about

I'm Jack/Jamie.

I'm 28 years old. I graduated from Michigan State University with my Bachelor of Science in Chemistry. GO GREEN! Now I'm a high school chemistry teacher in New York City living with my husband in a small studio apartment we pay way too much money for.

I've been on this site for 14 years as of March 23, 2020.
You may have seen me as CuxMiBeckNow7, but I've since shortened my name.


my forum
My FAQ






Here is my Recommended Columnist of the Decade for the 2020s:
Laura!




--Jack

advice

Okay so im almost 18 and i still suck my thumb! I only do when im in my room or going to sleep i would love to quit this childish habit but i have tried before and it just puts me in a bad mood if i dont do it ... Any suggestions?

What if you got something to suck on other than your thumb, like a lollipop or a Popsicle?

Or, you could try putting your hands under your pillow when you're going to sleep, so you don't have your thumbs near your face?

Good luck. I have bad habits, like biting my nails, and I can't break it, unless I have something to play with in my hands. So, I understand having a habit that's hard to break.

--Jack
(17/m)

[view]

I have an understanding of what honors classes are, but do you think accelerated english is like above or below the regular honors english class? o.o

I'm not really sure. I've never heard of them, and they aren't at my school.

We have Honors and Advanced Placement. Honors is just more work than normal. But the only Honors classes we have are for English.

Advanced Placement are college-level classes, and you can take the AP test in May to receive college credit. My school has AP Bio, AP Chem, AP English, AP Calculus, AP Statistics, AP Macroeconomics, AP Microeconomics, AP World History, AP US Government, and maybe a few others.

Perhaps accelerated is between honors and AP?

Like I said, ask your counselor. =]

Thanks for inboxing me.

--Jack
(17/m)

[view]

So, I'm 17 year old female and I lost my virginity about a week ago, to a friend that I've known for 2 years. Now, I find myself getting so angry at him so easily, over the silliest things. We have kind of been in an argument for the past 3 days, and I really do keep insuing it. Could this be a sub-concious kind of anger, like that I'm mentally angry at him for taking my virginity? Is that possible? I've already had my period so I know it's not those hormones. I'm just trying to figure out why Im so mad.

If you weren't really ready to lose your virginity, then maybe that's why you're subconsciously mad at him.

Talk to him, maybe he's feeling the same way.

--Jack
(17/m)

[view]

I just started to date my manager at work about three weeks ago. He is an amazing guy and we really like eachother.
My only problem with the whole situation is the fact he wants to be around me all the time like if I could he would want me to live with him already. I want to see him a lot too, but I'm afriad that because its the beginning of our relationship that it might mess it up later if we take it too fast now.
How do I push him away a little without hurting him?

Talk to him. If your relationship is going to work, you're going to have to communicate properly with him, and if you can't do it about something as small as this, how are you going to talk about things that are far more pressing matters in the future?

The answer is that you won't be able to unless you start talking about the little things now in your relationship.

--Jack
(17/m)

[view]

Is age 16, female, 'very beautiful' (what most men call me) normal to STILL be a virgin ? I think something's wrong with me ! I'm starting to feel depressed that all my friends arent. help !

Wait until you are absolutely ready and until you have no doubts in your mind.

Honestly, that's why I believe waiting until marriage is the best idea.

But, if you can't wait that long, then just wait until you have found the right guy.

--Jack
(17/m)

[view]

Just wondering if you would hire a babysitter from this website.

Is there anything I should change on it?

It's at www.flowersitters.com

We're also trying to expand to reach more families and babysitters; any tips or advice on doing so?

Thanks!

I've told you before your website is good.

Have you tried the flyer thing? What about adding coupons onto the website?

--Jack
(17/m)

[view]

Sorry if this seems like a stupid question, but I was wondering what the difference was between accelerated english and honors english in high school? I'm starting high school, and I'm going to be a freshman... I have accelerated english 1. Is this a good thing or a bad thing? :|

Honors English means you go above and beyond what the normal English class does for your grade.

I've never really heard of Accelerated English, but I'm assuming that means you go faster than the normal curriculum.

