I think these feelings are normal. When you havn't really talked or seen anyone in a long time, then it can be really hard to adjust.

If you both have a great conversation on the phone, then you should talk to him the same way at school. Just go to him and say 'hi' or something else and it will probably get a conversation going. When you both are on the phone, just ask him to meet you somewhere tomorrow.

Plus, maybe you should see how your best friend is handling him since he's came back. Maybe she's feeling ackward too.

-TheTeenGirl

My suggestion is not to tell your close friend or any other friend what people around you are saying about them. It's not being loyal by telling them something hurtful. If she were to confront these other friends about what you heard, then you would be in the middle of something you never intended on being in.

No matter how much you try to avoid it, people will talk. You'll always hear something about someone that may be really good or really bad, but you have to decide whether you know it's true or not.

-TheTeenGirl

I don't think that you understand at all how serious this is of what you did.

Your mom can have your boyfriend arrested for having sex with a minor and I think she should. You completely blew your mom's trust.

She was going to let you have him over for a while even by yourself. Do you know how many parents around wouldn't let that happen? Hardly any. And then you disrespected her and showed her that you cannot be trusted with him for even 30 minutes alone.

I don't think your mom should be calling you a slut and all of those other immature names, but I definetly support her when it comes to not allowing you to see this guy anymore. I know you probably don't appreciate my answer, but you're being really selfish by making your mom worried about you and then trying to sneak out and misbehave even more. All you can think about is how you'll be able to see your boyfriend and try squeezing your way through your mom to see him again.

Can you really say or do something that will make her think that you can be trusted when you couldn't even be trusted with him for 30 minutes?

-TheTeenGirl

I'm not sure why your husband isn't ready to actually be a husband, but no matter what, you all are family.

He can deny this all he wants, but he has you as his wife, and a one year old son. That's a family.

But I am glad to hear that he will still support you with money, but is he still going to be a father for your son? I hope he will.

This really has to be hard considering the way you feel about this. But, I have to wonder why he started having these feelings after he went to his hometown. I think that there is still a lot you need to ask him about. Like, does he want to divorce with you and be with someone else? Does he just want to divorce you and your son and just abandon the two of you? Unless you havn't already, figure out what exactly it is that he wants.

Maybe he got homesick. Starting a family and keeping it taken care of takes a lot of work and maybe your husband believes that he can't do it.

As for going to school part time, if your husband isn't willing or can't take care of your son while you are in school, maybe you should consider day-care. My worry would be is that he's probably never been in day-care so he probably wouldn't adjust to it very quickly which is a really common problem.

For all of this, I would suggest counseling. To cope with your feelings about your husband not wanting to be in a family anymore. To raise your son alone if you need some help with it. But I think you have a lot of unanswered questions with your husband that you should try getting answers to.

-TheTeenGirl

So basically this guy lied to you by saying he was broken up with his girlfriend when he really wasn't.

That's the way I understand it and hopefully I understand it correctly. Well, you may really like this guy, but he's not the guy for you or any other girl that deserves the truth.

You need to just tell this guy that you need to say something to him in private or write in a note that you don't want anything more than a friend with him because basically he used you and lied. As for what to say to his girlfriend, tell her the way you understand it, you were told that he was not seeing anyone.

Let's say that I didn't understand it correctly and you are saying that after he made out with you he got a new girlfriend. That would still be wrong because that would make him someone who uses people. So no matter when he got this girlfriend, it's wrong to make out with a girl while or after getting a girlfriend.

I hope this helped you understand that this guy honestly isn't worth your trust.

-TheTeenGirl

I think the mistake you're making is the fact that you are worrying about this guy you're interested in and how he hates you, but yet you have a boyfriend already.

It's not fair to your boyfriend for you to be chasing this guy you like. If you want something more with this other guy, then you should end things with your boyfriend and be with him. I really don't see why this guy is acting mad because he found out you were with someone because he never asked. I guess you'll have to clear things up with him, but you should be doing something about your boyfriend first.

-TheTeenGirl

Being raped is a really horrific event and when you've had something that bad happen to you, you need professional help with your mental health.

Yes, I am talking about a therapist even though you don't want to go. Not all of them should freak you out. You have to get one that can help in this area and just give every option a try. These flashbacks will no go away on their own. The excuse you're using not to see one is typical. Therapists are not freaks and they aren't people who try butting into your life. They are people who want to hear you and help you with it. They never force information out of you.

