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big problem
well my problem here is that my best buddy is cheating on his girlfriend.I talk to her, I mean we are schoolmates and we talk right, but I dont know what to do because I know my buddy is cheating on her but I dont know whether to tell her or not because if i tell her my buddy is gonna get mad but if I dont and she finds out, she'll be mad at me...I dont wanna lose any of them what should I do??...
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Maybe give some free advice about: Friendship?
truth hurts, u gotta tell her
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Ok cheating is the WORST possible thing a guy could do to a girl. trust me i know from experience. it hurts. and i know how feel that you dont want to tell anybody because you dont want to hurt them. but what you should do is call him up and talk to him. tell him he should tell her. and if he is an asshole about it, then tell him that you are going to tell her anyways. and make him feel bad about it at the same time. if hes going to be like that then hes not a good frien and maby you should drop him=]
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hey!
Well you're stuck between a rock and a hard place, either way its going to suck. You just have to look at the situation through the girls eyes. If someone was cheating on you, would you want to know? Probably yeah. So I would suggest telling her, yeah your buddy is going to get pissed off because you ratted him out, but he is doing something wrong. So why should he expect you to cover for him?
Though, on the other hand you're not actually covering for him, you're just not telling her, so basically if you go out of your way to tell her then you are being mean.
So here's what I would do, go up to him and ask him why he's cheating on her, and if he really thinks that cheating is going to get him anywhere. Ask him if he really needs to leading the girl on and lying to her, and that you think he should tell her. If he decides that he doesnt want to believe you and wants to keep going the way things are, then he's being a jerk, and he deserves to get caught. Talk to the girl, and ask her to not tell him it was you who told, but if it slipps out you'll understand.
This situation is tough, and you can choose to sit and watch her get hurt, and it's inevitable, she will get hurt, but if she gets hurt when someone is being kind to her, isnt that better? I can't tell you that answer to that one, you know the answer, you just haveto figure out what it is.
Good luck, and I hope I helpped, thankfully your friends have someone awesome liek you who cares,
Love ya,
Angie91
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Tough situation.
I think one thing you should do no matter what is tell your buddy that while his life and his relationships are his business, you're not going to support his dishonesty. Make it clear that you won't run interference for him or lie for him.
Now, one thing that makes a difference is what you mean by "cheating". If, for instance, you've seen him kissing other girls or getting together with them for coffee, then probably you should stay out of it. It sucks that he's treating her that way, but no real physical harm is being done. If you're talking about sex, however, then that's a bigger deal - he's putting her health at risk, and she deserves to know.
The question then becomes, how do you tell her?
That depends in large part on your buddy. If you advised him to break it off with her or to stop cheating because what he's doing isn't right, do you think he would listen? Does he actually feel like he's doing anything wrong? If the answer to those questions is "No", then you can't expect him to do anything about it.
One thing you could do would be to pass the news through one of HER friends. This has the advantage in that it gives you a certain degree of protection - you can deny that she heard it from you. However, it also has the potential to distort the truth through the rumor mill, and things might get out of hand. Furthermore, it's not her friend's business, so you'd be bringing in a third party who shouldn't have to be involved.
Of course, you can also just tell her directly. If I were you, I would give her information that would allow her to catch your buddy in the act - that way, she has more than just your word to go on, and when she confronts her cheatin' boyfriend your name doesn't have to come up as the informer. (If she just says, "Someone told me you were cheating," then he's going to want to know who told her that, and eventually he's going to find out it was you.)
In the end, people are going to be upset over this, and you probably will end up "losing" one of these two friends, because they won't want to be around each other anymore. Like I said, it's a tough situation, but in a case like this, your sympathies should be with the innocent party - in this case, your buddy's girlfriend.
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If trying to convince your best friend to tell her the truth is out of the question, then you should definately tell her. She might be mad at first, but she wont be mad at you. She has no right to be mad at you. And as for your buddy, if he is mad at you for telling her, screw him. He will get over it and realise that its his fault in the first place. He will hopefully overcome it and thank you for being the bigger man in the end. It definately sucks being the middle man, but if you really care for the girl, then let her know, for her sake. I dont know how old you are, but hopefully everyone is mature enough to get over this soon enough. You will be doing the right thing.
Good luck.
Cheers
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