Matt's advice column

i feel stupid that i didn't notice it at all...the other time i thought he did he didn't then some girl was like HE HAS A BONER at a party.i don't know what to do because i didn't notice the one time that he did have one and then when he didn't i though he did

I got six hard ons in the time it took to read your question. It's not exactly a rare thing.

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if a girl is shy, how does she learn to approach cute boys and make the first move?

Practice on chatroulette so you can learn about male anatomy at the same time.

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i have been getting drunk and "sluttying" it out for a week and i really didnt know my limits. i thought it was all fun and no consequenes.
the other night i got drunk and ended up getting with this boy who has a very serious girlfriend.
it was mutual no one forced the other one, then midway thorugh our hookup his friends came in a stopped it becasue they knew hed regrett it and everything.
and i ran out covering my fave shamefully.
i woke up the next mornign feelign awful.
my friend bumped into the boy and boy was so mean. said make sure she doesnt tell a soul no one oculd ifnd out. she forced herself on me. i didnt enjoy it etc.
i am so mordified and i just feel so ashamed.
i am DONE doing that i really am changing. i am quitting drinkign and the next boy i kiss will be on a legit care about.
just i cant stop feeling bad about myself because of this boy.
i do not have feelings for him but he just dispizes me so much and hates me and make sup that i forced myself on me that i just ahte myself so much and i really just want to go away.
how do i move on from this?
(this is really coming from a serious place this question, if your going to say stop being a slut dont bother- i know i did stupid things and i know i was very whore-ish and thats why im seeking advice)

You should postpone your "sluttying" for one night and reward his good friends.

After that, just don't tell anyone, ignore him, ignore the friends, and move on with your life.

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this question is intended for girls only, considering i have no idea where a guy would come up with an answer for this, but if anyone has one, great:

anyone can answer, whats the best menstrual medication you've had? like what kicks in faster, stays in longer, kills cramps the best, that kind of thing. ever since i started having sex, 3 years ago, my cramps have been completely unbearable and it cuts into my daily routine and i can't afford to miss anymore school. the stuff i have is called naproxin or naproxine or something like that, and it kills cramps pretty well, but it takes like 2 hours to kick in. and if i have to be at school by 8 and wake up at 6, along with getting ready and everything, it just won't work. so if anyone has anything or has heard of anything that works better/faster, can you let me know? thanks in advance.

Masturbation is supposed to help.

http://organizedwisdom.com/Masturbation_and_Menstrual_Cramps

My imaginary vagina would appreciate its 5, thank you.

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ima 17 yr old fm i got everything i could possibly want and so unhappy and idk y someone plz help me

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4vvBAONkYwI

To which I say:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Oey85FGHOHc

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18/F
I'm going to have sex soon but I'm scared the boy will notice my stretch marks on my inner and outer thighs and a little on my waist. So I was wondering if you guys ever notice that stuff during sex.

Let me ignore the boobs ass and vagina in front of me to oggle these slight discolorations nowhere near the reservoir I plan on landing my penis in.

No.

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my partner and me are not sleeping together were both 17yrs old.

Wait a few more weeks, I'm still warming your partner up for you.

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I swear I'm not a freak but ever since, well, for a long time now I've been humping on this teddy bear I have. Today I was thinking about it and I was wondering if this is safe or if it's going to affect my health badly? I hump on his nose, usually, and I wash the bear like once a week or 2 weeks at the very longest. Do you think this is dangerous?

No, and I'm sure your bear enjoys it just as much as you do.

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My gf and I just started having sex 2 months ago. She's been with 6 guys before me and all that. I can't make her cum and she said it's because my penis is too small. She wants me to make it bigger by taking the pills they sell the stores. I am only 17 and I think you have to be 18 to buy the pills. What can I do for her instead? I feel bad because she's so sure it's because my penis is too small and that's embarrassing. Shes really into having sex and if she can't get off she is really unhappy. Should I just break up with her so she can be with a guy who is bigger? I get hurt feelings because after sex every single time she goes on and on about the problem

Your girlfriend is a selfish bitch. She deserves a fist to the vagina, not an 'ideal-sized' dick.

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Hey so I was at a b~day party and I was dared to ask Seth {my crush at the time} out on a date. So I texted him and he didn't respond. So now I've moved on to like another guy that is my bestie and I love him more. How can I tell him that I don't like him anymore?

Tell him you throw the word love around like you breath air so it doesn't mean anything.

