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i dont want to push him away.
I have been single for 10 months because my past relationship was with a guy I truely loved but he wasnt willing to devote himself to atleast calling me once a day to talk to me.
I have found this guy that I really like and He recently told me he liked me to. hes really nice, and not like most of the other guys i know. He is rude, he doesnt party much and hes not like most of the guys ive dated. I really like him but for some reason I get really shy around him (which isnt normal). The only thing Im afraid of is that Im going to push him away Like i do with alot of guys and i dont want to do that.
I think i push guys away when the treat me well but i dont understand why.
my question is. How do I try to losten up around him so that he knows i like him and so maybe we could move further and start dating. And how do I not push him away when this starts to happen?
Please help!
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Getting shy around someone you like is actually quite normal; this is probably not what will drive him away. What will do this is the fact that you seem to be rather demanding on these guys.
I obviously can't gauge much from what is written here, but it seems a little odd that you would break up with someone because they wouldn't call you once a day. Sure, it's nice to be called once a day, or to want to be called once a day to be talked to. However, if you start demanding this, especially to the point where that would break you up with someone, this is a problem. Putting any sort of demand on a relationship (ei, you have to call me once a day or we won't be together) generally strains it. Obviously he shouldn't be allowed to cheat or do something else to bully or disrespect you, but no guy is going to want to be with you if it comes with too many conditions. In the future, try putting into a relationship what you want out of it. If he doesn't call, call him. If he's busy often, be flexible. You don't really have a problem if he no longer enjoys talking to you.
With this new guy, don't focus so much on what you are doing per say, or get overly paranoid about messing anything up. Think of it as being friends with a guy along with some extra benefits and commitment. Think of it like being in a really close friendship - you don't ask to be called every night, but you end up spending hours on the phone anyway because well you can't explain it, you just enjoy doing that.
Also remember that you are just getting to know this guy. Have fun and go places with him casually, and let things develop on their own. The best advice I was ever given on this topic was not to force anything.
Wish you luck =]
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I'm the same way! I've also lost a good boyfriend due to my shyness and insecurity, so I learned that basically I have to love myself and flaunt that I do! Swallow that lump in your throat and be outgoing towards him.
And it's probably not that you push away guys that are sweet and good to you...it just feels foreign from the guys you've dated who've failed to commit.
Best of luck =D
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First off there is nothing wrong with being shy, some guys will even find that sexy. The problem here is not you being shy, its about you pushing guys away, and thats the issue you need to address before you even begin to worry about getting into a relationship. Maybe you fear getting hurt if you let someone get to close to you, only you can figure out why you push men away but once you find out why you do it, and you stop, I am sure you will have a happy and healthy relationship! Best of luck!!
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You need to be confident, and not think about your ex boyfreind, which i think is one of your problems. even if yopu dont think it is, it might be a sub-concious problem. anyways, just pretend you dont like him more than a freind and act around him like you would if he wasnt the guy you really really liked. When you feel yourself putting a wall up or push him away, open up and dont bottle anything up. let it all out
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Ok well first off i have been there so many times and I see what you are talking about but chica you need to step up the game alittle you know? Being shy is just gonna push him away and then he will find more girls that like to have FUN so if you still want to be with him change alittle and get your flirt on nina thats how I got my boyfriend
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i get what you mean, and your right acting shy will only make him insecure and wonder if you like him, so the best way to show him you like him is flirt with him do things you havent done before. like play with his hair, etc.
hope i helped = )
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