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July 7, 2005

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September 21, 2006

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Hi. I left and came back. But I don't like this column anymore. Check out my new column.

http://www.advicenators.com/column.php?u=thefish

advice

ok, if you read the back of a mountain dew bottle it says like alot of stuff about what its made of, and one of the things its made of is yellow 5, now i heard that yellow 5 kills sperm cells. but i also heard alot of other stuff that is suppoust to kill sperm cells that wasnt ture but i heard this is really really ture. so does yellow 5 kill sperm cells and makes it a less chance to get a girl preggy?

No. Mountain Dew does NOTHING to sperm, and you should NEVER EVER use it for birth control. It won't work.

well i was wearing a skirt today rite and this hott guy who is in all my classes was like talking to me and we both asked the teacher if we can use the bathroom so we both left and we were just talking for like 5 minutes while every1 was in the classroom. also he walks with me alot and we hang out alot 2 and he always pushes me in a flirty kind of way and when he pushes me he stares at my ass because my skirt goes up. and today at lunch he was all like u no 1 thing that will never change about you is your big ass.is that a compliment because i think it is? what should i do? should i tell him i like him? what if he starts to grab my ass or touch it? what do i say? what do i do? help urgently.remeber i rate fives!!!!! thanx in advance. f/13
L.

No, it's not a compliment. In fact, it's a huge insult. He only wants your body--stay away from him!! You want somebody who likes you as a person. Trust me, this guy is no good.

1m 15/f. my 8th grade dance is coming up and i need a place to gat pretty high heal shoes. but i dont know were i can find any. my grandparents are going to pay for it but i have to figure out were to get some.....so, im open to any suggestions!!!!!!!

Wal Mart.

Hey Im making a CD to go with my friends birthday presents with a song by each of her fave bands, I listen to most of them but not Nirvana, can someone tell me the best Nirvana song in thier opinion....thanks xx

My favorite is "Rape Me".

The girl with loads of confidence seem to have it all. All the gilrs want to be "her" and all the guys want to date her. The girl that gets good grades and a varsity ahlete. My question is how does she reach the level of complete control over her own life-the confidence-likeable personality.Where does it all come from? my goal is to become her but a better version "me" without being completely fake. it woul dmean the worl to me if I had advicenators to help me out. THANKS YOU!

It probably comes from being pressured. By her peers, by her parents--it's all the same. Trust me, you don't want to be the girl who has everything. You'll have nothing to look forward to. Don't try to change yourself. Instead, just look at the good things about yourself and focus on loving yourself for who you are. That's how you get confidence. You don't need to be perfect to be happy.

i need to get rid of my acne, quick. please help me. i know about pro active but is there anything i can use without buying stuff like creams. if not products are good too. at this point im desperate. anything will do. * automatic 5`s if you give me atleast 7 different ways to get rid of acne *

-Clearasil.

-Neutrogena.

-Don't touch your face too much.

-Stop eating sugary/oily foods.

-Wash your face all the time!

-Try to reduce stress.

-Birth control. (Don't bother with this one if you're a guy.)

How do I make my lips apear bigger?

Lipstick/gloss is designed for exactly this.

What is that song called,

Song 1.it goes "dont go chasing waterfalls,please stick to the rivers and the lakes that your used to,i know that you guna have it youur way or nothing at all,but i think your moving to fast." featuring left eye? much help is appreciated!!

Song 2 : it goes "what would you do if your son was at home,crying all alone on the bedroom floor cuz hes hungry,and the only way to feed him was to sleep with a man 4 a little bit of money and his daddys gone...."

im sorry,if im asking for too much,you dont have to name both of them,but thankyou!!

Well my Boyfriend I Have Been Going Out For 6th Months now. ABout 3 Weeks Ago I Wasn't At School On Monday And We Had A Pep Rally... You Know With All The Cheerleaders and Ya! Well ME And My BF Were Walking ANd He Said That He Sat In The Back And He Said That The Cheerleaders Had Nice Butts! I WAS LIKE OMG! I Dont Think You Should Be Telling Me This! But What Do You Think?! I Need Some Opions! I Will Rate Good! Thanks!
[♥] Staci

Personally, I wouldn't think it was such a big deal. People have butts, and some are nicer than others. And it's perfectly okay for anyone to look at other people's butts. If it happened to me, I would have said, "I guess, if you're into girls with flat, bony butts." Unless they really did have nice butts, in which case I would wink and say, "Yeah they do." That's just me though. If you are really upset about it, you should probably have a talk with your boyfriend.

aright,yesterday people were sayin in their away messages, 'out celebrating 4/20' and on wednesday, my dance teachers daughter said to her friend, haha, tomorrow is 4/20! and uhmm im totally confused could somebody fill me in? thanks

It's national pot smoking day.

