I work as a Customer Laison Complaints Case Officer at a major insurance company, where I have worked for 3 years. I left school when I was 17, as I had some very bad experiences at school and wanted to see what the real world had to offer.
I now live with my boyfriend of 3 years and spend my spare time reading, writing, socialising with friends or just watching some TV.
Times are still hard and I'm trying to cope with various health problems on a daily basis but I'm working my way through things and really want to stop it from getting me down.
I dream of some day going to America and watching a real baseball game (we don't have that at all in the UK) and perhaps finding a job I find creatively fulfilling. Until then, I'm happy trying to be me and making the best of what I have.
Website: My Space
Gender: Female
Location: Dorset, UK
Occupation: Customer Liaison Case Officer
Age: 21
MSN: hottchickie@hotmail.com
Member Since: January 28, 2006
Answers: 1016
Last Update: March 5, 2009
Visitors: 65008
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My boyfriend and I have been going out for 9 months now and he said he loves me..How long do you have to be going out to know if you love someone. Or is it not time constrained?? (link)
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To be honest, time really doesn't have much to do with it.
My boyfriend and I had been going out with each other for just over a month when he told me he loved me and it really took me by surprise, because nobody had ever said it to me before (other than obviously family!). I waited a month before I said it back, because I was worried he didn't mean it and I didn't want to say it back without knowing for sure I did. But I realise now that I loved him long before we started going out and over 3 years later, we're still together.
However, I tend to be suspicious of anyone who confesses to be in love within the first couple of months, when you are still going through that 'Honeymoon Period'. As you have been going out for 9 months, I reckon there's a very good chance he means it. Lucky you! Now all you need to do is work out how you feel about him and if you are ready to say it back.
I would warn you though that you shouldn't feel pressured to say it back. If you know you don't love him, don't say it but if you know you do, shout it from the rooftops and be very happy together!
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uhm i am wondering.. how do you know when your breast stop growing?
and i have another question but it is okay if you dont answer it when did your breast stop growing?
Did it hurt when it was growing? (link)
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They tend to stop growing when you reach the end of puberty around the age of 20. However, if you put on or lose weight, you may find this can affect their size. (Last place to gain it and first place it disappears from it seems!!).
I think mine only stopped growing last year and I'm now 21. They did hurt when they were growing to be honest. I don't have it now but they used to be VERY sensitive around the time of my period for a couple of years, bad enough at times that I couldn't walk without them hurting. However, that's pretty rare and can be treated with Evening Primrose Oil. I also hear St Johns Wort can help, but it can have an effect on The Pill so if you are taking it, stay away from that.
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i know green poop isnt normal.
yesterday i started to get stomach pains when i moved and stretched and sucked my stomach in and what not.
then occured getting green poop.
didnt eat anything different then the normal stuff i eat. and its pretty healthy.
yes my mother knows.
im probably going to the doctor tomorrow.
but before i go..is there anything that can be causing this?
thanks in advance.
(link)
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I have to admit, the only time that has ever happened to me was when I had food poisoning. It sounds as though you might have just upset your stomach with something or picked up a bug. Keep drinking plenty of fluids for now and do go to the Doctor, in case there's an infection you need medication for.
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OKay I woke up one day to see little tiny bumps on my face... i thought i was breaking out well now its on my arms and starting to move down my neck. its not noticable to others but when i feel my face and look in the mirror i cna see them. i have been doing my daily rountine as usual using the cleaner, the toner, and then the mosturizer. but its not going away and i don't know what to do. its very itchy. does anyone have any ideas or any experiences that are similar? (link)
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It could be a number of things. Something heat related is an option but if it is spreading all over you like this, it could well be that you have eaten something or used something you are allergic to. If you have started using a new soap or cleansing product lately, stop using it and see if it disappears.
In the meantime, nip down to the Chemist and buy some soothing cream, such as E45, Emollient Cream or something similar (the Chemist should be able to recommend something suitable) and if it is there for more than 2 days or you notice any other symptoms, see your Doctor.
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Hi, i have alot of mental health problems which cause me to have high anxiety and panic, which often lead to panic attacks over things that never used to bother me.
