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Girlfight; my close friends chosing sides; standing up for m
ok, in short: I just started highschool, my class hated me but I found a couple of girls that were cool. One in particular, the thing is..she's prettier than me, smarter than me..and yes, better than me. And today we had a fight, and there's no doubt in my mind that everyone will choose her side. Also, going in to the school, I had a couple of close friends from my previous school, that REALLY loved me, I was their little cute friend who they had to protect sort of. Now as soon as I got to the school, she had to make them all like her BETTER. It feels like everyone I know, she has to know BETTER. Everything I do, she has to do BETTER. And the list goes on. So one of my fears after this fight is that all my old friends will side with her since she'll be going around saying stuff. And I'm known for the quite shy girl. So I can't to anything to stand up for myself, she's used to catfights, she'll know what to say to embarress me, to shut me up. I don't stand a chance. And no, I can't talk to my old friends, because they like her more now, and I just don't have that courage. I've tried "talking" back to her when she insults me (in a joking way) but she always wins, so I know for sure I won't be able to do anything. I'm just frustrated, I hate who I've turned into! I'm the shy girl who can't stand up for herself, how can I be proud of myself? I just wish I could like myself, you know? Please help me with what to do!!
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Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Friendship?
You really do need to like yourself and you need to get way better friends than this girl who claims to be better than you.
Being the quiet shy girl doesn't make you a loser and it certainly does not make everyone better than you just because some people have better 'comebacks' than you do. This girl is being really immature by trying to be better at insults and you can't continue to convince yourself that she always wins.
Having better comebacks does not make you a winner, it makes you look pretty stupid for trying to pick fights in school.
You really need to get a teacher or your school counselor involved in this. I bet if your parents knew about this girl always trying to get everyone to gang up on you, they'd go to your school and complain. Now I know you're thinking that you don't want to look like a loser by dragging in an adult, but don't you think you should end this stress for yourself and trying to think of what you are going to say to her the next day? It's honestly not worth your stress and time to think of ways to stick up for yourself to a girl that isn't even your true friend.
Let me also tell you that just because you might get shaky and scared when it comes to someone confronting you with insults, it's not a bad thing. That's what tells you that you don't belong in this situation. And it's your heart's way of telling you that you don't deserve this. So don't think down on yourself just because you may not measure up to her insults and her comebacks. In thev end, it matters how you handle the insults and how you handle yourself when it comes to being faced with immaturity.
-TheTeenGirl
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The first thing I want ask is, What was the fight about in the first place?
You have to walk around with your head held high, whether you think this girl is better than you or not. Chances are she is a very shallow person and uses all of her 'friends' in a small way to get some gain out of it. If this is the case, she will be called out on it eventually anyway. If your friends, old and new, are flocking to this girl, I would definately say it's time to make some new friends.
Going to a new school is a very scary thing, especially if you just enter high-school. That puts you on the bottom of the totem pole. How you handle yourself now, could dictate your entire high-school life.
My advice to you is, don't say anything. Is it really worth it to show your ass in front of everyone, just like her? That only proves that you are trying too hard to be like her, which is exactly what you want to avoid. Pick up your self-esteem, look her in the eye, say 'I'm sorry', and leave it at that. By doing this, you are better than she could ever be. You would be surprised at how many people will take notice of it.
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