Ask your counselor what the difference is at your school, because it could be different from yours to someone elses.

But I don't think it's a bad thing.

--Jack
(17/m)

[view]

i have 3 best friends. one in which is a guy. we go on and off with trying to like each other as more than just friends. but it never works. and that's okay because we continue being friends anyway. lately we have been closer than ever(in a bff type way)and i absolutely love it. i don't really want that to change. BUT he told me last night that he wants more than just "bff" and that he is going to stop being with other girls for me. i said i don't think he could do that(hes sort of a player)even though i know he would for me. i don't even know if i want him as more than a friend at this point. what i do know is i don't want to waste his time. what should i do?

If you don't want to be more than friends, tell him that. You don't want to lead him on.

If you want to try it out, I say go for it, because if it doesn't work out, you can always go back to being friends; sure, it will be a little difficult, but things will work out.

What I don't understand is why your "About The Questioner" says "Male", but all your questions are from female perspective...

--Jack
(17/m)

[view]

Okay so I want some opinion's on why guy's only respect certain girls? I'm in high school, 16 years old, and it seems that many girls do have boyfriends. I don't have one. I understand it's not the end of the world..but, it's annoying. Guy's always tell me I'm very pretty (not to sound full of myself), and I'm also smart and kind to everyone. I'm shy sometimes though. Anyway, I've had guys ask me out, but the one's who do..are the one's I don't have a thing for. I'll admit..for some reason, I always go for guy's who are pretty much "players". I don't know why..I just find them cute and stuff. So, recently I liked this guy..he acts totally different around me then he does everyone else though! He acts like a nice guy around me, but then he'll go on myspace or even at school and start calling girls sexy and hit on them and stuff. Why don't I get that? I mean, I know he's had a thing for me for a while..and I kinda like him too..obviously he finds me attractive to like me, you know? Well, I asked my friends, because this happens to me a lot,..and they said he acts different and more like a gentlemen around me because he respects me? I mean, of course having respect is wonderful..but does that HAVE to mean I don't get a boyfriend because I have there respect? Ughh. But anyway, this brings me to my main question..why do guys only respect certain girls? Anyone please give me advice. Thankyou :)

I personally try to respect ALL girls, but some are just bitches, so I just ignore them, but I'm still nice to them if I have to interact with them.

Anyway, I think the fact that he isn't calling you sexy and hitting on you means that he genuinely likes you.

I have a list of 6 things guys do when they like, or, rather, 6 ways to know if a guy likes you:

1. They don't call you "sexy". They call you "beautiful", "gorgeous", "amazing", etc.

2. They make an effort to hug you. They might high-5 instead, but it really depends on the guy in question.

3. They DO find any reason to touch you in some way. Mostly it ISN'T in a sexual way. Its more of just an excuse to remember what you feel like, I guess. Its hard to explain...

4. He is always smiling around you. If you're feeling bad and he's around- he'll be smiling because he knows that he's there to help you- and that's like brownie points for a guy if they can help a girl out. That, like the above, is hard to explain.

5. He'll tell you things about himself that he normally wouldn't tell everyone. He opens up to you. Guys don't get a chance to do that when pressured to "be manly".

6. If you have a feeling that a guy likes you- you're probably right. Guys aren't the best at hiding it- and girls are even better at figuring these type of things out.


Reread number one:

1. They don't call you "sexy". They call you "beautiful", "gorgeous", "amazing", etc.


He calls the girls on myspace "sexy" because he doesn't want to say "beautiful", because that word means more than sexy. "Sexy" is like a get-out-of-jail-free card; there's no attachment to it. So, if a guy calls you "pretty", "beautiful", or the like, he REALLY means it.

That guy probably really likes you, and you're too worried about hating being respected. Most girls would KILL to be respected by guys like you are. So, enjoy it.

--Jack
(17/m)

[view]

I've been dating this guy for 9 months, and he treats me like crap, we dated for 4 months before that and he cheated on me, i lost my virginity to him and we almost had a baby together, we lost it at 8 weeks.

