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I hope that if you come to this site, you feel at least some reassurance. Life is messy, life isn't perfect, and I love that there is a place, virtual as it is that can acknowledge this. I don't pretend to be perfect or know everything, but I promise that if you ask me a question, or if I see one and take an interest, I will answer it as best I can.Check out my forum here:
http://www.advicenators.com/talkaboutme.php?userboard_id=41589
to post/comment on a topic =]
advice
I met this nice Italian guy on Myspace,
and he wanted to know if we could talk
over MSN, so of course, I was like, sure.
He seemed really nice but then he wanted to
get on his webcam, so I said alright.
I've watched other people (non-sexually) on webcam.
Of course I had to tell him: don't strip or anything,
and he said he wouldn't, but then I guess he
changed his mind and took all his clothes off?
I felt weird saying "No" and he obviously wasn't
going to take "No" for an answer.
Oddly, I watched him but felt really nervous the whole time.
Not to sound like a dork or anything,
but I've never really seen a guy close up naked.
However, I was kind of disgusted with this naked guy.
I was also really scared, which is weird,
because most of my friends have actually
had sex with a guy and obviously they are
comfortable with even more than just looking at that!
Is this usual? Is it ok to feel a little freaked out by...male parts?
I am really boy crazy and I love guys, so why
do I freak out so much if I see a naked guy?
What if I'm a Lesbian?
And by the way, I won't be watching that
guy on webcam again so don't worry!
You don't freak out if you see guy parts because you aren't attracted to male genitals. You freak out because, in our society, we are brought up with the notion that it is only respectful to see certain things in certain situations. This does not mean you are lesbian. You may freak out seeing another girl naked for the same reasons. It is a violation of their privacy, but also a violation of something personal, of your choice to see certain things only when the time is right. I agree that not viewing this man again on webcam is a smart choice. Same with not speaking to him again. Ever.
Are there any sites you can watch movies online, WITHOUT downloading them?
And I know some people upload movies onto YouTube, so are there any sites you can watch movies online besides YouTube? Thanks!
Peekvid.com
Flickpeek.com
alluc.org
dailymotion.com
ovguide.com
All of those sites work, however Flickpeek and Alluc are the easiest to use.
My boyfriend and I have been together for a while now and we are totally in love. He's 17 and is still a virgin because he wanted to wait for a girl who's still a virgin also and has all the other qualities he wants(which is me). In the beginning of our relationship he told me that he would never ask for sex but things are changing now. He'll be 18 this month and he wants us to have sex on his birthday. At first i was fine with it because there was no way that either of us would catch anything since we've never done anything. But I've realized that I want to wait until marriage and he is kind of mad but tries to hide it. He said that he still loves me and nothing will change. But i know he is extremely disappointed. I want our relationship to be awesome without sex. so I just dont know what to do....any advice would be helpful
It seems your boyfriend realizes that this shouldn't change anything and that he shouldn't ask for sex. It sounds like, by covering up his emotions, he is trying to move on and to stick to what he should do. Just keep doing what you would normally do in your relationship, and don't bring up the subject.
I have been single for 10 months because my past relationship was with a guy I truely loved but he wasnt willing to devote himself to atleast calling me once a day to talk to me.
I have found this guy that I really like and He recently told me he liked me to. hes really nice, and not like most of the other guys i know. He is rude, he doesnt party much and hes not like most of the guys ive dated. I really like him but for some reason I get really shy around him (which isnt normal). The only thing Im afraid of is that Im going to push him away Like i do with alot of guys and i dont want to do that.
I think i push guys away when the treat me well but i dont understand why.
my question is. How do I try to losten up around him so that he knows i like him and so maybe we could move further and start dating. And how do I not push him away when this starts to happen?
Please help!
Getting shy around someone you like is actually quite normal; this is probably not what will drive him away. What will do this is the fact that you seem to be rather demanding on these guys.
I obviously can't gauge much from what is written here, but it seems a little odd that you would break up with someone because they wouldn't call you once a day. Sure, it's nice to be called once a day, or to want to be called once a day to be talked to. However, if you start demanding this, especially to the point where that would break you up with someone, this is a problem. Putting any sort of demand on a relationship (ei, you have to call me once a day or we won't be together) generally strains it. Obviously he shouldn't be allowed to cheat or do something else to bully or disrespect you, but no guy is going to want to be with you if it comes with too many conditions. In the future, try putting into a relationship what you want out of it. If he doesn't call, call him. If he's busy often, be flexible. You don't really have a problem if he no longer enjoys talking to you.
With this new guy, don't focus so much on what you are doing per say, or get overly paranoid about messing anything up. Think of it as being friends with a guy along with some extra benefits and commitment. Think of it like being in a really close friendship - you don't ask to be called every night, but you end up spending hours on the phone anyway because well you can't explain it, you just enjoy doing that.
