itsxalyssa's advice column

askitsxalyssa

advice column ask question view feedback favorite columnist advicenators

Q: 16/f

people usually say im pretty skinny, but i have 36 D's and i have a hard time standing up straight and supporting them because i already have back problems without the boobs. im pregnant though, so theyll probably get even bigger...

i hate hate hate the thick ass straps, and bras that come up so high that i cant wear a v neck or spaghetti straps. and i really hate push up bras because i feel like thats just tryin to make them loook better.

so wear can i get affordable bras that i'd like that will pick them up and keep them up. (cuz a lot of bras hold ya at first then they sink through out the day).

thanks !

I personally like Chantelle Bras. They are very comfortable, although some have thick straps. But you just have to look around, they have a lot of different styles. And they are made for girls with bigger boobs.
You can find them at Nordstrom & Nordstrom's Rack for about $30 dollars.

Good Luck!

Lyssa. 14/f

Q: what are some other guy artists/ boy bands that are similar to the jackie boys or chris brown ?. and what are some good songs?

New Kids On The Block, Far East Movement FM, Black Eyed Peas.

If you look on iTunes you can find a lot more.

Hope this helps!

Lyssa 14/f

Q: So I've been an athlete all my life. I love working out, it helps take the stress away. In middle school I swam for a club team year around, but then this recent school year (freshman year highschool) i decided to take a break from swimming and concentrate on my softball. This upcoming sophmore year, softball didn't go to well last year so I thought I'd do highschool swim team. My mom signed me up for this five week club swim team thing from 6;45-8:45 in the morning. It's hard as hell, and all the swimmers there have swam their whole lives and it's easy for them. I was doing it with a friend, but now she can't cause her shoulder is injured. The last thing I want to dois go to this thing, no one talks to me PLUS it's hard as hell. It was nice to have a friend there for support, and now that I don't have that I'm just not sure. My parents are pushing this down my throat, forcing me to go. I HAVE to go tomorrow morning, but my parents just don't realize I only do this to keep in shape, I'm not interested in swimming in college or going to the freaking olympics. I've told them this, yet their still forcing me to go. I tell them I don't want to and I feel like they are totally dispointed. It sucks, I just want to quit this thing and run on my own or something, but my parents are fucking making me do this. It reallly really sucks. What should I do?

I know exactly what you mean. My parents make me play soccer even though I do it just for fun and so I am in some sort of good shape. They don't understand that we don't want to be professionals. I believe you said that you've already talked to them about that? If so, I say you finish out the club swim team if there isn't to much time left. Then, I recommend that you tell your parents that maybe you want to just concentrate on softball. Even ask them to buy you a gym membership so that if you do stop high school sports you could go to the gym in the morning or in the afternoon and just work out there.
Also, since the economy is bad, you might want to think about college swim or softball. They could get you into a good college on a full scholarship if you are seriously good enough.

Good Luck!
Lyssa. 14/f

Q: I have a little bit of acne on my face and I want a good acne wash to get rid of it. I don't want something over-drying or anything though that will cause my face to lose that glow I have :)

Any suggestions?

I went to Origins and bought a mask. It's a ten minute mask called "Out of trouble". I use it every night, only because I had extreme acne. But it works well and doesn't dry out skin at all. Before I put on the mask, I use Cetaphil just to make sure I get all the dirt off my face only because I play sports.

So maybe, use a gentle cleanser and then a mask after.

Good Luck!
Lyssa 14/f

Q: i have had my puppy dolphin for 5 years and she has made me itch only sometimes when she licks me but i figured it was just from eating grass outside. then i went on vacation for 4 days, come back, and she doesnt lick me but i still itch. she just sat in my lap and i got all red and blotchy! i am not allergic to dogs and there is no reason why i should be itchy! what the heck is the problem?

Well, if you haven't been tested for allergies for a while, you could be allergic to your dog. Also, if she plays in certain grasses outside they could be rubbing on you and then you could itch if you are allergic to the grass. Also, maybe she has some sort of bug that is causing it.

Lyssa.
14/f

Q: I've been dating this guy for 9 months, and he treats me like crap, we dated for 4 months before that and he cheated on me, i lost my virginity to him and we almost had a baby together, we lost it at 8 weeks.

Ive been friends with this guy Ricky since 8th grade, I'm now a senior in highschool, i like Ricky but i love my boyfriend even though he treats me like crap, he always sucks up to me and i get sucked back in I've tried to brake up with him in the past but he always tells me things will change and i seriously feel as though i CAN'T break up with him i don't know why, thats just how it feels.

Ricky and i have been wanting to hook up since we like met but we just never did. Last night he told me that he liked me and he always tells me that my boyfriend is a loser and treats me like crap and i can do better. I do like Ricky but when we were talking last night we both came up to a conclusion that until we got to know each other better we should just be friends with benefits, we don't want to get attached for the wrong reasons though. We both want to hook up, and its not like im a whore and do that a lot Ive never had sex with a guy and not be dating.. and Ive only had sex with 2 guys. He isn't a player either, he hasnt had a girlfriend or sex in over a year because he simply is waiting for someone he likes, he told me he does like me but we just want to take things slow (besides the sex part)

I'M NOT GOING TO CHEAT ON MY BOYFRIEND.
I'm actually not even sure if we are still dating at this point because i called him out and messages that i found on my computer about him wanting to hook up with other girls and he wanted them to send him nude pictures. I mean i think were still together but were kinda on like a brake? it's weird.