Ive been friends with this guy Ricky since 8th grade, I'm now a senior in highschool, i like Ricky but i love my boyfriend even though he treats me like crap, he always sucks up to me and i get sucked back in I've tried to brake up with him in the past but he always tells me things will change and i seriously feel as though i CAN'T break up with him i don't know why, thats just how it feels.

Ricky and i have been wanting to hook up since we like met but we just never did. Last night he told me that he liked me and he always tells me that my boyfriend is a loser and treats me like crap and i can do better. I do like Ricky but when we were talking last night we both came up to a conclusion that until we got to know each other better we should just be friends with benefits, we don't want to get attached for the wrong reasons though. We both want to hook up, and its not like im a whore and do that a lot Ive never had sex with a guy and not be dating.. and Ive only had sex with 2 guys. He isn't a player either, he hasnt had a girlfriend or sex in over a year because he simply is waiting for someone he likes, he told me he does like me but we just want to take things slow (besides the sex part)

I'M NOT GOING TO CHEAT ON MY BOYFRIEND.
I'm actually not even sure if we are still dating at this point because i called him out and messages that i found on my computer about him wanting to hook up with other girls and he wanted them to send him nude pictures. I mean i think were still together but were kinda on like a brake? it's weird.


I need advice on how to break up with him i feel so attached to him even though he treats me bad, he never physically hurts me but mentally and emotionally he does and I've lived with him now for about 5 months i dont know why i can't leave him everyone is always yelling at me to brake up with him and nobody understands that this feeling i have, it's seriously like i can't do it..?
has anyone felt like this or no what im talking about? How do i break up with him? Should i give Ricky a chance? i just dont want to be hurt anymore?

He treats you like crap. So why the hell are you still with him?

Break it off, no matter how much you don't want to, or how much he'll say it will change.

He's cheated on you repeatedly, even though you're kind of emotionally cheating on him. But hold that thought.

Break up with your "boyfriend" because he's a jerk. How? Say this: "[Boyfriend], we have to talk. I want to break up with you for real this time. And don't tell me things are going to change, because they never have. You're a liar and you've cheated on me. I deserve better than you. Goodbye!"

The fact that you're searching for someone else tells me that you're very unhappy in your relationship, so end it.

Then, after your relationship with jerkface is over, you can start to think about what you want to do with Ricky. If you want to be with him, sure, that's your choice, but it's kind of shady that he wants to "go slow (except for sex)."

I get the feeling that Ricky doesn't want a relationship with you; he just wants sex.

Why else would he "take things slow (except for sex)?"

Ricky just wants to be in your pants, and if that thought hasn't crossed your mind, I'm sorry, but I think that's the deal. He only says he wants to "get to know you better" because that's code for "I want to have sex with you, but with no strings attached."

He doesn't give a crap about you, can't you see that?

I would just take a break from guys and try to find one who will honestly like you and "take things slow" WITHOUT sex.

--Jack
(17/m)

[view]

19-female

what are the chances of me getting pregnant if i am on birth control, have been for about three years now and i take it at the SAME time every day and the guy uses a condom?

Low, but honestly, anything can happen.

WHENEVER a penis enters your vagina, whether he has a condom on or not, you're on birth control or not, he's six feet tall or not, sperm comes out or not, you're a virgin or not, he knows what he's doing or not, the condom doesn't rip, or whatever, you STILL risk pregnancy.

The only 100% effective way to not get pregnant is abstinence.

--Jack
(17/m)

[view]

a lot of my friends are smoking. i know its a bad thing to do...yet i still want to try it. can i have your opinion with an explanation to back it up please?

You know it's bad, so don't do it.

Smoking once drastically increases your chances of getting lung cancer. And, the more you smoke, obviously, the more of a chance you have.

There are so many statistics out there that can prove why smoking is bad, but, the best one, for you at least, since I'm assuming you're not 18 because you said it was bad, is that it's illegal.

I bet you're 13-16, and you want to try smoking because of peer pressure. Well, guess what? The moment you give in is the moment your friends realize they can get you to do a lot more than you're probably willing to. Take a stand and tell your "friends" how STUPID they are for smoking. It's not even cool, and I don't understand why anyone would do it. Since when is a bunch of smoke traveling through your lungs FUN?