Tomorrow i have a 2 and a half hour car journey, i'm getting better at travelling although i still get really panicy which makes me feel sik (can't say THAT word...it;'s my fear of that that has led to alot of my mental and physical illness).
I'm getting proffessional help with it so thats ok, i was just wondering if i get really bad and i watch a dvd (i'm sitting in the front passanger side if that helps), will that make me travel sik?
i know some people cant read magazines in the car, are those people also not able to watch dvd and stuff either because it brings on the travel sikness or is that ok?
I just ask because when i have high panic i have to watch a dvd and i eventually calm down because it's a great distraction, but if i do that when travelling would it make me feel worse?
Thankyou x (link)
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I actually have a very bad phobia of being physically sick (sorry, I hope you can read that word. I can't read or hear the 'v' word for it so I can sympathise) and I had to do two lots of a two and a half hour car journey today for work.
I did take a travel sickness tablet beforehand. The best thing you can do is to visit your pharmacist and find one that can be taken a very short time before your journey starts. Don't eat a big meal beforehand but something light and plain is a good idea.
Travel sickness tablets should definitely help (I felt fine all today when I was travelling) but you should be careful about what you do. I was fine reading my way through a stack of magazines there and back but the majority of people can't read in cars because the vehicle is moving forward but you are forcing your eyes left to right, which causes the brain to become a little confused. This is why you might feel a little dizzy or headachey after a trip where you have done this.
I think a DVD would be a good idea, as long as you make it something light and humorous. However, I would recommend you start watching it only after taking a travel sickness tablet and try watching a TV show that has episodes rather than a film if possible, so every now and then you can look away. Most importantly, keep the car well ventilated (I recommend air conditioning rather than open windows as it is often the smell of petrol or diesel that makes people feel ill)and see if you can plan in enough time for the odd breaks, to ensure you're not stuck in the car too long.
Don't worry, you will be fine. If I have managed it today, anyone can!!!
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My hair is Thick, long, wavy, semi-damaged, brown..
Please recommend products for:
Shampoo:
Conditioner:
Deep conditioner:
Hot-oil treatment:
Shine serum:
Heat protecting spray:
Thanks soooo much! I'll rate for anyone who answers
(link)
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Shampoo - Dove Moisturising Shampoo for Dry Hair
Conditioner - Aussie 3 Minute Miracle
Deep Conditioner - Montagne Jeunesse Moitsure Miracle Conditioning Hair Mask
Hot Oil Treatment - I never use these as I have heard they can cause more harm to hair than good, due to the heat at which they are when applied. However, VO5 is meant to be good.
Shine Serum - Frizz Ease Shine Serum
Heat Protecting Spray - GHD Heat Protection Spray
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Hey my name is Rachel and iam 17 years old and I get panick attacks when iam real nervouse the last time I had this panick attack I was playing soccer,but it was for kids with disabilities yes I have add and all we did was kick the ball into the net and then run in place for like 30 seconds and my cousin who has autisim did much better than I did and he is really overweight also and iam not that overweight either.when I have these panick attacks my chest feels real tight and I get real shaky and my heart starts to beat real fast and my hands are real hot and sweaty,but when my mom felt my hands they felt like they were in a deep freezer she said and I breathe real heavy what can I do to control this where it won't happen as much? (link)
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I've suffered with panic attacks for years. I hope that a trick I have learned might help you as much as it has helped me.
For years, my asthma has been the bane of my existence, ever since I got it at the age of seven. But when I started having panic attacks, I realised it was a blessing because I knew how to control my breathing. Being able to do that stopped me from getting dizzy and panicky and shaky on most occasions.
It's very difficult to get the hang of it when you're having a panic attack so it might take some practise. When you feel your chest start to tighten and realise you're breathing much faster, concentrate really hard on slowing it down. Force yourself to breathe in through your nose and out through your mouth steadily. Focus as much as possible on this and this alone. Even say to yourself in........out....... Each in breath should take approximately 4 seconds and each out breath around 5 seconds.
When you have the hang of this, try distracting yourself at the same time with something. Again, it will be difficult to do but once the correct breathing exercise becomes more second nature, helping to distract yourself means the panic attack will be over before you even realise it.
