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confused....
me and my husband are trying to have a baby...but my best friend of seven years called my mom behind my back and was telling her that she doesnt want me to get pregnant, and that she doesnt want us to be together and that when she gets home shes gonna do everything in her power to split us up...she even said she was gonna bring a bunch of guys around me and stuff to try and get me to leave him to go with these guys so...i told my husband about it and he got mad and said i shouldnt even talk to her anymore...so i wrote her a letter telling her how i felt...i told her that it was selfish for her to want to split us up when i am happy she should be happy for me so she called me and said that i was selfish because i didnt want to come to mississippi to see her and stuff and that was selfish of me so she evidently thinks its ok for her to do what she did because i couldnt just up and go to mississippi to see her...what should i do?
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Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Friendship?
Your bestfriend is crazy and jealous of you...that is not your friend...if she can't understand that...just move on
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What a terrible terrible excuse for a friend. The best thing you can do now is to cut all contact with her.
If you are in the middle of trying for a baby, it is very unreasonable of her to expect you to come and see her in Mississippi and just drop what you are doing. To then use this as an excuse to go to such blatant lengths to try to ruin the happiness you have probably worked very hard to obtain is unforgiveable.
Whatever sort of friend she might have been in the past, I can assure you that she is anything but a friend to you now. I would suggest you make no effort to contact her and ignore any incoming telephone calls or written correspondence from her. If she starts contacting you on a regular basis or makes threats to you again, you should speak to the police and they will give her a warning for harrassment.
Right now, your priority is your husband and the family you are trying to create and stress is not condusive to creating new life so try to let it slip from your mind for now. You know your husband loves you and you have no reason to believe she would be able to split you up. The only thing her attempts will dois destroy whatever reputation she may have.
Most people that make such threats do not follow up on them but if she does, make sure you have a plan together so that you know what to do. Always carry a mobile phone with you when you are out alone and you should be fine.
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Your friend is a very selfish and jealous person as you mentioned.
The thing is that she doesn't like the fact that you won't put her before your husband and she may think that your husband keeps you home. So this makes her just feel angry at him because she feels like she's been replaced.
What you have to do is explain to her that you aren't able to just pick up everything and leave to go visit her and if she keeps hating your husband for it, then you might not even make an effort to come see her sometime. It's pretty low and selfish when you hate someone because they are married to someone and they actually have started a new life. It's something you have to get over when it comes to marriage.
Your friend needs to stop being so childish and just wait until you can come visit her at your own convinence.
-TheTeenGirl
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Your husband has every right to be angry and not want you to see or talk to her again. I think you would feel the same way.
Imagine that the situation was reversed... One of your husband's old buddies said he was going to do everything he could to split you up, and was going to bring around a bunch of hot, young chicks to try and get him to leave you. All because your husband didn't have enough time to visit with him now that he's married and has all these husband's responsibilities.
How would that make you feel? Would you want your husband to have anything else to do with him? Would you ever trust that "buddy" to not be conspiring behind your back? I wouldn't. That's not a real friend at all.
And even after confronting her with it, she turned it around and blamed it on you? She can't even take responsibility for her own choices and actions, she has to blame it on the victim? (Run away! Run away!) I'm afraid it would be foolish of you to have anything else to do with her. The writing is on the wall.
Sorry to hear this happened to you. It hurts when you find out a friend isn't really the friend you thought they were. :-(
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She probably feels a certain hatred towards your husband because she might think you couldn't go to Mississippi because you had to spend time with him. Therefore, she is jealous.
If that isn't it then it really doesn't matter. Forget her as a friend. If you're old enough to be married then she is acting immature and shouldn't be able to socialize with people your age. Tell her to go to a high school and hang out with everyone there. She'll get along swell with them.
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I think you already know what to do, you just want someone to justify your actions for it. Stop talking to her and just let her go. She is not any friend I would want to have. I've had something like this happen to me. My best-friend text messaged my fiancee and told him I had a husband and a boyfriend to try to split us up. (It wasn't true!) Anyways, Your "friend" saying she is going to do these things is not a friend at all. You deserve to have a friend there for you that is happy that you are married and want to start a family not someone that is trying to destroy it.
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Ignore her.
Your 'friend' is out of touch with reality. If this is the way she is going to behave each time she doesn't get exactly what she wants (i.e. you visiting her) then she is absolutely no good.
Chances are she wont actually do anything to split you up. I mean really, you and your husband are adults who are happily in love, it doesn't matter what guys or girls she sends around does it? What a pitiful threat.
If she continues to call you or your mother to harass you, then block her number or call the cops, but for now, she isn't worth your attention. Ignore her temper tantrum unless it becomes abusive.
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Hey,
Ok I honestly don't think she is your *friend* if she is going to go behind your back an do that. If that were me in your friend's position I would tell you how it would change things if you were to have a baby, So she probably thinks that if you have a baby you wouldnt care about yalls friendship an it would probably fade away because of something new in your life. So obviously your friend is probably more than likely jealous!! But I dont think this should ruin anything you should just talk to her an exsplain to her that it bothers you that she cant come to you with her problems, an let her know how much you love her an that nothing will change if you have a new love in your life.! Hope I helped somewhat!
-Stephanie
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