I'll tell you what it is: suicide.

If you do decide to smoke, have fun killing yourself. And, you'll get addicted and won't be able to stop, without a lot of stressful work behind it.

--Jack
(17/m)

[view]

ijust have a quick question: why are(some) guys sweet and nice to you when you're alone and then when they're with their friends and they see you they turn into loudmouthed pigs and then all of a sudden you don't exist but the popular girls do?

also.. why do they think that after they ignore you one day they can go back to being sweeties the next and THEN they wonder why your mad.

please shed some light on the situation for me.
thanks
16/f

Guys do that because they are jerks. Stay away from those guys.

If he isn't the same around his friends as he is with just you, he's trying to be cool.

Why do they ignore you one day? Because a guy can go a day or two without having communication and be completely fine, while girls think there's something wrong if he doesn't call and text you every day.

But, in all honesty, I think a text a day is nothing too large to ask, so I always do, and I think if you don't at least send a "hello!" text, you don't really care about your girlfriend, unless of course you're very busy and there's like no time. But, a simple text isn't too much to ask.

Why do they wonder why you get mad after they don't talk to you? Because girls get mad about stuff like that. Have you ever seen a guy freak out because his girlfriend didn't call him today? Ok, maybe a few times, but not often.

--Jack
(17/m)

[view]

16 Female

This september, I'll be starting my junior year of high school. I'll be in all AP and Honors classes, so I will be under a lot of stress. I used to not eat lunch because I would have gym afterwards and I would cramp up very badly, but then I started in June and I had a LOT more energy. I was stunned that I could wake up at 6 AM with only six to eight hours of sleep and make it through the whole day without a nap. My grades were he best they've ever been.

Unfortunately, I gained weight because of this since my calorie intake was more than it had ever been before (although they were healthy calories) and I did not have any time to exercise (not counting gym class in school). On top of this, I realize that I am allergic to many different fruits and vegetables. Nothing serious, but it's simply uncomfortable in my throat and lips. These include: apples, pears, celery, zucchini.

I want to be energized and not feel the need to take a nap when I get back from school, but how do I eat healthy while avoiding the fruits and vegetables that I'm allergic to when the schoolyear starts? My goal is to be full of ENERGY to work when I get back from school and not be tired until 8 or 9 PM after all my work is finished.

I know you said you didn't have time to exercise, but what if you made time?

I mean, honestly, all you need is a half hour a day, to walk, do sit-up, crunches, jumping jacks, or jogging.

I'm sure there's at least a half hour each day you could find where you're just sitting down watching TV or doing something not healthy for you. A half hour isn't too much time; it's only the length of one TV show ;].

If you can't do it every day, try at least three times a week. Actually, if you tried working out the half hour after you got home, then you'd have a lot of energy to do your homework, get it done, and then relax the rest of the night.

As for fruits:

Raspberries, blueberries, strawberries, oranges, bananas [GREAT FOR YOU], pomegranates, cherries, blackberries, peaches, and the like. Try getting yogurt. Sure, it has some fat in it, but your body DOES require fat, as much as commercials tell you that fat is bad.

Vegetables:

Carrots, broccoli, tomatoes, lettuce, cucumbers, pickles, peas, corn, cauliflower, green beans.

Vegetables are kind of harder to pack for lunches, but if you asked your mom to have a side dish be a vegetable every day, you should be fine.

Find out how many calories you need per day, and try to meet that, and you shouldn't gain any weight.

only search advicenators.com


It depends on your height, age, sex, amount of exercise, etc., so make sure to find a GOOD calculator for it, not one that says "2,000 per day or bust!"

I wish you luck!

--Jack
(17/m)

[view]

Monday, August 3, 2009 at 12:19PM
modify remove organize post follow up



I have wanted to avoid this subject. I thought that it had no affect on me.

When I saw the breaking news on the television, that Michael Jackson was in a coma, I said , “Good, I hope he dies.”

Then they reported that he had died.

