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i dont want to hurt him
ok there is this kid that likes me, but i dont like him. he told me yesturday thru text and i couldnt write anything back. i dont want to tell him anything that will hurt him because i kno what it feels like to like someone who doesnt like you back. so how do i tell him, hurting him the least possible. thanks in advance!!!
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you sound like a nice person trying to help him out. There is no right way to say it you have to just tell him up front and be honest
---------------> animalover658
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One of my favorite all-purpose pieces of advice is this: If one must pull a tooth, it is mistaken kindness to do it slowly.
He's probably going to be a little hurt. There is nothing you can do about that, unfortunately; it is the nature of the game of love that sometimes people will feel attraction for those who don't feel it in return, and they will be hurt by it. The best you can do is tell him the truth, and do it with kindness.
I wouldn't recommend texting him back; that's awfully impersonal, and in fact I'm not very impressed with him that he told you that way. Besides, it's also barely within the realm of possibility that he didn't actually send that message; someone else might have done it under his name. For those reasons, you need to see him face-to-face, if it's at all possible.
Then be honest with him. Tell him that you simply don't have the same feelings for him in return. He might press the issue, saying "give me a chance" or "what's wrong with me?" The answer to the first is to say that you would rather not give him false hope. As for the second, you really don't owe him an explanation; all you need to tell him is, "I simply don't feel that kind of connection between us. Please don't make this harder than it needs to be."
If he continues to be persistent and won't be reasoned with, then you may be more abrupt and walk away if that's what it takes.
Here's what NOT to say:
"We can be friends." Don't say that unless you mean it. If what you really mean is, "I don't actually want to hang around you at all," than don't make an offer of friendship.
"I'm sure you'll find someone." That's just patronizing.
"You're a terrific guy." His natural response to that will be, "Bullcrap. If you really thought that, you'd go out with me."
It sucks to have to breaks someone's hopes, but he will get over it. Good luck.
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First, to his face, you must sit him down and talk to him. Then you must tell him exactly what you've just written. I know, that's not any help. But thinking about it really isn't going to do anything about the situation, and your words are the truth. You can't help what you don't, in this case, feel for him. Its the truth, which your serving him in a compassionate way. The deliverance and the tone of your deliverance really shows that on some level, your concern of his feeling on a friend level shows that you care for him as a friend. Tell him that. It should make him feel better. Don't fret, you'll be fine.
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if i were you i'd just be honest with him. if your most comfortable texting, then text him back. tell him that you really like him, but only as a friend. and then say some nice things about him that will make him feel better about him self. tell him he's really nice and has a great sense of humor and is really cute but you think you just see him as a friend. that way he knows your not trying to be an asshole about it.
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