Also remember that you are just getting to know this guy. Have fun and go places with him casually, and let things develop on their own. The best advice I was ever given on this topic was not to force anything.
Wish you luck =]
two questions on the same topiccc
13/f
•are first time boyfriends supposed to be special in a girls life? like is a big deal to the mom or something?
•are a girls first kiss supposed to be really special? like are you supposed to search for the right dude in order to have you first kiss? or can it be just some dude u like but aren't dating?
thanks so much!!!
as many answers as possible please!
For both of them - it's pretty much what you make of it. If you were pressured into kissing a guy, or your first kiss was with someone that you didn't know - well, that probably won't be a very special experience.
It probably depends on the mom (to answer your first question). Some mom's may get very interested when her kids start having romantic feelings, and suddenly want to know everything about the guy, some may laugh; in general it will probably bring up some feelings of nostalgia. This all also depends on how close you are to your mom, and how much you tell her about the guy.
There is nothing you are supposed to do in the dating/kissing business. In my opinion, I like feeling that my boyfriends and kissees are "special", and yes, this does involve waiting for someone you have some sort of feelings for. However, how you lead your love life is something to find out on your own. Don't be afraid to take risks and mess up, but also don't be afraid to stick to your convictions and look out for yourself.
Trends aren't important to me but making my style my own is important to me. I know I can't be original but I need some help. For reasons irrelevant to the question a large amount of my clothing has disappeared. 8-) I am NOT emo, but I think someone who is emo might be able to help me. =/
In the makeup department I'm good and in the hair department I'm okay but I need some ideas for clothes.. stuff I could find laying around the house and do something really cool with.. Cutting the fingers off gloves type stuff.. only something I haven't thought of.
I currently have limited money and supplies so the cheaper your answer the better- lol. Any hair ideas that are easy and cheap would be nice too. I usually wear it down or in a ratty bun or over my face.
I feel kind of stupid for asking this on here but nobody knows who I am so it must be safe! Haha.
Please help and thank you.
THANKS A WHOLE LOT.
Any answer is pretty much a good answer on this one!
Go through your closets, even your parents' closets, and see what you find (that they don't mind you wearing, obviously). Basically have fun with it. Don't look at any item of clothing one way but experiment with lots of different ways to wear it. Maybe a skirt can turn into a top, or that really long t-shirt you found and hated can be cinched at the waist with a belt and worn over leggings/ skinny jeans.
Cutting things up is always fun. Be creative and make large artistic holes in the sleeves, or cut the neckline into a completely original shape (maybe so that it only goes over one shoulder, has a double neckline, or ... well cut necklines just look really good generally on old shirts).
You can also pretty much personalize anything with stencils and acrylic paint. This paint won't come out in the wash, and you can find pretty much anything online (print out a large image from google and cut out whatever areas you want to appear on the clothes) if you are nervous about yourself in the painting department, or just want a more foolproof design. Lots of well fitting, cheap, basic t-shirts can be modified this way to become personalized and amazing.
Another must (especially if you lack lots of clothes) is layering. Wear tank tops over t-shirts and long-sleeved shirts, and dresses/skirts over pants (that also helps with the whole people-looking-at-your-undies-problem). Accessories are also very useful, such as scarves that you can fold multiple different ways, and long sashes that you can use as a scarf or a belt. Vests are also good because you can wear them with anything. If you get armwarmers you can wear summer tops in the winter and not freeze, so you make use of what you have even more.
For the stores, anything goes. If you want to create a more personalized style, second hand/thrift stores may take more expertize to shop in, but the prices and the results are worth it. You could also go to a mall when there are sales and buy whatever looks interesting. It's good to have some basic well fitting clothes as "staples" ie jeans and leggings that you can wear with/under anything.
For the hair, generally it helps to get one good haircut so you never have to think about it again. You could also try going to bed with braids to curl hair... anything else I could suggest would be more complicated and require products, so that is for you to experiment. If you have longer hair, though, it could be fun just to play with how many different up-dos you can make by letting pieces of your hair hang down, or by one day putting your hair in a half-bun, for example.
Basically, you don't actually have to follow any of this. Just experiment and go crazy and wear whatever you feel like at that moment. Don't ever say you can't be original - we were all born that way.
Happy styling!
ok i have a boyfriend who i LOVE ! last year i met this guy who was new to school and talked to him a few times in class. recently, ive gotten back in touch with him and weve been talkin on myspace. i hardly ever see him in school anymore but i did today. i had this weird attraction to him. i dont think hes that hott, hes not ugly but idk just not my style in guys looks-wise, but hes cool! how can i get over the weird attraction? hes one of my friends so i dont wanna avoid him. and dont say 'oh just think of your boyfriend instead and how much you love him!', because its not that im falling for this guy, im just attracted. but it feels weird. any advice??
