does NOT weigh more than 110 pounds she weighs 130 and he said this with her standing behind a partition and all he could see of her was her arms and face and she was wearing a coat; (SECOND STORY) In July 2004 a chunky girl tells Caroline (a thin girl who is always told by strangers, relatives, and friends she is thin/skinny, looks like a size 4) that the chunky girl thinks Caroline is average and size 8, then pauses and adds in size 10; (THIRD STORY) In June 1991 a cousin asks Caroline are you a size 8 or 10 and when Caroline says size 8, the cousin said I thought so; (FORTH STORY) In September 1997 a vendor tells Caroline who is thin/skinny; you have to be a size 10, my daughter is a size 10 I am selling jeans which are a size 10; (FIFTH STORY) In August 1987 A masseuse tells Caroline who is thin/skinny with no cellulite "You should use a cellulite cream; (f) Caroline was standing behind the Xerox machine and asked another girl if she thought Caroline was thin, and first the girl said well in a hesitant voice but later on saw Caroline standing erect and told Caroline she is very thin, and only said well because she never sees Caroline standing; Caroline discussed the above stories with her friends and Carolines friends told her dont get bent out of shape about the above stories because either you received reassurance from the person who made the remark to you or you got reassurance from Wondir. MY QUESTION: Do you agree with Carolines friends? (Caroline is always told from strangers, friends, relatives she is thin/skinny and size 4)" (link)
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I'm going to go waaaaaay out on a limb and assume YOU are Caroline. (If you're not, then my advice to you is to mind your own business and let Caroline worry about her jeans size).
Therefore, assuming you are "Caroline", my advice to you is this: stop obsessing so much about your size. It's really unhealthy. I've taken the liberty of going back through Advicenators and I've found a lot of suspiciously similar questions to this one - apparently, you've been asking essentially the same thing again and again for months, possibly longer.
(looks like I answered one of them myself a couple of days ago - http://www.advicenators.com/qview.php?q=486766)
You need to see a psychologist, pronto. This level of obsession with your body simply isn't normal.
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