I need advice on how to break up with him i feel so attached to him even though he treats me bad, he never physically hurts me but mentally and emotionally he does and I've lived with him now for about 5 months i dont know why i can't leave him everyone is always yelling at me to brake up with him and nobody understands that this feeling i have, it's seriously like i can't do it..?
has anyone felt like this or no what im talking about? How do i break up with him? Should i give Ricky a chance? i just dont want to be hurt anymore?

You should read Dreamland by Sarah Dessen. That might help you.

Q: Okayy, so heres my problem..i have an 8gb ipod touch but none of my apps will load. Everytime i try to load one something pops up saying to check my date and time settings..i jus moved from illinois 2 arkansas but i dunno if that has anything to do with it. Why wont hey dowload? Has anyone else had this problem? Please help! Thanks!!

Well, if you haven't tried to change your time settings(which would be the first thing you should do), then I would suggest that you reset your iPod. But put all your songs into a playlist on iTunes so you can just put then all back on after. Depending on how many songs you have on your iPod, it could take about a hour.

Lyssa. 14/f

Q: Hey i really a good diet because all i eat is fatty stuff but i cant seem to stop snacking, im not realy over weight but i need a good diet before i do get over weight! HELP!! thanks xx

Okay, I used to do the same exact thing that you do. What I started doing, was setting times for me to eat and snack at. I would eat at 8 in the morning, have waffles or something and then some snacks. Then I would tell my self that i wouldn't eat again until around 12:30. It always works for me. And also, just drink some water. It helps to fill you up. You don't have to diet or anything. And if you live by yourself, or tell whoever buys the food to get more nutritious foods like fat free, or sugar free, or organic. And just don't buy fatty foods as you put it.

Hope this helps!
Lyssa. 14/f

Q: I have so much acne!! I am on six different kinds of medication, I went to a doctor, and STILL I have pimples! My face looks like a pizza!! I want to be asked out at a school dance, but no boy will ask me cause my face has acne!!! I am ugly!!!

i know exactly what you mean! I used to have acne really badly! But make sure what you do, wash your face in the morning and at nigh,t, and after you sweat. Also, what I did was I went to the doctor and they took some of the puss from the pimples and tested it ( I know, that sounds disgusting). But I found out that it was a fungal infection! So try to ask your doctor maybe to run some tests on the stuff inside the bumps and then maybe he can give you the right treatment for your acne!

Hope I helped!

Lyssa. 14/F

Q: okay im 13 and i kinda like this boy, and he
says hes likes me. he even asked me to the movies
he tells me hes gonna call me, but doesnt, do i text
him to try to start a convo or does it seem like he
doesnt like me idk?

I say text him first. Calling may seem like a little to much at least from my opinion. But if you two are really into eachother, then i would call. But don't keep constantly calling and texting. That can get annoying to some people.
Hope I helped.

Lyssa
14/F

Q: i am 13 and i started living with my aunt and uncle around a year ago. i like thi sboy named dj, and he likes me too. we've been kissing and stuff, and it got far enough one time that he had my shirt off. i had on thia gray bra, and he kept looking at it like i was... well, immature. i want to buy thongs and bras that are kinda girlier, but i don't know how to ask my aunt?

Okay, well just my opinion, you are way to young to have your shirt off with a boy. But as long as you dont go to far, I'm sure your okay. Something you can do, don't buy thongs! Get some underwear with lace, or something. Victoria's Secret always has some nice stuff and they always have great sales!

Hope this helps.

Lyssa 14/f

Q: 13/m
with girls i go out with i always am afraid to hold their hands or do anything like that and my girlfriend dumped me just today because of it i really liked her and she was really nice to me and i liked her alot
i guess she just got tired of me being like that
oh i am talking to her now she said it seemed like i ignored her so now i feel like rubbish because i made her feel that way
so does anyone have any tips for being less fridget and being able to show my feeling a bit better

Ok, so if i have this right, she broke up with you because you don't like to hold her hand? Well, thats just weird to me. I guess that means she's the type of girl who likes to have her hand held. So, shes not your type. She likes to be held and you aren't the type of guy to give her that. So find someone else! Someone who doesn't need the constant attention she needs.

Your young! You can find anyone else in the world. And maybe with your next girlfriend, you can try holding her hand every once in a while. But it doesn't have to be constant. The truth is, you can't always do exactly what every girl wants because every girl is different.

Lyssa 14/F

Q: I'm 17/f and about to start my senior year in high school. My older sister just turned 21 and still lives in the house with the family. My mother has diabetes and this causes her not to be able to do things around the house as well. Well my sister has a habit of rolling her eyes, stomping around and whining when she is asked to do something. So of course my mom gets mad, but she holds it in. This instigating (as i call it) keeps happening. My sister will say something then my mom gets mad. Then whilst my sister seems act like she's the angel, she'll blame me for something and mom completely blows her top on me! I'm so tired of getting yelled at when my lazy sister gets off scott free!

What do I do?

Thanks,
Tired

Well, it sounds like your mom needs to kick your sister out of the house. Anyway, what you should do is try talking to your mom about it. Tell her that you didn't do what ever it is. The way your sister is acting is way out of her age. My little sister acts like that and she is six. Also, if you dad is around try to tell him and have him talk to your mom for you.

Hope this helps!