Just don't worry about it. It's perfectly fine to be attracted to other guys if you're in a relationship, as long as you don't do anything about it or actually seriously start falling for them (that could get messy). In the mean time, just treat him like one of your friends, and focus on whatever things you normally focus on.
If it feels too weird, you could always try bringing around lots of other friends when you two hang out and have large, group discussions. As well, you could try mentioning your boyfriend a lot around him, and being careful not to flirt/tease him just so he doesn't get the wrong idea. It may even be useful to look out for his lovelife, so that you are taking these attraction feelings and doing something useful with them (getting others to appreciate it). Look at the attraction objectively, because that's all that it is (or you may have other problems).
I have a problem making friends. Whenever I think I found a group of friends that like me and I could be friends with for a while, it turns out they none of them like me. I try SO hard to be nice to everyone. I don't like it when anyone hates me, so I try to not cause anything. I had a group of best friends over the summer, but most of them went to college, and we all hardly talk anymore. I want that one friend that I can go to for anything and trust, but I can NEVER trust anyone because once I think I can, they turn around and tell someone else. I already try and be nice to people, and I try to hang out with people that have the same interests in me. I had people from my Cross Country team, but now that Cross Country is over, we don't really talk. I have 3 friends that I've been trying to go out to eat with for about 2 weeks, but it never happens. It really upsets me that I cannot find at least one person who wants to be a good friend of mine, just someone to bashtalk when I leave.
My question is, how can I get friends that actually LIKE me, and want to hang out with me?
It's easiest if you find people as acquaintances first. Don't focus so much on finding a friend you can trust, but try to interact with many different interesting people and see who you generally end up spending more time with.
Remember that you aren't going to find true friends who will keep all of your secrets right away. People generally tell people things about other people, it's not necessarily insulting or a bad thing (if they are actually being mean to you, though, that's a different story). Try to start off by telling people things that you wouldn't mind being told to other people.
Finding true, close friends requires time. It's probably easier if you get to know groups of people first. Many groups naturally start to form at beginnings and ends of classes, and at lunches. Don't worry about these girls from cross country and stay with these groups moving from class to class, if you find people going in the same direction. In a group, find people on the edges of the group and start talking. Something like "hi, wow I am so unprepared for this test coming up" or "I love halloween I got all this candy", anything, really. Mostly, stay on general subjects until you get to know people, because they will have an easier time relating to you.
Also, now that cross country season is over, other sports teams are staring up. Investigate in things you are interested in. Maybe there is a play for school you'd like to try out for? Once you do get to know people from teams, try finding them at lunch, even if you don't talk as much. At least say hi to them in the hallway, or start conversations with them when you are both alone and bored. Alone and bored people are generally safe to talk to in general, since they are looking for someone to eat lunch with anyway (or talk to in general). Always try to eat lunch with someone, even if you do not really know the person. Don't try to figure out if you could trust them. If anything just don't trust them, then make small talk. Don't worry about what they will think of someone they don't know that well talking to them, either. Most people feel slightly insecure, and are worrying the same about you. Remember that most people are craving some sort of interaction, and won't mind hanging out with you (and if they do, they're being silly so you should move on).
As a final note, online communications are also useful not for meeting people, per say, but for restarting up friendships that died when cross country ended, for example. A simple hello on msn or myspace/facebook/friendster is always good, followed by something like "how are you doing" or "trying out for any more sports?" . If they continue the conversation - if anyone from the interactions above continues the conversation, then voila -friends!
Or maybe it;s not that instant, but you get the idea. Have an open mind, get involved, and try meeting lots of people/ talking to people you have met before.
15/f
hi!! most of my best friends have boyfriends. Some of them even have 8 -yes, 8- other guys vying for them as well. Like if they broke up with their boyfriend, they would be asked out by 8 guys at once in a heart beat.
Me on the other hand, i can't even get asked out once. i've never had a boyfriend, a kiss, or even a real "i mean it" type of hug from a guy. I'm starting to get really lonely and also pissed off because im tired of being left out of plans becuase i don't have a date/boyfriend and i really want to be liked by atleast one guy (that i even remotely like-there are some guys who like me, but they #1 don't have enough courage to tell me/ask me out and #2 they are gross (don't brush hair, bad BO and bad breath, and don't wash clothes).
how do i get someone to like me and how do i flirt with a guy to get their attention to ask me out.
if you could PLEASE help me, i would be really really really happy and grateful.
