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My best friend might be a LESBO.
I think my friend is a lesbian, but I don't want to ask. She NEVER has crushes on any guys and if she has, she's never told me. I've caught her looking at girls butts and it's really creepy! One night we had a sleep over but i left some of my clothes at home. I asked to borrow hers but she insisted it would be fine with her if i slept in the NUDE!!!!!
Other times, we've had sleepovers and she'd change right in front of me. Most girls do that, but when i went to change in the bathroom, she freaked! she kept saying "we are both girls, why don't you feel comfortable around me?"
It probably wouldn't be good by saying i thought she wanted to take pictures of me but.....
i've joked around saying "what are you a lezbo?! Haha!" but she puts on like a pity smile and changes the subject.
Once i said it in front of other people and she was quiet for the rest of the night.
HELP!? it's creepy, she's into me!
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Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Friendship?
So here's the thing, she may be a lesbian, she may not be.
If she IS a lesbian, it shouldn't change any parts of your previous friendship. I know it will be really weird to adjust to that idea. But then again, being a lesbian shouldn't change anything, like I said.
If she isn't, then you may just be overreacting. Like most people below me said, she was probably kidding about most of that, and she may have changed the subject because she was hurt that you'd assume something like that.
Some of the people below me were really rude to you, and I'm sorry about that. I don't think that you're a homophobic bitch at all. I understand what is going through your head. Once you pick up on one strange thing she does, you start to over analyze everything she does. It's totally understandable.
I think what you need to do is really sit down with her and talk to her about it. Really hear her out, and make sure you have a gentle approach, and DON'T jump to conclusions. If she really seems confused by what you thought, you were probably overreacting, and then you two should just forgive and forget. Ok?
I hope I helped and good luck! :)
xoxo
Angell
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I think you are overreacting.
You've noticed things about her that make you think she might be a lesbian and this has got you paranoid, her actions are probably entirely innocent towards you. What you must remember is that just because she may be a lesbian, does not mean she is immediately attracted to every girl she sees, just as you aren't attracted to every guy you meet.
Yes, some of her actions could make her look like she is attracted to other girls but there could be completely innocent reasons behind them. I know plenty of girls who prefer not to discuss who they are attracted to or just aren't interested right now, it doesn't mean that they're homosexual, it just means that they don't want to share their private life or simply aren't interested in sexual relationships at the moment.
As for the nude/getting changed thing, there are a lot of people like that. My friends and I don't have a problem getting changed in front of each other because like your friend said, we're all girls. Obviously, you are a little uncomfortable with this and whether or not your friend is a lesbian, you need to let her know that you prefer to change alone.
I think that asking her if she was a lesbian in front of other people was an incredibly insensitive thing to do, I'm not surprised she was quiet for the rest of the night. Even if she isn't a lesbian, she was probably very embarassed. Especially as homosexuality still isn't accepted by many people, even today.
If she is a lesbian, it's 100% up to her whether or not she tells you but your attitude will not help things whatsoever. If she is, then she might be finding things incredibly difficult and the last thing she needs is her best friend being scared of her. If you really can't leave things then I suggest you sit her down and chat to her gently about it, without freaking out. Let her know that you will support her, regardless of her sexuality.
As for having a crush on you, she probably doesn't and you're probably being hypersensitive to the fact that she might be homosexual. If she does then there's absolutely no need to freak out, it's no more creepy than if a male friend had a crush on you.
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hey i know how you feel...it may b a lil creepy but eventually she will get over it and hopefully u will too. she may hav been playin mayb not but dont judge them by there sexuality y lose a good friend for sumthin lik tht
hope i helped a lil and the other commenters were kinda rude dont do tht she needs advice not sum1 to tell her she is completely wrong
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you are a little bitch
god just cause your friend might be a lesbian doesnt mean you cant be friends.
there are alot of reasson she might wanna chang in front of you.
1. shes jealous.
2. when she said to sleep nude she was prolly just klidding.