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Im De im 17 i have a 3 yr old son.i got pregnant at 13 and had him when i was 14.me the guy was together for 9 months and when i be pergnant are parents made us break up and everything. he wasnt in my sons life for the longest now he is tryin to be daddy and everything is good and im still in love with him dnt say im to young to be in love cuz i kno what what love is but my question is why am i still in love with him after he treated me so wrong and everything?

Because you make perennially bad decisions.

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I read in Cosmo awhile back that guys like to "chase" after girls and that if you let them think you're easy and will always be around then they're more likely to cheat or not care as much about you. My boyfriend is a pretty good guy and I don't think he'd cheat on me but I don't want to risk it. We talk like every 2 days and I see him at least 3 times a week at school. We don't really go on dates too often but like once every 2 weeks maybe we'll go to a movie or get pizza together. Should I ignore him for awhile to keep him after me? HOw long is a good time range so he still desires me?

Cosmo is a breeding ground for dumbfucks. Their advice typically does not pertain to real life; this is no exception.

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i have been in a long term relationship for awhile but just to get people's opinions what are some top ways to be the most likable girlfriend. one you would definitely want around... such as character, looks, how you'd expect her to be in public, how much attention or not attention she should give, such like that....top 10 ways to be the perfect girlfriend. for something to take a look at anyway.thanks!

Realistic and not clingy.

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So yesterday was me and my boyfriend's one year anniversary. I had a feeling he wasn't really gonna do anything, so I specifically asked him to plan something nice for us to do. But of course, he didn't. I went to his place and he was like sorry, I didn't plan anything. Wanna go see a movie? and I just went along with it..because I knew it would happen. I also put a lot of thought into the gift I got him (which he loved), baked him some peanut butter bars, and wrote him a really sweet letter. He got me a box of chocolate and was like "I was gonna get you Monopoly, but I didn't know if you alrready had it" (we play online together sometimes and its like an inside joke).

Anyway, point is that I was beyond disappointed and sad. I didnt say anything because whenever I say things about him like doing something wrong, he shuts down and says "I'm sorry I'm a terrible boyfriend" but like, not in an actual apologetic way. So how can I express that I'm sad without him shutting down like that? i just want him to try sometimes. How do I get him to try? I mean I asked him to plan something, I don't know how to be more blunt. Shouldn't he just want to/know to plan something for our one year anniversary? It's not the first time he's done something like this. He didn't get me anything for christmas last year (and i got him cute stuff) and i was sad. He never plans/does anything romantic. Please help!

Remind me what's stopping you from planning something?

Oh yea, nothing.

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Me and audi have been friends for like what? a year? we got reallly close during that year but shes not my bestfriend, shes just one of my close friends. but One night i made a mistake with her boyfriend [Ex at the time] I got drunk with him then had sex with him! i felt soo giulty i had to tell her, So like 2 weeks later i decided to tell her, Then she told me that she had sex with my Ex! [Paulo] i Was soooo mad but i couldnt say anything. so we just said we both fucked up so whatever. So we forgave eachother. but she would always bring up me and D, and she told people about me and D and everybody looked at me like i was the fucked up one and shit, she was leaving out her and paulo! So i eventually got pissed, and i said i was done!
So we didnt talk for like 2 months. then out of no where we started talking and he kicked it again. then like a week later i was talking to this guy angel and he told me that audi had sex with paulo 2 days ago, and i remember she told me she got drunk with all these people. so i confronted her and she said no! So i said i was done!
But when i got realllly drunk i just went to her house, and we went to go see Gio and stuff, then Little started talking about how Audi had sex with Tres and Jokes that night as in Paulo. i ignored it cause i didnt wanna fight.

But like Saturday Me and audi were talking to some girl and she was reminding audi about what happened that night at her house when she was drunk, and she was like yeah and you had sex with Gio in the bathroom. i was like Whaaaaaaat? and audi was like i don't remember that! And i asked Gio and he just said wtf Littles girl? i was like yeaaaahhhh! And he didnt answer me!

I don't know what to do or believeee !

Don't believe anyone named after a car.

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How do you know which hole the penis should be inserted in?

If it bleeds, we can fill it.

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i wanna pierce my nose what do i do?

Join the Peace Corps and start a dog-fighting ring in the Philippines.

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what jobs now are hiring 14 yr olds

Imaginary ones. Ain't gonna happen.

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My boyfriend and I are sexually active. The sex is alright, but I noticed he has never gone down on me, although I frequently go down on him. So today I called him out on it, "I said do you not go down on girls?" He said that he didn't, its something that girls should do, but for a guy to do that for a girl is not acceptable.

This is the only way I can get off, but I don't think he really cares. How do I get him to stop being selfish in bed?

Stop going down on him.

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