My best friend, we can call her H, just told me she was bi, and now has a girlfriend. Now don't get me wrong, i have no problem with her being bi, it's just i'm soo weirded out, because 2 months ago, she was grossed out about people being Bi, and said she'd never be it. Now yesterday she was confused if she was bi or not, and today shes "sure" she is and she has a girlfriend.

I'm just so weirded out by it, and i don't know why.

Any ideas what could be my problem, it's kind of sad i don't even know what i'm feeling, maybe this situation was the same with someone else? if so, please help. Thanks.

Questioning one's sexuality is very confusing. When she was grossed out by it, she might have been disgusted by her own feelings, or that may have been her way of testing the water. She might have just said that to see how you reacted, so that she would know if she could come out to you. About changing her mind...well, it happens a lot. I've gone through several phases when I only liked women, and others when I've only liked men, which I'm certain confused my friends. I also go through phases where I want to have lots of children, but right now I just want to have cats. People change their minds, teenagers especially. We're trying out different roles to see what we want our life to be like when we're adults. And it doesn't take very long to change your mind. It could take a second. Your friend had an entire night to become "sure" about it.

And I bet this isn't the last time she changes her mind.

Now, about your problem. You don't actually have one. There's nothing wrong with feeling the way you do--it's a perfectly natural reaction. It's like you're in an amusement park, and your friend is pulling you by the wrist. The second you get to the ferris wheel, she turns and pulls you to the roller coaster. What you need to do is break away from her, and go sit on a bench or something. In other words, stop caring so much about her sexual orientation. Like I said, she's going to change her mind a lot. She's going to come up to you and say, "I don't like guys at all--I'm completely gay now!" You smile and nod and say, "That's nice." Because I guarantee that within a month, she's going to have a boyfriend. Just let her experiment, let her make her own mistakes, and don't concern yourself with what she does unless she's in danger. Her orientation is not your problem. She's still herself no matter what happens, focus on that. Just let it be, and the weirded out-ness will go away. I know it seems hard, but it isn't. Just take a deep breath, clear your mind, and accept. Do this as many times as you need to. Trust me, I've done it and it never fails.

Good luck!

I need help about religion. I currently attend a unitarion Universalist church and I am taking the class and all that. Oh yeah and im 13/f. I really do not know what I beleive in. I guess you could call me agnostic, but I do believe that there is a higher power out there. I just dont know what. The thing is, no offense to anybody, I just dont believe that God sends people to hl for sinning and stuff. I really dont know about christianiy all that much, but Im from the south where alot of people are really mean but they think they are such good chrisians because they read the bible. My question is is this normal? I just dont know what to believe and its anoying becuase some people are like "Why dont you believe in god?!" and its really embarrising.

Of course it's normal! You believe in whatever you want. You don't have to believe in any one thing just because someone else says you have to, and you can change your beliefs if you need to. It's nobody else's business what you believe in--that should really be a private thing. When they say that, just give them a funny look and keep walking.

My boyfriend and I had a really big fight because I'm in band & he doesn't support me singing. He sayz I don't spend enough time with him when I'm always with the band and we only meet on weekendz anywayz. I broke up with him because he was being an ass about my dream & wouldn't understand how much I loved singing. So now I'm feeling really stupid cuz he loved me and I miss him. I'm starting to think he's more important than the band, but the band has alwayz been my dream for life! What should I do?
xoxo ~Sabrina~ xoxo

You stay broken up with him. He tried to control your life. That's what we call a BAD GUY.

It's almost my boyfriend and I's 2 month anniversary... do I get him something or just ignore it? If I should get him something what should it be?

If it were me, I'd just say "It's our two-month!" and give him a hug and a kiss on the cheek. It's not that two months isn't a big deal, but don't get him a $200 stereo for it. Actually, I think that a hug from your loved one is always worth more than a stereo.

Usually when people talk to me, the first thing I think is more like

"Okay", "That's interesting", or
"That's nice to know."

Not much of an opinion or anything. Bleh... and I don't want to say anything stupid.

What can I do to change that? I don't want people to think I am ignoring them when I don't respond quickly or think I'm stupid if I say something wrong.

While they're talking, you should make eye contact, smile, nod, do anything to look interested! They'll think you care, and keep talking. Most people are self-centered. They don't really care what you have to say, they just want to tell you things. So if they think you're really interested, they can chatter away and not expect you to say anything. Trust me, I do this every time I'm in that situation and it works. It works when it's used on me, also.

I want to lose at least 20 pounds before summer

am i waaaay to late to start a diet right now? will it be like impossible to lose 20 pounds before june 1st?

It's possible. Drink a lot of water, stay away from sugary things, eat healthy snacks only, lay off the bread, and play Dance Dance Revolution every day. Don't take a break and eat an ice cream sundae--it's very hard to get back on track. If you don't have DDR, you can walk.