This being said, although this does work for most of my panic attacks, I do appreciate that others may have more severe panic attacks. If the breathing exercises really don't work, you should speak to your doctor. Medication is available that can be used to control them but I would recommend trying to control them without medication initially if you are coping with them at the moment.
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16/f
A few of my friends and I are going to Kings Island in Ohio in a week, and we want to get Tank tops made to wear to the park. We just don't know what to put on them. We like something thats a little risque with innuendo, but not super dirty. We thought of "I'll Ride Anything" but thats a little too dirty. We kind of want something to do with the park, like rides or whatever, but it doesn't have to be. We just want a funny saying to put on the tank tops. Do you have any ideas? The more Ideas you come up with, the better! Thanks so much in advance! (link)
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"If you can read this, you've missed my face by six inches"
"You think I'm a bitch. You should meet my Mother!"
"75% Angel, 25% Devil. 100% woman."
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OK.. so i heard that having diarrhea means that something is realllly wrong with your digestive system.. is this true?.. because i havent had a normal poop for a while... ive had diarrhea for weeks...
HELP!
(link)
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Diarrhoea can indicate any number of things, so please don't panic yet!!
You can get it when you are ill with an infection of some sort. This is most common with stomach bugs but if you have not been physically sick, it is unlikely this is the cause, especially when you have had it for so long.
More likely possibilities are things such as allergies or intolerances and Irritable Bowel Syndrome (IBS).
Food intolerances and allergies can include such things as Coeliac Disease, lactose intolerance, soya intolerance and so on. Process of elimination can help you to work out if a particular food may be the culprit but doctors tend to advise against this without medical advice because removing foods from your diet can cause more problems than it solves. If you think it might be something along these lines that is causing the problem, if you speak to your doctor about it, he or she will be able to do tests to form a final diagnosis.
As for Irritable Bowel Syndrome, there is a lot of information available on the internet to help you work out if this might be what is making you suffer. Normally, sufferers experience bouts of diarrhoea and constipation at different intervals and in a lot of cases, it can cause nausea, give you bowel cramps and/or stomach cramps and cause you to experience feverish feelings (feeling very hot and shivery at the same time for example). Again, you should speak to your doctor who can confirm if this is what you have and the good news is that there is medication available to help control the symptoms. Also a lot of people find that adjustments to their diet can help.
Whatever you do, you should most certainly see a doctor if you have had this problem for more than a couple of weeks. In the meantime, make sure you keep replenishing your fluids, as diarrhoea can cause dehydration quite easily.
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ok, i've bin vomiting spontaniusly lately, like i really mean spontaniusly, like i can feel great one second then be gaging the next. its kinda bothering me and i dont know what it could be, people have bin telling me that i could be pregnant but i dont beleive it to be true because just had my periode last week, i guess my qiestion is, am i just sick or could i be pregnant because i'm on the pill and people also tell me that the pill will still make you have your periode if your pregant is that true? (link)
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If you feel fine one minute and you are throwing up the next then it is highly unlikely that it's a stomach bug of any kind. All stomach illnesses will make you feel very ill pretty much the whole time you have them.
You've not said whether you have been able to eat or drink anything but again, if you have been able to keep anything down, it's highly unlikely you are ill.
I would recommend that you take a pregnancy test. What your friends have told you is incorrect. Some women may find they still get their period when they are pregnant (it is rare and often when it happens it does get lighter without disappearing altogether but you can still have full periods throughout) but this is not specific to women who are on the Pill. If you are on the Pill, you can still get pregnant but if you take it at the correct times without forgetting it, it's a very low probability.
If you haven't had problems eating, really do feel okay in between being sick and have been taking your Pill regligiously, I would recommend you see your Doctor. As I say, the chances of pregnancy while taking the Pill correctly are very slim but possible and even if you are not pregnant, you should really speak to the Doctor to find out what is going on.
Feel better soon.
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I have an emotional dilemma. I have a male friend who I have known for over 25 years. We talk at least three times a day, discuss politics and history, like the same movies and books, grew up in the same neighborhood, enjoy the same lifestyles. We’ve been through a lot together and he has always been generous to me, and helped me in my business and personal life.
However, we both have had two marriages each to other people (we're both divorced right now). I never felt a physical attraction to him, that is, until just in the past eight months. To my surprise, he’s a passionate lover. I find myself feeling things for him that I’ve never felt before.