Besides, what other option do you have at this point? You can't wait for these flashbacks to go away because they won't and you know that. This is something that will lay in your memory forever and that requires a lot of help you need to deal with the pain.

-TheTeenGirl

You really do need to like yourself and you need to get way better friends than this girl who claims to be better than you.

Being the quiet shy girl doesn't make you a loser and it certainly does not make everyone better than you just because some people have better 'comebacks' than you do. This girl is being really immature by trying to be better at insults and you can't continue to convince yourself that she always wins.

Having better comebacks does not make you a winner, it makes you look pretty stupid for trying to pick fights in school.

You really need to get a teacher or your school counselor involved in this. I bet if your parents knew about this girl always trying to get everyone to gang up on you, they'd go to your school and complain. Now I know you're thinking that you don't want to look like a loser by dragging in an adult, but don't you think you should end this stress for yourself and trying to think of what you are going to say to her the next day? It's honestly not worth your stress and time to think of ways to stick up for yourself to a girl that isn't even your true friend.

Let me also tell you that just because you might get shaky and scared when it comes to someone confronting you with insults, it's not a bad thing. That's what tells you that you don't belong in this situation. And it's your heart's way of telling you that you don't deserve this. So don't think down on yourself just because you may not measure up to her insults and her comebacks. In thev end, it matters how you handle the insults and how you handle yourself when it comes to being faced with immaturity.

-TheTeenGirl

To me love is more than smiling and feeling warm inside when you hear their name.

I believe that you can fall in love young, but not in as short as 4 months.

Everyone will always feel these huge butterflies and sparks around someone they like a lot in the first few months. It's definetly more than that to me, it's about still feeling those butterflies even though it's been a matter of years in a relationship. And those butterflies will get smaller, but I believe that true love is when you can still feel the exciting presence.

Love is also when you both consider each other's feelings on situations and you care deeply about what you're feeling about it. It's also when you get into fights or disagreements, you don't put down that other person for what they think of it. And when you are in fights, you never call names and if you do, you owe a big apology.

Mostly what I've learned, it's easy to have a good sexual chemistry with someone. Very easy. But, what I've mostly learned is that when teenagers fall in love, they have sex way too soon because they truly believe that they are in love when that's likely not the case. You'd be really surprised how much of a difference it can make if you spend at least two years talking about your feelings and sex before actually having sex.

But there is much more to true love then just the butterflies, the sweet talk and the cheesy stuff. And it's realy hard to identify whether you are feeling love because there is no exact explaination.

-TheTeenGirl

Whether you decide to be with this guy of two years again or not, you shouldn't date anyone else until you've had a lot of space to deal with it.

I would say it depends on the reason he broke up with you. But mostly it depends on what you think. If you believe in your mind that it could work out again, then maybe it could. Don't think with the part of you that is in love with him though. When you are really in love and something isn't right, the part of you that's smarter usually speaks up and you have to listen to it when it comes to something like this. If you know deep down in your gut that this won't work out, hold onto that and listen to it.

Now I'm not saying that you won't feel regretful if you decide to be with him again. After every break-up, you go through this phase where you feel regret for what you said or did. So don't freak out when you feel regretful.

My only concern about this guy is that he wants to kill these guys that are interested in you. If these thoughts are serious or he's really making threats or any of that, then you definetly need to stay out of the relationship. This guy made the choice of breaking up with you, so he definetly does not have the right to want to kill these guys. Two years is a really long time to be with someone, and I can't promise you that it won't be hard because it will be. Don't expect to not feel regret, and a lot of sad and angry feelings because that's part of a break-up. What you have to do is focus on yourself healing over this guy and putting these other guys on hold.

-TheTeenGirl

When you find that you aren't over your ex, then you should end things with this new boyfriend and give yourself a lot more space to get over him before you begin dating again.

A lot of people make the common mistake of dating someone right after they get out of a relationship because they think it will make them lose feelings and forget about that previous person. But sadly, it's not that easy.

But obviously this is more than a break-up problem. You are cutting and have depression and that has made you have to repeat the 9th grade. This definetly needs to be brought to your parent's or someone's attention immediatly. Having depression is way hard enough, but when you are going through a break-up, it's makes it way harder to deal with.