(o, i forgot to mention, im really shy and not good at starting conversations or keeping them going)
thanks so much and sorry this is so long
Don't worry so much about it, as this is quite common. There really is so much more to life - relationships are fun, but also time consuming and can be complicated. Don't beat yourself down, either. You say that there are guys that like you that are gross and smelly. How un-gross and hygienic are the 8 guys that like this friend of yours?
Before you consider asking a guy out, it would probably be best to get to know them as friends, or at least start developing feelings for one of them. For this it's best to play the field, or get involved in social situations where you are likely to meet people. If starting and maintaining conversations are not your forte, it would probably be best to go to a party/social get together with friends and to stand near groups of talking people whenever you see them. By this I don't mean be stalkerish or join groups of people that obviously know each other very well. It basically means you see a cluster of talking people forming say, before class when the teacher hasn't arrived yet. There is usually one person talking a lot, so be polite and listen. Also look for the bored stragglers that look like they have a lot to say but are not talking for whatever reason, or the people on the outskirts of the group. They will likely start talking to you. To get a conversation going, a smile is good, as well you could say something really random and relevant to get the conversation going (like - "where is x teacher" if the group has formed because said teacher is not there. Or "it's so cold today". Not the most exciting topic but no one actually cares because it's the socializing that's most important). Other good things to do are to join lots of clubs/ teams after school. If you automatically meet lots of people after school and do some sort of activity with them then meeting guys is easier. Once you have met people, or have had conversations with them, say hi to them whenever you pass them by in the halls. Then they are reminded of who you are, and it will be easier to start talking to them the next time.
To actually flirt with a guy - it's probably a little different with everyone. You can look it up online and get thousands of results. From experience, looking interested is really important, as is smiling and having fun with it. A lot of flirting just comes from teasing a guy, and having them tease you. You could jokingly accuse them of something, for example, or steal something of theirs (I want your scarf!). Once you know the guy more or if you actually like the guy, the teasing gets a little more physical, mostly on it's own. A lot of flirting is also in the body language. It's not really about looking smart or proving a point (though these are good convos to have with guys anyway), so you're probably going to look more relaxed and lean in closer. You could try, for example, playing with a guy's hair. In general, though, you should probably get to know guys somewhat before flirting.
To actually get a guy to ask you out, you flirt more with him if he flirts back. And if he's lazy you ask him out yourself! Maybe not directly. But you know. Ask the guy to go somewhere that you always go ANYWAY so there is no pressure.
All things considered, don't look desperate, and don't actually try to get a boyfriend for the sake of having one, ever. This doesn't usually work out. Instead, try being more social, and having fun with your single-dom. If you are being left out because of your status, talk to friends about it. Tell them you want to be invited to x event anyway, and that they shouldn't be leaving you out for stupid reasons (it is stupid). If the plan is a dance or other such event, find anyone who is single and will go with you, or just go alone and with your friends. If your close friends are solely paying attention to significant others at said events, find single friends and go in a giant single people mob.
Don't worry so much, use the single people mob to engulf all of the couples and the smelly boys =]. But on a more serious note, don't worry about it so much. You will be in relationships as you age, and many seem to think that these are the ones really worth having, anyway. For now enjoy your freedom, work on your shyness, and remember that whatever develops will come with time.
My story is too long, So im going to summarize it. I am so in love with this guy, There realy isnt any comparsion to how much we loved eachother. We were together for 2 years, And basicaly legends in our school. All because of how much we loved eachother. people would envy us so much and everyone said there is no way are we ever going to end up seperated.
Well we were going through alot of fights and problems lately, And i had decided to end it. He became furious and full of rage, And he said we shouldnt speak. Its been now 3 weeks and a half..He has tried to make small talk with me. We see eachother EVERYDAY in school which makes it harder to move on. Everyone see's it and as do i, He stares at me alot, Always glancing when my back is turned, He tries to have small talk with me, but always seems just angry during it, And he heard i was dating someone and actualy asked me about it. But though he does all that all his friends and his own brother said taht hes over me. My question is..How could a strong love relationship that was legend had him get over me so quickly? Is it possible that in 3 weeks and a half he could be over me soo soon? Even though he does all that.
I also want to add when he was trying to get over me he went out and did weed, Hung out with sluts ( but never did anything with them, I think it was just to get me jealous) He went out and smoked, and though he never played soccer at school everyday he plays soccer now, And before he had told me that soccer was a way of him keeping his mind off things.
I have no idea whats going on. Or what to do. I dono how to tell if a guy is completely over me or not. I dont know if he is. And its killing me so much to think he could be done. Usualy after every fight if i dumped him hed run after me but this time he was the one saying he didnt want to speak anymore. I just have no idea whats going on.
Help =[ I dont realy ever ask for advice..But im just so hurt, Thankyou in advance =]
The only way to truly know how he feels is to talk to him. He's already trying to make small talk, right? It is doubtful that he has completely "moved on" but also very possible that he's trying to, and wants to, but then again. How did you feel before he ran after you all the previous times you broke up?