Now we have to decide whether to be together, but there’s a problem. I don’t think we want the same things in relationships. He says that I have to give up trying to control the relationship, and I say a relationship is a 50-50 proposition. I think he punishes me by withholding affection and being critical, and he says if I feel that way I should move on. He says he wants me to be submissive to him, but that just seems like the start of an abusive relationship to me. He says I'm just used to being in charge all the time and he's not having it.
I suspect his attitude is probably one of the reasons why he hasn’t had successful marriages, but I haven't been a success at marriage either. I just can’t see clearly right now. Should I at least try to change to accommodate him or should I just move on???
(link)
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My honest opinion is that you shouldn't ignore those alarm bells that are ringing inside your head.
As you quite rightly state, a relationship should always be 50/50 without exception and it sounds as though he doesn't feel that this should be the case. Immediately, this concerns me. He sounds like a rather controlling guy who feels that you should play the part of the 'little woman'. In this day and age, there is no excuse for this and if he is withholding affection and being cruel to you as a punishment for not being the person he expects you to be, the situation can only go from bad to worse.
As you have already surmised, it's probable that this attitude is the reason he has not yet been able to sustain a successful marraige. Although you say he is a passionate lover, it would be a fruitless and possibly harmful relationship, were you to commit to it. I'm not suggesting that he would physically hurt you necessarily, because I don't know him. However, his demands that you treat him as somehow superior to you will eventually wear down your self confidence and self esteem and you could find yourself trapped in a very unfortunate position.
I would strongly suggest that however wonderful he might seem on the surface, now that you have scratched that, you scrap him. There is no point pursuing a relationship which you already appear to realise will only serve to hurt you. The fact is, you deserve a lot better than a guy who wants to turn you into a downtrodden housewife and as an intelligent woman who clearly does know her own mind, there is no reason to trap yourself in that sort of position.
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Why is it so wrong to be chauvanistic, but OMG SO COOL AND TRENDY!!!!1! to be feminst?
Why is that it's wrong for a man to hit a woman, but if the chick hits the guy, it's considered cute?
Why can girls get away with calling guys every sexist name under the sun but if a man dare say the word chick (ZOMG!!!1!! NOT CHICK!!!! *gasp*) he is called a sexist, and that is not ok? (link)
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There's a huge difference between chauvanism and feminism. Chauvanism is a term that is applied to behaviour that is bias towards men. For example, paying men more to do the same job as a woman does for less pay. Feminism is a more political term for a movement working towards achieving equality for women. Back decades ago (although it does still exist in many places today), there was a lot of chauvanism in the world. Men expected women to stay home and do the cleaning, cooking and raising the kids while they went out and earned the money as the main breadwinner of the family. The feminist movement rallied for women to have the right to do the same jobs as men, for the same pay and to earn respect.
It's wrong for a man to hit a woman but it is also considered wrong for a woman to hit a man. It just depends on the nature of the hitting. For example, if a man lightly taps or gives a playful hit in jest that is not painful or malicious, it is completely acceptable, just as it is for the woman to do it to the man. However, any form of malicious physical violence is considered abuse, whether it is from a man to a woman or vice versa. Not long ago, Liza Minelli was in the news because her ex husband alleged she had been abusing him and she was labelled a 'husband beater'. You may hear more about domestic violence towards women but believe me, it does happen to men too and it is considered every bit as wrong.
I don't agree that women do get away with calling guys every sexist name under the sun, although I personally can't think of any sexist names. I call my boyfriend baby and he calls me a whole variety of names. This is really a subject which is entirely down to personal choice. Some women don't mind being called 'chicks' but there are obviously exceptions to every rule. The one thing I will say about this however, is that calling women 'birds' or other such names is considered offensive because it is derogatory. I can't personally think of any names we call guys that could be considered offensive but just as women speak up against names they feel are inappropriate, men would too.