Although, you technically have more time than that, since summer starts on the 21st.

The important thing is not to put pressure on yourself! Go at your own pace. Also, don't count the pounds. If you're exericising, you're gaining muscle, which has weight. Instead, count it by the jeans you can fit into.

My two best friends, have started shop lifting and the other week stole £50 in value each I want them to stop because I don't want them to get caught.
I want to go shopping with them but if they're stealing and they'll get caught I will get in trouble to.
I think they're peer pressuing me to they all telling me to join in and its fun but I really dont want to.........
How can I get them to stop?????
Please help I rate high!!!!!!!

Don't try to get to them to stop. Trust me on this one. If you do, that will make them try harder to get you to join in. This is going to seem like the wrong thing to do, but the best thing you can do is just turn the other way. Don't go shopping with them because you're right, you WILL get into trouble if they're caught. To the security guards, teenagers are all the same. You can do other things besides shopping, like watching movies at home. And if they start talking about shoplifting, either ignore it or subtly change the subject. Eventually, I'm sure they will be caught, and that will probably make them stop. Unfortunately you can't be responsible for your friends' actions. This is what my mom told me, because when she was a teenager she told her friends to stop smoking, and they pressured her into doing it. Guess what? She's still smoking. I've been following her advice for eighteen years now and so far it's worked. I know it hurts, but your friends are going to do things whether you like it or not. They're responsible for themselves, and if they want to make bad choices, that's up to them. Whenever you feel pressured, just walk away. If it gets really bad, it may be time to find some new friends.

my 8 month old black pekingese-poodle has this big red bubble thing on her eye, its like almost under her right eye lid. She ahs this before but not this bad, we pushed it back into her eye but now like a month later, it came back out and she won't let us pish it back in. Does anyone ahve an idea on waht this is?

I have no idea but it sounds like it could be bad. Get this dog to the vet!

When I rate people, I generally give all 5s, maybe a 4 or 2, and a 1 if someone is completely rude or didnt answer the question. Well..Let's say I ask a question and I get 5 answers. One of them is horrible, so it gets a 1 rating. The second is okay but kinda bad, so a 3 or 4. The next 2 answered the question and werent jerks, but the 5th wrote a 5 paragraph answer and included links to websites and personal experiences, etc. Should I rate the the 3rd and 4th people 5's like the 5th person, or should I give them fours because there was a better answer?

NOTE--Im rating all fives on this question no matter what

My opinion is that you shouldn't rate people because they were better than others. If it's good enough for a five, give them a five. Just because somebody else went to the next level doesn't make the other person's advice bad.

I usually just give them a five for trying their hardest. If it doesn't actually help, I kindly explain that in the comments. If they're jerks, I give them a one.

IM 15/f and i really like this kid who has a gf and turns 18 today. i've practicaly changed part of my life to win him over. I think i;m going to give up b/c he has a gf. i talked to him a while ago. i was stupid last month and told him i loved him. he said he kinda liked me but he has a gf. she is 17. I started to dress different and listen to different music and like different things. do you think i should give up on him and just stop thinking/talking to him/seeing him. or should i act like everything is fine? he is going to help me this summer to helo me join the basketball team next year. im rly excited. i dont know what to do though b/c everytime i see him or talk to him i fall in love with him again. he flirts with me and everything and i love it. but, i dont know if i can do it anymore. so do you think i should forget all about him and move on or should i just continue getting my heart broken when i see him and just wait for something to finally happen? i rate good answers.

thanks!!

Yes, you really should give up on him. You stay this way and things are going to get messed up. What if he leaves his girlfriend for you? You may think it's great for you, but put yourself in her position. I've seen it happen many times--the guy leaves his girlfriend for another girl, the other girl is hurt, all out war between the friends of all people involved. I've also seen my best friend struggle trying to get an unavailable guy's attention. You have no idea how much it hurt me to see her hurt like that. You are not going to be happy with this guy, especially since you had to change part of your life for him. NEVER, EVER change yourself for a guy. I cannot stress that enough. If someone doesn't like you for who you are, they are not worth your time. I'm not saying he's a horrible guy, but he's not the guy for you. If you don't think you can be friends with him without falling in love, tell him you can't be friends, and walk away.

Also, a side note (but an important one): the fact that he's flirting with you, though he KNOWS a relationship isn't possible, shows that he's not a great guy. He wants to have his cake and eat it too, as they say, which means that he wants his girlfriend, but he wants to fool around with you on the side. Don't let guys use you like this!

Oh, and if he ever did end up going out with you, he'd probably do the same thing behind your back.

I know it's hard, but you have to get over him. And in the future, you have to protect yourself, or you're going to have more than your heart broken. A bad guy will ALWAYS tell you that he's a bad guy, you just have to be paying attention. This guy has bright yellow warning lights all over him.

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