I said , “Good, another pedophile gone.”

Wow, Sometimes I surprise myself by my heartlessness. I am such a black and white person. You are either right or wrong in my eyes, and if I deem you wrong, then may whomever you believe in have mercy on you because I certainly will not.

I watch American Idol. It’s one of my favorite television shows. Last season when they did the Michael Jackson music tribute, I did not watch. I made a point of not watching. I hated to miss an episode, but still couldn’t believe that they would showcase a “known” pedophiles music.

I have made a point as well, to not listen to his music, since the charges were made.

That was difficult, especially during Halloween. Thriller has always been my favorite. I use to set my computer speakers on the porch and play Thriller over and over again. One year a group of parents all started doing the Thriller dance in front of my house. That was the best Halloween ever!! Can you imagine a group of people some in costume, some not in front of your house doing the Thriller dance? It was great!

But then when all of the allegations hit, then I personally boycotted Michael Jackson, as I have a son and found the whole mess apprehensible.

Since his death I have watched all of the interviews, and specials about Michael Jackson and his life.

It has finally dawned on me, that I don’t know for a fact that he was guilty. I will never know. More than likely no one will read this who KNOWS for a fact if he was guilty.

Of course he was found not guilty by a jury. But we all went through the OJ trial and we know that our system is not foolproof. There again, we Don’t know, but he wrote a book….

I read a lot of Blogs, and comments about Michael Jackson, and it’s such a hot topic. Everyone seems to be locked into their opinion.

I was locked into mine. But in death, it seems as though I am able to give Michael Jackson the benefit of a doubt that I couldn’t give while he was living.

It almost seems as though a family member has died. I did grow up with his music. I never knew how strongly I felt before, and I , myself, find it very odd. The human brain and how it works is itself very odd.

If we could give people the benefit of a doubt in life that we do in death, wouldn’t that be a beautiful thing?

The one and only person I have found that can do this is my Mother. She has such a beautiful soul. She emphasizes the good in everyone. And when she recognizes a persons bad traits, she prays that the good will prevail, and only focuses only on that. I am so lucky to have her as a Mother! Some may think of her as naive, but I truly believe that she is more astute than ALL who judge her !

I have to go to ADSAP classes, for a DUI from 2 years ago. No,sorry to disappoint , I am NOT perfect! There is a woman who goes to the classes I do. She is so honest with herself and all of us, I cringe. There are some secrets that you should take to the grave. However, she does share hers and she said how the memories haunt her at night, when she lays down for sleep. So she takes a sleeping medication.

I also, take a sleeping pill. If not, then every bad decision I have made in my life haunts me at night, and I toss and turn.

I started connecting the dots this morning and thought that Michael Jackson, must have some really bad demons if he had to take a anesthesia to help him sleep.

The reports have been that he was in a lot of pain.

I don’t know, the Pepsi commercial was a long time ago. How much pain could he be in?

Maybe he did do wrong to those children and couldn’t live with himself when it was time to lay down.

Maybe he endured so much wrong that those memories hindered his sleep.

Point is , We don’t know. He lived such a different life than all of us.

I don’t even think that most of us could comprehend what his “normal” was.

He was odd to us.

He was different.

But what did he have to compare his life to?

If he was indeed a pedophile then he is in the dirt where he belongs.

But if he wasn’t, could you imagine living in a WORLD, not just a Nation, where everyone thought that he was?

I have very mixed feelings.

I love the video I have posted. I love the beginning where he’s going through a sea of paparazzi,( I know it was green screened) looking very solemn and beaten, and then performs to an empty theatre. And the title “You are not Alone.”

But he was alone wasn’t he. And I think the video shows this. The irony is mind-blowing.

It shows that irregardless of how much money and fame you have, you are still in this world alone.

A world full of fans loved this man. But at the end of the day, he was still one man, alone.

I think that , as I have said before I give him the benefit of a doubt now.

And I may go so far as to say that I am in mourning.
I suppose my question is :
did anyone else have a change of heart with Michael Jacksons death?

Did I have a change of heart? Not really.