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Ok,I'm 18/F and the other day I caught my brother he's 16 dressed in my clothes,I mean everything bra,panties,mini-skirt the works when he saw me he started crying,,,,too make a long story short he told me he has been wearing my clothes for a while and that he wants to be a girl. He said that he's sick of pretending and asked if I would help him shop and teach him about makeup,I love my brother an told him I would but I find this very weird. What should I do ????? (link)
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The best thing you can do right now is to support your brother in every way possible. He's obviously feeling very vulnerable about this right now and it is quite a big issue. That being said, it's not at all uncommon, as I for one have come across a lot of stories from women feeling they should have been born men or men feeling they should have been born women.
The most important thing you need to bear in mind is that he's been keeping this secret a long time now, feeling it is something to be ashamed of and you are the person he has come to about it, which means he must really trust you.
First thing is I really think you both need to break this to your parents. Gently, because it might be really difficult for them to handle. Let him do the talking but stand by him and let him know that whatever they say, you will be there for him.
After this point, it is really up to him how far this goes. You can accept his lifestyle and help him wear women's clothes and make up and so on but he needs to be prepared for the fact that the general public tend to be very cruel about cross-dressing, rather than understanding. If he wants to go out in public dressed like this, there's nothing wrong with it but some people will insist on making life hard for him. However, if he is happy to push ahead with it then help him as much as you feel comfortable with. Teach him about make up and clothes so that he knows what he can and cannot wear to make himself feel beautiful.
As time goes on, he may decide that he wants to physically become a woman. Sex change operations do not come cheaply and it is a long and gruelling process, as he will need to take hormone medication, which will make his body change. They have made medical advances now as far as this goes that means he can have real female 'parts' put in and I have heard of cases where men have had their voice boxes operated on to give them a more feminine voice.
Whatever he decides to do, the best thing you can do is to let him know you will be there for him every step of the way. It's okay to tell him that you find it weird. There may not be anything wrong with the way he feels but that doesn't mean that it is not unusual at all so feel free to let him know how you feel about this. It's better that you tell him straight out than to let him worry that you might feel it and not tell him.
Finally, please don't worry about whether or not you are handling it correctly. There's no manual on how to cope with a close relative or friend that suddenly reveals they are a cross dresser (especially when they also reveal they were cross dressing in your clothes!) but you must be doing something right or he wouldn't have told you about it in the first place.
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my best friend is scared of the dark. i can't get to sleep when i spend the night at her house because she keeps all the lights on in her room and i just cant fall asleep. so when she hits the hay... i quietly go to the light switch and turn the lights off. as soon as i do that she wakes up and starts crying! what to do???
thanks in advance
Frenchy♥
(link)
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I have to admit that I am 21 years old and still scared of the dark. It has nothing to do with being immature, it's just one of those things. Some people are scared of spiders, some are scared of clowns, some people are scared of the dark.
I have total sympathy with both of you really. I can't sleep in pitch black. This was a big problem when I met my other half because he can't sleep with the light on so we came to a compromise. I sleep with the TV (on timer) on very quietly when I go to sleep. It has just enough light to illuminate the room but doesn't stop him from sleeping and it switches itself off after I fall asleep. If we have a night where we don't want the TV on, I leave my lava lamp on next to the bed and that's just light enough for me.
Perhaps you could try something like this with your friend? If you can persuade her to get something like a lava lamp then give that a go but the best tool in my opinion is the TV, because it switched itself off.
I know it's annoying but try to be patient with her because being scared of the dark is REALLY embarrassing, whatever age you are. Just make sure she tries lots of different ways of coping with it without depriving you of sleep.
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Is it really possible to hear sounds on the other side better with a cup against a wall? What other useful tips are out there? (link)
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It is possible but I have to admit it isn't much of an improvement. It's better to use a glass (the better quality the glass the better). Push it against the wall and stick your ear to it and it works quite well. However, the definition of the words is quite poor so you will hear the sound of voices louder but you have to work quite hard to figure out what is actually being said.
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Recommend me good books to help me build knowledge, please? I am not very smart so no hard novels like Shakespeare. Thank you! (link)
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Unfortunately, any books that will help you build knowledge generally WILL be hard-going-need-a-dictionary-to-get-me-through-this type thing!
However, if you don't want to start with Shakespeare, then I would recommend one of the following:
Catcher In The Rye
Wuthering Heights
Emma
Jane Eyre
To Kill A Mockingbiard
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Can anyone remember funny song parodies from childhood like Batman smells instead of "Jingle Bells"? Or Barney songs, anything at all. I would appreciate it if you included the lyrics as well. Gracias mucho! (link)
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While Shephers Watched...
