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My Brother


Question Posted Wednesday June 28 2006, 1:05 am


Ok,I'm 18/F and the other day I caught my brother he's 16 dressed in my clothes,I mean everything bra,panties,mini-skirt the works when he saw me he started crying,,,,too make a long story short he told me he has been wearing my clothes for a while and that he wants to be a girl. He said that he's sick of pretending and asked if I would help him shop and teach him about makeup,I love my brother an told him I would but I find this very weird. What should I do ?????


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BLONDShorty answered Wednesday June 28 2006, 7:34 pm:
well, you are his sister so ur brother probably loves you very much. maybe he doesn't want to talk to your parents about this. your closer in age to him than they are, so if i were you, i would talk to him first and try to figure out what the problem is exactly and ask him why he didn't say anything before. talk to him. ur his sister and he probably wants to talk to you first before going to your parents!

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DefinedEyes answered Wednesday June 28 2006, 6:07 pm:
Oh dear, honestly I got a message in my inbox very similar to this, except it was a guy in this same situation. Okay if you need to talk to me IM me @ kaylehmae on aim. I mean it is very weird, I would be pretty creeped out at first, but try to accept him, he's obvoiusly different and looking for some acceptance, :) <333

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Vikki27 answered Wednesday June 28 2006, 4:32 pm:
The best thing you can do right now is to support your brother in every way possible. He's obviously feeling very vulnerable about this right now and it is quite a big issue. That being said, it's not at all uncommon, as I for one have come across a lot of stories from women feeling they should have been born men or men feeling they should have been born women.

The most important thing you need to bear in mind is that he's been keeping this secret a long time now, feeling it is something to be ashamed of and you are the person he has come to about it, which means he must really trust you.

First thing is I really think you both need to break this to your parents. Gently, because it might be really difficult for them to handle. Let him do the talking but stand by him and let him know that whatever they say, you will be there for him.

After this point, it is really up to him how far this goes. You can accept his lifestyle and help him wear women's clothes and make up and so on but he needs to be prepared for the fact that the general public tend to be very cruel about cross-dressing, rather than understanding. If he wants to go out in public dressed like this, there's nothing wrong with it but some people will insist on making life hard for him. However, if he is happy to push ahead with it then help him as much as you feel comfortable with. Teach him about make up and clothes so that he knows what he can and cannot wear to make himself feel beautiful.

As time goes on, he may decide that he wants to physically become a woman. Sex change operations do not come cheaply and it is a long and gruelling process, as he will need to take hormone medication, which will make his body change. They have made medical advances now as far as this goes that means he can have real female 'parts' put in and I have heard of cases where men have had their voice boxes operated on to give them a more feminine voice.

Whatever he decides to do, the best thing you can do is to let him know you will be there for him every step of the way. It's okay to tell him that you find it weird. There may not be anything wrong with the way he feels but that doesn't mean that it is not unusual at all so feel free to let him know how you feel about this. It's better that you tell him straight out than to let him worry that you might feel it and not tell him.

Finally, please don't worry about whether or not you are handling it correctly. There's no manual on how to cope with a close relative or friend that suddenly reveals they are a cross dresser (especially when they also reveal they were cross dressing in your clothes!) but you must be doing something right or he wouldn't have told you about it in the first place.

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clearlypink428 answered Wednesday June 28 2006, 3:28 pm:
wow. the only thing you can really do is jsuts acept the fact that hes different. and give in to what it is that he wants to be, or do. yes, it might be weird but he sees you as a person that can show him things, and he obviously looks up to you for some reason. show him that its oka to look up to you- no matter how werid the situation is.

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JazzyGotDaAnswer answered Wednesday June 28 2006, 10:50 am:
whoaaa, i think you need to tell your parent yall need to have a SERIOUS family disscussion because your brother is not satified of his sex and he may need professional help not just yours. all of you should be there for him because he's going through a crisis

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Tulipg17 answered Wednesday June 28 2006, 8:08 am:
Cross dressing and homosexuality are two completely different things, and a cross dresser is no more likely to be gay then anyone else. If this is what your brother wants, then that is the most important thing. Talk to him, be there for him and support him. I wouldn't have a problem teaching him about clothes and makeup if it were me, but if you don't feel comfortable then just tell him how you feel. Maybe you'll warm up to the idea in time. If it is really messing with your or his head then check out local support groups in your area, this really isn't nearly as unusal as you might think.

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orphans answered Wednesday June 28 2006, 3:14 am:
I think that you should help him and while your out ask what makes him feel that way. And you should what you could do to help after all he is your brother and he might hold it against you if you don't tale him out and help.Also while your out tell him how you feel.I know it's easier said then done.Well GOODLUCK !!!


i hope this helps

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DeadPoetics answered Wednesday June 28 2006, 2:07 am:
Well, I'm sure that was quite startling for you! But I guess this is the time that he will be needing your support a lot. He may or may not be going through an identity crisis, or he may genuinely be gay; one way or the other, you need to support him now at this critical time.


However, despite what anyone else says, I don't think you should try to dissuade him from anything or change his behaviour at all. All you can do is support him: if this is a phase, he'll get over it on his own; if it's not, then you will simply have to accept this as part of who he is. Trying to change him will only further confuse him and he may begin to resent you. Just try to understand why he feels the way he does and be the best sister you can be.


I hope everything works out for you.

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AskMuni answered Wednesday June 28 2006, 1:25 am:
First of all your brother may be either having an identity crisis-i wouldn't necessarily say that he is homosexual though. Many times, young teens who aren't given enough attention at home tend to come out with odd behavior and characteristics because they need attention. If attention seeking isn't the case...try getting to know his friends better (they may have a strong influence on him or maybe they can help you out with the situation since they are his close friends). My best advice is just support him. If you desert him now, he'll feel alone and vulnerable. Tell him that you care and want to help him...its the only way you can make sure that he values your trust...and when you're ready...try dissuading him from dressing in girl's clothes...its just gonna take time...best of luck..if you need anymore specific advice...write me..good luck

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