Things aren't ever "meant to be". Yes, there are things that should happen, things that are most likely to happen, but the truth is that the only way for something to work is to make it happen. Relationships are rarely perfect, even those that are legends. Even in your relationship there were fights, were there not? The difference between relationships that work and those that don't is that people in the working ones stay in those relationships despite the fact that it's not perfect and they aren't always getting along, not because this doesn't happen.
The reason he got over this legendary relationship so quickly was because you broke up with him. Simple really, but you did ask. All of the other times this happened he came chasing after you, but he probably doesn't want to keep doing this, even if, say, as I'm writing this he gives you a phone call. No, he probably isn't happy this is over since you said he was "full of rage" when you broke up. Though, to him, it looks like you are moving on, with the rumours of you dating someone especially. Probably the only reason why he isn't out there chasing after you is because he's already done that, and now you've broken up with him. Again.
Right now you should probably think about how much you love this guy. If you did, why did you break up with him? It may actually be easier for you to be broken up if there is a lot of conflict; this is for you to decide. If you want to be out of this relationship, get over the fact that he isn't running after you. You wanted it to be over, right? You had lots of conflicts, right? It will be easier just not to think about him as much as possible if this is the case. Don't work yourself up over how bad the relationship was/ you are if he isn't as worked up as you would have thought. Base your self worth on something other than how fast he'll run when you're running away from him.
If you still love him (there was present tense in the second sentence), and really want to stick it out - not just to be legendary but because you really, truly want to - then it's up to you to do the chasing.
Okay. So this probably sounds really dumb or lame but I’m worried... but okay.
Me and my boyfriend went to this party, and I ended sleeping over, as did he, so we shared a bed. I stayed fully clothed, well he was just in his boxers. We were kissing alot, and eventually he was on top of me (i was still fully clothes, and he was still in his boxers)..he was pressing up against me, and I don't know he came or not. Is it possible if he did, to get pregnant? I’m suppose to get my period around tomorrow or so and my breasts feel tender and hurting, which is how I can usually tell when I get my period, but could worrying about this change when I’ll get my period, can my body play tricks?
Please help!
That would be a lot of material to travel through, and you'd have to be in just the right position. Plus you are going to get your period, and your body is telling you that your period is on the way. So no, I don't think that you are pregnant.
I've had a thing with some guy for about 6 months. Like we've both liked each other and constantly hooked up (as in kisssssing) every weekend bsaically.
He wants me to give him a handjob, which I have no problem doing, because I really like him.
But is it bad to give him a hand job if I'm not dating hiM? Like, slutty?
I really need help on this :/
I can't tell you what is slutty and what isn't. In many ways, that is for you to figure out, and what you probably should try to figure out. Think now about the kinds of things you are willing to give without commitment. Essentially, the more you wait until you are in some kind of committed relationship, the more you will have some sort of security about what you are doing. Basically, whether you are more interested in relationships or hookups comes down to the question of whether you want love or lust more. It's all part of your own unique identity, so I'm not going to tell you that what you are doing is wrong.
However, if you are already kissing and already like each other, what's the harm in straightening the situation out, and figuring out what you both want? A lot of what a relationship is is basically liking someone and kissing them, anyway. What is holding the two of you back and what do you have to lose?
But to answer your question (yes I know I got a slight bit off topic): it is slutty if it's making you uncomfortable or causing you to lose your dignity in some way. In general, someone who isn't dating you but asks for a hand job doesn't entirely care about you and is being immature. It may be slutty, it may not be slutty, so just focus on looking out for yourself. Basically, if you don't feel ready to give this guy a handjob, don't look for an excuse, just don't do it!
alright so i really am interesting in writing songs; i have but their all these wine-y songs.
i would really like to write metaphors in my songs
like example how fall out boy does it;;;like maybe one of their songs because their such an inspiration to me.
does anyone know how to write a song like them;;or to get my creativness flowing?
thank you! :]
Try thinking of a feeling, and once you have that feeling clear in your head, brainstorm a word that reminds you of that feeling. Then, you can make a chart (or just make a pretend chart in your head) that compares the qualities of that object and the qualities of that feeling. When you have to write something factual, reconsider what you are trying to say and see if you can add a metaphor to it, or even a simile. For example, in a song by fall out boy, the way a girl touches the author is compared to the "way your make-up stains my pillowcase". Think of an effect that a feeling/object/person has, and then think of something else with a similar effect. It's all about finding objects/feelings/ anythings that have similar characteristics to them.