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While shepherds watched their turnip tops
All seated round the pot
A lump of soot came rolling down
And spoilt the bloomin' lot
We Three Kings
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We three Beatles of Liverpool are
One in a taxi
One in a car
George on a scooter
Tooting his hooter
Following Ringo Starr
Walking In A Winter Wonderland
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Lacy things, the wife is missin'
Didn't ask, her permission
I'm wearin' her clothes
Her silk pantyhose
Walkin' 'round in women's underwear
In the store, there's a teddy
Little straps, like spaghetti
It holds me so tight
Like handcuffs at night
Walkin' 'round in women's underwear
In the office there's a guy named Melvin,
He pretends that I am Murphy Brown
He'll say, "Are you ready?" I'll say, "Whoa Man!"
"Let's wait until our wives are out of town!"
Later on, if you wanna
We can dress, like Madonna
Put on some eyeshade
And join the parade
Walkin' 'round in women's underwear
Lacy things- missin'
Didn't ask- permission
Wearin' her clothes
Her silk pantyhose
Walkin' 'round in women's underwear
Walkin' 'round in women's underwear
Walkin' 'round in women's underwear
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I like this guy, Nick F. I think hes realy hot and I think he like me. But theres a problem, he cheats on all of his girlfreinds. Hes realy nice to me and I realy like him. But my freind wentout with him and she says that he abused her. But she has been nown to lie about her boyfreinds. So I dont know what to do. Please help.
~ from needs help~ (link)
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My honest opinion is that if he has cheated on all of his previous girlfriends, however much he may seem to like you, there's no reason to believe that you will be an exception to this. I'm sorry, I know that sounds like a truly horrible thing to say, but you need to be sure that you look after yourself. If you know deep down that he is not a nice guy to his girlfriends, then you know it isn't a good idea. You also have to remember that he got all of his previous girlfriends by being nice to them in the beginning.
Unfortunately, guys like this have no respect for women and their main aim in life (at least when they are young) is to get through as many of them as possible. It is entirely up to you but please please bear in mind that if you do go out with him, you need to prepare to have your heart broken.
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If a pregnant woman is killed, it's considered a double homicide then why are abortions looked upon differently? I've heard things like when a pregnant woman is killed, it wasn't her choice but it is her choice in the case of an abortion. But, she isn't killing herself when it comes to abortions; she's doing it to another, developing human being. So that just doesn't make sense to me. (link)
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Abortion is a very complex issue and one that has been strongly debated for a long time by a combination of Pro-Life and Pro-Choice supporters.
I won't say what my opinion on this is, as I don't think you need to know that.
However, to answer your question, the main reason that abortion is not legally considered murder is that scientific research has shown that the foetus is not actually considered a living human form, as at that stage the development is not very far. Of course, there are arguments that the foetus is still alive and termination of that life constitutes murder. That being said, for every opinion one person has regarding this issue, there is another to counter it.
Technically, yes the life is a developing human being but because it has not developed to a stage where it could be considered (scientifically speaking) as more than a foetus, it is not considered murder.
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Hiya
i dont when when my next period will start coz i started in february, and then i had one at the end of march then i didnt have one in april then i started on the 28th may 2006 but i cant work out when my next one is. I am going on holiday on the 5th july for 2 weeks so i need to find out i am too embarassed to ask my mum. (link)
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Judging by what you have said, I would think it unlikely that you will be on your period at the time you go on holiday, as it should be due before you leave. However, if you want to be extra-careful, you might want to try speaking with your doctor. I went to Tenerife back some years ago but was due to get my period while I was there. I spoke to my doctor about it and he provided me with some tablets to prevent your period from arriving until you are ready for it.
I doubt these are suitable for regular use but you start taking them a few days before you think your period might be due (I would suggest that as it seems your cycle is still irregular, you begin taking it on the day your period would have to arrive for it to finish in time for your holiday), then take one every day until you are ready for it to arrive. Then, when you are home again, stop taking it and it should arrive two-three days after this. Obviously, this may vary according to what your doctor can provide you with.
Have a chat with your doctor and see what he can do.
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