What you need to worry about is repairing yourself and not what's going on with this old boyfriend. To me, it sounds like he's moved on to a new girl and I honestly think you did the right thing by ending it because of constant fighting. So when you feel regretful about breaking up with him, remind yourself that you'd be going through the same thing all over again and that you can move on without him and you really can. Everyone has to go through long and tough break-ups and they get through it.

You will need a ton of support to do better in your school and have support for your depression and cutting problem. This is a way bigger problem than just a guy you can't get over. Your depression is the root to all of these problems. I'm not sure why you cheated on this boyfriend, but you have to learn from that instead of hating yourself for it. It's more important to know that it won't happen again and forgiving yourself than being full of hate and regret.

In times where you feel really upset and lonely, it's ok to cry and talk to someone about what you are thinking about and feeling. Your problems seem to be at a point where you can't handle it by yourself and who can anyway?

-TheTeenGirl

I understand your feelings when it comes to thinking that guys like curvy and meaty girls and it's not a lie. Some guys like skinny, some guys like meat on their girls.

But this all comes down to a little competition in your mind that you have with your best friend and all of the other girls in your school. You believe in your mind that if you don't have the guys holding onto you like a magnet, you are ugly and worthless. Which you know isn't true, but when you are in a world where just the skinny girls are getting the guys, your mind can't help but think that you've got a problem since you aren't attracting them like everyone else.

When a guy thinks you're hott, it can be a flattering feeling and it should be, but it's not that big of a deal as you think. When a guy says you are hott, it's just a comment about your body. Not anything inside you that really counts. It's just a compliment in physical terms, which can be good, but at the same time we should be worried about what people think of the person we actually are. Being told that you are hott is not big news at all. It's nothing like having a true boyfriend who loves everything about you.

When your best friends gets all of these guys, you get a little intimidated about yourself because you start wondering what she might think of you or the other girls. It's hard enough trying to figure out what every other girl in school thinks of you, but when your best friend becomes one of them, it just makes it worse.

Have you ever looked around and seen that lots of women who aren't very attractive are happily married? Can you imagine what they thought of themselves in school and around their friends? People who aren't that good-looking or attractive to guys in school end up happily married later on when the guys start getting mature and look for an attractive spirit. And luckily, we all choose what our spirit looks like.

Don't let what the guys do or say about you define what you look like. Let yourself define the person you are and what you look like. If you don't like what you see in physical terms, try fixing it if it can be done. If not, then just accept it just like everyone else does when it comes to an insecurity. It's ok to feel paranoid, but don't let it take over you. Dressing up like a slut and acting like one isn't worth it to just hear "you're hott" from a guy you might not even know!

-TheTeenGirl

This is not a good situation. It actually aggravates me a little bit because you are a married women and you are talking to a guy that is making sexual comments toward you and being a little bit too friendly.

Does he like you? No doubt about it. You need to get away from this man. Do you know how wrong it is to keep interacting with a guy who is being too friendly with you? I feel sorry for your husband mostly because he probably has no idea about this guy or the fact that he's doing too much with you.

If you continue to be "just curious" with a guy you feel interested in, you will wreck your marriage, no doubt about that. I think you are taking your curiousity way too far. Would you like the idea of your husband being curious?

I'm not saying that it's ok to be attracted to other men while you are with someone else, but you have to make sure that it's just a simple physical attraction and nothing more. You don't need to worry about whether he likes you or not, he does obviously and you need to get him to back off and not speak to him. I know you don't like this answer, but all I can think about is your husband and his wife in this situation.

-TheTeenGirl

Ok if I were you, I wouldn't just try isolating yourself from her. A lot of friends can grow apart, but don't try to end the friendship completely just because you feel like it's growing apart.

Besides, when you seperate from someone and they are trying to put you back in their life, isn't that saying something right there? Maybe your friend is starting to notice the friendship is starting to grow apart too and she's trying to save it.

You can still have this girl as your friend while having other friends. Don't just suddenly not sit by her at lunch and ditch her. By doing that, you are leaving her with no explaination and she will eventually catch on that you are avoiding her. So whether you want to or not, you will have to tell her that you don't want to be her friend anymore if you are going to do this again.