To get creativity flowing, it often helps to just be relaxed or in the mood, or to have something clear in your mind (ei, a feeling, or a specific moment in time, or both). Don't be afraid to just write something completely random, and don't worry if the words don't make sense at first. Remember that it's not just the words and how they make sense that's important, but how, when combined together, they make you feel.
15/F
Ok so over the summer, me and one of my guy friends were acting like we were dating but we wouldn't officially go out cuz our other best friend liked him too. Well towards the end of the summer, we stopped. But a week later, I find out that the guy & my best friend are dating. That hurt me sooo much. But now, for other reasons, I really can't and don't want to talk to the guy. And me & my best friend just recently made up.We've benn friends for 10 years. But I still hardly ever get to hang out with her cuz of her boyfriend. She's literally always with him. And the only time I can hang out with her is if they get into a fight. I don't want them to fight but I want to hang out with my best friend. What should I do?
The best sure way to be able to hang out with your friend is to actually call her in advance, and plan a time to meet up with her. Might seem annoying if the other hang-outs you've had in the past with her have all been sortof hang out right after school types, but if she is now with her boyfriend during these times, that's going to be distracting for her.
You may also want to call her up, just to chat, if you really miss her. Or contact her online, that sort of thing. When you do reach her, it can't hurt to tell her how you feel. Not in a being upset about this guy kind of way, but just in a way that focuses more on how you feel than on her actions. You may wish to say something like " I miss hanging out with you, because I feel like we don't really see each other much anymore" and see how she responds.
13/F
I feel depressed for some reason... All I did today was my normal hyper stuff. I just suddenly feel depressed. Is that normal? What do you think caused it? I mean, all I did was sit around all of a sudden, I'm depressed... Please help...
It is normal to sometimes have "down days", especially at your age where mood swings are quite common; however, if you feel like this continuously for a week or so, and if it's stopping you from focusing, then you have a problem.
If you feel that you are having more than just a random not happy moment, I would encourage you to tell someone, such as a trusted adult or someone who can actually help, like a guidance councilor or your doctor. However, if this feeling hasn't persisted for huge amounts of time, I encourage you to listen to music, or do something that normally makes you feel good, and don't worry about this incident so much.
Hi! I told my bgf that i love him but not in love with him and not exaclty romantically but we were talking alone. I had hugged him bye and then was like wait 1 more thing and then i said I love you but im not IN love with you..." He was just like ok during this my hand was gently in his not exaclty holding hands but i had my hand in his which was cupped and i hugged him again and left. The other thing is we're not exactly friends w/benefits but he can't date until his next birthday (may!) and I don't even know if I want to date him (but prob. will) and we've kissed and I feel totally confortable with him. I dont know if everyone gets that but like when he held my hand i didnt even realize it. And he flirts with me sometimes overly and we flirt in general. The thing is when I told him that he didnt really respond. We've still kinda talked and it wasnt like awkward or anything but i dont know. I pretty much know he does too even if he doesnt tell me because i mean more like in a close friend way not marry me or anything like that haha. I really want to talk to him about it but i dont know how to bring it up and do you think thats a normal way for him to respond to it? Also do you think hes thinking about it or was just like ok whatever? i think he probably is thinking about it but i want others opinions. Lots of them lol :D hanks so much and I will rate all helpful posts!!!
If you tell him that you love him but aren't IN love... he may be very confused. First you are saying you love him and then you are saying you don't. The difference between love and being IN love is not something that everyone understands. I'm not even sure what you meant by that... that you love him as a friend but not a lover? He is probably more confused than I am, so choosing not to think about it to avoid confusing himself. If you would like him to reply, a more obvious statement is probably needed. (eg. I really enjoy spending time around you).
By flirting with you, he is letting you know that he likes you. Even the fact that you know he likes you means that he has shown this in some way. Guys are confused people, too. Very few of them will come out with flowers and ask you out romantically. He is probably looking for some sort of sign that you like him back, that you are worth breaking the dating rule to see (or maybe he is being rules-conscious about the whole thing). Basically it sounds like he is doing what you are doing, trying to figure out if you are into him or not (either that or in his personal life he can be shy... some guys are better at making the first move than others). If you are interested, act like it: flirt back, and don't tell him you don't like him romantically. If you want to remain friends, stop holding his hand. Then, see how he responds.
From what I understand, it sounds like he likes you but is new to this whole thing, and isn't quite sure how to show it, yet. Mostly, it looks like he is paying attention to how you act, and will probably act like either a friend or a lover depending on how you treat him and the situation. He may not act like he wants to date you even though he does because he cares about you and doesn't want to force anything on you.