3. i stare off into space and start daydreaming and when i coem back to the real world i find myself looking at girls butts.
4. im straight and my friends and i joke around all the time like that.
5. WHO FUCKING CARES IF SHES A LESBIAN.
6. YOUR A BITCH AND I THINK YOU NEED TO GROW UP!
uhmm how do u kno she wasnt kidding?!
and how the hell am i a whore.
alright god damn it.
if u cant handle the truth dont put the question on here.
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First of all, you're probably right.
Second, she's not necessarily into you. She can be a lesbian and not find YOU especially attractive - maybe you're not her type.
But here's what I think is going on: I think she probably DOES prefer girls, and she's testing the waters with you - not necessarily because she's fantasizing about you at night, but because she wants to know if you might have that in common.
DON'T freak out! Just because she is a lesbian, it doesn't mean she's a pervert or that she's lost all sense of decorum. She is still the same friend you've always had. I speak from experience; the best friend I ever had revealed to me that he was gay after I'd known him for five years (one of which was spent as his roommate in college). It did not change anything. It doesn't HAVE to change anything.
Unless...
She may actually be strongly attracted to you - she may be in love with you. That WILL change things, because you will be unable to return those feelings. Unfortunately, that may mean the end of your friendship, at least for now. Again, do not freak out about it; she can't help her feelings.
Whatever may be, here's the practical advice I have for you:
(1) Don't joke about her sexuality any more. I can guarantee you, it's no laughing matter to her. If she is a lesbian, then those kinds of comments will hurt her feelings; if she isn't, then you run the risk of untruthfully labeling her as such. If she's not sure, then you're not helping.
(2) There is no need for there to be an issue over your changing in separate rooms. Just tell her that that's the way you do it and you feel more comfortable that way, and that it has nothing to do with her. Incidentally, I don't know what you mean about "taking pictures", but if she wanted to photograph you nude, then you should definitely put an end to that idea immediately.
(3) If you really want to know the truth, you're not going to get it by saying, "what are you a lezbo?! Haha!" You will get it by sitting down with her in private and asking her in all seriousness whether it's true. But she's not going to tell you if she thinks you're going to have a five-alarm fit about it, so remain calm and take your truth straight up. Remember that you are friends, and friends must be able to trust each other to handle things like this.
(4) You're going to have to get over the "creepy" thing. Do you want her to be honest with you? If so, you can't have a problem with it when she expresses her natural appreciation for the female form. You ARE allowed to have a problem with it if her appreciation of YOU makes you uncomfortable, but if she's admiring some other girls' posterior, why should that be any skin off your back? Let her be who she is, so long as she grants you the same courtesy.
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I think you might be a homophobic little bitch, but that's my opinion.
There could be a ton fo reasons why your friend does these things. She's probably comparing herself to you, and maybe she was just kidding about sleeping nude thing. She is your best friend, and best friends do joke around. At least me and mine do. There's nothing wrong with changing in front of girls. You have to do it at school to change for gym. They have the same thing you have, so no need to be an ignorant jerk about it.
Just stop worrying and if you think she is then ask her. And if she is and you ditch her, then you suck.
+EDIT+
So damn what if you caught them making out? If you can't accept someone because their sexuality isn't the same as your's, then you need to check yourself. And you are a bitch. You're ignorant as hell.
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this is what i said the last time i answered a question like this...
i don't think she has a crush on you... there are a bunch of reasons why she'd be looking at you:
-she's comparing herself to you, body wise (which also explanes why she's looking at your boobs
-she just stares off into the distance because she has alot on her mind (belive me i do this alot... and even though i'm really straight i often find that when i come back into the real world i'll be staring at some other girls ass or boobs... i don't know why)
-she's just curious...
and about the sleeping in the nude thing, she was probably just kidding, i joke like that with my friends. and conserning the changing thing, lots of people are just raised like that, my mom's like that, don't put too much thought into it unless she does something to you.
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