I never really liked him much. Sure, I liked Thriller and Beat It, but those were like the only songs of his I actually liked or even ever really listened to. I never had an interest in listening to his music, not because of his trials and whatnot, but because I just didn't really ever like him much.

Don't get me wrong, I find it really saddening when people pass on, and I wasn't HAPPY he was gone. But, I didn't feel like a family member died. And I probably won't ever feel like that unless an actual family member of mine dies. Ok, sure, I do have a few celebrities that I might shed a tear for when they go, but I won't sob uncontrollably.

But, just because I don't cry doesn't mean I don't care. I mean, I'm relieved that he's out of his misery [because, I agree that he must have been in a lot], and that his soul is finally at rest.

--Jack
(17/m)

[view]

I was on the on the phone again with my guy friend and he was suppose to sing song to me..He sung this song called I love you...AFter he sing it,,he say: "Now I can't get this i love you sonf out of my head..I dont know why"

Is he hinting sumehing?
..how is this important?

There's a good chance he likes you, or maybe he's just really spontaneous and comfortable around you.

I'm going to give you a list of what guys tend to do when they like girls:

1. They don't call you "sexy". They call you "beautiful", "gorgeous", "amazing", etc.

2. They make an effort to hug you. They might high-5 instead, but it really depends on the guy in question.

3. They DO find any reason to touch you in some way. Mostly it ISN'T in a sexual way. Its more of just an excuse to remember what you feel like, I guess. Its hard to explain...

4. He is always smiling around you. If you're feeling bad and he's around- he'll be smiling because he knows that he's there to help you- and that's like brownie points for a guy if they can help a girl out. That, like the above, is hard to explain.

5. He'll tell you things about himself that he normally wouldn't tell everyone. He opens up to you. Guys don't get a chance to do that when pressured to "be manly".

6. If you have a feeling that a guy likes you- you're probably right. Guys aren't the best at hiding it- and girls are even better at figuring these type of things out.


--Jack
(17/m)

[view]

Firstly, I am 15 and female. And my life is good right now, so I don't know why I would be sad but, anyways, this is my problem (please read, I know its long)...

I was looking through my previous questions from a couple years ago, and I realised I felt very sad at that period of time.
Then I went through a good phase, for more than a year.
Now I seem to be having the same feelings I had a couple years ago.
First was 7th grade, I was feeling lonely and depressed, next would've been the end of 8th grade, and now I am feeling the same in 10th grade.
It has come VERY sudden, A few weeks ago I was happy, now I have cried my self to sleep, held back tears when sad about nothing, hated my self and hated everyone and hated my life all in just a week.

The most recent sadness started about... last Thursday, then I was happy on the weekend (a bit angry, but happy), now I am sad again...
I am thinking it is school, but it feels like it might be a bit more serious.


Anyways, I heard that when u are depressed u get sad for a while, then you go happy, then sad, and it coninues for the rest of you life.
Do you think I have depression, or its just a sad time in my life, or its hormones?

I really hope I don't have depression, please help and dont hold back the truth :)

Thanks,
-Nat

I'm not a psychologist, nor am I going to claim to be.

Maybe it would be best to talk to one, or talk to a doctor, or talk with your parents or a trusted adult.

Sometimes talking out your problems can really help.

Maybe your feelings are just hormones, but it wouldn't hurt to go see a psychologist or someone who can better understand your emotions than myself.

--Jack
(17/m)

[view]

I am sure I went to bed at 1am last night. About 2pm today, I found out that I had called one of my friends on the phone at 3:30am, but I don't remember calling and I know I hung up when I heard the voicemail because she didnt get a voicemail and she didn't answer the phone because she was sleeping >

I would say it was either like sleepwalking, or you actually woke up, but forgot you woke up and called her.

But, it's probably sleepwalking. I know a few people that have done weird things in their sleep, like stand up on their bed, and then like fall over, because she thought she was diving into a pool. I've also had other friends like gnawing on their pillow, thinking it was food. I've had friends get up, turn on the TV or something, and then go back to bed, and then wonder how the TV got on.

