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guys guys guys
I've been dating this guy for 9 months, and he treats me like crap, we dated for 4 months before that and he cheated on me, i lost my virginity to him and we almost had a baby together, we lost it at 8 weeks.
Ive been friends with this guy Ricky since 8th grade, I'm now a senior in highschool, i like Ricky but i love my boyfriend even though he treats me like crap, he always sucks up to me and i get sucked back in I've tried to brake up with him in the past but he always tells me things will change and i seriously feel as though i CAN'T break up with him i don't know why, thats just how it feels.
Ricky and i have been wanting to hook up since we like met but we just never did. Last night he told me that he liked me and he always tells me that my boyfriend is a loser and treats me like crap and i can do better. I do like Ricky but when we were talking last night we both came up to a conclusion that until we got to know each other better we should just be friends with benefits, we don't want to get attached for the wrong reasons though. We both want to hook up, and its not like im a whore and do that a lot Ive never had sex with a guy and not be dating.. and Ive only had sex with 2 guys. He isn't a player either, he hasnt had a girlfriend or sex in over a year because he simply is waiting for someone he likes, he told me he does like me but we just want to take things slow (besides the sex part)
I'M NOT GOING TO CHEAT ON MY BOYFRIEND.
I'm actually not even sure if we are still dating at this point because i called him out and messages that i found on my computer about him wanting to hook up with other girls and he wanted them to send him nude pictures. I mean i think were still together but were kinda on like a brake? it's weird.
I need advice on how to break up with him i feel so attached to him even though he treats me bad, he never physically hurts me but mentally and emotionally he does and I've lived with him now for about 5 months i dont know why i can't leave him everyone is always yelling at me to brake up with him and nobody understands that this feeling i have, it's seriously like i can't do it..?
has anyone felt like this or no what im talking about? How do i break up with him? Should i give Ricky a chance? i just dont want to be hurt anymore?
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okay i had the same thing happpen to me. I went ouut with tthis boy for 5 months and he would always cheat on me, like it was CRAZZY. i loved him sooo much and he always did suck up to me to. i thought about it, and i knew that i was so tired of being hurt and crying all the time. so i talked to him about it, and told him im tired of being treated like that and cheated on, he tryed sucking up to me AGAIN.. but i wouldnt let it get to me that time.
so i broke up with him. if guys really say they love you and hurt you ALLL the time why should you believe them ?
i think you should give ricky a chance if youve been talking to him like that, and try to get ur mind of that other person.
i hope i helpeddd <3 !
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If your "boyfriend" is treating you like crap, then dump his ass.
I know what your going through, its hard, i understand but still no one deseves to be treated like that. Give Ricky a chance but don't put out until you can aunoustly tell that he's serious about you and the relationship.
tell your "boyfriend" that your tiered of all the lies, and that has changed. tell him that he needs to grow up, be a real man, and learn how to treat woman better. then slap him and tell him it's over for good and that your not gonna ever take him back.
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He treats you like crap. So why the hell are you still with him?
Break it off, no matter how much you don't want to, or how much he'll say it will change.
He's cheated on you repeatedly, even though you're kind of emotionally cheating on him. But hold that thought.
Break up with your "boyfriend" because he's a jerk. How? Say this: "[Boyfriend], we have to talk. I want to break up with you for real this time. And don't tell me things are going to change, because they never have. You're a liar and you've cheated on me. I deserve better than you. Goodbye!"
The fact that you're searching for someone else tells me that you're very unhappy in your relationship, so end it.
Then, after your relationship with jerkface is over, you can start to think about what you want to do with Ricky. If you want to be with him, sure, that's your choice, but it's kind of shady that he wants to "go slow (except for sex)."
I get the feeling that Ricky doesn't want a relationship with you; he just wants sex.
Why else would he "take things slow (except for sex)?"
Ricky just wants to be in your pants, and if that thought hasn't crossed your mind, I'm sorry, but I think that's the deal. He only says he wants to "get to know you better" because that's code for "I want to have sex with you, but with no strings attached."
He doesn't give a crap about you, can't you see that?
I would just take a break from guys and try to find one who will honestly like you and "take things slow" WITHOUT sex.
--Jack
(17/m)
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Okay well, just like everyone tells you, you shouldn't be with your current boyfriend. He basically abuses you emotionally, it's his way of control. Abuse pretty much starts due to insecurities/trust issues of the abuser (your boyfriend). Relationships must be healthy in order to maintain them! Which means no abuse what so ever should be going on. First of all, you need to realize you can't change him..no one can be forced to change, and obviously he doesn't want to change if he keeps doing it. You can try to show him how the emotional abuse is bothering you, hopefully he'll try to change..it's doubtful though (found this on a good site). Also, you need to set boundaries! Don't let him take away your freedom..it's wrong and very disrespectful. Of course he's going to try and make you stay..I'm sure he does love you, he's just not able to treat you the correct way, which means..he needs help. In order to end this abuse you are getting, both you and your boyfriend need to learn how to express your emotions better. I found this on an emotional abuse website....
Know When To Say Goodbye: Sometimes, relationships are just wrong and cannot be saved. For your sake, and for the sake of your mental health, try hard to recognize as early as possible whether or not this relationship is even worth working on. The reason we date before marriage is to discover whether or not we are compatible. We thwart that process when we refuse to see that being treated poorly by another adult is unacceptable. If you are unhappy in your relationship, and have been for longer than half the time you have been together, leave. (Example: You have been unhappy for more than two years, but you have only been together for three years.)
I understand you don't want to cheat on your boyfriend, which is very good of course. And, you say you love your boyfriend although he treats you badly. Honestly, Ricky seems to be a way better guy who will treat you A LOT better. Don't take the emotional abuse from your current boyfriend. He can't and most likely won't change for you or anyone. He needs help himself before he can ever have a healthy and stable relationship. But, then again, it's up to you..if you want to stay in the relationship and try..I can't make your decision for you. But, if I was you..I would give Ricky a chance. He seems like a nice guy for you and he does like you, and you obviously like him. The friends with benefits thing..I don't know if you should do that. You can learn more about eachother if you just hang out as friends for a little while. I've seen too many relationships fall apart before they even started due to "friends with benefits"..but, who knows..maybe it'll work out for you and him by doing that! You both obviously want to! It is a good idea to learn more about eachother though, and to take things slow if any kind of relationship is to happen. Also, Don't be afraid to leave your boyfriend. And remember, family and friends are always there to support!
Hope I helped! Good luck.
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You should read Dreamland by Sarah Dessen. That might help you.
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