-TheTeenGirl

I don't think that Matt would ask you to his prom if he wasn't serious about you and if he did have a girlfriend.

However, it is strange that Tyler would tell you this, and I think he would have told you in the first place or even before you met Matt. So I think that Tyler might not be telling the truth. I think that it would be ok to go to this prom with him and get to know him more, and then you'll find out what he's really all about.

-TheTeenGirl

Remember that taking rejection is really hard, so I'm glad that you want to do this as gently as possible.

You should say something along the lines of, "I'm really flattered that you'd want to go with me, but I really don't want to" or if you already have someone taking you, tell him that someone else has already asked.

-TheTeenGirl

Maybe you should slow your mind down and give yourself some more time with this. You seem to like more than one guy or you may not have any feelings for them at all.

Sometimes a way to tell whether you like someone or not is if you find yourself day-dreaming about him and you as a couple and you like it. Who knows why you are fighting to like this guy you are pretty close to, but maybe it's the fact that you wouldn't be happy about most of his friends being girls that's keeping you away.

Instead of jumping to the question of whether he likes you or not, maybe you should call this guy over the phone and see if you can get to know him better and then start seeing him after school. Maybe you feel ackward thinking about dating a guy who is pretty close to your best friend and that might scare you.

If you know for sure that this other guy doesn't feel anything more than a friend for you, then I'd consider him no longer a problem on your list. It's hard when someone doesn't like you back, but try using the warning signs of how you knew for sure you liked this guy and apply it to the way you react to this guy that might like you and that could help you decide whether you like him more than a friend or not.

-TheTeenGirl

I think you should try talking to him if you really want to start anything with him. If you keep following him around, what are you accomplishing except the fact that you get to see him? Not really anything.

I know it really makes your day to see him and follow him around, but why don't you get your friend to talk to him or say something so that maybe he'll start talking to you or waving at you when he sees you. I don't see anything happening with following him around.

So if you don't want to talk to him, then I'd just find someone else whose in your classes.

-TheTeenGirl

Insanity has nothing to do with the way you are acting.

There are times in your life when you feel like nothing really matters and that's usually because you've lost somene or something really important to you or something has happened to make you depressed, or you can even feel this way when nothing has even happened.

I think you are escaping in great way aside from smoking pot. I think that you should bring attention this this method you are using to escape because it only makes you away from your problems in the moment, not forever.

You said that your family life is pretty good aside from your father. Instead of taking your problems to a therapist, try telling your mom what's going on. I know you might feel a little ackward and afraid of how she will react, but if anything, she'll be glad that you told her. If you find yourself depressed a lot and trying to get out of it, then you should try getting some help because you might be depressed. And who knows why you would have it, but you can for no reason and it could be your father's issues and how you find yourself blaming a lot of things on him.

Sometimes friends can really surprise you. There was a time when I thought my friends really wouldn't do a lot if I were upset and came to them for advice, but one day I was crying in school and I can't believe how much support I got that day and how many of my friends were wanting to take me to the counselor and talk to me. That's when I knew that if I really needed to talk to someone, I could always go to my friends for help. Friends don't have the solution to your problems, but they have emotional support by telling you that it's ok.

-TheTeenGirl

Your friend is a very selfish and jealous person as you mentioned.

The thing is that she doesn't like the fact that you won't put her before your husband and she may think that your husband keeps you home. So this makes her just feel angry at him because she feels like she's been replaced.

What you have to do is explain to her that you aren't able to just pick up everything and leave to go visit her and if she keeps hating your husband for it, then you might not even make an effort to come see her sometime. It's pretty low and selfish when you hate someone because they are married to someone and they actually have started a new life. It's something you have to get over when it comes to marriage.

Your friend needs to stop being so childish and just wait until you can come visit her at your own convinence.

-TheTeenGirl

My name is Erin and I am now 18 years old. You may realize through out looking at my column, some of you love me and some of you flat out hate me. There's really no gray area with me I guess you can say.

I haven't given advice here in so long and it's only because I got caught up in life. But I'm more mature than I ever thought I could be.
So anyway I'm here again. It's been a long time, but I still love giving advice and still plan on it in the future.

Everyone should feel free to Private Message me for advice, I can be harsh, but I'm always trying to help someone by giving them the truth they need.

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