My point is, our brain is most active at night, so maybe you just called her while you were asleep, obviously without knowing it. It wouldn't be too much of a stretch.

--Jack
(17/m)

[view]

14/F

Okay. Like, really, I am about ready to just give up on guys. Ugh. So this guy I like right now (well not really anymore) is a complete ahole, I don't even know why I like him. But he really only just wants to feel me up. Everytime I text him or call him, he says he's busy and that he'll text/call me when he's done... he NEVER does. But of course, whenever he calls/texts I should just be ready to talk to him. I don't know... He's sweet, but, what the hell?

Then there was the last guy I liked. I really, really, really, liked him for like two years, but he said he wasn't ready for a relationship. Which I can get because, yeah, I'm young and stuff so I thought we'd just wait till like highschool or something. Yeah well, he moved away. F my life.

And it kind of sucks because my three bestfriends are all insanely pretty, and I mean, I know I'm pretty too, but they're gorgeous. It sucks so bad that whenever we go out, the boys all flirt with them and then they turn to me like a sloppy second. Plus all of the guys at school like me, but they made this like "Top Five Hot Girls" and I wasn't on it. I know its stupid and dumb and immature and I should waste my time worrying about it, but it hurts you know? I love my friends, and they're the best but it's so hard hanging out with them, because all I can do is compare myself and it's all because I have sucky self esteem.

Then there's this other guy that I kind of like right now. But because I'm an idiot, I like threw myself at him. Like I tried to talk to him 24/7 so I looked like a creepy obsessed girl... and well I think I blew it with him which really stinks cuz I think it could have worked. And that whole ordeal really hasn't helped my confidence much at all.

So at the moment, I'm kind of just ready to give up. I think about all of that stuff I just wrote and, God, I feel so pathetic. I feel ugly and gross and unwanted and stupid. What the hell is wrong with me? Why can't I just be happy with myself? Why do these dumb boys' opinions matter to me so much?

I'll be the first to admit that guys are confusing, but they can be figured out.

For goodness sake, you are only fourteen years old. There's no possibly way you're going to suddenly meet the perfect guy at your age. I guarantee you that the guy for you is not from your town, and maybe isn't from your state.

This is why I've decided to stop dating until I'm in college, because there's no one for me in my town. I mean, sure, I have a lot of friends that I love here, but in college, I'll meet people from all over the country, and hopefully find someone who is just like me and that I can really get along with and maybe end up dating and possibly marrying.

My point is, you have SO much more time in your life to date. You don't have to rush it just because everyone else is doing it, especially when you've kind of had bad luck with those guys. I mean, certainly don't "give up" on guys, because what happens when you find a guy that's perfect, but you've told everyone and yourself that you've given up on guys? Do you just say nevermind? Do you just disregard everything you've stood for?

The best thing to do is not "give up", but to be cautious about who you get close to. Try to really get to know a guy before you date them. Like, the basics and maybe more in-depth things. I mean, you don't have to know his grandmother's favorite color or his father's middle name. I mean, get to know his personality, based off of his family and how he acts around his friends and around you. There's nothing wrong with trying to get to know a guy before dating him or getting feelings for him.

And honestly, I don't mean to say that you can't date a guy unless you know his personality completely; that is absurd. What I mean is that don't just date a random guy you meet at a party or something because he's hot, is a good kisser, or "seems" nice. Try to be his friend before you date him.

I wish you the best of luck.

--Jack
(17/m)

[view]

I wanna know everyones' opinions on age differences in relationships. Mind you, this is out of total curiosity, as a friend of mine and I were discussing this the other day. So I just want to know what you think, like, how big of a difference is too much, and what not.

When you're a teenager, age difference is very important.

I'd say the most you should be apart is 3 years.

But, if you're older, ten years, or even fifteen, doesn't matter.

If you're 13, the oldest you should be dating is 16.

If you're 33, I wouldn't really care if you were dating a 46 year old, or maybe even older. It's perfectly legal, and I guess whatever floats your boat.

It kind of goes case-by-case, and I've never really had a rule for ALL ages.

--Jack
(17/m)

[view]

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