Usually, in these situations, the best indicator is body language. However, the next best way is to reveal how you feel first, maybe just slightly more clearly than your previous attempt =]
In my house we have a family dog, that everyone loves, including me. She sleeps with everyone, and everyone shares her bla blah blah. I want my own dog, like a small one. That i can say is just mine, and just for me. I certainly won't forget about my own family dog, because i love her more than Harry Potter, my problem is my mom doesn't want another dog. My dad said its fine, but nobody understands how bad i want this thing. It means alot to me, to have my own unique dog that i can calll my own, and not the famimlys. My brother and sister don't help much either. So, what should i do?
Well the obvious answer would be to keep arguing. Though, to be honest, your family may have a point. If the dog is yours, then you are the only one who will take care of it. That is a lot of responsibility. If you truly feel that you can handle whatever the family pitches in to take care of this family pet, make sure you communicate this in a way that makes them realize that you understand the responsibility, and that you are ready for it. Do some research and look up dog breeds on the internet, basically find out everything you can from breeders to food so that your parents are more inclined to say yes than have second doubts when trying to figure all of this out for themselves.
Talk to your Mom. She may have valid reasons for not wanting another dog. Whether you like it or not, this dog will belong at least partially to everyone else because it is living in a house shared by other people, including your mom. Besides, I am assuming that, as your parent, she will be contributing to the cost of its upbringing (unless you plan to buy the dog, the chewtoys, and the food all with your own pocket money). If you understand where she is coming from, you are more likely to be able to have a reasonable conversation where you can lay out all of your points for this second pet.
Persistence works best, but realizing everything from their point of view is better because then you can counteract their points with creative ideas of your own. If it is a space issue, research small breeds. If the dog would just be another hassle, prove that you are responsible and committed to this dog's care, shown perhaps through the dog you already have. Explain to them why this means so much to you, when parents are in a relatively calm state. Good luck!
Ok so i am a procrastinator right? i have to lose 7 pounds by this sunday in order to fit into my uniform!! does anyone know any fast weight loss diets or exercises that are healthy??? PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE help!! thanks!!
Losing weight fast is not only unhealthy, it is also almost guarantee to come back so that you will possibly weight more in the end. You need to readjust your goals. Losing seven pounds in days is not realistic, and shouldn't be realistic. Going on a diet is not as realistic as changing your diet to one you can stick with, and being healthier overall. Do you really want to lose seven pounds, fit into your uniform, and then suddenly grow out of it again? Or would it be better to starve yourself indefinitely and end up with an eating disorder?
I'm probably not going to tell you stuff that you don't know already. Basically, the best way to healthy eating isn't to starve yourself but to stop eating when you are full, and to eat foods that are good for you. This is basically complex carbohydrates such as whole wheat bread instead of always eating white bread, not eating as much "junk food" ei fried foods, candies, anything with lots of sugar (look in the ingredient list for foods and don't eat many things that contain ingredients that end in -ose). Remember also to eat lots of protein and good fats available in nuts, fish oils, and any sort of liquid fat (ei eat margarine instead of butter). Add less sugar to your coffee (if you drink coffee) and don't eat huge amounts of foods like cheddar cheese. In general, darker, leafier vegetables and vegetables with more intense colour not only taste better but are a lot better for you than starchy vegetables like potatoes.
Basically, eat what you like but don't overdo it on empty sugars, starches, and animal fats/ processed foods. Or even eating a little less junk food and a little more whole wheat bread does make a difference. The above things are advice, and I really don't recommend you follow it completely religiously though it is one way to be healthier. Moderate exercise (30 mins 3 times a week) is also not hard to build into a schedule and makes a huge difference. Or join a team at school - it's fun and they really kick you into shape.
Whatever you do, though, don't get caught up in how much you weigh, because this is really just a number. If you feel you need to lose weight, make sure you take care of yourself and keep your focus on being healthy, not on being supermodel thin, necessarily. I just feel I have to say this because there is too much pressure out there nowadays.
Weight is not something you can pull an all-nighter to lose like a school project. One's health really does take time and effort and any shortcut will just makes you realize this the hard way. In the meanwhile, alter your uniform so it is slightly roomier, or just get a new one. Alter your clothes to fit your body and not the other way around.
I met my boyfriend about a year and 5 months ago.
I needed a place to stay as my family is 5000 km's away from me and i have no friends or family here.
So i moved in as a roomate.Then we started to have sex and after a while we were a couple.
Lasy year in Novembe i was raped, and at this time i was such a mess from the rape and still am.
My boyfriend, was careing and helped me do everything as i was to afraid to even let my dogs out for the longest time.
Now that i am getting better as this rape happend 11 1/2 months ago, I have cleared my head AND I CAN NOT BELIVE THAT I WAS So STUOID TO HAVE NOT HAVE SEEN WHAT HE WAS AND IS DOING TO ME.
Before he used to tell me nice things hug me.
Now all he does is call the cops on my form no reason and themn calls them back and says he was trying to call 411 and they come here.
YESTERDAY we moved and cops came to our door the first night we moved here. And if i try to leave my house when he is like this, he blocks me and pushes me or slams my to the ground pulls the phone out of the wall, so i cant use it, And then calls 911 on me.
He yells at me in walmart because he think i do not need conditioner and i shouldnt by it with my own money.
When he figtsh with me he hurts me and then when move at all he cowards down and pretends to shake like i am going to hit him.
He does not ever touch me or talk to me, but i have to do everthing for him dirve him to work pick him up. And if i say no he will get so angry and repetativly for up to 7 houser he will yell at me threaten, push me and i am forced to drive him or i will go crazy and i am scared i am going to kill myself.
Nothing psitive comes out of his mouth towards me.
HE HAS made me so empty inside that i didnt think this kind of coldnes could live in any soul.
The other day i broke down as he forced me to drive him into town. I told him he has been making me scared and crazy since i met him.
He said he was sorry and he didnt see it, But he called the cops lasnihgt and threw me around.
He now says that i deserved to have been raped.
And because i live so far from my family and i have no friends here and am off work from this rape problem. I HAVE NO WHERE TO TURN OR GO.
As dumb as this sounds I LOVE MY DOG TO DEATH and if i went to a shealter i can only stay there from a month and then i would be homless.
I am 26 and he is 21.
You do not deserve to be treated this way, so don't give up, or tell yourself that you can't get out of it. Don't let yourself live in that mindframe. If anything, there are animal shelters that you can put your dog in, shelters for dogs that belong to women like you (I'm not really sure where you live but I know that such things exist).
There are certainly more options than a women's shelter (do they really only let you stay for a month?). Even if you could only stay for a month, you are 26; there must be a way for you to get a job, no matter how basic, in order to provide the rent money you need to move out.
If he pushes you around, call nine one one on HIM instead of the other way around. This probably isn't that easy in the heat of the moment, but the abuse he is giving you really is a serious crime. You don't need to wait until he is pushing you around. He has been for a while, right? Call a hotline, the police, some kind of resource (there may even be more on google), whatever you do don't do nothing.
Also, check if moving back with friends and family is really impossible. They would probably do everything in their power to help, assuming they are close to you at all, if they knew your situation.
I just feel like i really am. There were a series of events that just took me out of where I use to be, and I just feel like I've changed for the better. Yet, I'm falling apart. I can't concentrate. I just want to do well in school, but I keep getting distracted because I'm sad about certain things. Another thing is that small little things annoy me, and I get all this anxiety for no reason. Can I have a little advice here please? I just want to calm down and do well in school.
Thank you
The best way to concentrate is to probably break what you have to do up into little bits. Like if you know that you are really going to have a hard time concentrating in a day, and feel like you can absolutely do nothing, do one thing. Not a huge things. Just one thing. Think of everything you have to do, but also go through and find the things that aren't as important/due the next day, and don't worry about them until you can be less worried and can actually focus. Once you have done that one little thing, don't beat yourself up about how you still have so much more to do, only did this one thing, or aren't that great a person. Celebrate. Eat some ice cream, maybe? Make yourself really happy that you did something. It helps to start with little goals. If you start beating yourself up, get a notepad and write down every bad thought (ei, I'm falling apart) and then underneath it write all this positive stuff that will counteract that idea so that you can feel better about yourself.
When you are feeling sad and having trouble focusing, try to do something that makes you feel centered to distract yourself for a bit, to make you feel better. Do you have anything you can do that makes you happy, that you are passionate in? It can be anything: listening to music, drawing, sculpting, writing, horseback riding, running, whatever makes you feel better. Once you have done this for a bit, hopefully you'll feel better enough to do something.
Sometimes, if you get really sad, it's okay to just let it all out, to listen to a really sad song and just cry. If you ever need to do this, don't try to get yourself to hold it in.
Also remember to see your friends, to talk to people. This may help you feel less sad and may also center you. As well, sports often do produce chemicals that create happiness, although it may be hard to do them if you feel like this.
It sounds like you may have some sort of depression/anxiety disorder. This isn't really something to be ashamed of; it's actually really common and often just some chemical imbalance in the brain that is really not your fault. If you are concerned, talk to a guidance councilor or an adult you trust, who can help you go seek help from a variety of different professional peoples. In the long run, this can really help. However, because the helpfulness of these services really does take a while, try to muster up part of yourself each day to get through it, one small thing at a time, and don't ever forget to enjoy the little things that make you happy - the sunsets, the dewdrops, the way the sky looks just after the sun has gone down, even the unpoetic random sparkly object. Everyone does fall apart at some point in some sense, and once it is over you will be all the stronger coming out of it.
Best of luck to you.